InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hey girl, wanna dance?"

emma is not a very good amazon (ex_amazonian45) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2012-04-22 10:56:00

Entry tags:

claire winchester, dean winchester, emma winchester

WHO: Dean, Claire, and ickle!Emma
WHAT: Trying to calm down a pint-sized Amazon.
WHEN: Not long after this.
WHERE: Dean & Claire's house.
RATING: TBD
STATUS: In Progress

Emma knew she wasn't supposed to scream, stomp, or break things. Those were lessons her mommy had taught her early on and they were ones that had stuck. Amazons, she'd been told, didn't behave that way. They were calm and centered, focused on what needed to be done. Sometimes a little rude and always willing to fight, but never did they give in to fear or let their anger rule them. However when Emma had awoken in a strange place, with no sign of her mother whatsoever, she had quickly forgotten all of those lessons and had lashed out in the only way her small mind had known to do.

Now, nearly an hour after her outburst, she was perched on the edge of the bed where she'd woken. There were bits of broken trinkets on the floor at her feet, mixed with large splinters of wood from the door she'd very nearly broken down when first trying to leave. The blankets and pillow that had been on the bed were now in the corner of the room, thrown there in one final act of defiance before the blonde lady had given her a look that had made her promptly sit down, drop her hands into her lap, and not move so much as a muscle again.

Which is still how she was sitting. Back straight, face an unreadable mask, eyes staring straight ahead and tiny mouth clamped firmly shut. She looked, for all the world, like a small, blond soldier waiting her next orders. In a way, she was. The only problem was, the people she was supposed to listen to weren't there. Her mom was nowhere to be found, the women of her tribe - the ones she would someday be sent to stay with - weren't around either. There had been no handing her over, nothing at all. She'd simply gone to sleep in her bed and woken up here.

With her father, of all people.

Hearing the front door shut and the voices she'd been half-listening to finally stop, Emma slowly tightened her hands, still firmly placed in her lap, into little fists. As the footsteps - two pair, one set female and the other set male - began to slowly ascend the stairway just outside the bedroom, she tightened her fists even more. And by the time the door, which was resting only halfway on its hinges, slowly creaked open, Emma was squeezing her hands into fists so tightly that she could feel her fingernails biting into her palms.

Other than that, though, there was no reaction from her. She didn't look at whoever had just come into the room, didn't even so much as blink. She simply continued to stare at a spot on the wall across the room, mind going over and over what she must have done wrong to end up being sent to live with someone that she wasn't supposed to get to know ever.

(Post a new comment)

righteousman
2012-04-23 02:33 am UTC (link)

Dean wasn't sure what to do. Here he was, faced with a tiny, very angry Amazon. More than that, the tiny, angry Amazon was his daughter. As much as he'd tried to deny that, it was true. And, faced with the child version of Emma, he was struck with a strong sense of protectiveness. This was his daughter and she was scared and upset and he just wanted to fix it. Only he couldn't, because she didn't trust him. In fact, he was pretty sure she already hated everything he was. He had to give those Amazons credit, they certainly knew how to program their children young. He'd almost be impressed, if he wasn't so disgusted at the thought.

It hurt to see the little girl so upset and not have a way to fix it. He felt helpless and guilty and just so awful there weren't words for it. This young, he could see so much of Meri in her, and it broke his heart not to be able to do something. He wondered, privately, how he ever could have denied that she was his when just seeing her in pain was enough to make him feel like the lowest thing on the damn planet. He knew that, once Emma was herself again, he'd have a lot of apologizing to do. For now though, he was just going to try and connect with his daughter. Provided, of course, that she actually gave him a chance and didn't write him off without so much as a token effort.

