InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Ew, David!"

Sirius O. Black (pad_foot) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-01-25 21:35:00

Entry tags:

morgana, sirius black

Who: Sirius and Morgana
What: A welcome back visit, and girly chats. And probably a lot of inneundo.
Where: Morgana's apartment.
When: Afternoon, Jan 25th.
Rating: TBD. But highish for language.
Status: Incomplete.

"Oh, fucking wank!" Sirius swore, hopping onto one leg and rubbing his suddenly bruised shin. It was probably a good thing Mordred wasn't in as the young wizard swore a blue streak about his misguided apparition, frowning to himself as he tentatively brought his foot down and looked about him. "Morgana!" he called, "You moved the coffee table! I fucking landed right on top of it!"

That was the problem with apparating straight into someone's homes. As soon as any piece of furniture got moved an inch there was risk of bruised shins and broken chairs. Thankfully Sirius had just knocked himself this time, although from the sound of it he might as well have taken a limb off. Recovered enough to walk, Sirius strode to stick his head into the kitchen, peering around the doorframe hopefully. He'd meant to come earlier, felt guilty about not having made it. But there had been Regulus and Remus... Anyway, he was was here now, and filled with restless anticipation at the thought of seeing Morgana again, making him jump from one foot to the other as he stepped over the threshold to look around the kitchen properly.

"Morgana?" He tried again. "Helloooo?" Then there was a movement from the other room, and Sirius was bounding back into the sitting room with the energy of a badly-trained puppy. He scrambled over the floor, threw his arms around the dark haired woman and all but lifted her off her feet in a bear hug. A grin cracked his features as he spoke into her ear. "Alright sexpot?"

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future_seer
2011-01-25 11:19 pm UTC (link)

Morgana would lie to herself and say that she wasn't disappointed that Sirius hadn't come to visit her. Rose had returned and Regulus had returned - and Morgana had hoped for the latter that it meant to Sirius was spending time with his brother as they had seemed to be getting on before she died, more or less, and wanted the two stubborn idiots to get on as she cared for them both and they were family - so she hadn't expected an instant visit. Just the one would have been nice. Or a phone call. Or something, other than acknowledgment of her arrival. Then she had heard from Merlin or Regulus or Mordred that Remus had returned yesterday or perhaps a few days before. It was difficult, at times, to keep track of who said what with the constant flow of information that everyone ensured she had so that she didn't feel left out and at times it was difficult to keep track of when things happened (despite her almost fervent, constant, measurement of time passed). Either way, by then, she had decided that Sirius would come when he wanted to come. As Sirius tended to. And Morgana had brushed away the disappointment and the slight hurt and had gone about her day.

Which was something that she had become very good at - so they said - in the past 'little more than a week'. She was doing that now, with one of the audiobooks Merlin had gotten for her and the headphones Arthur had 'not so causally' left on her living room table. Morgana knew that it was Arthur because he'd never been as subtle as he liked to think (the gap between reality and his self-actualization of the fact was atrociously large) and was still rather awkward about a lot of things. Though he was getting better at being thoughtful as proven by the headphones she was currently using. Headphones Morgana suspected that had been his own idea too.

She had been just finished listening to the last page - last page as she'd actually read the particularly book at least nine times - when Sirius had apparated to her flat. She missed his cursing and his being generally Sirius in pain. Which is just basically Sirius, louder. And with more cursing. And enough sound that would have given Morgana heart attack from being startled.

She was just closing her dresser, after removing the headphones, when she heard him bounding about and calling her name. It took her about a very short and very few seconds to place who it was, and she was rolling her eyes. Smiling, despite herself.

Morgana didn't have much of a chance to react before he was as-good-as picking her up. She let out a startled huff of a laugh, returning the hug before poking him sharply, bony fingers and long nails pressing hard into his shoulder. "No, I'm being crushed."She sniffed, but there was a tiny smile lingering across her lips.

