Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I feel sullied & unusual"

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

ladyoflegend ([info]ladyoflegend) wrote in [info]colligo_threads,
@ 2010-08-11 01:39:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!closed, #complete, marian of locksley, robin hood

WHO: Marian and Robin
WHAT: Going back to normal...
WHEN: Before lunch the day after their text conversation
WHERE: Their apartment
RATING: Not too High
STATUS: Complete

She had left the apartment with whatever she could fit in a handbag, which really was just enough to do her a night. And she knew she would have to face him at some point despite her numbness. She still could not understand where all this had surfaced from, given the fact that they had been perfectly happy. They had waited long enough to marry and now he was regretting it? Did not want to be married, but still wanted to be with her. Did he honestly have no clue how this would change things? She shook her head as she walked to the building, trying her best to hold back tears. She would not let him see her cry, or would at least try not to let him see.

Fishing her keys out her bag, she put them into open the door, taking a deep breath as she did so. She couldn't stay long, not if she wanted to avoid everything. Maybe if she ignored it for long enough then it would all get better. She just had to get some clothes first. She just hoped he was working and she could get out of here before he returned.


(Post a new comment)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 01:01 am UTC (link)
When Robin woke up that morning, Marian was gone. He wasn't too concerned right away. She might have simply gone to get something for breakfast. She had done that before when there had been nothing in the kitchen that suited. It wasn't until after he had showered and dressed that he started to get concerned, as he started to notice other things that he should have previously. Her side of the bed had not been slept in, and one of her bags was gone. She had not been home.

Had something happened? Had he upset her somehow? He went over their most recent conversations in his mind, but could recall nothing that would have done it. The two texts he sent her got him no reply, and just as he was considering leaving to go look for her, he heard a key turn in the lock.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 01:07 am UTC (link)
Walking into the apartment took more courage than it really should but she was trying to take this one step at a time. Closing the door, she stared at it for a moment before turning and jumping, a small scream leaving her lips. She hadn't seen Robin there when she walked in and it took a moment for the shock of his appearance to give way to that painful feeling in her chest and the churning in her stomach.

"I just have to get some things," she mumbled.

With that, she dropped her eyes to the floor and clutched her bag close to her. She would need a bigger one to get more clothes in she just had to hope they had one. Without looking at him, she started to walk to the bedroom, tensing as she moved past him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 01:15 am UTC (link)
The immense relief he felt at seeing her was short lived when the little scream escaped her. She looked...worried to see him? As if she had been hoping to avoid it. Frowning, he took a step closer, but could not ask what was wrong before she had spoken. Get some things? Why did she have to get things, and why was she being so quiet?

"Marian, where were you?" He received no answer as she had already begun to move away. The way she tensed as she moved past him hurt. She had never reacted to his presence like that before. Catching up with her when she reached the bedroom, he stood just inside the door.

"What's wrong?" He didn't understand what was going on, but he felt he was entitled to some answers.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 01:25 am UTC (link)
She barely heard his question as she walked into the bedroom, putting the bag she had on the bed before looking for a bigger one. When she did she moved straight to the wardrobe and pulled out a few things. She wasn't aware of him being there until he questioned her again. Was he really asking that? Turning to face him she was very aware her gaze was not a nice one. It was easier to show the anger than the hurt.

"Don't act the fool."

Going back to the clothes she had, she shoved them in the bag with little care before checking in there was anything hanging up she desperately needed. When she had what she would need, her hand brushing her wedding dress as she double checked, she closed the door and moved to the drawers that held her underwear and tops and shirts.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 01:30 am UTC (link)
He watched numbly as she began pulling clothes from the wardrobe. He had absolutely no idea what was going on. She was taking enough clothes to indicate that she meant to stay away for more than just one night. He shook his head, ready to ask her again when she turned to face him. He very nearly took a step backward at the look on her face. She had not looked at him like that since they had come to this place. He could hardly recall the last time.

