InsaneJournal

parker succeeds by stealing the success of others (inafivepoundbag) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2010-12-18 14:26:00

Entry tags:

alaric saltzman, parker

WHO: Alaric and Parker
WHAT: Breaking Out of Handcuffs 101. No, seriously.
WHEN: Right after this.
WHERE: The alley beside the police station, to start.
RATING: TBD
STATUS: In Progress

Although it wasn't the first time Parker had been arrested, it was definitely the first time that she had willingly remained in the jail cell for more than a few seconds after it became painfully easy for her to break out. The only reason she had stayed this time around was because the man she'd beaten up had also been arrested and she had wanted to see where they were going to stick the guy. However after a couple of hours, when it became obvious the local cops weren't quite dumb enough to put the guy in the same cell she was in, Parker decided it was time to go. So she'd scheduled a meeting with Alaric, warned the cops watching her that she would be leaving in a few minutes, then had done precisely that.

Less than ten minutes later, Parker was rappelling off the roof of the police department, a few errant strands of her blond hair waving wildly in the wind as she dropped the few dozen stories before coming to a stop a few feet from the ground. Dangling for a heartbeat, casting a glance around the alley, she spotted Alaric and grinned broadly. With a wave, she dropped the remaining few feet to the ground, her boots making a muffled thump as they landed on the cold pavement. With the sound of voices growing louder as the front door of the police station was opened less than ten feet away, Parker wasted no time with pleasantries. She simply grabbed the man by the front of his shirt, hauled him close, and pressed her lips against his right as the cops went rushing past the entrance of the alley. Once the coast was clear, she released him and took a step back, unhooking herself from her harness.

"I'm Parker, nice to meet you," she greeted him perkily before giving him a mischievous grin and pulling a pair of handcuffs out of her pocket. "Ready to be locked up?"

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-19 12:22 am UTC (link)

There were a lot of things Alaric expected out of a meeting with Parker, even though he really didn't know her. Ric really didn't worry much when it came to situations like this. Between his ring and the vervain he always kept on hand, he had a hard time really feeling intimidated by anything. He knew that was a dangerous mindset to fall into, especially if he started relying on the ring too much, but it was better than the deathwish he'd had before he got over Isobel. He wasn't sure why it had suddenly been so easy to move past his feelings for Isobel, but he supposed seeing the bitch she had become helped a lot. Anyway, there were a lot of things he expected from a meeting with a stranger who had told him she was in jail, especially a meeting involving handcuffs.

What he hadn't expected was to be dragged into a frankly very nice kiss by the blonde. He almost pushed her away, then decided to just go with it. After all, there had to be a reason for it. She didn't exactly strike him as the kind of person who just randomly kissed strangers for fun, and he had no illusions that he was so appealing that women would just throw themselves at him. He caught a glimpse of police officers going by out of the corner of his eye and worked the rest out for himself. That made sense then. He kissed back more realistically, then moved away once the police were gone. "That's..." he trailed off, "a very nice harness."

"I'm Ric," he said with a smile. "Well...Alaric. But Ric's less ridiculous." He laughed. "Maybe we can go somewhere other than an alley outside a police station? They're probably still looking for you, after all."

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-19 02:18 am UTC (link)

Parker gave a nod of her head at his answer. "Yeah, Alaric's pretty awful. If I were you, I'd still be pretty ticked with my folks," she agreed. Glancing toward the front of the alley as though the mention of the police might make them appear, she shrugged, put the handcuffs away, and looked back to him. "Suit yourself. This way."

Turning abruptly on her heel, she made her way further into the alleyway, exiting out the other side and making a sharp right. Just up ahead was her car. Parker glanced up and down the street, saw no one in sight, and jogged up to it without so much as a backward glance to see if Alaric was following or not. Climbing in with the door still closed, she finally looked in his direction and tipped her head toward the passenger seat while reaching beneath the steering column and touching the two wires together that made the engine rev to life.

"Hop in," she encouraged with a grin before turning her attention to adjusting her mirrors.

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-19 04:01 am UTC (link)

"It's a family name," Ric said with an easy smile, "belonging to a very dead great-grandfather. I thank him every day for that little gift." It was easy to loosen up with Parker, because she was so unlike normal people, or even the people he normally dealt with. She was interesting and, though he had no idea what it was about her, he liked her.

Following her out of the alley, he gave a low whistle of appreciation at the sight of the car. "Nice," he said. Something about the way she was with the car said it was definitely hers, not liberated from someone else. And he felt a little bad that a small part of him at least considered she'd stolen the car before she got in. "Aston Martin? You've got good taste." He shook his head, startled into laughter when she proceeded to hotwire her own car. "Forget your key or just more fun that way?"

He opened the passenger door, sliding in and putting on his seatbelt. Damon would probably lecture him for taking risks by getting in the woman's car, but it really was a nice car. Could you blame him for wanting a ride in it?

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-19 03:26 pm UTC (link)

"I never use my key," Parker explained with a small shrug of her shoulders, as though that one simple statement more than covered why she didn't use her key. Then again, the statement of it being more fun the other way was pretty spot-on so she saw no reason to elaborate beyond it. Instead she pulled on her own seatbelt before pulling away from the curb with a squealing of tires.

The average speed of travel for the less busy streets throughout Colligo tended to be about 40 to 45 MPH. That gave people more than enough time to tap the brakes should someone walk out in front of them or if one of the streetlights that were admittedly few and far between should suddenly turn red. Parker, however, did not own one of the fastest cars to currently exist because she wanted to go an average speed. So rather than cruising along in a way that made it a nice ride in a very nice car, instead the duo went whipping past shops at speeds that made the people standing out front look like little more than blurs.

Although she didn't take her eyes off the road, Parker also didn't make the ride in complete silence. By the time they'd reached the second of four lights they'd need to go through before she turned off the stretch of road they were on, she was offering a touch more of an explanation.

"I know a guy in impound," she stated, voice raised loudly enough to be heard over the roar of the wind whipping past. "We have a deal. I don't touch the merchandise on his shift, he keeps my car out of his lot." She did look away from the road then, casting a grin in Ric's direction, before jerking the wheel hard to the left to make a turn they were nearly past. Dropping the car into neutral, Parker slammed on her brakes and continued to cut the wheel. The smell of burning rubber filled the air, the squeal of the tires almost deafening, as the car began to spin tightly in a circle.

A heartbeat later they came to a stop. The smoke slowly cleared, the silence that followed was almost deafening and, should Ric look, he would likely notice that the car was now parked perfectly parallel with the curb in a space with a sign that clearly read "Employee Parking Only". Disconnecting the wires to turn off the engine, Parker glanced back to Ric.

"This is Crowley's casino. You're okay with being chained up at a casino, right?" Because hey, you never knew. Some people might have issues with that sort of thing. It was a strange world, after all.

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-20 06:26 am UTC (link)

"Fair enough," he said, putting a mental check mark down in the 'more fun' column. It was fairly obvious just from what little he'd observed about her. You didn't marry a psychology major, even a paranormal one, and not pick up a thing or two over the years. And even if that weren't true, dealing with high school students (and Damon...who had all the maturity of a high school student) every day gave him surprising insight into the human psyche.

And that was why, as he saw Parker put her seatbelt on, he quickly snapped his into place. Parker didn't seem like the kind of person who minded risks, so if she was taking the time to put on a seatbelt, he probably needed one too. And he was quickly proven right as she sped down the streets of the city. He felt a strange mix of terror and exhilaration and it made him feel more alive than he had in a while. He knew it was probably bad that it took a rush of adrenaline to feel completely alive again, but it had been a rough few months, a rough few years if he was honest, so he wasn't going to start seeing a shrink about it. His dead wife had turned out to be not so much dead as a vampire, he was best friends with the guy who had slept with her, turned her and killed him (albeit temporarily), and he taught history in a town full of vampires, werewolves and witches, most of whom were less of a danger than the "normal" people.

"That sounds like a pretty good deal," he shouted back, bringing his attention back to the situation and away from his pathetic musings. He grinned back at her. "So...you're a thief then? Or should I toss an allegedly in there for the sake of plausible deniability? I'm not all that sure how this works." He held on tight as the car spun around, and then they were stopped. Parked actually. She had parked the car like that. "Damn," he said, his tone clearly impressed. "That was...damn."

"I'm okay with being chained up in a casino," he confirmed. Then paused. He didn't know her very well yet, but he got the feeling absolute statements were a bad idea. "Well...I guess it depends on where in the casino. Where are we doing this?"

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-20 07:20 am UTC (link)

Parker flashed him a grin before reaching over and patting him on his knee. "You're learning. Good. And my office." Unbuckling her seatbelt, she hoisted herself up so she was perched on the top of the doorframe before swinging her legs around and sliding fully out of the car. "Since Crowley made me promise no more chaining people to the Roulette Wheel, at any rate," she tacked on with a shake of her head and faint snort. Glancing over her shoulder at Ric, she motioned for him to follow then turned back to the casino and made her way inside.

Leading him through the doors, across the lobby, and into the sea of gamblers all spread about at the various tables and slot machines. She nodded at a few of the dealers, waved merrily at one of the security guards in the corner, and waited until she and Ric were alone in an elevator near the rear of the main gambling area before speaking again. The moment the doors closed, though, she turned to him and wasted no time in explaining, "I'm a thief. It's what I do, it's what I'm good at, and plausible deniability went out the window when I wracked up my ninth warrant off U.S. soil. I also work here, for Crowley, because it's fun and he gives me money and he doesn't have that pesky moral compass that normal people have." The doors to the elevator slid open and she stepped off, motioning in the direction of a plain door up ahead that led to her office. Pausing once they'd reached it, she looked back up at Ric with an impish grin.

"And if you don't pay attention and can't get out of the cuffs, he's not going to help you bust out either, and neither would Cas or Eliot and no one else will come into my office, so make sure you focus because I get bored with stupid people really easily." Opening the door to reveal the room behind it, Parker stepped through the threshold and held out the handcuffs so they were dangling off on finger.

"Last chance to change your mind..."

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-20 05:54 pm UTC (link)

The comment about the roulette wheel made Alaric laugh as he followed her, shaking his head slightly. It probably wasn't good that he was already getting used to Parker's particular brand of eccentricity. "The roulette wheel, huh?" he said. "You handcuff strangers to roulette wheels often then?" It was a fair question to ask. "We can save it for another time. I'm still a beginner to this after all." Yes, he was definitely implying that Parker hadn't scared him off yet and that he fully intended to hang out with her more.

He followed her through the crowds in the casino, noting that most of the patons seemed to be locals rather than captives but staying silent until they were in the elevator. He listened to her explanation and nodded. "All right then," he said. What? His closest friend, and probably only friend who wasn't a student or his maybe-girlfriend, was a vampire. He seriously wasn't going to judge her for being a thief. That would be really narrow-minded. Besides, he'd met her outside a jail where she used him as a distraction to hide from the police, after telling him she was an escape artist and offering to teach him to get out of handcuffs. He'd have been an idiot to think she wasn't involved in illegal activities. And he wasn't an idiot, no matter what Damon might sometimes claim. "I'm a history teacher by day, vampire hunter by night. I won't tell if you won't."

When they got to her office and she explained that nobody would let him out if he didn't pay attention, he nodded. "Well, I can't promise I'll get it on the first try, or that I'll be as good as you," he said, "but I'll try my best and I like to think I'm not stupid, so hopefully you won't get bored." She offered him one last chance to back out, and he shook his head. "Why would I change my mind? This is awesome."

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-20 07:11 pm UTC (link)

With a broad grin that most would take almost as a warning rather than a sign of pleasure, Parker stepped aside to allow him entrance into her office. As soon as he was inside, she shut the door and twisted the deadbolt into place before turning to face him.

The office itself wasn't anything too remarkable. A simple desk, a comfortable looking chair with wheels on the legs, and a loveseat against the wall. There was a bookshelf containing various oddities that were most certainly not books and a plant that was positioned in front of the window, on its very own table. The only truly strange thing - which wasn't strange at all when you considered whose office it was - was a pair of workout rings hanging from the ceiling in one corner. Otherwise the rest of the room appeared to be almost passingly normal, save the odds and ends in lieu of books and any personally identifying items.

It was, perhaps, Parker's least favorite room in the entire casino.

However she'd meant what she'd said. Very few had the nerve to come into her office and even those who did tended to have a good reason. Since she hadn't done anything recently enough to earn their attention, as going to jail for a few hours certainly didn't count, she knew no one would be popping by unexpectedly. So it was a good place to chain someone up, as far as she was concerned, and the grin she shot Alaric more than said she was ready to get started.

"Sit," she said, nodding toward the loveseat. Moving to the closet near the bookshelf, she opened it and hauled out a straight-backed, plain wooden kitchen chair. She placed it in the center of the room so, when she sat, she had her back to the loveseat. Sliding her hands through the slabs that made up the back of the chair, she glanced over her shoulder at her temporary student.

"Now watch," she stated before expertly sliding the handcuffs into place. A few seconds later the cuffs slid off, still locked, and she turned in the chair with an arched brow. "Need to see it again?" she asked curiously. "It's okay if you do. I won't judge."

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-21 07:28 pm UTC (link)

Alaric wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it wasn't this. There was something all too normal about the office, even with the little oddities, and it just didn't seem to suit Parker. It was weird how he felt like he knew her already, but he just did. "I kind of pictured something a little different," he admitted. "This is so..." He trailed off before he said normal, getting the sense that she'd probably find the word choice insulting. Not, as most people would, because of the implication that she wasn't normal, but because it suggested that something belonging to her was. And Parker was as far from normal, or wanting to be, as you could get. It was part of her charm.

He sat down on the loveseat at her command, watching the demonstration with all the attention he wanted, but never actually expected or received, from his students. Even so he had no idea how she had done that and he started to think this day would end with him handcuffed to a chair and trapped in her office forever. And wouldn't that be awkward to explain to Damon. The vampire would never live it down if he had to rescue him from that situation.

Thankfully, Parker asked him if he needed to see it again, and he nodded. "Yes," he said immediately. "I mean...that was impressive, but I have no idea how you actually did it." And it went without saying that he didn't really want to fumble blindly through getting out of handcuffs. He imagined that wouldn't be a very successful way of doing things and would probably end in Parker giving up on him.

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-22 03:59 am UTC (link)

Parker nodded and once more slid the cuffs into place. "You just twist your wrist," she explained in a surprisingly patient tone, "until it almost breaks. Then you rotate your elbow," she continued to walk him through each step as she performed it, "until it's turned in like this. And then you just pull. See? Easy." She pulled her hands free once again then turned in the chair so she was looking directly at him.

"Handcuffs aren't perfectly symmetrical. Each cuff has an arch in the casing to allow for the oval shape of wrists," she said. "When you're twisting, you'll feel them start to move. As soon as the arch touches closest to your thumbs on both sides, that's when the handcuffs are at their weakest." She shrugged ever so slightly, because it was as easily understood as breathing was for her, then tossed the handcuffs at him and hopped to her feet.

"Okay, your turn. Figure out the tricky way, then I'll teach you how to take them off with a watch."

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-22 06:49 am UTC (link)

Alaric watched the demonstration with interest, glad that she was going slower this time so that he could follow along. He made mental notes throughout her explanation, committing it all to memory. If there was one thing he was good at, it was remembering things. It was something of an asset for a historian. It was interesting, to see the changes in Parker when she was teaching someone. She was calm, patient and clearly knowledgeable about the subject. He'd always had a thing for competence, and if she were another kind of girl, he probably would have had a crush. Luckily, she wasn't.

He sat down on the chair like she had, allowing her to cuff his wrists, then focused on what she had told him. It didn't come naturally, it wasn't really simple to think about the mechanics when his arms were out of sight behind his back, and it certainly wasn't as quick as it had been for her. He stopped, making himself focus, then went through the steps methodically.

Twist. Rotate. Pull. He felt what she'd been talking about, both the ache in his wrists that said he was twisting them almost too far and the feel of the hancuff's arch touching his thumbs, and he pulled. It was almost a surprise when it worked, but he felt accomplished all the same. "Wow..." He said, bringing his hands back in front of him and tossing the handcuffs back to her. "That was...so cool."

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-23 06:06 pm UTC (link)

Parker's grin had started out small, barely noticeable, but had broadened quite a bit by the time he'd managed to get out of the cuffs. Clapping her hands together much as a small child would do when pleased - even bouncing a bit on the balls of her feet as she did so - she exclaimed "Yay!" in a merry tone before pulling a watch out of her pocket that she'd snagged off her desk while he'd been working on breaking free.

"Put this on," she said, tossing him the rather expensive piece of jewelry that she'd used as a prop in more than one con since her arrival at Colligo. It was amazing how many bad men would agree that watch was theirs when a cute blond, typically in a short skirt, showed up at their office asking if they'd left it somewhere the night before.

"Then hands behind your back again. I'll walk you through this one." Mainly because Parker didn't have a watch that was small enough to fit her wrists and because, as much as she enjoyed showing off, this way really was best learned through practice.

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likevanhelsing
2010-12-23 06:28 pm UTC (link)

Alaric smiled as Parker clapped like a small child. The "yay" almost provoked a laugh, but he didn't want her to think he was making fun of her. That definitely wasn't the case. He liked Parker and, after that little lesson, he definitely respected her skills. He wasn't sure anyone else could have taught him that quite so easily.

He caught the watch when she threw it, trying not to think about how expensive it probably was. "All right," he said, slipping it on to his wrist. He wasn't sure how this would help him get out of handcuffs, but he was more than willing to defer to Parker's wisdom on the subject of escapology. History was his forte, and he'd be happy to debate wars and historical events, but when it came to this, he was just going to listen and do what he was told.

Ric put his hands behind his back and waited until the handcuffs were on to look at Parker. "Okay, sensei," he said calmly, more calmly than most people would be while handcuffed. But she'd helped him get out once, and he was pretty sure she would again. "What do I do now?"

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inafivepoundbag
2010-12-26 07:24 pm UTC (link)

Her smile widened and she snorted at Alaric calling her sensei. She had to admit, she was enjoying herself more than she thought she might. Normally trying to show an adult some of the tools of her trade was more irksome than fun as most adults tended to be so set in their ways, and so judgmental of her, that they weren't willing to listen. Alaric, though, seemed to be paying attention in a way that Parker typically only received from children, Cas, and Hardison. In her mind's eye, where she kept everyone she knew categorized into specific groups based on how she knew them and how they acted around her, she shifted the man from 'casual acquaintance' to 'possible friend'.

"Remove, grab, stick, lift, pop," she said next. She was answering his question as to what to do, of course, but with how randomly she made the statement she realized - a bit belatedly - that he might not realize that. Circling the chair so she could eye his progress from all angles, she elaborated without even having to be prompted.

"Remove the watch, grab the buckle, stick the little piece that holds your watch in place in the hole, lift the buckle, pop open the cuffs," she explained. She knew that was probably too much, too fast, even if she didn't understand why everyone couldn't get out of handcuffs as easily as she did.

"First," she stated patiently, "take off the watch and make sure you don't drop it. Take your time, feel along the band, make sure you can see it inside your head." Honestly, when it came to this way, this was the trickiest part. It was why Parker never used this particular method even though she knew, with enough practice, it was by far the easiest.

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