Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Who wears short shorts?"

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

Juno MacGuff [Juno] ([info]sacredvessel) wrote in [info]colligo_threads,
@ 2010-12-30 19:54:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: crushed
Entry tags:juno weasley, sam winchester

WHO: Juno & Sam
WHAT: Sam is a pillar of strength in this family drama.
WHEN: Thursday, after Juno hears the news about Regulus.
WHERE: Sam's (wherever that may be)
WARNING: Angst, tears.


Juno had hitched a ride in the TARDIS with the Doctor that morning, to touch base with Sam after their usual Wednesday dinner had been postponed. With Sam the overprotective big brother that he was, and the Doctor & Co. busy fighting evil Christmas ornaments of doom, she'd ended up staying for a good while.

She'd randomly logged onto her PDA to send Regulus a text about babies, to make him squirm, and hopefully brighten the gloom that had followed Morgana's death, but the moment she did, she wished that she hadn't. Sirius had apologized, and apologized, but all she could think was...

She couldn't think. She could barely see to type her own apology for snapping at him.

Regulus was gone.


(Post a new comment)


[info]fireinthesoul
2010-12-31 02:32 am UTC (link)
Sam had seen the message, about Regulus. He barely knew the kid, but it would have been hard to miss the fact Juno was over the moon for him. And now...Well, Sam knew how it felt to lose someone you cared about.

He'd welcomed Juno to the clinic happily, earlier in the day. He'd been selfishly glad she was where he could keep an eye on her. He was the over protective big brother type, and being over protective of Juno was one of his past times.

The morning had passed uneventfully, and Sam hadn't exactly shadowed Juno. She was a big girl, and she was safe. But then he'd read the message about Regulus, and no matter how big and safe she was, he didn't like the thought of her being alone.

He said nothing. Words would fall short. His expression told her he knew, and he understood. He'd pretty much lost everyone he'd ever cared about along the way, he knew the unspeakable pain of loss inside and out. And he knew sometimes words just got in the way. A smile and a touch would do a lot more to comfort.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2010-12-31 03:07 am UTC (link)
Juno was sitting outside the nursery, staring through the observation window at the screaming, pooping life on the other side of the glass. She sighed heavily as Sam came up and stood beside her. Even though she knew he was only human, she could almost imagine him tucking her under a giant wing. Or maybe that was her memory of Cas.

"I feel like, if I could just...slip through the looking glass again, everything would go back to how it was. Nice and boring, and safe. You think that's how they feel? Being born? You think they ever want to go back, before all the glaring artifice, and heartbreak?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2010-12-31 04:03 am UTC (link)
"I think they don't know any of that yet." He didn't have wings, but he did have arms to put around her. He thought briefly of Cas and the comfort of his wings, but he banished the thought. he needed to stay focused on Juno, just now. He shifted his focus to the babies, curled up together in the crib. "But they know it's different here. And when someone holds them, they feel just as safe and warm as before they were born. At least that's what I think."

He felt like he should say something about Regulus, but he bit his tongue. Juno would mention him, if she was ready to talk about him. In the meantime, Sam would offer objective comfort.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2010-12-31 04:49 am UTC (link)
Juno started to say something, choked on a sob, and turned and buried her head against Sam's chest. Her arms could barely reach around him with her stomach in the way, but his were plenty long enough to hold her instead. She wanted to find that feeling safeness so very much.

"Is it me?" she asked. "Am I cursed? Is that why everything good I find gets taken away?" Her home. Her friends. The prospective parents for her unborn child. Everything, starting with her mother walking out when she was five. "I can't believe he's gone."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2010-12-31 06:29 pm UTC (link)
Sam shook his head. "No, Juno." He kissed the top of her head, in a friendly, supportive, comforting gesture. "You're not cursed." He could make a case that he was, in fact, cursed, but he didn't want to think about his mother or the deal she'd made, the demon that had fed him demon blood when he was six months old, or all the ways demons had intruded on his life over the years, setting up so many events in his life...This wasn't about him. It was about Juno, and his intent was to comfort her.