"Fool? Fool about what?" His frustration was evident in his tone. He couldn't have disguised it if he tried. All he had was confusion, and her anger.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 01:38 am UTC (link)
She slammed the drawer shut at his question, dumping ths few shirts she had grabbed into the bag before looking to him. She could feel tears in the back of her eyes but she was fighting them with everything she had. She had to keep being angry, angry he could see. He couldn't see how much this was killing her.

"You know what!"

She couldn't say it but thought actions might speak louder than words. Grabbing the underwear she would need, she zipped up the bag and picked it up along with her handbag. She already had the toiletries she would need. Shifting both bags on her shoulder, she looked to her wedding ring before pulling it off.

"You don't want to stay married then you'll be wanting this back," she told him as she placed it into his palm before pushing past him. She just had to get out of here.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 01:46 am UTC (link)
He flinched when she slammed the drawer, not expecting it. He had not seen this sort of anger in her since after he had first returned from the Holy Land. Only this time he was unaware of what he had done to cause it. It didn't make any sense at all.

"No, I don't!" He retorted, watching as she picked up both her bags, getting ready to leave. His eyes widened in disbelief when she pulled the wedding ring from her finger. What in the hell was going on?

His fingers curled around the ring automatically when she placed it in his palm. "Marian what are you talking about?!" Turning, he reached out and grabbed her arm before she could walk away. Once she stopped, though, he released it, his voice lowering, his tone pleading, desperate. He didn't know what was going on, but he couldn't watch her leave. "You can't just walk away."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 01:52 am UTC (link)
She wanted to keep going and just forget this had happened. She would never be able to forget, but she could at least try and occupy her mind with something else. But then his hand was curling around her arm and stopping her from going anywhere. It took her a moment to turn, feel the warmth of his skin seeping through to hers, and when she eventually did look at him she immediately dropped her gaze. That was until he spoke once more.

"What?!" Her eyes were back on his, stinging with unshed tears that were so close to falling and she suddenly didn't care if they did any more. He deserved to know what this was going to her. "I really mean that little to you that you think ending our marriage would make me want to stay? I can't just stay knowing you don't want me here."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 01:57 am UTC (link)
"Ending our marriage? Marian, what...?" He couldn't finish the sentence, completely bewildered. What was she talking about, where had this come from? Just the other day, they had been making plans for all of the things that they could do, together, in this place. And now she was leaving him. And saying that it was his doing.

"How could you say that I don't want you here," his voice had dropped to a loud whisper, his tone hurt. He could feel tears of frustration and hurt building, but he wouldn't let them fall. Whatever was going on, whatever excuses she was making for what she was doing, he would not give her that satisfaction.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 06:53 am UTC (link)
"You said to me yesterday. I still have the messages you sent to me, you...you said you had changed your mind."

She couldn't deal with this, she had to get out. The tears that she had been holding back were quickly pooling in her eyes and she just wanted to run. He had already hurt her and now he was acting as if she was making it all up.

"Robin...Robin please stop this," she said quietly, unsure if she meant the keeping her hear to acting as if nothing had happened. Because all she knew was how numb she felt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 06:58 am UTC (link)
He could only stare back at her, completely bewildered. "I never sent you any messages." He had been at work, and then he had come home...what had happened then? He realised that oddly he couldn't really remember what had happened after that? Had Marian been here? No, she couldn't have. He must have been tired, and gone to bed. That's why he'd forgotten.

"Stop what? Marian I don't understand." The look on her face was killing him. She wanted to be away from him, and he could not bear that thought. Taking a step back, he crossed his arms, leaning against the edge of the door.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 07:06 am UTC (link)
"I have them on my phone, Robin. Why else do you think I couldn't stay at home and see you? I..."

She couldn't say those words, not when she was unssure if he felt them too. She looked away when she felt those tears she had felt burning her eyes start to run down her cheeks. She had hoped she had cried enough last night. Lifting her hand, she quickly wiped at her eyes but that didn't stop them falling.

"Stop...all this. You said you did not think we need to be married!" She took a step back when he let her go. "I don't understand, how could you say that then act as if nothing is wrong? How could you hurt me like that?"

Her tone was far from angry any more, simply showed the hurt and confusion she was feeling.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 07:14 am UTC (link)
"Marian, I never sent you any messages!" How could she keep saying that? Accusing him of doing something he hadn't done. Was it her way of making herself feel better, for taking off her wedding ring, and trying to walk out on him? He didn't think she could be so cowardly.

He shook his head at her continued words. "I would never intentionally hurt you. You know I wouldn't. Why are you saying this? What's changed to make you do this?" He had never been able to stand seeing her cry, and yet at the moment, he could not work out why she was. She was acting as if she had done nothing wrong. His fingers were clenched tightly around the ring still in his hand.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 07:21 am UTC (link)
"Yes you did!" she almost screamed those words in response.

How dare he act such a way? Act as if this was all her doing, like she had imagined this. He was acting just like the Robin she loved, not the Robin who told her it was over last night. She dropped the bigger bag to the floor, not able to hold that weight right now.

"You changed! I told you I wanted to stay married and you said you didn't! Robin, I want you and I love you, I would never make something like this up! I would never walk away from you had you not hurt me so much!"

Walking away from him she lowered herself onto the couch, head in her hands, before dropping the small bag to her feet. She had to go, but she had already told him what she did not want to, not when she thought he felt nothing for her. She just could not do this right now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 07:29 am UTC (link)
He didn't know what to say in response to such a sudden outburst from her. What scared him was how sure she sounded. He was always joking with her that he could tell when she was lying. But joking aside, he felt that he always had a fairly good idea. And right now, she was not lying. Or at least, she did not think she was lying.

He wasn't going to let her simply walk away from this, and when she walked to the couch and sat down, he followed. Kneeling in front of her, he took her wrists, not caring if she protested, pulling her hands away from her face to make her look at him. "Marian, listen to what you're saying. I asked you to marry me. I said that I wanted it to happen. How many times have I told you now that I love you? I wouldn't take that back. What possible reason could I have?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 07:34 am UTC (link)
She was too numb right now to care much when he pulled her hands away from her eyes. But she couldn't look at him, not at first. It was not until he started to speak that she managed to look to him. She was right to not want to, doing so made every inch of her ache.

"But you said. You said we did not need to be married."

She was getting so confused, so much so she was beginning to doubt herself. She could feel the ring she had taken off still in his palm and digging into her wrists, but she didn't care.

"Robin..." she said quietly, almost like when she had been stabbed because it felt exactly like that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 01:10 pm UTC (link)
His eyes searched her face, worried by just how upset she was. With that in mind, he was glad she hadn't stopped him from moving her hands away.

"Marian I don't know why, or how you think that but...marrying you was the best thing I've ever done. Nothing has made me happier." Shifting his hand so that he was holding her ring between his thumb and forefinger, he took her left hand in his, sliding the ring back on to her finger.

Hearing her say his name like that was worse than any physical hurt could possibly be, and kneeling up higher, he put his arms around her, his face pressed close against her neck.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 01:17 pm UTC (link)
She knew she hadn't imagined the messages from him but maybe he had just had a moment of doubt and wanted to forget about it. Nodding, she sniffled a little before looking to the floor as she tried to stop herself from crying more. That was until she felt him take her hand and the coolness of the ring was slid onto her finger. Biting her lip, she looked to him just in time to see him rise and wrap his arms around her.

She clung to him, not wanting to let go just in case something happened. The tears were still flowing and she knew they would be soaking his shirt so she tried to pull away just for a second to wipe at her eyes and cheeks. But she didn't want to be away from him, so even that simple move seemed impossible.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 01:28 pm UTC (link)
He brushed a thumb under her cheek to wipe away a tear when she pulled back a little, though it was soon replaced by another. Pulling her close again, he wrapped his arms more tightly around her, rubbing her back soothingly with his palm.

"You should never doubt how much I love you, Marian." He spoke the words quietly, but with conviction. Seeing her pull the ring from her finger based on simple, supposed words had hurt more than he thought it could.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 01:32 pm UTC (link)
It was going to take her a few moments to calm her tears but for now she just let herself bury closer to Robin. How could she have even thought that he meant what he had said? She was not going to question him on it though that did not mean she would stop thinking about it. No one could forget being told their marriage would be ended.

"I love you," she mumbled quietly against his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

She didn't know what she was apologising for when she thought he would be the one to do any apologies but here she was begging for forgiveness.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 01:41 pm UTC (link)
"Shh," he murmured quietly, hand rising from her back to stroke gently over her hair. "It doesn't matter now." It did, he told himself, but what could he do? Accuse her of lying? Suggest she had been imagining things? He knew that in the same way that he was questioning her, she must be questioning him.

"I'm sorry that you thought I wanted this to end, even for a moment," he said as his hand continued to run slowly over her hair.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 01:46 pm UTC (link)
It did matter but she wasn't going to argue. Not when it felt like she was getting him back. She didn't want to risk him changing his mind again. So she just stayed quiet in his arms, letting her tears slowly start to stop. Her breath was still hitching, and her head had started to ache, but at least the tears were starting to disappear.

"You wont change your mind again?"

After all, that was what he had said. He had changed his mind. And if he changed his mind again she really did not know what she would do.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 02:02 pm UTC (link)
"I'm still not sure what made you think that I had, but I promise you that on this, I will never change my mind. Nothing could ever stop me from wanting to be married to you, Marian." A part of him was riled by the fact that she could even ask him that. She knew how he felt, didn't she?

Maybe she doubted it. Maybe he had been wrong in thinking so much had changed, and deep down she still blamed him for leaving for the Holy Land, and expected him to do it again. Leave her, even though he had said he regretted it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 02:06 pm UTC (link)
"Good," she said before laughing softly and pulling away, wiping at her eyes. "I should...go put my things away."

If she wasn't leaving then the best thing to do would be keep busy. Hopefully keeping busy would help her to forget everything that happened. She would find a moment alone to delete every message he had sent to her yesterday, but that could wait. She'd do that when he was busy.

But she couldn't go unpack until she moved, and for her to move he would have to step aside. And as much as she was still getting over this she didn't want to leave his side for a second.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 02:14 pm UTC (link)
The laughter seemed a strange reaction, but he was glad enough to hear it if it meant an end to her tears. "That can wait, can't it?" He asked, referring to putting her things away.

Moving up from his position kneeling in front of her, he sat beside her on the couch, but kept an arm around her, from the new place beside her, leaning in to the side of the chair.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 02:20 pm UTC (link)
"I guess. I at least should wash up."

But it would seem he just wanted her there as much as she wanted him by her side. Cleaning herself up could wait, as could the clothes and any painkillers she may need if her head started to ache more. Hopefully now that the tears had stop so would the head ache. So she cuddled up against him.

"You're not working today?"

It would be good if he wasn't, but she'd just find time to delete the messages later on. Unless she did so in front of him, let him see them.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-11 02:32 pm UTC (link)
"If you feel that you need to," he said reluctantly, though he didn't loosen his hold or move at all.

He shook his head in the negative at her question. "Not today." He was meant to be, but there was no way he was going now, not after this. So for the time being it was easier just to tell her that he wasn't.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-11 02:48 pm UTC (link)
"It can wait."

She didn't want to move and it was clear he did not want her to move either. So she simply dropped her head to his shoulder and closed her eyes, just trying to forget everything. Opening her eyes when he spoke again, she looked to him before nodding. Maybe they needed some time together today after this so it would be good that he wasn't working.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was this morning."

She had got his messages but hadn't been in the mood to respond.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-12 03:07 am UTC (link)
His hand ran over her hair as she lay against his shoulder, his eyes on the ceiling. What had happened? Why had this happened? He didn't understand it. It was clear that just as he thought she was mistaken about the messages, she thought that he was. But he could hardly have sent them and then forgotten about it. And why would he say anything like that anyway. He loved Marian more than life itself. Marrying her had been the most important, and wonderful thing he had ever done.

"I was so worried. Even if you're mad at me...just let me know that you're okay."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-12 08:14 am UTC (link)
"I'm sorry," she repeated when he said he was worried. She knew she would be as well in such a situation and now that she wasn't angry, just confused, she felt guilt settle in for ignoring his messages. "I just...It doesn't matter."

She didn't want to bring it up again. She wanted to forget it ever happened and hope that Robin did too and they could just carry on as normal. Even if she knew it would haunt the back of her mind for a while.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-12 08:19 am UTC (link)
"It's all right," he reassured her at the repeated apology. "I know you're okay now, and that's what matters." As for the other thing...these supposed messages, he wasn't sure what to do.

Should he check her phone? Or was that suggesting that he believed she could imagine something so vividly? He didn't want to think that of her. But what was he supposed to think, he mused. He knew he had not sent the messages. Had someone else? That thought had not occurred to him before now. Maybe there was someone else involved.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-12 08:25 am UTC (link)
She wasn't really okay but that didn't matter. She would come to terms with all this soon enough. But for now, thinking on it just made the headache from her tears start to get worse. Closing her eyes, she sighed softly before looking to him.

"Come with me while I put everything away?" she didn't want to be apart from him but had to be kept busy. "We have painkillers, don't we? I need to take something first."

Because if this headache got worse she would have no choice but to stay in the one place all day.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-12 08:32 am UTC (link)
"Do you have a headache?" He asked, concerned. He brushed his thumb gently across her temple, looking down at her. "I think we have some in the bathroom, yeah."

He sat up, easing her in to a sitting position at the same time. Standing, he picked up the bag she'd dropped at her feet. "You go get them, and I'll take these back to our room."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-12 08:38 am UTC (link)
"Just a bit," she admitted, not wanting him to know it was hurting her quite a lot. But then his thumb was sweeping over her head and the ache cooled a little for a moment. She let him move her, nodding when he said he would take the bag and ignoring the fresh shot of pain that sent through her. Pushing herself up, she looked up at Robin for moment before pressing her lips softly to his own, hoping he knew why.

"I wont be a moment," she said quietly before stepping back and starting to walk to the bathroom.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]robinofthehood
2010-08-12 08:47 am UTC (link)
Something told him she was being her usual stubborn self and not telling him the whole truth, but something was better than nothing, and he would take what he could get.

He returned the kiss when she stood, glad that she seemed to have moved beyond a reluctance to even be near him. That had been the worst part of all of this. Nodding at her words, he watched her move down the hall to the bathroom. Once she was gone from sight he didn't hesitate, reaching in to her bag to find her phone. He felt a small measure of guilt, but pushed it away. He had to know. It didn't take him long to find the messages. And he felt a cold feeling hit him when he saw that, by appearance at least, they'd come from him. How was that possible? Someone must have gotten to his, or found a way to...he didn't know.

Hearing noise from the bathroom, he dropped her phone back in her bag, and moved through to their bedroom, picking up her other bag as he went. Once he had another moment alone, he would check his own phone.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]ladyoflegend
2010-08-12 08:56 am UTC (link)
She closed to door to the bathroom, looking at her reflection in the mirror. She really did look a bit of a mess and she quickly poured a glass of water and found the little packet of painkillers. With that done, she quickly swallowed them, still not use to the feeling before finishing the rest of the water and then cleaning herself up. Once she looked less red, though her eyes still had a red tinge to them, she opened the door and walked to their bedroom.

"Thank you," she said with a shy smile when she walked in. "I'll just...get these put away."

She reached out for the bag that she had taken last night, knowing it had things to be washed in it, and placed that on the floor before opening the other on the bed.

(Reply to this) (Parent)



Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs