InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's called a lance. Hello?"

Erik Lehnsherr (wealreadyare) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2012-03-14 02:33:00

Entry tags:

charles xavier, erik lehnsherr

WHO: Charles Xavier & Erik Lehnsherr
WHAT: Charles and Erik play late night chess to try and ignore the fact neither of them can sleep.
WHEN: March 14th; Early Morning Hours
WHERE: X-Mansion Study
RATING: PG
STATUS: In Progress

Erik had heard of the "phantom limb" sensation after the war. It was the feeling that a limb that had been severed was still there, and it was the sort of issue that was compounded by the rather sharp and sudden realization that even though it still felt like it was where it was supposed to be, there was nothing left but a dull aching void that would do none of the things that what you had lost once could. It was that sort of feeling that had been overwhelming Erik when it came to his ability, and it seemed to be the worst at night, just before he went to sleep, and in the morning just after he'd woken up before the knowledge that he was without something which had been a part of him for so long as settled back into his brain.

This was perhaps why it had gotten so difficult for him to fall asleep the last few nights. Even with his sleeping patterns already being rather awful, Erik had found himself laying in bed staring up at the ceiling for far longer each passing night until he'd finally given up this evening, rolling over and dragging his PDA off the nightstand as he pushed himself to his feet and headed down to the pantry to see if food would take his mind off of this. Typing out a text on the way to the one person in the house that he knew would still be awake, Erik couldn't help but be amused by the response that came within seconds of him sending the message off. It looked as though he'd given Charles the respite he'd been waiting for.

Typing out another text, Erik grabbed a few things from the pantry before heading back upstairs and knocking on the door of the study before opening it and flashing Charles a tired smile, "This is becoming a habit, Charles. Sometimes I think we should just admit defeat and move our beds up here."

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bardcore
2012-03-16 08:08 am UTC (link)

Charles certainly felt as though he'd lost a limb or, more accurately, a sense. It was hard to put into words how he felt, but he couldn't help but wonder if this was how someone felt having lost their sight. Or perhaps hearing was better. Because he did feel deaf now, cut off from everything he was used to hearing in his head. He probably could have mused for hours about just how awful it was to have his mind so empty of other people, how lonely it made him feel and how desperately he wished this bout of insanity would end. He could have, but he didn't. Of course, that was mostly because Erik's text provided him with a more than suitable distraction. In all honesty, he wasn't sure he could have made it through this without his friend, and he all but jumped at the chance to spend time with him. For all that Erik had an uncanny ability to firmly plant his foot in his mouth in most situations, he had been terribly understanding during this mess.

He had just set aside the book he had been reading and set up the chessboard when Erik knocked and came in. He greeted the other man's smile with one of his own, weary but undoubtedly fond. "There are worse habits to have," he said gently, "but I can't say I'd be adverse to sleeping with you." He paused, reconsidering his phrasing. Dear lord, no wonder the students talked like they did. "Er...that is...with you around. Honestly...it might help. It's too quiet. I'm not used to it, and being alone just...makes it worse." He stopped again. "Not that I'm suggesting we should...I'm really just confusing myself at this point. Please just forget I said anything. For my sake, if nothing else." He hated this. He felt so disjointed. It wasn't that his ability to formulate coherent sentences hinged on his telepathy, but not having that connection left him at a loss.

"Can we just forget the last minute or so and play chess?" he said quietly, making his way over to the sideboard and pouring himself a generous measure of scotch. He downed it in one go and brought both the bottle two glasses over to where the chess game was set up. "I hate this," he admitted at last, studiously not looking at Erik.

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wealreadyare
2012-04-01 02:38 am UTC (link)

Erik laughed. It wasn't a laugh that could be taken at being at all cruel. It was a soft, fond sound that accompanied a deeply amused and somewhat wistful smile as he tossed Charles one of the packages of chips that he'd grabbed from the pantry before dropping the rest on the nearby table and settling himself in his customary chair. "At least you know how I feel now," He said, a smirk dancing on his lips. "Constantly unsure of the words leaving your mouth much less how they're going to play with the people around you. At least it's a learning experience," Erik said, trying to play it off for the moment, even if he knew exactly what Charles meant when he said that he hated it. It had been a thought which had pretty much consumed him the last week or so, the worry that Charles and Raven were experiencing much more severe a disconnect than he could ever understand, could ever hope to fathom. It had left him very thankful that Charles wasn't capable of hearing his thoughts at the moment since Erik was almost certain that he was screaming it every time the thought ever so much as crossed his mind. And it was exactly what had motivated him to be about as uncensored in his statements as he ever had been, pouring his internal thoughts out to Charles when they needed to be expressed rather than keeping them inside.

