InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Keep your hands to yourself"

parker succeeds by stealing the success of others (inafivepoundbag) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2010-12-20 02:48:00

Entry tags:

alaric saltzman, damon salvatore, parker

WHO: Alaric Saltzman, Damon Salvatore, and Parker
WHAT: Parker's bored and decides to pay her new friend an impromptu visit.
WHEN: Early evening
WHERE: Damon and Ric's apartment.
RATING: TBD
STATUS: In Progress

Although Parker was understandably thrilled that it was now snowing outside, the fact was it wasn't happening nearly fast enough for her liking. All of her grand plans - everything ranging from snow catapults to snowball wars of epic nature to a snow fort to beat all other snow forts (with the added bonus of a surprise attack on Eliot when he wandered too close) - had to wait until there was a lot more snow than there currently was. Which meant that she was currently very wound up, very anxious to do something fun, and completely out of ideas when it came to correcting either problem. It also didn't help that Cas was busy with other plans and neither Eliot nor Crowley tended to find fun what she found fun.

So with all of that in mind, Parker decided to stop by to see her newest friend.

Finding out which apartment Alaric was staying in had been easy. When you'd been in the city as long as Parker had, and had as many connections as she did, there wasn't much that was too difficult. It also helped that his name was engraved on that plaque right outside the door, of course, but who was she not to put her contacts to good use? That's why they were contacts after all. But back to the point, which was that she knew where he lived and she more than knew the duct work through every inch of every apartment building. The rest really was just a matter of connecting the dots, all of which pointed directly to Parker randomly popping out of an air duct in the wall of Alaric's living room with the utmost grace and in a way that clearly suggested she saw absolutely nothing out of the ordinary with her arrival.

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itsnotinme
2010-12-20 08:28 am UTC (link)

Damon Salvatore was behaving himself. At least, in so far as he could given that his skin was starting to get itchy from having only been able to pick up a squirrel in order to keep himself from completely shriveling up. Hitting the blood bank in this place wasn't going to be simple given that the largest medical facility that they seemed to have was hardly large enough to hold much, and the fresh on tap was strictly off limits until the curiosity died down a bit.

He really, really hated behaving.

Turning the page of his book in a middle agitation, his hearing perked up a moment as a quiet clang, clang, clang hit his ears, eyes moving slowly around the room until he pinpointed the source of the noise...in the walls. Standing, discarding the book on the couch, Damon crossed slowly over to the opposite wall, crouching down and following the noise climbed and drew closer until the grating clattered off the vent, dropping onto the floor in front of him, and Damon's eyes jerked up to find...a blond gymnast tumbling into the apartment?

Uh. All right. What?

"I think you have the wrong floor."

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-20 08:42 am UTC (link)

There was something entirely too odd about the fact that, just a few months ago, he had tried to kill Damon, and Damon had killed him, and now they were sitting in their apartment reading. It was horribly domestic, and Alaric couldn't help being amused and disturbed in equal measure by the whole situation. If someone had told him this would happen before he'd come to Mystic Falls, he'd have declared them completely insane and gone on his way. But here he was, having a quiet evening at home with his best friend. Who was a vampire.

Such is my life now, he mused idly to himself, turning a page in his book.

Then there was a clatter and Damon spoke and Ric didn't even have to look up from his book to figure out what had happened. He should probably have been at least a little worried that Parker had broke into his apartment, but instead he was just bemused. "We do have a door, you know," he said, turning another page in the book and smiling to himself. "It's a fascinating invention. You may have heard of it? But I guess this falls under the same heading as hotwiring your own car?" That heading being more fun this way. He knew she'd understand what he meant, even if Damon didn't.

He finally looked up and gave her a smile. "Hello, Parker," he said mildly. "How are you?"

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-20 08:48 am UTC (link)

Parker had just peered up at the guy she didn't know, eyes sparkling and a private sort of smile on her face. "No I don't," she assured him, tipping her head in Ric's direction when he spoke up. "See? I'm here for him. Relax. It's not like I'm here to rob the place." She snorted at her own joke and shook her head in faint amusement as she stepped around Damon and made her way to where Ric was sitting.

"Doors are for dweebs," she said nonchalantly. Stopping directly in front of him, she calmly took the book out of his hands and wasted no time sitting down in his lap. "I'm bored," she announced in a matter of fact tone. "Get your stuff so we can go do something."

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itsnotinme
2010-12-20 09:03 am UTC (link)

Here for him. Damon wasn't sure he completely comprehended was what going on at the moment. Oh, he understood the words. Recognized what he was seeing, but when it came to actually putting these things together to make some sort of logical sense, nothing was coming to mind. His gaze ping-ponging back and forth between the two and then widening as she oh-so-causally plopped herself down in Ric's lap, Damon was barely able contain the smile that crossed his features as he turned, picking the grate back up off the floor.

"I'm assuming you have no issue with leaving by the door?" Damon asked, quirking an eyebrow as he held up the grate. "I'm just going to put this back."

And hopefully figure out what the hell sort of parallel dimension he'd stepped into in the mean time.

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-20 05:15 pm UTC (link)

Alaric tried to hold back a snort of amusement at the comment about robbing the place, but couldn't manage it. After his last adventure with Parker, it was just too funny. Of course Damon wouldn't get it, but he'd fill him in later. It was actually fun to have one up on the vampire. Normally, if someone was confused, it was him and not Damon, so it was kind of a nice change. He barely reacted as Parker took his book and sat herself in his lap. He didn't even bother trying to steady her, because the idea of Parker falling was laughable at best.

"And what are we going to do?" he asked. "There's not enough snow yet for that to be the reason. Is this going to end in bondage?" There was a brief pause. "Again?"

"And you're definitely not a dweeb." He glanced over at Damon. "There's no way going she's to leave through the door," he said. "You've basically just dared her to be more creative."

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-20 06:10 pm UTC (link)

Parker glanced toward Damon, her brow furrowing a bit as he began to return the grate to its proper place. With a shrug that said to anyone who knew her that she didn't care because she was going to find another way to leave besides the vent or the front door, she looked back to Alaric. "If there was enough snow I wouldn't be bored," she pointed out before grinning mischievously. "And there'll only be bondage if you're really lucky."

With a grin that caused her nose to crinkle, she twisted enough in his lap to look back to Damon. "So who're you?" she questioned. She glanced at Alaric. "Who's he?" Then her gaze snapped back to Damon once more. "And Ric's right. I'm not a dweeb so I'm not using the door. Sorry."

Her casual tone clearly said she wasn't sorry in the least.

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itsnotinme
2010-12-21 04:59 pm UTC (link)

He'd stumbled into a parallel reality, another one, where Ric was a chick magnet, and he was the one tripping over his tongue. Or, at the moment, at a loss for words. Glancing between Ric and the mysterious blond for another long moment, Damon quirked an incredulous eyebrow at her when she asked who he was, "The other person that belongs in this apartment, and someone who has never really appreciated being broken in on," He said, looking at Ric, asking him the most important question without really saying anything.

Who the fuck is this chick? And why were they talking about bondage?

"Damon Salvatore, if you're insistent on a name."

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-21 05:59 pm UTC (link)

Alaric rolled his eyes at Damon's explanation. "This is Damon," he said. "He's a friend from back home and he lives here. And he's apparently being more of a jackass than usual today, so don't mind him." He wasn't sure if Damon was just in a mood, or if he didn't like his friends making new friends, or if it was just that he had issues with people coming out of air ducts, but he had given up trying to understand Damon's moods a long time ago. Actually, he'd never really started.

"Damon, this is Parker," he said. "She's a friend and apparently we're going out to do something because she's bored." And the next words to come out of his mouth were probably a colossal mistake, but he said them anyway.

"Do you want to come along? It should be interesting, if nothing else."

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-21 07:08 pm UTC (link)

Parker grinned, crossing her ankles and leaning a little over the side of Ric's lap. How she didn't fall backwards was really anyone's guess. She gave Damon a little wave. "Nice to meet you," she said. The words didn't sound quite as much like an automaton as they once had. Between spending time with Noah Bennet and learning how to act normal, and hanging around at the casino enough that she witnessed normal every day, she had learned how to say the words with ease.

