InsaneJournal

WHO: Alaric Saltzman, Damon Salvatore, John Gilbert, and Parker
WHAT: Stealing the evidence room at the police station. Yes, you read that right.
WHEN: [Backdated] Yesterday evening
WHERE: Police Plaza
RATING: TBD
STATUS: Log; To Be Completed In Comments
NOTES: Any police officers working in the city can feel free to notice/comment on the evidence room now being devoid of everything except for a plain white business card, sitting in the middle of the floor, with the words 'too easy' written on it.

It was odd how easy it was getting a hold of a uniform, and John had decided it was best not to ask when Damon presented it to him. It was a simple enough plan that all really hinged on timing and skilled, each thing varying depending upon the role that they had to play. John adjusted the badge that now rested over his heart, he turned towards his two collars and quirked a grin at them as he grasped both sets of cuffs that Parker had had a little too much fun strapping Damon and Ric into. “You two dirtbags better not make any trouble,” John gruffed in their ear, not even attempting to hide his amusement at the situation.

“Cops don’t really talk like that,” Damon drawled, trying hard not to roll his eyes and restrain his urge to rip John’s throat out as the elder Gilbert choked up on the cuffs and pushed his shoulders into an uncomfortable position in their sockets. “Fine, fine. Shutting up now. Stop trying to break my arms.”

“If you’re going to make a habit of talking back, I’m going to have to do something to shut you up,” John said, scowling at the back of Damon’s head.

“Stop, just stop,” Ric said, trying to keep a straight face and not laugh at the absurdity of the situation around him. “This is real life, not some weird prison porno. Real police officers don’t actually say things like that.” He was far too amused by this whole thing. When he’d suggested stealing things to improve Parker’s mood, he hadn’t anticipated they would be stealing the police evidence room. But that was Parker for you, and he had to admit the idea of working with this particular group was appealing on many levels.

“Just...stop making us laugh or we’re going to blow this and Parker will make that face she makes,” he said. “You know the one.”

“All right. No cheesy dialogue,” John said, more amused by Damon’s apparent annoyance at the fact that Ric found this whole situation, including the fact that John was attempting to dislocate his shoulder, amusing than anything else. Ric was right, though. If he said anything that might at all seem off, he’d probably break his cover. The Colligo police weren’t exactly the keenest individuals when it came to picking up on clues, but they would probably still be able to call him out if he made a great mess of it. “Especially as I have absolutely no desire to see her make that face or take you guys to the showers.”

Damon scoffed, “I really could have done without that mental image, thank you.”

“Thank you very much, John,” Ric said politely, before schooling himself back into the persona of a somewhat belligerent arrestee. The sooner they got done with this part and on to a bit where he could be useful, the better. Maybe it was Parker’s influence, but it felt unnatural to have not slipped out of the cuffs yet and he was feeling twitchy and fidgety. He’d have to talk to her about that later. “I should hope you don’t,” he said to the last bit. “Jenna would be very unhappy with you. And then Parker would murder you, because she not-so-secretly likes Jenna better than us.”

He proceeded to roll his eyes at Damon. “Suck it up and deal, Salvatore,” he said cheerfully. “This is going to be fun.”

“All right, boys,” John said with a chuckle, “Show time.”

Grasping their cuffs, John lead them out of the alley that they’d been sheltered in since Parker had slipped into the duct system, leading the pair of them towards the front of the station and inclining his head towards one of the other officers that offered him a glance. The door was grabbed by someone as he entered and pulled Ric and Damon over to the booking counter. “Two new intakes for you,” He said, “caught these two trying to trying to take a piss on the side of Town Hall. Few hours in the holding cells should help dry them out.”

The women behind the desk looked up and sighed, “More drunk and disorderlies, then? And public urination. I suppose that’s better than someone blowing up another building. Take’em in the back.”

Parker had been hanging out in the duct work that ran throughout the building. She had spent a few seconds inside the vent entrance she’d used in the alley, simply listening to John, Ric, and Damon squabbling amongst themselves. When it seemed like they were finally going to get the show on the road, she made her way silently through the ducts until she was neatly positioned over top of the booking desk.