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pad_foot
2011-01-25 11:45 pm UTC (link)

"Ow," Sirius grumbled as long digits pressed into his shoulder, not quite ready to put her down yet. "Did they replace your fingers with knives when you were gone?" He hugged her tighter for a moment, reluctant to let go. Out of everyone he'd come to know here, Morgana was one of the ones he'd grown closest too, which was odd considering the conflicted start to their relationship. He loved her, as much as he had loved people back home. People he'd lost to another war. But she was back. He'd known she was back for days but it was different seeing her now, touching her and knowing she was solid and real again, damaged but still Morgana.

"I missed you," he mumbled into her shoulder. "What did I say about not charging off and being all recklessly attractive? This is why you should always listen to me. I am very wise." Sirius forced himself to let her go, long fingers curling gently around her upper arms as he ducked to look into a pair of sightless eyes. How was it he had managed to come back to life as his usual (awesome) self, whereas this time the prices had been so steep? Memories, magic, sight... It hardly seemed fair. If anything, it made him feel guilty.

"Shit," he managed, still staring into those eyes and half expecting to see some flicker of recognition within them as she looked back. But there was nothing. They stared staight through him, off into some imagined horizon. Something lurched uncomfortably in Sirius' stomach,and for a moment his grip tightened, as if he hoped to drag her back to them. "How are you?"

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future_seer
2011-01-26 12:15 am UTC (link)

Her grin was wide and impish, before her features easily molded themselves into an expression filled with mock sympathy - a slight pout as the cherry on top. "My fingers have always been sharp." She reminded him sweetly. That would be rather curious. That she'd never poked or prodded or pinched Sirius. Morgana was sure that she had at one time. She's certain that he'd done something to deserve it; however, she didn't think upon that for very long. Rather she focused upon the part that he was there. Because she was very happy to 'see' him, even though it'd taken him more than a week to get around to it.

It didn't hurt that his words had her melting just a little bit, any mischievous, malicious, teasing all but gone as she lifted a hand and weaved her fingers slightly through the ends of his hair; offering as much comfort as she could. Morgana could hold a grudge like nobodies business and most knew just how nasty she could be. But when it came to those she loved and care for? She almost always caved - unless she managed to shut everything out and even then it was hard. It was why she had so much difficulty hating Merlin after she found out what he'd done to her future-self. Even when she should be mad or hurt or disappoint she just ... couldn't. Uther and the moment they shared at her father's grave was a prime example of Morgana's ability to forgive those she loved near anything. Yes, she was hurt that it'd taken him a week. Yes, she was confused and disappointed. Irritated at him and herself for letting it affect her so much. Yes, she was hugging him for all she was worth because Morgana knew that those three words weren't the easiest for Sirius. They definitely went straight to her heart.

"I can't say that I remember, I tend not to listen to you." Her tone light, distracting. "As you tend to blather on about a load of garbage." Morgana pointed out, brow arch. "Most of it hypocritical. Or need I remind you about your own death?" Oh, yes, she would bring that back whenever he held her death against her. Because while Morgana would forgive those she cared about near anything, she didn't forgive death very easily. Sirius had died. And there were moments that still hurt. Just as Gwen's death most definitely did. However, unlike Gwen, Sirius didn't have the benefit of being her best friend. It was a known fact that Gwen received an unfair bias. So, where Gwen's death didn't get a mention, Sirius still was glared at over his - and would be, especially, if, whenever, he brought hers up.

When he pulled away from her, hands still on her arm, Morgana knew what he was doing. She tried not to duck her head and focused an attempting to act natural. Not close her eyes or stare back with sightless eyes in a defiant way. She just stood there, calmly, and allowed him to look his fill.

"I'm - " She hesitated because he would know she was lying. He was one of the few he was very good at being able to tell. It was a wonder why Morgana had befriended him knowing that as she could not stand when people could tell. "Adjusting. I'm adjusting." And that was the most honest answer that she could give him that wasn't maudlin, angry, frustrated, tearful or tired.

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pad_foot
2011-01-28 01:39 am UTC (link)

“I still dunno what all the fuss was about,” Sirius grinned into her hair. “I came back, didn’t I? Anyway, we’re one for one now. Even Stevens, as the wise men say.” He was just happy she was back, that he had her. He’d been so on edge these last few weeks, teetering on the brink of something that was terrifying and yet thrilling abd intriguing. But now they were all back. Rose didn’t know him, but that was okay because she was healthy and safe. Remus was shaken, but Sirius had stayed awake and felt the other boys heartbeat against his own all last night. Regulus was… well. Regulus was around. And now he’d seen Morgana and she was smiling and teasing and holding onto him even though she was damaged. And he felt like he could finally relax. Finally step away from the fascinating, self-destructive ledge this place had pushed him onto.