"I know it seems that way. But you're a wonderful person. And you're so young. And you've got a lot of living yet to do." He'd had Dean right there, dragging him out and putting him to work in the days after Jess died. he hadn't had time to sit around and feel sorry for himself. he hadn't been cooped up inside, but Juno couldn't go outside. She was effectively trapped. Sam liked to think at least she was in a safe place, surrounded by friends. Sam also knew that didn't even dull the ache of losing Regulus.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2010-12-31 06:44 pm UTC (link)
She didn't know what she would have done if Sam wasn't there. If she'd been alone, or back at the Potters' place to see for herself that Regulus was well and truly...

She couldn't even bring herself to form the word, even in her thoughts. It seemed so unreal. But that was how it worked, wasn't it? Anger. Denial. At least she knew better than to go and look for someone to bargain with. She had a baby to bring into the world.

"I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel about him," she said, "It's only been a couple months, and he can still be such an ass sometimes." Could. Had been. "Sirius was killed by zombies and he came back. But your dad..." She got choked up again thinking about that too, even though she'd barely known John. "And more people appear and disappear all the time. How are we supposed to live normal lives when there's nothing about this place that's even close to normal?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2010-12-31 08:45 pm UTC (link)
"It was different, with my dad. He...his death, it was a sacrifice. he died to stop Yellow Eyes." Sam shook his head. He still had some unresolved feelings about his dad, but he supposed he would always struggle with those feelings. Even having a second chance with John hadn't helped him work through it all. "And when Yellow Eyes was stopped, everyone who died because of him was brought back."

Sam wanted to tell Juno that Regulus would come back, when it was all over. But the Toclafane weren't the same as Azazel's zombies. Near as Sam could tell, no one was responsible for the invasion, and with no one to be held accountable...

"We'll get through this, Juno. Somehow." He held her tight, and gave a firm squeeze just to try and send a little more comfort to her. He didn't really know what else to do.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2010-12-31 10:00 pm UTC (link)
"I know," she murmured, trying to convince herself. "I know." Sam was smart, and she trusted that he knew how to stay alive. She just wished she could go back to when her only troubles were bad math grades and mood swings.

"I was really starting to like him," she said, though that much was probably obvious. "He and Sirius were just starting not to hate each other so much, and now...freaking...my sorta boyfriend dies and I'm worrying about how his brother's going to handle it. Which is probably not well. And now I feel bad for virtually screaming at the guy. How weird is that?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-01 04:11 am UTC (link)
"It's called grief," Sam put a hand up to finger her hair, softly and gently, just sort of stroking it. "It's part of the process." The brother thing hit his harder than he wanted to admit. He'd lived through Dean dying countless times, and it never got any easier. He honestly didn't know what he'd do if anything happened to either of the Deans. Losing Adam had been hard enough, and as far as he knew, Adam wasn't dead, just gone.

"I don't know the brother at all, and I didn't really know Regulus either." Sam shook his head. He should have made more of an effort, because if Juno and Reg were getting serious, Reg was likely going to be a part of the child's life.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-01 04:45 am UTC (link)
"If you and Dean were wizards instead of hunters," Juno mused, "Sirius would be Dean, and Reg would have been you." She almost laughed at the comparison, but it came out as more of a sigh.

"I know he was carrying a lot of baggage from all the dark shit he'd gotten into, and all the family expectations and prejudices, but I think he was really trying to make a fresh start. I mean, he was hanging out with me, and I am so not the kind of girl his mother would have approved of." She actually did laugh, then, adding wryly, "Then again, Paulie's mom didn't really approve of me, either."

She shook her head, shoulders sagging heavily. "I miss him. Both of them. I try not to think about it too much, because I feel horrible, hanging out with another guy while I still kind of miss the baby's dad. Even though I was never officially dating either one of them. I'm so messed up."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-01 04:58 am UTC (link)
"You'll have to tell us about him." Sam shifted his weight a little. He meant Paulie, more so than Regulus, but either would work. He wanted the baby to know about the people who were part of his life by default, and that included both Paulie and Regulus.

"I can't imagine ever being anything other than a hunter. Except, I'm on hiatus, I guess. not much call for hunting here. And that's okay. I kind of like the quiet." He laughed, because Colligo was anything but quiet. But there weren't many creatures to hunt, and for the most part even the vampires and demons were law abiding and contributing citizens.