Busying herself with checking her text messages while she waited for the boys to reach their mark, Parker perked up a bit at the sound of her cue. Once more she was on the move, expertly avoiding any areas that might cause the ceiling to creak or shift, and eventually reached her ultimate destination. Namely, the one lone vent in the holding cell area.

Quickly pushing the vent out, she slowly lowered herself out of the hole head first with the vent still in her grasp. Essentially using her lower legs and knees to keep her balance as she dangled upside down for a few seconds, she did a fast once-over to make sure no one else was present. Lucky happened to be on their side, although Parker really hadn’t been all that worried. Most of the local cops tended to avoid non-locals when they were on lockdown. She supposed it probably had something to do with a non-locals ability to essentially turn a local off with nothing more than a question. However Parker frankly didn’t care why the local cops avoided them if possible. She simply took advantage of that fact.

Once assured there was no one present besides the people she’d expected to be there, Parker continued her escape from the vent. A quick headstand that turned into an even faster backbend and finally she was upright. Somehow she had held onto the vent cover and immediately tossed it onto a nearby cot before looking at the crew she’d assembled.

“So,” she questioned as she made her way through the cell, to the locked door. Sliding her arms through the bars, she made fast work of the lock then pushed open the gate. With a mischievous grin she finished with, “Who wants to steal a police station evidence room?”

It was a lengthy process, booking, what with finger prints and mugshots, and John looked smug the entire time that Damon and Ric were marched through all of the aspects of being properly arrested while Damon looked as though he was about to murder someone, namely John. By the time that they managed to get everything done, they arrived at the holding cell just in time to see Parker drop elegantly inside it. Damon couldn’t help but beam at Parker as she so easily popped open the gate and jerked away from the hold that John had on the cuffs still affixed to his wrists.

“Me, right here,” Damon said as he turned towards her, extending his bound wrists with a little pout. “Help?”

John nodded to Parker, “How long exactly do you think I’m going to have to keep them occupied?”

Ric made a mental note to swipe his and Damon’s mugshots for the mantle back home. Most families had photographs, but he, Damon, Jenna and Elena had mugshots. He didn’t even think about the fact that he had just referred to the other three as family, even if it was just in his mind. He played the part of a harmless drunk with the ease that came with a lot of experience drinking. As Parker joined them in the holding cell, Ric slipped out of his cuffs even more easily than he had the night before, clearly more adept at the act when sober and not recently beaten up. Then he rolled his eyes at Damon and took care of the lock on his handcuffs so Parker wouldn’t have to.

“You really need to work on that,” he told the vampire, though his tone was more gentle teasing than actual mockery. He shot Parker a grin, more excited than he’d felt in a long time at the prospect of a good con job. “And I am more than ready to steal an evidence room. Let’s get to it.”

Grinning merrily at Damon’s pout, Parker leaned against the bars and waited for Ric to take care of it. At John’s question, however, she cut her gaze to him with that same grin still plastered on her face. Clearly, she was in her element at the moment and the confidence about her more than showed it.

“The shift change takes thirty-four seconds, on average. That’s our way in. After that, we’ve got three minutes and forty-five seconds before the new guard on duty does his rounds. If we’re not out by the time he starts to leave his desk, that’s your cue.” Rolling away from the bars and turning on her heel, she made her way out of the cell and to the desk in the far corner of the room. Crouching down, she reached underneath the desk. There was a bit of rooting and the definite sound of tape being pulled away, then Parker glanced over her shoulder at John.

“Worst case, you’re stalling for maybe two minutes. Three, tops.” Standing back up, she held out the three identification cards that she’d had hidden inside the very building they were going to be used. “If somebody slips past you,” she nodded at John before holding out one identification card for Ric and one for Damon, “this should buy us a little time.” Clipping her badge to her shirt, she suddenly jerked her gaze to Damon with a stern look.

“And no doing your weird mind mojo braaaaaains thingy unless things get dicey. That’s cheating,” she stated firmly. Then her smile returned, full force, as she pulled a small felt bag out of her pocket. “Okay. Earpiece time. One for you,” she handed one to John. “And you.” Another went to Ric. Then she turned to Damon.

“And a specially made one courtesy of Cas, just for you!” she said perkily, tossing it to him before sliding her own earpiece into place. “Okay! Let’s go tick off the local law enforcement, guys!”