He was just glad Claire was with him. His wife was letting him take the lead, because otherwise there was no chance of this working, but she was going to hang around to give stern looks or words when needed. It was, after all, the one thing that seemed to get Emma under control. He sighed as he walked up the stairs, wishing it wasn't necessary to have Claire around just to make his daughter talk to him. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful for her help, because he was, but he wished he could get through to Emma without the safety net. Then again, he figured this was nothing more than he deserved for reacting how he had when she first showed up. That definitely hadn't been his greatest moment.

"Hey," he said, careful of the bowl in his hands as he slipped into the room. "I...uh...brought you something. Figured we could talk a little." He held the bowl out to her. "It's mint chocolate chip...and...it's totally a bribe." It was a calculated risk, but he figured honesty would go over better with Emma than anything else. He knew she liked mint chocolate chip, at least when she was older. They kept some on hand in the house just for when she came by to spend time with the kids. He just hoped this pint-sized version, pun completely not intended thanks very much, would like it.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

ex_amazonian45
2012-04-23 03:32 am UTC (link)

Claire hesitated in the hallway, partially because she wasn't sure she could really handle the chaos that was happening to her family and needed a moment to compose herself, and partially because she was hoping Dean could do this on his own. She hated having to serve as some sort of prison warden when it came to her husband and his daughter. However that's exactly how she felt and knew, in a way, that's what she was, too. If Emma acted up, she would rush into the room and calm her down. If not... well, Claire figured the floor of the hallway was about as comfortable as any other floor in her house could get, so she sat down and waited to see if she was needed or if the small, upset, and clearly angry, girl in the bedroom would allow Dean entrance without trying to rip off his arms and beat him to death with them.

Emma, for her part, didn't respond to the sound of her father's voice at first. His 'hey' didn't seem to even register. Her expression remained stoic, her attention locked on the spot on the wall that she'd been staring at for several minutes already. It wasn't until he mentioned he had ice cream - and her favorite flavor, no less - that she seemed to even acknowledge she'd heard him. At first, it was nothing more than a slight twitch of her mouth. Then she slowly turned her gaze to him, expression still neutral, as she looked first at the bowl he was offering then finally met his gaze.

"My mommy said I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers." She paused, a mischievous glint shining in her eyes as the corners of her mouth twitched ever so slightly. "But she didn't say I couldn't take ice cream." Unclasping her hands, she moved them to her sides and unfurled them from the fists they'd been. Her gaze went to the bowl, then once again back to Dean.

"Why are you bribing me?" she asked curiously, still a bit stifled in her posture but her tone most certainly easing up a little bit with each second that passed. She frowned slightly. "I'm not doing anything for you. You're a boy." She paused, then tacked on pointedly, "And I don't even know how to do anything yet. I'm still waiting for my initiation."

It was clear, from the way she pronounced the last word, that she thought quite highly of whatever her tribe had in store for her.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

righteousman
2012-04-24 01:40 am UTC (link)

Dean couldn't help but smile at Emma's reaction to the ice cream. For all that he knew she was an Amazon, and that she would grow at a frankly alarming rate, she was still a normal little girl. It was something of a relief, knowing that there was still a chance she could have a normal childhood with him if she let herself. "I definitely don't know any rules about not taking ice cream," he told her softly in a conspiratorial tone, watching as she took the bowl. He didn't bother to argue that he wasn't a stranger. He knew it would only make her more defensive, because to her he was.

"I'm not trying to get you do do anything for me," he said with a sigh. "You shouldn't have to do anything for anyone unless you want to." It was the closest he would come to outright saying he thought the Amazons were completely fucked up for how they raised their kids. "I'm just bribing you so that maybe you'll talk to me and get to know me...even though I am a boy." He wasn't sure if this would work, and he certainly didn't have any real expectation that it would, but he could certainly hope. He really did want this second chance to get to know Emma and be the father he had denied being when he first met her.