"We're all messed up in our own way. That's what makes us interesting." He hoped to lighten the mood. The stress wasn't good for her, or the baby.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-01 05:14 am UTC (link)
"Yeah, but you still can't seem to stop yourself rescuing damsels in distress, can you?" she teased, smiling up at said rescuer. The tears had stopped flowing by then, and she dried her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Paulie was like the high school track star," she said, blushing a little. "He and I used to have this garage band with some friends of ours. It was pretty sweet. We probably sucked hard, but it was fun."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-01 05:31 am UTC (link)
"Yeah, but isn't that the whole point of having a garage band?" Sam made a face and shook his head. He'd never really had the opportunity to be in a garage band. He'd rarely been in one place long enough to make friends when he was a kid, and by the time he was a teenager, he'd given up even trying to make friends when they landed in a new town. He always knew they wouldn't be there long, anyway.

"Me? I'd much rather save damsels in distress anyway." He flashed a little smile. "Seems I found my niche in life, with that." And in a place like Colligo, he had plenty of opportunity to save people.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-01 05:41 am UTC (link)
"You go, Sam," she cheered. "You save the damsels, and as soon as I have room on my lap to hold a guitar again, I'll be your bard and compose ridiculously fangirly ditties about you. Maybe even before, cause, you know, they say it's good to play music for kids while they're still in utero and all."

She slid and arm around Sam's waist and gave him another quick side hug, rubbing her belly as she leaned on her 'next door brother,' as she called him. "Ooh. He's kicking. Can you feel that?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-02 11:17 pm UTC (link)
Sam went completely still, a hand to Juno's belly. He tilted his head as if that would help him feel the kick. It didn't, but he felt it just the same, and he couldn't help but smile. "That? Is all kinds of awesome. Hello, in there. Hi, baby." He shifted his gaze up to Juno, still grinning. He hadn't really felt the baby move like that before. He almost didn't have words to process it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-02 11:44 pm UTC (link)
Juno watched Sam's face, all but holding her breath as she waited for the baby to move again. Watching the connection dawn on Sam's face, and his smile when it happened was more than worth the wait.

"Isn't it, though? I read that he's probably between ten and twelve inches tall now, and he weighs almost two whole pounds." Of course, it was still a surprise whether the baby was actually a boy or girl, but she didn't feel like it was right to call him an 'it' anymore. "He'll be growing really fast in the next few months, so you'll probably be able to feel it a lot easier when he moves."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-03 01:25 am UTC (link)
"It must feel really weird to you." Sam couldn't even imagine. On the outside it just felt like a little flutter, definitely something there, but very vague and fleeting. He had nothing to compare what it might feel like from the inside.

"Having a child is a really incredible thing." He smiled a little smile. He wasn't afraid to admit he was awed by the miracle of life.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-03 01:58 am UTC (link)
"At first, it felt like butterflies in my stomach, like, literally," she said, "Now...yeah. It's really hard to describe. But I can tell when he's awake or sleeping. And sometimes...sometimes he gets hiccups and just...bounces off the walls."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-04 01:14 am UTC (link)
"That is so awesome." Sam could forget all about the things outside, he could forget about everything but Juno and her unborn child, for a few minutes. "I can't wait to meet him. Or her," he added quickly. They had fallen in to a pattern of referring to the baby as 'he' or 'him' and Sam didn't care one way or the other, he wanted to be surprised, but sometimes he reminded himself it could be a girl just as easily.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-04 01:51 am UTC (link)
"Hard to believe I'm over halfway," Juno mused, "That's not much longer at all. Though the bigger I get, the slower time seems to move. I can't decide if Claire and Gwen going into labor has me more impatient or more freaked out."

She glanced at the tiny infants on the other side of the observation window again. Pretty much everything had her freaked out lately, but she was actually feeling pretty okay at the moment. "Soon enough, I suppose."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-08 04:49 pm UTC (link)
"It seems like it's coming so fast, and at the same time taking forever." Sam smiled a genuine smile. "I can't wait to meet him. Or her." He let a palm rest against Juno's belly. Any other woman, even Claire or Dawn he would have felt awkward with his hands on her like that. But he figured he and Juno had a certain bond, and the child she carried was the center of it.