Not that it wasn’t odd, watching her looking at him but not seeing him. He’d always loved Morgana’s eyes – they had always been so alert, so sharp, catching every one of his movements and calling him out the moment he did anything too mental. And although at times it had been infuriating, he found he missed it now, as she gazed off past him. Sirius felt a little uncomfortable suddenly, knowing her reply was careful and deliberate. It was exactly the kind of thing he would have said. Although, now he thought about it, he’d probably have made a joke.

“Well, at least you can’t catch me staring at your arse now,” he smiled, hand slipping down to knot through hers, “Shall we move this onto the sofa?” Sirius tugged on her hand, pulling her behind him, trying to steer clear of the furniture without appearing to lead her, which was hard. He knew if it had been him he’d hate having to have people help with everything while he got used to it, would have felt completely useless and frustrated. And Morgana and Sirius were alarmingly alike sometimes.

“So I met Gail,” he announced to her, bouncing a little on the seat beside her to try and get comfy, eventually curling his legs beneath him and pushing a cushion onto the floor to make more room. “I must say, we both did pretty well in the Godchild lottery.”

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future_seer
2011-01-28 02:54 am UTC (link)

"I believe the fuss is about the fact that you actually died in the first place." Morgana retorted. Although, she didn't say the words, it was clear by the look on her face that she was considering calling him out on his hypocrisy. After all, she had came back hadn't she?

Morgana lightly squeezed his fingers when he knotted theirs together and provided Sirius with a fond smile. An expression that would have completely contradicted with her mockingly incredulous tone if not for the hint of amusement. "I needn't look at you Sirius to know that you're staring at my ass. You're not exactly subtle about it." Then she smirked slightly, "It's the intense, manly stare of yours. I can just feel it on me." Morgana didn't need her nails to poke sharply and harass someone. Her catty teasing could do it just fine.

Her good humor diminished slightly when he began maneuvering her, she gave him credit for attempted subtlety, toward the couch. "The sofa sounds fine." With a quick few steps she managed to walk side by side with him. More or less. It was difficult to keep up but she managed to figure out where he was going, as she'd walked from her room to the sofa, and thus she could anticipate the steps. His holding onto her hand helped as well but Morgana had to allow him to guide her more than she would have liked so not to trip either of them up. She didn't say anything on that.

The mention of her goddaughter returned her smile, one that was soft and bittersweet. Morgana tucked a leg under her as she sat next to him. "Isn't she absolutely precious? I don't know ... It might be just me but I think that mine might have yours beat in the simply adorable department."

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pad_foot
2011-01-28 02:22 pm UTC (link)

"Okay." Sirius' gaze fell down to stare at Morgana's chest, a sly smirk coiling at one corner of his mouth. "What am I staring at now?" Sirius may have been convinced to try this relationship thing with Remus, but he was, after all, still the same bloke. You could lock him a broom cupboard and by the time you let him out he'd be flirting with a mop. He was going to make inappropriate comments and jokes, and anyway this was Morgana. He could never not be this way around her. She was bloody gorgeous. It didn't mean anything. Mostly.

The pair managed to reach the couch, curling into seats beside each other. Sirius noticed how the mention of Gail made Morgana smile, and grinned back, but then one eyebrow rose stubbornly. "Harry's forty! Pretty much. You never met him from my home. The sprog's a right charmer." Sirius missed the baby version of Harry sometimes. Of course, he adored his Godson whatever age he was, completely and utterly. But it was always difficult to connect the man he knew here with the gurgling baby he'd left at Godric's Hollow. "And mine saved the both the Wizarding and the Muggle world," he boasted, with no small amount of pride. "Gail's under pressure to perform. Poor kid."

Sirius fidgited in his seat, more out of habit than feeling uncomfortable. He was getting used to this, this blind thing. If you didn't think about it it wasn't too bad. You didn't even notice. "How're the others doing?" he asked. Not that he particulary cared when it came to Arthur and Merlin (Even if Sirius held the latter in the kind of begrudging respect. The kind that still wouldn't save him from being pranked.), but he'd got to know Gwen quite well while Morgana had been gone, and he'd always been fond of Mordred.

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future_seer
2011-01-28 04:09 pm UTC (link)

Morgana jabbed him with her elbow, "You're also a bit predictable." She said mostly to throw him off. "Stop staring at my breasts. Men have been disemboweled for less." Morgana enjoyed being a bit ridiculous with Sirius. It was still unexpected as it had become very familiar over the last few months. Never had she, when she had first met him, expected to end up caring about him, never mind end up being friends with him. It was a testament to Sirius' talent for being persistent. And that humor was the way to a girl's heart, or at least Morgana's. What could she say? He was devilishly amusing. Among other things.

Morgana had to train herself not to look directly at him. No one had said so but she had gotten the sense that her eyes unnerved them. That they couldn't see anything bothered them. It took all that she could not to snap over it. It bothered them really? They might see emptiness when they looked into her eyes but that didn't even come close to what she saw when she just attempted to look back. Because she knew Sirius was looking at her Morgana kept her head lowered slightly and she stared off at some diagonal direction rather that straight ahead.

"I'm certain that there are those who find Harry at forty to be adorable." Morgana smirked slightly, which stretched into a more genuine, sweet smile as she listened to Sirius speak about his godson. Or rather just how he spoke about him. One would think that Harry was his own blood. Morgana didn't doubt that Sirius loved Harry regardless, just as she would love Gail regardless, but she imagined that it would be difficult. Sirius certainly had handled it better than she would have. There would have been threats to some unknown force in her case. "Hmm, he did, didn't he? That is rather impressive." She was amused, not mocking. It was true. She'd read the books. It was damn impressive. "However, as far as I'm concerned Gail doesn't have to do anything more than to remember to share and do her homework when she grows older. I'll love her regardless." Morgana would. Whatever the little girl wanted to be or ended up doing, her godmother would simply adore her. Though, Morgana really would rather that she didn't end up the savior of anything. No more epic destinies were needed in the family. The adults in Gail's life had enough of it to spare her the heartache. Hopefully.

Morgana paused when Sirius asked on the others. It wasn't that Sirius wasn't typically polite. Despite what many thought about him, Sirius did know how to speak politely. It was, however, all in the tone. Usually it was bored or mocking. However, at the moment he genuinely sounded interested. Sirius was rarely interested in her family unless it had to do with Mordred or it involved attempting to live long to flirt (however successfully) with Morgause. She wondered what she had missed while she'd been gone. "Mordred seems to have bounced back. He's amazingly resilient." Morgana said, a small smile on her face. She was relieved for that and at times worried. "Though it's easier to tell now if he's hiding anything to keep me from worrying." Now that she spoke more frequently with him through their thoughts. "He's been a great help. Everyone has but he's ... he's been taking care of me. Morgause has been endlessly searching for a way to fix this. And Gwen's been Gwen. Excelling at being a mother and still managing to find the time to take care of the rest of us." While Morgana could believe that Sirius had learned to become closer to Morgause and Gwen (the latter had shown concern when he had turned into the version of himself from Azkaban), she couldn't see that extending to Merlin and Arthur. She hadn't been gone that long. "Merlin and Arthur are likely spoiling Abigail as we speak."

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pad_foot
2011-01-30 12:58 am UTC (link)

“You won’t have me disembowelled,” Sirius grinned wickedly, his face close to hers. “You love me as I am. Whole and with all my vital organs in their rightful place.” He’d missed this, he realized, even if had only been a few weeks. The teasing, slightly flirtatious conversations, making each other laugh. There were very few girls he’d met who had managed to keep him amused and entertained and interested for so long. In ninety percent of the numerous cases he’d been involved in, he stopped caring within the first week. The first month at the latest. But Morgana, she was still here. Perhaps not in the way he’d wanted when he’d first met her… He was with Remus now after all, and that was fine. Better than fine. Much better than fine. But still… here she was.

Still, he grinned widely as the conversation flowed onto the topic of Harry and Gail. In all honesty, he hadn’t thought about what being a Godfather would mean when James had asked him. He’d just agreed, straight off the bat, like he always did when James asked him to do something. The same way he’d been when he’d been asked to be best man and when he’d been asked to join the Order alongside his best friend. He didn’t even consider it, never had when it came to James bloody Potter and the things he asked him to do. Perhaps that was half the problem when it came to all the trouble they got into. But he couldn’t regret it, because Harry was everything to Sirius and from the way Morgana’s voice had lifted and her empty eyes suddenly seemed to shine when she mentioned her Goddaughter, Sirius was willing to bet she was starting to feel just the same as he did.

“He’s a good kid,” he agreed. Mordred had been almost completely silent when he’d stayed at Sirius’ for a few days, but he hadn’t minded. Sirius was used to silent children – Regulus had been one. And he had chatted away enough for both of them anyway. But he couldn’t help but wonder. After all, there had been a reason Regulus had gone for days without speaking back at home. Just what had happened to Mordred? But he also knew better than most that it was usually best not to prod too much into people’s pasts. At least, not people you liked. He chuckled at her description of the other four, nodding and turning his gaze downward.

“Sounds about right,” he smiled, then hesitated. “Do you reckon… do you reckon your hot blonde sister will be able to fix it? What about Merlin?” He reached out, gently pushing a strand of her long, dark hair back onto the correct side of her parting. Then Sirius sighed and let his hand fall into his lap, his tone suddenly a little frustrated. “Someone must be able to.”

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future_seer
2011-01-30 01:34 am UTC (link)

"I do, do I? Nice of you to inform me because I certainly hadn't realized I have a love for you, never mind one that ran so deep."

There was nothing more that Morgana loved talking about than Gail and Mordred. Mordred was the son of her heart and Gail was the product of two people she adored most than anything and anyone. She could go on and on chattering about both of them, never once tiring of either topic. Not being able to see Gail certainly wasn't a hindrance in loving the girl. She'd loved her before she'd been born and that was solidified when a sleepy hand had gripped one of her fingers.

Going from teasing Sirius to speaking on them was such an easy flow, a natural turn of the conversation. And Morgana felt comfortable. Yes, she would love to be able to see. Sirius was diverting to watch, he was so mobile. Nevertheless, that - surprisingly - didn't diminish this moment and Morgana was so at ease. More settled in her own skin and less ... angsty, for a lack of better word.

"He truly is." If Morgana could have more pride for Mordred she would be bursting. She'd have literally exploded. He had come such a long way since the months of his arrival, they had come such a long way. She felt so much more secure as his guardian, a sensation Morgana hadn't imagined feeling during the rough starts and tense moments. He had been talking to people she hadn't wanted him to associate with, he hadn't respected her authority at times , and she was close to people he despised - people who had hurt him in their future. However, they'd managed and were so much closer now. Morgana had been silly to believe that coming back blind would change things for the worse. It'd only made them closer, a stronger force. "I've been considering putting him in school. I haven't told him yet," She admitted. "But I think it might be good for him."

It would be good for both of them.

One might wonder why she was telling this to Sirius of all people, when he didn't have a child of his own and it was ... well, Sirius. Sirius and Morgana's friendship did have more substance than flirting and teasing. It even had emotions. They understood each other and she trusted Sirius to always be honest with her. Besides, he also knew Mordred better than anyone else here (over the age ten) than wasn't herself or Morgause. And Morgause tended to have skewed views on certain things involving Mordred.

Morgana's ears pricked up on something though she wasn't quite certain what it was at first. When Sirius continued, she realized - belatedly - that it was hesitation and she frowned slightly. "She hasn't stopped searching since I arrived." She answered softly, "And Merlin said that he would help but ... I don't ... I don't know." Morgana paused and then admitted, "It seems sort of - I don't know. I just can't shake the feeling that if it was meant to be so simple that it wouldn't have happened in the first place." Morgana oddly had maddening feelings from her the time of her death, and even briefer and fuzzier memories. Yet she had the sense that there was a reason for her blindness. As well as her loss of her 'other' sight. Morgana had yet to mention that to anyone, terrified that they would further find her to be defective. However, she discovered that she didn't have nightmares or any sort of vision anymore. She pretended, to herself, to be perfectly alright with it. To be relieved. And as much as that was true a tiny part of her felt this sliver of fear. So many what if's swarmed through her head.

"I suppose if they can't, they can ask the others with magic in the city."

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pad_foot
2011-01-31 08:36 am UTC (link)

It was good for Sirius to see how Morgana felt about Mordred. He knew the dark haired boy was as good as a son to the woman in front of him – he knew it was admirable how she had taken the child in without a second thought, how unconditionally she loved him despite their not being linked by blood. But he knew better than anyone that blood wasn’t everything. Still, at the school revelation, Sirius couldn’t hide his laugh.

“Morgana,” he told her, honestly. “He’ll hate it. You’ll have a magical tantrum to deal with every morning for the first month. Actually, we should probably start casting unbreakable charms now...” He grinned to himself, squirming a little on the seat and making them both bounce. “But yeah, it’d probably do him good in the long run. He’s too quiet for his own good. You know… outside of people’s heads.” Not that Sirius could really talk – he’d always been a little on the loud and brash side of things. It was half the reason he’d been such a bad son, as he’d been constantly reminded. But it had been vital, a sure-fire way to draw attention away from quiet Regulus and his silence. “Anyway,” he added, “It’ll give you and hot blonde a break.”

“Everyone’s had stuff taken,” he admitted, hugging one knee into his chest. “Rose doesn’t have any memories of anything that doesn’t stem from the Doctor. Not her family back home or anything.” Or me. But he didn’t say that because it was probably a bit self-centred even for him. She didn’t remember her Mother after all, and he was just a bloke she used to shag and now went drinking with. But they had been close, and he missed her now. “Remus doesn’t have his magic any more. Or… you know. The werewolf thing. Which… should be a good thing, but…”

He trailed off, with a shrug he only realized too late Morgana wouldn’t see. Morgana and Remus, although the elder Black didn’t see it, probably had something in common, both having lost things that they should by all rights be pleased to be shot of. But at the same time, they had lost something to define them. Sirius knew Remus better than anyone, and he could see how the loss had affected the other boy, even when he was pretending nothing was wrong. And he could see something weighing on Morgana’s shoulders in much the same way, perhaps not as obviously – he hadn’t known her anyway near as long, after all - but it was still there. And it pained him to see it.

“No’one’s found a way to fix any of it,” he admitted. Not that he was trying to knock her hopes, but Sirius was nothing if not honest with Morgana. And there was no point lying about that.

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future_seer
2011-02-01 02:46 pm UTC (link)

Morgana frowned momentarily at Sirius' response; however, it quickly enough turned upside down. She had to give him his due there, because as much as she didn't like it, nothing that he had said was untrue. She remembered Mordred's magical tantrums, and tantrums in general, well and not at all fondly. Morgana refused to bend to them - though she was willing to compromise once he apologized and calmed down - but that didn't mean that they didn't hurt her heart anyhow. She despised upsetting Mordred; even if when it was for his own good.

Her focus was more on Mordred than on Sirius' inability to sit still so she didn't comment on that, rather she said, "My sister has a name." Her mouth tilting upwards, before continuing: "I do think socializing with other children his age would be a great start toward that. Being friends with Phils has helped him tremendously; however, I think that having other people that he wants to talk to - that aren't myself, Morgause, you, or Gwen - would be be even better for him. He is so ... " Morgana paused, thinking through and gathering her words. "I remember his older self being so well-adjusted." Not the thirty year old one who was deceptive and caused even hairs on her own neck to rise, but the teenager raised in Colligo. He'd been so very well adjusted and Morgana hadn't a single clue how to cause that to happen. If they'd left her any clues, her older self and Mordred's, they hadn't told her where to find them.

Morgana wanted to ask if he knew what Regulus had had taken away. However, she didn't. Just as she had avoided mentioning Sirius to Regulus during their talks (when he answered the phone), she wouldn't push Sirius into talking about his brother. She would encourage it if he brought him up but not push. Morgana hadn't a clue if they were at peace at the moment or not. And while she doubted Regulus would tell Sirius anything, she knew how the older brother liked to make himself known into the younger's life. Morgana hoped that Sirius would be aware enough to show some tact about this, for Regulus' sake, but she also hoped that he had garnered something. Because Regulus was being very tight-lipped.

So, instead, she commented about everyone else. "But?" She prompted when Sirius trailed off on Remus. "And I'm sure the Doctor will figure something out in relation to Rose." She said gently. Morgana didn't know Rose, Remus, or the Doctor very well. However, the first two were important to Sirius and while that didn't make them important to her she did have some concern. Not to mention, she could understand in a way and she felt sympathy for them. She couldn't imagine being without her magic - the good of it, the bad of it - so it had to be very difficult for Remus who had known he could do magic much longer than she had. And Rose ... Morgana would have been frustrated as hell realizing that something was missing but not having a clue of what. It had to be very difficult. She knew that losing parts of you, that it was beyond the word.

She bit down on her bottom lip - looking away, turning her face away - in attempt to keep from frowning. In order to keep herself from showing how much that scared her. Never being able to see again. Even someone like Morgana, so used to facades, couldn't hide such a fear - something that angered her for so many reasons - that easily. "I know, Sirius." She said, turning her head back once she was sure that she'd composed herself, though she still kept her face tucked down slightly. "I've accepted it days ago." Morgana said with a slight shrug, as if she was brushing aside something that didn't mattered. "However, they're all determined to look and it'd be selfish to stop them ... I think. And maybe .. perhaps they'll find something." However, Morgana wasn't holding onto much of her breath.

Arthur would say that she was quitting, that it wasn't like her. She wasn't. She was being realistic. Morgana liked think that she managed that on most days. Refusing to fool herself was different from giving up all</i hope.

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pad_foot
2011-02-10 05:44 am UTC (link)

Sirius nodded, and then realized once again that Morgana couldn’t see him and made an odd ‘mhmm’ noise in agreement. It probably would do Mordred good to hang around with other kids his age, despite the initial and inevitable fireworks. Sirius remembered his school days as the best of his life – he’d hardly had an easy childhood, and had been thrown into war the moment after he’d graduated. Despite his reputation, Sirius felt sorry for anyone who didn’t get such an opportunity to... well, make friends and piss about and get into trouble.

“I don’t really remember the older version,” he admitted. “Wasn’t really myself, was I?” Although he’d flicked back through the network and had seen a little bit of Morgana’s teenage protégé. He seemed like a good kid, if a bit on the sarcastic, reckless side. But Sirius could cope with that. In fact, if he hadn’t played a part in making him that way he’d be sorely disappointed. “Listen,” he told Morgana, reaching out and giving her a gentle, affectionate punch to the shoulder. “Don’t get your wand in a knot. I think you do him a hell of a lot of good. Honestly, Morgana. I know bad parenting, alright? You, my dear, are doing what I believe is known as a bang up job.”

He shrugged at her prompting about Remus. “He’s not a werewolf any more,” he told her, and perhaps his tone gave away a little more than he meant it to. “And I know he misses it. I mean, I know it was shit and whatever, but it was kind of part of who he was for so long I don’t think he really knows what to do without it.” Sirius could understand that, in a way. He knew Remus, after all. He could read how the other boy felt. But then again, every scrap of (admittedly, in Sirius’ case, underused) logic told him Moony should be happy to be free of the thing that ripped him apart every month. But that was a conversation he wasn’t about to have with anyone willingly – Sirius didn’t do emotion very well, and couldn’t help but think he’d probably just put his foot in it. And he really didn’t want to arse things up when it came to that particular relationship.

Morgana looked away from him, and Sirius turned his dark gaze awkwardly down to his lap. Perhaps he shouldn’t have said that, but he was just trying to be honest. No point lying to her – it was Morgana, and she’d always call him up on it. But he couldn’t imagine what it was like for her, to be trapped in the dark. He shifted uncomfortably, one knee twitching erratically until she spoke again. “Well, as much as I hate to admit it,” he told her, forcing his voice to stay upbeat. “If anyone can do it, it’d be Merlin and hot sister. Although don’t tell him I said that, or I’ll have to hex him to save my reputation.”

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