Of course, she didn't mean them in the slightest. It wasn't nice to meet new people unless it was on her terms, and she hadn't expected Damon to be there. The irony of the fact that she purposefully hadn't looked at the plaque was enough to make her seethe a bit but she shoved the feeling aside. She liked Ric and Ric apparently liked Damon, so she'd give Damon a chance.

Besides, he had spunk. She liked spunk.

Hopping off Ric's lap, she spun on her heel and strode back to the replaced grating. Pulling it down once more, she hauled a black backpack out of the shaft and slung it over one shoulder. "Since you don't want me using the vents," she said simply as she replaced the grate and strode to the double doors leading out to the balcony. Pulling them open, she took a few steps back then turned to look at the duo with a mischievous grin on her face that was just off-center enough to almost make someone nervous.

"I'll take the quick way down. My car's around back."

Then she turned and ran through the now open doors, leapt into the air, perched for a split second on the edge of the railing before doing a rather spectacular swan dive into thin air. Only being two stories up, it wasn't hard to maneuver herself so she smoothly caught a branch from a tree growing close enough to grab, swung around, then dropped smoothly to the ground below. Not bad, she decided, considering she hadn't had the first clue what she was going to do when she'd jumped.

With a smile and slight bounce in her step, she stuffed her hands inside the pockets of her leather jacket and made her way around the side of the building to where her car was waiting for her.

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itsnotinme
2010-12-23 09:42 pm UTC (link)

Damon blinked, surprised by the sudden and unexpected action, and followed her to the balcony, peering over the edge with a surprise that she hadn't at least sprained something with that little show. Girl was definitely a special brand of crazy. Damon wasn't really sure whether it was a dangerous brand, yet, but, well, if that turned out to be the fact, he was hardly the one in trouble in this situation.

Glancing back over his shoulder at Ric, Damon snorted, shaking his head, "I don't know whether to be concerned, jealous, or impressed. I think we'll just settled for a little of all three," He said before turning back to the balcony and hefting himself over the edge and dropping with ease to the ground below. "Have fun taking the long way down!" Damon called back up to Ric, giving him a slight wave, before turning on his heels to follow the batshit blonde.

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-24 04:02 pm UTC (link)

Alaric was wholly unsurprised as Parker jumped off the railing without so much as a thought. He almost felt like he ought to have held up a scorecard or something. It was, after all, a pretty impressive jump. Then Damon had to be an ass and jump after her, calling up that he should have fun taking the long way. Screw that. There was no way he was taking the stairs. He wasn't about to give Damon the satisfaction.

His jump didn't have anything approaching the finesse of Parker's, but he landed on his feet without injury. His knees would hate him later, but he felt oddly energized. Walking over to Damon, he patted him on the shoulder. "You seriously think I've never jumped out a second story window? I did go to college, and not that long ago." Walking past him, he caught up to Parker, wondering how Damon would react to the probably hotwiring of her car and the speed at which she drove.

"So," he said cheerfully, "where are we going?"

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-24 04:44 pm UTC (link)

Just because Parker didn't seem to always be aware of things around her, and certainly didn't have a normal reaction to, well, pretty much anything, didn't mean she wasn't actually paying attention. She was. In her line of work, she always had to be paying attention. Which meant she had noticed Damon's slip-up on the network about being a vampire, and Alaric's seeming knowledge of it. So it really was no great surprise when Damon leapt off the balcony after her and, honestly, Parker wasn't all that shocked when Alaric jumped off after them. After all, humans who hung around supernatural creatures weren't usually very normal themselves.

Just look at her.

Of course, Parker knew she wasn't the one to compare to what was normal. Just like she knew that both Damon and Alaric would agree to what she had in mind to do. Partially because it directly involved them and partially because it was new, and in this city, anyone with any sort of common sense leapt at every new opportunity that came along. Especially when it involved you directly.

Reaching her car, she finally responded to the question she'd been asked as she hefted herself over the door and into the vehicle.

"Library," she stated simply as she reached beneath the steering column and began touching wires. A heartbeat later her engine revved to life and she grinned as she re-settled herself into her seat. "They have your books. You're both going to want them," she added. Her gaze cut from Alaric to Damon and she shrugged as she reached for her seatbelt.

"A lot."

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