He thought of Cas, and how Cas should have been with them through the whole process. He pushed the thoughts of Cas away, for the time being. He tried not to dwell on it when he was with other people. When he was alone...well, he didn't always haqve distractions to keep his mind from going there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-08 10:41 pm UTC (link)
Juno sighed contentedly, leaning her head on Sam's shoulder. She missed Cas too, but she didn't want to be depressing. Talking about the baby seemed like a safe subject.

"Have you thought any more about names? We should probably have one for each, just to be prepared. Maybe, like, Jessica Gabrielle for a girl? And for a boy...I don't know. I think that's your department."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-09 03:34 am UTC (link)
Sam went stiff, just for a moment before he remembered to breathe, at the first name. Why Jessica? Of all the names..."Jessica was my girlfriend. Long time ago." He shook his head, pressed a hand to his eyes to try and fight the image of Jess on the ceiling, and the fire...just like his mother.

He shook his head, forcing himself to move past the moment and the memory. "I don't know. I want to name the baby after Cas and Dean, somehow. I thought about using Cas' name, but I don't think that's fair. I want him to have his own identity. Maybe something that combines the names somehow."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-09 04:34 am UTC (link)
Juno turned, her lips parting in realization at the slip. She knew there had been a reason the name kept popping up in her mind, but...

"Sorry," she said quickly, "I didn't...it's a pretty name, anyway."

She tilted her head, considering his idea to name a boy after Cas and Dean. "Well, you could do Cassidy," she suggested, "But that's kind of unisex." Come to think of it, Cassidy Gabrielle wasn't a bad idea for a girl's name. "Or Deacon? That's more manly, but it's awfully close to Dean." She tried a couple of portmanteaus, thinking aloud as she superimposed the syllables. "Castian? No. To Chronicles of Narnia sounding. Maybe...Ca...den? Caden?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-09 05:14 am UTC (link)
He shook his head when she tried to apologise. Jessica was a pretty name. But it had too many memories attached to it for him. Most of them good, but the last one was the one that carried all the weight.

"Caden." Sam repeated the suggestion, trying it out on his tongue. He thought it might work, for a boy or a girl. He nodded. "I like it. Caden Winchester. What do you think, little one?" He asked, with a look toward Juno's belly. He'd think on middle names, all the other people he wanted to honor.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-09 05:41 am UTC (link)
"I think Caden recognizes your voice," she said, rubbing her belly as she felt the telltale fluttering again. "We're excited to meet you too, kiddo." She smiled as she looked back up at Sam. "I guess I shouldn't have been so worried that you were gonna change your mind."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-09 04:26 pm UTC (link)
Sam smiled a sad sort of smile. "Changing my mind never even crossed my mind. I mean, I know it's going to be harder without him. Being a single parent can't be easy. But I've got a support system to fall back on. And..." His expression turned more apprehensive. "And I was hoping maybe you'd want to help? I mean, if you want to. I want you to be part of his life. I want him to know who you are." Asking Juno to be involved with the baby might be something of a risk, but Sam didn't want to just push her away, once the baby was born. He had grown quite fond of her, and she was so much more to him than the baby's birth mother. He considered her a friend, and he genuinely wanted her to be part of Caden's life.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-10 03:05 am UTC (link)
"Really?" Juno swallowed, blinking up at him. Then a smile lit up her entire face, and she threw her arms around him as best she could with the baby-bump between them. He was a good friend, and the closest thing she had to family in Colligo. She'd been worried that it might be awkward to be so close, in relationship and proximity both, but maybe not.

"Before I came here, I was so sure I just wanted to put the baby in a basket like Moses, but now...I was hoping we could figure out a way to make the open adoption thing work. I was just too nervous to ask, because I didn't want you to think I was gonna take him away from you."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-10 03:41 am UTC (link)
"I wasn't really sure how to bring it up, either." Sam fingered her hair, putting it behind her ear. "But I really don't want to kick you out of my life, and really it doesn't make sense to do that anyway." He shook his head. Juno was probably one of his closest friends outside of his family.

He let his hand slide down to her stomach again. He felt the subtle flutter of movement. "Do you think we should tell everyone else we've named him? Well, assuming it is a boy. I think it is. I don't know why. I just sort of feel like it."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-10 04:28 am UTC (link)
"That's good to know," Juno murmured, trying not to get all misty-eyed on him again. "Cause I think I'm starting to like the little guy."