Well, most of his thoughts, at least. That one he'd keep to himself. Even so.

"And you don't have to be embarrassed about what you said, Charles. I know how you meant it," Erik said, reaching out and picking up his glass with a smile over at his best friend. "It isn't as though this situation really lends itself to restful sleep. I say, as if we ever actually had decent sleeping patterns to begin with," Erik said, a tinge of amusement in his voice as he poured himself a drink and taking a sip. "So, no, I'm not just going to forget it. I'm going to say that you're welcome to claim my company for anything that you wish. Even if it's just managing to get to sleep without your own thoughts slowly murdering you from the inside out. Besides," Erik said with grin, "it's your move, white knight."

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bardcore
2012-04-01 03:01 am UTC (link)

Charles couldn't help but feel even more flustered as Erik laughed, though he knew the other man wasn't being cruel in his amusement. He caught the bag of chips Erik had tossed, but set it aside. He wasn't terribly hungry, too preoccupied by the quiet in his head to really care much about food. "Pardon my saying so," he groused good-naturedly, "but it's hardly a learning experience I particularly wanted or needed. My telepathy is a part of me, and I just don't feel right without it." He paused, gracing his friend with a smile that was equal parts fond and teasing, "In any case, I am quite certain that no one could manage to stick their foot in their mouth with half so much frequency or skill as you. Honestly, I hardly see the point in competing." Here his smile grew and turned positively cheeky. He rather enjoyed pushing Erik's buttons, to be quite honest, and their verbal sparring (or perhaps snarking was a more appropriate term) helped somewhat in taking his mind off his current predicament.

Erik might have thought he was being subtle, but Charles could tell what he was doing. His friend had never been the most loquacious of individuals, and it was easy to see - for him at least - that Erik was being more open as a means of compensating for his lost telepathy. Rather than being annoyed at the idea that he needed to be coddled, Charles was touched by the way Erik was willing to step outside his comfort zone for him. "I'm glad one of us knows how I meant it," he said with a small smile. "Because I got a bit lost in there. How you lot manage with just your thoughts, I'll never know." He took a drink and ducked his head with a shy smile. "But...thank you. It means a lot, you know...and I absolutely will take advantage of that. It's just...so terribly quiet. I'm not used to it."

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he studied the board. "Very well, black king," he said, resting his hand on the piece in question. After all, with what Erik had said, it only seemed right to start with the knight. Besides, he had always favoured a confident, if not overly aggressive, style of play. He moved the piece and smiled serenely at Erik. "Your move, my liege."

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wealreadyare
2012-04-01 04:20 am UTC (link)

It was always a comfort to Erik whenever Charles's mood seemed to improve solely because of his presence. He hated feeling like he was helpless when it come to Charles's situation, particularly when there was absolutely nothing within his power that he could do to change it, and even if it was just a small thing, it was good to know that he could at least make the situation more bearable than it would be were Charles on his own. "Nobody said it was a competition, my friend," Erik said with a playful grin as he moved a pawn. "But even so, I wouldn't count you completely out just yet. I imagine there's a hundred more embarrassing slip-ups that you haven't made yet," He said with a wink before sitting back in his chair and waiting for Charles to take his turn.

"And we manage because it's the only way that we know," Erik said with a smile and a shrug. "It's a bit maddening sometimes, especially when our thoughts aren't particularly kind to us, like when we fail horribly or find ourselves in positions that we can't change no matter how much we'd like to and spend hours upon hours trying to figure out how we could possibly extract ourselves from a situation even when the only solution we can come up with that could work is... Well. It's not pretty sometimes, is what I'm getting at," Erik said, raising a hand to clear his throat. He'd been trying to be as uncensored as possible with Charles, but there were sometimes, in the midst of just saying every word that entered his mind, that he realized exactly what he was talking about and how little that needed to be shared. There were some things that, even if Charles probably suspected them, were better left not said out loud. "I don't think any of us would consider our minds quiet places, Charles. In fact, there's more than a few times that I wish mine would just shut up so I could get some peace."

Taking a sip of his drink, Erik offered his friend a bit of a smile, "Which, honestly, seems to happen when you're around more often than any other time."

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