John nodded in understanding as he took the ear piece and slipped it in, running possible stalling tactics through his mind as he broke away from the other three and headed back towards the front of the station in order to keep an eye on his target. At least he’d spotted an empty desk as he came in that would provide him the perfect vantage for such a task.

Placing his own earpiece in and making a face at Parker’s idea of cheating, Damon rubbed his wrist and nodded for Ric and Parker to lead the way. He had better hearing so it was better if he kept up the rear and listened for anything that might happen upon them during the journey there. After all, what better way to follow Parker’s rule than to keep the situation from getting dicey to begin with?

Getting from the holding cells to the evidence room was a simple matter of navigating a short corridor, turning left at the end, then down another corridor that led directly to where they were heading. Just as Parker had predicted - or, rather, had noticed during the time she’d spent scoping out the place - the shift change was underway and therefore no one paid them much mind.

It was a funny thing, Parker decided as she motioned for Ric and Damon to follow her into a supply closet located directly beside the evidence room, the way cops were only observant when they were either on a call or in an interrogation. When it came to the beginning of their work day or the end of it, however, their blinders were on just as much as the rest of the world’s. Too busy thinking about what they’d do when they were off duty or how much they wished they still were, she supposed, then decided it really didn’t matter. The day Parker started to understand the way cops worked was the day she gave up her trade for good.

With the door to the supply closet cracked, she was able to just make out the door to the evidence room and waited for the timer on her watch to sound as she eyed the area closely. A few seconds later her watch beeped softly and, sure enough, the door to the evidence room opened and two men stepped out.

“Have a good one, man,” the officer getting off duty said as he clapped his relief on the shoulder. “I’m heading straight for the bar. The fight starts in twenty.”

“Don’t remind me,” the other officer, the one coming on duty, groused as he locked the door then began to follow the other man down the hallway, continuing to talk about how he’d tried his best to get the night off. As soon as they were out of sight, Parker stepped out of the supply closet and made quick work with picking the lock on the evidence room door.

By the time her watch beeped for a second time - this time to warn her that their thirty seconds before the officer returned had started - she’d managed to usher Ric and Damon into the room and shut, then lock, the door behind them. “Damon,” she said without even breaking her stride as she leapt over the desk and approached the caged area where the goods were kept, “keep lookout for any goodie-goodie cop trying to drop off evidence early. John, the guard’s on his way out now. Tall, brown hair, scar under his right eye. Speak up if you don’t have visual.”

There was a brief pause as Parker began working at the lock to the cage before she added, “Ric. Travel-sized toolbox, top desk drawer. I need the screwdriver. Stat.” Growling in mild frustration as the lock refused to budge, she held out her hand for the tool she’d requested, heart hammering wildly in her chest and adrenaline flowing.

Her watch beeped again. Fifteen seconds.

Hiding in a cramped storage closet with Parker and Damon was more than a little uncomfortable but, in spite of a brief moment of anxiety, Ric mostly brushed it off. He had been in worse situations. When they finally got the opportunity to move into the Evidence room, he felt relief as well as a rush of adrenaline and excitement. It was strange to think that this sort of thing was fairly new for him, that he hadn’t ever done something like this before meeting Parker, because it seemed so normal now. But normal wasn’t really the word for running cons and stealing police evidence rooms. In fact, it was pretty much the polar opposite of normal. Still, it was fun, and that’s what counted.

When Parker asked for a screwdriver, her opened the drawer in question and pulled out the toolbox. Fishing through it to find the requested tool was the work of a moment and he quickly pressed it into her hand. Somehow the time limit made this so much more interesting. “Need me to do anything?” he asked.

"Got him," John said as he caught sight of the man who had been described coming back into the main area of the station. The frustrations that were coming to him from the other side of the earpiece, however, marked that none of them were ready to have someone else suddenly show up and surprise them so he pushed himself up from the desk and slide in between the guy on the next shift and the hall. "Where's that file that I asked you for?" John demanded, looking utterly irrate as the local cop blinked at him in confusion before offering up a quiet stammering statement.

"E-excuse me?"

"The Dunbar file. I asked you for it two hours ago, and," John said, motioning in a flurish to the generally empty desk that he'd been sitting at, "I don't see it on my desk."