"Look," he said, gently. "I know you're supposed to kill me one day, because that's what Amazons do, but I don't think you will. Because you're a good person, Emma. A really good person. And you don't want to hurt anyone, do you?" He gave her a small smile. "I might be wrong, but I don't think I am." He was quiet for a moment, then continued. "I know you don't like me," he said, "but I just want to keep you safe. That's all I want. That's why you're here. So I can look after you and make sure nothing happens until we can get you back to your mom. Okay, honey?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ex_amazonian45
2012-04-24 03:33 am UTC (link)

Although Emma was listening to what her father had to say, it wasn't overly apparent. From the moment she had the bowl of ice cream in her hands, her attention was locked on it as though it held the secrets of life itself as well as the universe as a whole. Scooping some of the ice cream into her mouth, she sucked on it thoughtfully as she listened to what he had to say. It wasn't until he'd finished by calling her 'honey' that she gave any real outwardly reaction. Even then, it was nothing more than a slight furrowing of her brow before finally, slowly, she raised her gaze upward to meet his once more.

"It's Emma," she said plainly. There wasn't any clear upset in her tone, no sign that she'd been insulted by the term of endearment. She simply said her name again then looked back to her ice cream for a moment. After she'd taken another bite, she finally looked back to Dean.

"Mommy said I don't got-" she paused, knowing that didn't sound right, and tried again, "have a choice. If I want to be part of my tribe, I have to do what every warrior before me has done." Her brow furrowed yet again as she met his gaze before dropping it back to the bowl in her hands.

"But no," she admitted softly, "I don't want to hurt anyone." She sniffled quietly, blinking furiously against the tears that were welling in her eyes. Her voice, for perhaps the first time since she'd woken in this strange place, sounded every bit the small, frightened child that she was.

"But I don't want to get killed, either," she whispered. Sniffling once more, she seemed to regain some control over herself as she steadfastly took another bite of ice cream, chewing the soft substance steadily as she made herself raise her gaze yet again. Her expression this time wasn't guarded but was rather a look of utter heartbreak. Her lower lip quivered once, twice, three times before she finally managed to tearfully ask what she had been terrified of wanting to know since she'd first woken up in a strange room with people she didn't know.

"Why did she send me away, to stay with you? What did I do wrong?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

righteousman
2012-04-24 04:47 am UTC (link)

Dean nodded at the insistence that he use her name. He didn't mind and, truth be told, it was a step up. At least she was calm and not overreacting when he said the wrong thing. "Sorry, Emma," he corrected. "You saw Meri...I have a bad habit of calling her stuff like that and it just slipped out. You remind me a lot of her, you know...and that's a good thing, because she's a pretty amazing kid." He smiled at Emma. "And you already seem pretty amazing too. But I'm probably pretty biased. But I'll definitely remember to call you by your name from now on."

He sighed as she reiterated what her mother said, then admitted that she didn't want to hurt anyone but didn't want to get killed. His heart went out to her, because she really was in a rough spot. He could only imagine what it had been like for her the first time around, being raised to feel like she had no say in her own life. Raised to kill without any sense that she had a choice in the matter. Raised...like him.

It hit him like a punch to the gut that he felt such a connection with this younger version of his daughter because he saw so much of himself in her. He'd spent his life taught that he had to be a hunter, to kill all the monsters in the world, and he'd never questioned it. Hell, he'd resented Sam for turning his back on that life, when all Sam had done was try to make a choice for himself. He felt a stab of anger at his father for turning Dean into the soldier he'd been. So many things he'd done, so many times his life had been black and white with no room for another way, those were John's mark on him. He wanted, more than anything, to save his daughter from that.

"Listen to me, Emma," he said, kneeling down in front of the bed and putting his hands gently on her shoulders as he looked her in the eye. "You always have a choice. Never let anyone make you feel like you don't. You're strong and you're smart and you can do absolutely anything you want. If you don't want to hurt anyone, then don't. Your life is yours. Nobody else can decide for you. Not me or your mom or anyone else. If your tribe won't accept you unless you do what they want, that isn't right. It's really not."

"But don't let anyone hurt you either," he said. "Self-defense is never a bad thing. You have to look out for yourself. You don't have to attack people, but defending yourself is always the right move. I can show you how to do that, if you want. I've been doing this a while, and I'm pretty good at it...or so people tell me anyway."

As her lip started trembling, he pulled her into a gentle hug. It was loose enough that she could easily pull away if she wasn't comfortable, but he didn't end it himself. He couldn't stand to see tears in her eyes, and he was willing to risk her hitting him if it made her feel even a little better. "You didn't do anything wrong, Emma," he insisted. "Nothing. You're perfect just how you are. I don't know why you were sent here, but I do know that." He didn't want to explain this city, worried it would confuse her or make her think he was lying, but he also wouldn't tell her that her mother had sent her away when she hadn't.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ex_amazonian45
2012-04-24 06:13 pm UTC (link)

In her admittedly very short life, Emma had never been hugged by anyone besides her mother. She had never interacted with anyone else, either, truth be told, but that wasn't nearly as important as the hugging thing. Because she knew, when she was grown, she was going to go out into the world and interact with other people. But being hugged by them? That had never seemed a remote possibility.

So it took her a few seconds to respond in any real capacity. She simply sat there, fighting the urge to cry, with her back still straight as a line and her hands holding onto the bowl of ice cream she'd been given. Then, when Dean started talking about how she was perfect and wasn't in some kind of trouble of being punished, something inside of her seemed to snap. With a muffled sob, she buried her face in his chest and wrapped her small arms around him as best she could manage. Her entire body trembled as she cried at the knowledge that she would probably never see her mother ever again She cried for the fact that she wasn't going to be accepted into her tribe because she wasn't there to learn how to be a real Amazon and make them proud. She cried out of fear and heartache, struggling to understand just why this was happening to her. On and on the reasons went until, finally, the crying slowed before coming to a complete stop.

Letting go of her father after another moment or so, she sniffled softly and peered down at her bowl of half-melted ice cream that was perched in her lap. "I got your shirt wet. I'm sorry," she said softly, scrubbing at her eyes with tiny fists before blinking up at him.

"Mommy said you kill people like us. That you hunt us. That's what you do for a job." She searched his face for a few seconds, before asking solemnly, "Are you going to kill me?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

righteousman
2012-04-25 07:01 am UTC (link)

It felt good to comfort Emma like this and Dean knew that, even if she didn't remember any of this in the end, their relationship had been irrevocably changed on his end. He wanted to protect her, even though he knew she was perfectly capable of protecting herself, and he wanted to be a part of her life. He just wasn't sure how to go about that. He didn't want to change her, and he was afraid that being too involved in her life would change the person she was. And that wouldn't be right. She deserved to live her life without him interfering.

Of course, that all went out the window once the little girl started sobbing into his shirt. He pulled her closer, not caring that he was probably getting ice cream on himself, and stroked her hair while she cried. He couldn't imagine how hard this was for her, feeling confused and alone, wondering what she had done to deserve this when she hadn't done anything. It really made him want to go and punch Asaph in the face, except he a) had no idea where the guy was, and b) was pretty sure that plan would be a spectacular failure. Instead, he just did his best to sooth his daughter.

He gave her a smile when she apologized for getting his shirt wet and shook his head. "It's fine, Emma," he told her. "No harm done. Just a little water." He stopped at her next question, the words tearing at his heart. Had she really just asked him that? Had his daughter asked him if he was going to kill her? As if he could even imagine doing that after seeing her like this. The thought made him feel sick to his stomach.

"No, Emma," he assured her. "Never. I would never do anything to hurt you. Okay? Yes, I'm a hunter. And sometimes I kill people like you, but only the really bad ones. And I don't even do it that much any more. But sometimes you have to, to protect your family. To survive. You understand that, don't you? But I would never kill you. I swear."

(Reply to this) (Parent)