With a deep breath, Jack tried to calm himself and keep from throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. Instead he breathed out deeply, blowing his fringe from his face and counted to ten. Twice. "That's not at all what I meant, Ianto and you know it," Jack said, his voice deadly low. "If that's what I meant, I wouldn't be sharing a flat with you and let it be a part-time shag." Another deep breath before Jack's anger got the better of him. "How am I supposed to know what matters until it happens, Ianto?" Jack asked, shaking his head. "It's not like I can see the future and know what's coming to fill you in early. I told you about Michael when it happened. I've told you things when they occur."
Even now, opening his mouth to snap the words back in a sarcastic retort, Jack couldn't form the words to say 'I love you'. It wasn't that he didn't. Much the contrary as Jack truly did love Ianto, enough that it scared him just how deep the feelings ran. But he couldn't say them. Three simple words he tripped over every time he opened his mouth.
Sliding a hand through his hair, Jack finally set the coffee cup aside and stood, moving within arm's length of Ianto. "I've gone through it that way so far," Jack replied softly, "and it's worked out okay." Up until now that is. "I didn't know you needed to hear more," Jack said, resting his elbow on the counter. "I thought as far as we had gotten was enough. I honestly thought you knew how I felt. Why I can't say the words." Jack took a deep breath, reaching for his hand, wondering if Ianto would even let him take it.
"Why should you know more? Because at the end of the day I come home to you. Separate bedrooms be damned."