InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Welcome to my filthy mind."

lucy saxon isn't as dumb as she seems to be (neverthatbright) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-04-27 16:36:00

Entry tags:

lucy saxon, the master

WHO: Lucy Saxon and The Master
WHAT: A snapshot of domesticity. Be afraid, people. Be very afraid.
WHEN: Today; afternoon
WHERE: Their flat
RATING: TBD
STATUS: In Progress

Although Lucy enjoyed working again, enjoyed feeling as though she had some sort of purpose other than simply being the wife of the Master, she did very much enjoy her days off. The good thing about her job - well, one of the good things as Lucy did truly enjoy what she did for a living - was that she could often take days off during the week provided she was ahead in her reading of whatever manuscript she'd been assigned and had all of her paperwork caught up. Considering in the first few days after her memories had returned she had spent as much time as possible in her office rather than at home with a man she suddenly found herself despising as much as she loved him, she certainly was ahead of the curve compared to the rest of her employees. So it was quite easy for her to decide to take part of the week off, knowing she wouldn't fall very far behind.

The first day she had travelled out of the city with others of her reality. The experience had been an interesting one but had also made Lucy yearn for the days when she'd travelled with Harry. Yes, those trips hadn't exactly worked out wonderfully for her psyche but she had enjoyed the time alone with him, getting to know the most brilliant, passionate man she'd ever met. The second day she'd had to run into the office for the afternoon and had wound up stuck there a bit later than normal. She had spoken with Rose via text on her way home, not quite sure why she was seeking out the girl that was involved with the Doctor besides the hope that perhaps she wouldn't be judged too harshly over a connection to a madman that she couldn't explain.

Today marked the third, and final, day off for her and Lucy had spent most of the morning lounging about. She had flipped through a few pages of a new book she'd picked up, answered a few texts and glanced at the network, but for the most part she had simply enjoyed relaxing. It was nice, in a terribly domestic sort of way, but Lucy found herself worrying more and more that her husband was going to get quite tired of the whole mess. Yes he had his TARDIS but he wasn't the sort meant to stay still for very long and she couldn't help but wonder when he might grow tired of the picture of a happy home and do something to shake things up again.

She was also ashamed to admit that, as much as she enjoyed the calm, she was looking forward to whatever mad thing he might come up with. For the moment, however, she was going to take advantage of the lack of chaos and hopefully figure out exactly where she stood with her husband now that her memories had returned fully. Which would be much easier to determine if she actually told him her memories had returned... assuming he hadn't already figured it out for himself.

Having wandered into the bedroom to put up her book and the paperwork she'd needed to go over and sign, Lucy came back out in search of the man in question. She was nervous that the conversation, if she even worked up the nerve to have it that is, wasn't going to go well. The thought made her heart ache. It was wrong on so very many levels but she really did love him. She just wasn't certain anymore that love was enough and knew the time had come to find out the answer, once and for all. Watching him for a few moments longer, she finally decided to start out slow and see where the conversation went.

"Busy?" she questioned quietly, a hesitant curiosity in her tone.

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cantyouhearit
2011-05-01 03:11 am UTC (link)

Since the Doctor had been sent back, the Master had had a great many adjustments to make. He'd been taking a lot of solace from his old friend, perhaps more than he should have been, over the unusual circumstance that they had found themselves in. Living as a listless drunk had hardly been healthy or productive, and without that support, the Master hadn't been entirely sure exactly what to do with himself. So he'd decided to focus on the household. There wasn't a job in the city that anyone would hire him for, not after the incident with the Toclafane, and quite frankly, there wasn't any job that he figured he could do without ending up painfully and utterly bored. Matters of the domestic weren't really any different, but the reward for them was substantially more appealing.

While his and Lucy's relationship had never been a healthy one in the strictest sense of the word, the Master couldn't deny that he did love her in his own way. It was a way that had changed, varied, depending upon his mental as well as physical state. While being a human had been confining to the point of madness, there had also been a certain...calm about it. Without the drums, without the constant beat in the back of his head to summon him to violence, he was able to focus on tasks that didn't demand it. And while the alcohol had been helpful to block out the sudden limitations on his scope, other activities had helped to center his being and occupy his time.

Now, he needed the alcohol less and his being was centered more. The brightness had come back to the universe, but the same desires hadn't returned with it. Not as full force as they might have been, and however long this lasted, he wasn't going to complain about it. Well, not too much.

Looking up for the position that he'd taken in the kitchen, the Master smiled at Lucy, a smile that he'd invented for the persona of Harold Saxon but he become to be far more natural as the time here had worn on, "Not particularly," He said with a chuckle as he tossed the dishrag that he'd been wiping the counters down with over his shoulder. "Is something the matter?" Because even Lucy, his properly polite Lucy, wasn't usually this meek. Not at home.

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neverthatbright
2011-05-01 04:08 am UTC (link)

The problem with being with the Master - and it was something Lucy had accepted long ago - was that you never knew what to expect next. Things changed, morphed, shifted from one moment to another and it was all but impossible to guess at what was to come. For now, things were calm, but experience told her that wouldn't last long. And she needed to know, needed to be certain, that this time he wasn't going to turn on her.

She made her way into the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the stools alongside the bar. She found herself resisting the urge to bite on her lower lip, instead giving a slow shake of her head. "Not the matter, no," she said as she rested her hands on the table, fingers still intertwined, and cut her gaze over to him. Her blue eyes were wide and shining with hesitant affection. It was clear she wasn't quite sure how to hold herself, what to say. She opened her mouth, hesitated, then tried again.

"I've remembered some things," she began. "I... know I'm not supposed to talk of what's to come but..." Her brow furrowed. She was never sure how to handle these sorts of things. It was impossible to know what the Master was and wasn't aware of when it came to his own future. Lucy didn't want to cause some sort of situation but was fairly certain simply telling him wouldn't. Not here, at least.

Yet she didn't continue but instead fell silent, waiting to see what he had to say. Maybe he wouldn't want to know. Maybe he'd rather not hear about her killing herself to try and stop him from returning. That sort of mindset wouldn't help her figure out where she stood with him, of course, but it would certainly make this conversation take a much different course.

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cantyouhearit
2011-05-01 08:06 pm UTC (link)

"Ah. I see," The Master said, his mind sort of tuning out as soon as the words 'I've remembered some things' passed his wife's lips. One of the things that had made this transition so simple was the fact that Lucy hadn't remembered anything. She'd barely recognized him after being revived from her death via the Toclafane, and after that, she only knew whatever he'd deemed to tell her. And he had been sure to leave out the part about him being an abusive, homicidal maniac with control and trust issues especially as that hardly seemed relevant when he wasn't going to such a major issue when he was human. But if she was remembering things now, she had all of those blanks filled in for her. And how she handled that information would probably spell out how this went from here.

At least her avoiding him lately made some sense now.

"I suppose I probably have a good deal to answer for, then," He said, his features screwed up to be as unreadable as he could manage when he felt as though what little grounding he had left was being pulled violently out from under him. "Depending upon what you've remembered."

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neverthatbright
2011-05-06 03:03 am UTC (link)

Lucy's features were carefully blank but still there was a flicker of something as she stared at her husband for a long moment before speaking. "It's..." She trailed off, hesitating at what word to use to best describe what she was feeling. Troubling. Heartbreaking. Difficult.

"Confusing," she finally finished, folding and unfolding her hands, moving them to her lap while meeting his gaze with a hesitant look of hope shining in her brilliant blue yes. "I know things turned bad for us, back home, but that hasn't been the case here."

Here, things had been nice. He had been nice. Maybe not all of the time but no one was perfect. And although Lucy wasn't sure why it was different here, she knew she liked it far more than she had back home. But she was hesitant to admit such a thing, worried that what they had would unravel now that he wasn't having to pretend to ignore the truth about himself that he'd gone to such lengths to keep from her.

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cantyouhearit
2011-05-06 03:15 am UTC (link)

She didn't look angry. That was a better start than he could have hoped for as he leveled his gaze at her to try and catch whatever might have been going through her mind at the moment. Lucy could be inscrutable when she wanted to be. It had been both and strength and weakness to her during their marriage because as well as it had allowed her to mask herself from others, it had prompted more than enough paranoia from him to put her in a horrible position. Even if it wasn't paranoia that he was feeling now so much as well deserved anxiety, he still wished her features would give him something more to go on.

"It's quieter here," The Master managed after a moment as he peered over at her. "Plus there's no real point to anything that I would do," He said, furrowing his brow heavily. "Or any reason to doubt you like I did before."

Lucy had proven herself several times over here, after all, and even after she had had no clue who he was, she had stayed by his side. She hadn't had any reason to before. She was independent and brilliant in her own right and her own way. If anything, here, he was a burden on her. And as much as that thought prompted his baser feelings to push her back into her 'place', it was easier to shake those thoughts off here than they had been back on the Valiant.

"But it's up to you," He said, looking over at her. "You have every right to hate me."

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neverthatbright
2011-05-06 04:22 am UTC (link)

That was the problem, wasn't it? She did hate him. However she didn't just hate him. She also loved him. And unlike her hatred, which was spawned from his treatment of her in their own reality, the love she felt for him had only been strengthened by his behaviour toward her in this one. He hadn't done a thing harmful or hurtful, really, and the things that had happened to her here she could scarcely hold him solely accountable.

Really, though, none of that mattered. How she felt, what she felt, it all seemed secondary as something he said managed to take the bulk of her attention. The words rolled over again and again inside her mind, their full meaning saying far more to her than any assurances or reasons he could have for acting the way he had lately.

It's quieter here.

Lucy knew what he truly meant, understood what he'd been saying without actually saying it in so many words. She thought about them, finally swallowing hard and forcing herself to draw in a calming breath before re-focusing on the Master. "I don't want to go back home," she admitted quietly. "I know what waits for me there and it frightens me."

She paused, hesitating before admitting, "And I like what we have here. I don't want it to change or end." Her stomach did a flipflop as she said the words, feeling in a way as though she was all but sealing her fate yet again. However she couldn't help it. She loved him, above all else, and she couldn't - wouldn't - just walk away.

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cantyouhearit
2011-05-06 10:12 pm UTC (link)

"I don't want to go back home, either," The Master said quietly as his mind rolled over to the things that he'd seen not long after he'd first arrived here for the second time. They hadn't been things that his mind had dwelt too long on. Everything that had been in that video were things which had yet to happen to either him or Lucy and hadn't been of much consequence while they were here. But thinking about going back home, the knowledge gripped him like a vice, true fear churning in his gut as he stepped forward and touched a hand to her cheek. He allowed it to linger there for a moment before he pulled her into a loose embrace.

All that awaited them at home was death. Hers quick and ultimately fruitless while his was slow, painful, and while it would result in him being able to finally getting revenge for the life that he had been forced to live, there was no way he could think of which would allow him to come back from falling into a time lock and burning with the rest of Gallifrey.

"And even if we have to eventually," The Master said, "in order to keep the timeline in place... There really shouldn't be a rush. I know I have no urge to barrel headlong into death." Even if it meant the Doctor survived.

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