There had always been a statement that John had lived by in a lot of situation that he'd been placed in over the years. If he acted like he owned the place, very few people questioned it, and from the utterly baffled and yet chastised look on the young beat cop's features, John couldn't help but feel relieved that apparently it worked in this situation as well.

"Well?" John demanded, arching an eyebrow at the local, basically pushing him all the way back to his own desk with his gaze, the younger officer bending over his desk and sort through the various files that were on top of it. "Don't tell me that you forgot."

"I must've, sir," He said with a quiet regret. "I'll go and get it now, all right? Just...wait here. It shouldn't take me more than a few minutes," He said before dashing off to the file room on the opposite end of the building.

"That's bought you some time," John mumbled just loud enough to know that the others could hear him. "But unless there happens to be someone in this city named Dunbar with a criminal record, he'll eventually figure out there isn't any file."

"And we've got incoming," Damon said as he grabbed Alaric and pulled him away from the desk and organized both him and Ric to block sight of Parker as he reached out with his hearing. Someone must have gotten past John while he was occupied with the other man. It would have given him plenty of opportunity not to be noticed. Damon could just hope that it was someone that wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, or he'd be getting yelled at for cheating. As the blond officer turned the corner, Damon raised a hand and waved. Maybe if they just acted like they were supposed to be there.

Parker just shook her head at Ric’s question, the frown on her face increasing as John started yapping in her ear. It wasn’t his fault. He was doing what he was supposed to do. But the lock was not opening like it should and therefore she was getting frustrated.

“Screw this,” she growled as she surged to her feet. With a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure Ric and Damon were blocking her view, she hissed out, “Damon, cheat. Ric, help. John...” She grinned faintly. “Awesome stalling. Just hang tight. We’ll be out in a few.”

Then she motioned toward the cage, grabbing ahold of Ric’s arm to haul him closer as soon as he was within reach. “The lock’s got a back-up they must’ve just installed. I need two extra hands.” She nodded at the lock that had the screwdriver still sticking out of it. “Works the same as the locks on the chains I gave you for Christmas. Get busy.” Then she pulled a bobbypin from her pocket, bent it straight with a flick of her teeth, and dropped into a crouch again. “I’ll take care of its twin.”

Ric was away from Damon and at Parker’s side, the instant she asked for help. Damon could handle whoever was outside the room, and the lock wasn’t going to undo itself. Besides, if Parker was asking for help with a lock, she must genuinely need it. He hadn’t seen much the blonde couldn’t do with locks. But he guessed it would be harder to quickly pick two separate locks at the same time, even for someone as awesome as Parker.

For a moment he looked between the screwdriver and Parker, worried he would screw this up, but then he immediately got to work on the lock, leaving Parker to take care of the back-up. He remembered what she had taught him with the other locks, working on opening this one. Between the two of them, it was fairly simple work, and both locks were dealt with in a speedy fashion. Once they were done, Ric grinned at Parker. Between her and Damon, his moral compass was probably completely screwed, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

But the door was unlocked, and that’s what mattered. He just hoped Damon and John were doing as well.

"Oy, you're not supposed to be back here," The blond cop called out as he advanced towards them, undeterred by Damon's insistence on acting as though he did. But getting the signal that he could cheat, he didn't waste a moment advancing on the other man, still smiling as though nothing at all was wrong, and clapping a hand down on his shoulder. "Where's Martin? He's supposed to be on duty this shift."

"Just a little held up. We're keeping an eye on things for him," Damon said, looking intently at the man on front of him. "Why don't you let me take care of that for you, champ?" Damon asked, his stare intent as he reached up and plucked thee package from the young cop's hand without so much as a single protest from him. Damon just smiled as he nodded dully and looked up at Damon with something that almost amounted to thanks in his eyes. "Oh, and don't tell anyone else we're back here. Don't want to trouble anyone else with something we can deal with. That's a good man," He said, clapping the officer on the back and basically shoving him back towards the main area of the station.

There wasn't a single protest from the officer as he glanced over his shoulder at them one last time before walking back in the direction he'd been shoved. Damon grinned, turning back to face Parker and Ric, "See. Only a little cheating."