She giggled a little, feeling a little more of the tension dissipate, at least for the moment. "That's right, you were the psychic brother, weren't you?" she teased. "I guess it's up to you. If we wait until after it's named, nobody can complain that we didn't name him MacGyver Van Halen, or something. Do you want get another ultrasound and see if your hunch is right?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-10 07:17 am UTC (link)
Sam shook his head. "Nah. I still want it to be a surprise. But I know. I just know." He ginned, looking for a moment like an innocent kid, with no worries at all. "MacGuyver Van Halen, huh?" Sam arched his brow. "Sounds like you've been talking to Dean." Actually sounded more like something Ben would suggest, but Sam didn't want to think about his nephew any more than he wanted to think about Cas.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-10 01:32 pm UTC (link)
"See? I do fit right in to your weird-ass family," Juno said, grinning right back. "At least I didn't suggest, like, Optumus Prime, or one of the Thundercats. Though Jaga? Does kinda sound like a reference to the Stones, if you think about it." She shook her head. "I like Caden, though. So we can tell people whenever you decide."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-10 05:43 pm UTC (link)
"We are not naming this child Jaga." Sam gave her a playful sort of frown. He was glad they'd lightened the mood. he could almost forget what was going on outside. Almost.

"I don't see any point keeping it a secret. What do you think of Caden Robert? Bobby was always like a dad to me and Dean. Or Caden Bennett, for Claire. She's always made sure I had my head on straight."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-10 07:05 pm UTC (link)
"No Jaggers, no Axels, and no Sympathy for the Devil references. Gotcha." Juno grinned. If there was anything she was good at, it was being in the moment. Or maybe it was just being easily distracted, but for now, maybe that was just what the doctor ordered.

"Either of those works," she said, "The only person I can really think of is my dad, and Caden Mac just doesn't quite..." She shrugged. "And yeah, you can laugh. My dad's name is Mac MacGuff. Don't ask me what my grandparents were thinking."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-10 07:38 pm UTC (link)
Sam nodded. He put a hand up to his hair, scratched his head. "Caden Mac Bennett Winchester. Caden Bennett Mac Winchester? No. I like the first one better." He nodded again.

He'd been putting off trying to come up with a name, but now that he'd given it some thought it came pretty easy. Caden was likely going to be his only child, and he felt sort of bad if he didn't name the kid after Bobby, but he couldn't name him after everyone. Besides, the baby might be a girl, and he might have to reconsider all together.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-10 07:58 pm UTC (link)
"Why not Caden Robert Bennet Winchester?" Juno asked. "I mean...I might have another kid someday. After college and stuff--" she added hastily, just so Sam wouldn't get to thinking she was in any hurry. She was definitely planning on practicing abstinence for a while, just to be 100% safe. "And then if it's a girl, we can compromise and call her Caden Mackenna...all that jazz? Kind of like a cross between my dad and my step mom, Mac, and Brenda. Fair enough?"

She smiled up at him. "And if you think of something you like better between now and April Fools, well, we've got time. Unless Dean and Claire have stolen your names."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-10 08:34 pm UTC (link)
"That might work. I definitely like Caden McKenna. It flows. But..." Sam's gaze dropped to her stomach. "I'm pretty sure it's a boy. At least we have the first name." Caden was pretty well set in stone, already. it was a perfect combination of Cas and Dean, subtle but meaningful.

"I'm sure we'll settle on something before we meet the little guy. Now I don't know about you, but I'm hungry." He patted his own stomach. He hadn't had much of an appetite lately, but he felt a lot better about things now, and apparently that affected his appetite.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sacredvessel
2011-01-10 11:54 pm UTC (link)
Juno smiled, laughing out loud as her stomach grumbled on cue, and the baby proceeded to jab her in the bladder. "I'm always hungry," she said, "But first I have to...you know...avail myself of the facilities. Unless you can convince your kid that my bladder is not a trampoline."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fireinthesoul
2011-01-11 01:10 am UTC (link)
"The kid's a Winchester, and a MacGuff. You really think he's going to listen?" Sam flashed a smile. "You go do what you need to go, I'll scrounge up some grub." He waved a hand in a 'shoo' motion.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs