InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Fuzzy wuzzy wuz a bear..."

Cas, former angel of go-fuck-yourself (bangafewgongs) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2010-09-07 00:28:00

Entry tags:

!@event, !closed, *log, castiel (end!verse), dean winchester (end!verse)

Who: Genderswapped!Cas and Dean of the End~~less~~!verse.
What: Ha! Genderswap!
Where: Dean's room.
When: Now.
Rating: TBD.
Status: In progress.

Cas hadn't just noticed that he...she...fuck it, he was going with she for now...hadn't noticed that she was female. She'd noticed a half hour before when it had first happened. In that half hour, she'd become good friends with one of the bottles of absinthe. Very good friends. It was weird, looking like Jade but not, but this place was chock full of weird so she was kind of used to it. She'd finally texted Dean and his response had her making a face and storming over to his room. The angry storming might have had more affect if she'd been wearing more than a shirt that was not way too big for her.

"The fuckers stole my cock!" she snapped as she opened the door. "When I say problem, I mean problem, jackass!" She stood there with her hands on her hips, glaring at him. "I'm not drunk enough for this shit!"

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toolateforme
2010-09-07 05:27 am UTC (link)

To his credit, Dean managed to hold off for almost a full minute before he reacted. Of course, that was mostly to do with the fact that the woman standing in his doorway looked incredibly like one of his occasional roommates, in a state of dress that only featured in the rare guilty wet dream. Once the words, posture, and slightly drunk inflection registered, and Dean reconciled the word 'cock' with people who actually felt comfortable screaming at him like that, he caught on.

It was Cas. With tits. With Jade's tits. What the Hell?

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a loud, shameless laugh. He had the decency to put his hand over his mouth, if only to protect his jaw from the punch he half expected to find its way to his face. But really- what else could he say to that?

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bangafewgongs
2010-09-07 06:28 am UTC (link)

He was laughing. The fucker was laughing. Cas wanted to scream, Dean was pissing her off so much. Ducking down, she picked up a shoe off the floor and threw it at him. It seemed the appropriate response to his jackassery. And yes, it was a fucking word. She said so.

"This," she said firmly, pointing a finger at him, "is not fucking funny! So stop laughing." She was honestly a little worried that if he kept this up, she'd start crying or something equally girly. And then she'd just have to go kill herself. Because she may have been girl-shaped right now, but she was not a girl, feminine pronouns aside.

"I hope this happens to you!" she said, crossing her arms. "And if it does, I'm going to laugh at you."

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toolateforme
2010-09-08 04:32 am UTC (link)

Dean only just managed to keep the boot from breaking his nose. It managed to stop the laughter, his amused smile quickly dropping into an annoyed glare. Or, at least, he tried to be annoyed. But Cas being so indignant, pointing her dainty finger at him, had the corners of his mouth twitching right back up.But the time she stopped shouting, he was chuckling again, an incredulous look on his face.

"Cas. You have tits." Thank you, Captain Obvious. "If I had tits, you'd be doing a Hell of a lot more than just laughing." A beat, and then down to business. "...How did you end up with Jade's..." A hand wave, unsure if he would just make things worse by using the word 'tits' again, and having the sense to want to avoid another boot to the face.

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bangafewgongs
2010-09-08 06:21 am UTC (link)

Sometimes Cas really hated Dean. Okay, that wasn't true, because Cas had given up everything for the guy and probably would have loved him or something stupid like that if she'd thought she was remotely capable of it. But that didn't change the fact that she really wanted to punch the man in the face sometimes. Like now for instance. Yes, she had tits? What was the big fucking deal?

"Yes, Dean," she said, rolling her eyes. "I have tits." Giving him a frustrated look, she pulled the shirt up over her head, leaving her in just a pair of underwear she'd stolen from Jade's drawer. "Thank you for pointing that out to me. I never would have noticed if you hadn't said something! Now what the hell are we going to do to fix this?"

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toolateforme
2010-09-08 06:39 am UTC (link)

Any other day, Cas trying to tell Dean off while almost naked wouldn't have been anything to balk at. The guy wasn't really fond of clothes, when he didn't have to wear them. And it wasn't like it was anything Dean hadn't seen before. Now, however, Dean was caught between the knee-jerk reaction of gawking at the female body in front of him, and the knowledge that it was both nearly identical to their mutual friend's, and that it was currently housing his very pissed-off second-in command slash occasional fuck buddy.

Wait. Cas had asked about what they were doing to fix it. What were they fixing? He squeezed his eyes shut, half wince, half an attempt to concentrate. "Way I see it, your choices are either drink until things sound more reasonable, go punch your dad in the face again, or find a really good surgeon. Personally, I'm voting option A," If the way his eyes were lingering on her body again was any indication, it wasn't exactly altruism swaying his decision.

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bangafewgongs
2010-09-08 07:10 am UTC (link)

It was hard for Cas to maintain anger. She was good at getting angry, that was for sure, but staying angry took effort that she just didn't have. "You're completely useless," she informed Dean, walking over to his bed and flopping down on it. "Thinking about fucking isn't actually going to get me my cock back. And while I'm sure the sex would be awesome, I really miss my cock."

She reached over to the bedside table where she kept some of her pot, and rolled a joint, lighting it and taking a drag. "I already had absinthe," she said, "so option A it is." She didn't expect anything from Dean. He was used to her mood swings by now. If he wasn't, he clearly hadn't been paying attention the last few years.

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toolateforme
2010-09-10 07:49 pm UTC (link)

Cas starting to relax did wonders for Dean's own outburst, and once she was settled on the bed, he set his phone aside and reached for his beer. He took a drink, watching Cas roll the joint with a mildly interested look. Her hands were smaller, thinner, something. Jade's hands. That was still kind of- okay, really fucking weird. About that.

"Is Jade still herself, do you know?" It wasn't that the comment about sex had gone over his head. Oh, no. But letting himself get too distracted with that, with Cas this sober, was just likely to cause violence. And not the fun kind. Business first, bad ideas later.

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