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You already have everything you need. Now fight. ([info]heavenslancer) wrote in [info]colligo_threads,
@ 2010-05-04 21:31:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!closed, castiel, claire winchester, dean winchester, sam winchester

WHO: Castiel, Claire Bennet, Sam Winchester (Dean Winchester if he wants to join them)
WHAT: Emergency ice cream
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Outside Castiel's appartment building to the ice cream parlour
RATING: PG
STATUS: Incomplete. Closed.




Castiel waited outside his apartment building. It was windy but he didn’t notice. The wind had a bite in it he didn’t feel, even as it curled under his jacket and around his ribs. He didn’t pace. He just stood perfectly still, watching the people going by impassively. He saw the couples holding hands and felt nothing.
He was there to wait, simply to wait for his friends. They would come and he would go with them and they would talk and he would eat confection. After that he did not know. He could see nothing. He could not predict. He didn’t want to. The ache in his chest was a powerful dissuader.

They had not been going out that long but Joanna had keep kind, full of a kind of joy that made things that were difficult seem easier, a little more worthwhile. She had been patient, teaching him a complex job with very little swearing, teaching him other things… That side of his existence was over. It was not something he had ever sought before but now he had experienced it he did not want to dwell on the idea of being without it. So he didn’t. He stared at the leaves, the concrete, the clouds, the branches of the trees set in the middle of the street. This moment, in this moment all he had to go was wait for his friends.
That he could do.


[OOC: Perhaps Sam could arrive first and have a small exchange with Cas before Claire joins them? Then off to ice cream!]


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[info]likeaprodigal
2010-05-04 02:59 pm UTC (link)
Sam left his apartment pretty much immediately. He'd let Squeaky outside with a harness and leash so that he couldn't fly too far away, though he had discovered that he didn't do it anyway, then locked the apartment and went to Cas.

Cas was new to the whole 'relationship' thing. So having someone you cared about, who cared about you, vanish like that wasn't something Sam saw him coping too well with. Sam figured, knowing Cas, he'd try and close himself off. But Sam wouldn't let him. He decided that he needed to fix this for his friend. Make him happy, even if it meant spending practically every day trying. That would be fine with him. He owed Cas that much, after all that Cas had done for him since he'd come into his life.

The wind was whistling so hard that Sam could barely walk a straight line. Sam figured he wouldn't blow away - he was bigger than most other people - but it still wasn't a nice feeling, walking like you were drunk when you knew full well that you were sober as the day you were born. Still, if Cas needed him, he'd be there. Wind or no wind.

He spotted Cas standing against the wall of his apartment building, looking (in his own way) more lost than Sam had ever seen him before. So, Sam didn't hesitate before walking up to him and wrapping his arms around his friend; hugging him like Sam knew was always comforting to him.

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[info]heavenslancer
2010-05-04 11:19 pm UTC (link)
Not so long ago Castiel would have simply tensed and waited for whoever was hugging him to stop but, largely thanks to Jo, he was more comfortable with touch, had come to associate it with emotional responses like affection and comfort. He had even started to try and initiate contact.

That was all over but progress had been made all the same. He leant into the hug a little almost as if relieved. After a few moments he stepped back. "Thank you Sam." His voice sounded vague, lost.

He didn't look at Sam, he looked past him. He didn't seem to know where to start. If there was a prescribed reaction he did not know it. Castiel stared, thought of what he had lost, and blinked. He lowered his gaze for a moment with a soft sigh. "My Father said she is at peace. This is good." He finally looked up at Sam. "Will I be also?"

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[info]likeaprodigal
2010-05-04 11:41 pm UTC (link)
Sam had to smile when Cas thanked him and leaned into him. Sam was feeling pretty good about everything, until Cas pulled away and looked at the air over his shoulder. Sam frowned. He'd seen his friend like this before, though the circumstances were far more dire at the time. It was still a version of Cas that he didn't want to revisit anytime soon.

Listening when Cas described how he felt, how God had told him that she was at peace, Sam had to quirk a small smile, because he was really beginning to question how he'd ever lost his faith. But he was dragged out of that thought process when Cas asked him if he'd be okay. Sam wondered how he was supposed to answer that. His first instinct was that he wanted to say yes, Cas would be okay. But he didn't know. And he didn't want to lie to his friend. But second of all, he knew that he'd do pretty much anything to make sure that he was okay. So, as it stood, he could say it.

"Yeah, you'll be okay, Cas. I'll make sure of it."

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[info]heavenslancer
2010-05-05 02:05 am UTC (link)
Castiel gave Sam a doubtful look. Could he ensure such a thing? Castiel didn't really know enough to question it but he had his doubts all the same. But at lease Sam was here and soon Claire would be too. That was something. They had made losing his home, most of his siblings, easier. Why not this?

Castiel didn't want time to think right now. It was one of the reasons who he had been so concerned at his lack of direction or purpose since his arrival in the strange city. He had finally been ready to do then he was forced to stop.

Then he had been required to establish himself here. It had been slow, it had been worthwhile but now... now he was starting to doubt, as anyone who had lost love, that it was something he should ever seek again.
Even if he did not it didn't make this moment any easier. He waited for the distraction.
"Claire will be here soon, then we will go. I am not certain of its effectiveness but humans seem to believe in its ability to comfort. They return to it on multiple occasions." Castiel dropped his eyes again. He did not want to face this more than once. That would be easy. He simply would not get into that situation again.

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[info]likeaprodigal
2010-05-05 02:24 am UTC (link)
Sam kept his arm around Cas' shoulders, not wanting him to forget for even a moment that Sam was there by his side. "I haven't met her yet," he said, smirking a little. "And I haven't seen Dean since I got here, either. I'm pretty nervous, actually," he admitted softly.

Sam smoothed his own hair back from his face and looked out at the city. It was funny how he always wished for a normal life, and even normal life, for him anyway, wasn't normal. People could randomly disappear here. And that should scare him, but in actuality, it made him feel like he had to appreciate what he had even more. Maybe he was just a dreamer. He wasn't sure.

"I don't think it's so much the ice cream that comforts so much as the company. Though if it's worked for you in the past then all the better," he half-smiled and finally moved his arm from around Cas' shoulders, looking up and down the street for Claire or Dean.

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[info]x_clairebear_x
2010-05-05 03:50 am UTC (link)

Claire's heart went out to Castiel. It didn't seem like that long ago that Priestly had left Colligo and, when he had, a part of her had shattered inside. Castiel had been one of the ones who help her, offering comfort in his own way. He had taken her for ice cream and tried to help ease her pain as best she could. Granted there wasn't much that anyone could do in such a situation as the one she'd faced, the one he was facing now, but Claire wouldn't be a very good friend if she didn't at least try to return the favor.

So she'd called one of her employees to come to the video store, had put up a 'back in five minutes' sign, and left to meet with him and Sam. She had also contacted Dean at the garage and asked him to come along. She knew he was working and effectively stuck there, but she could only hope that he would find a way to leave. If he didn't, she would understand, but she wasn't entirely positive that Castiel would. Then again, this was Dean they were talking about. Odds were, he'd show, even if he found himself unemployed afterward.

Knowing there wasn't anything else she could do about that particular situation, she forced the worry from her mind and vowed to deal with it when and if the time came. For now, her focus was on the angel that had lost someone he cared deeply for. Well that, and finally meeting Dean's brother face to face.

Truth be told, Claire was nervous. Yes, she and Sam got along well over the message boards, but things were always different in person. What if he didn't like her? What if she said something to upset him? The what-if's continued to flicker through her mind as she made her way toward the apartments. Then Castiel and Sam came into view and Claire forced herself to focus back on the real issue at hand: Castiel's pain and her hope at being able to ease it just a bit with what he called frozen confections.

"Hey, Cas," she said simply as she approached. The desire for any witty commentary was lost in the seriousness of the moment. There was a smile upon her face but it was tinged with sorrow and sympathy. "Sorry it took so long for me to get here. I finally had to all but toss a customer out of the store so I could lock the doors."

Next her gaze cut to Sam and her smile grew a bit although still wasn't quite as bright as it would have been had the situation been lighter. "And it's nice to finally meet you in person," she greeted him. "I've heard a lot about you."

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[info]righteousman
2010-05-05 05:29 am UTC (link)
Dean was worried about Cas. Hell, he'd thought the whole relationship with Jo was a bad idea, in equal parts because he didn't want either of them getting hurt and because he just thought it was weird, but that didn't mean he wanted Jo to up and disappear. Because, again, that hurt Cas. And he hated that. Claire and Sam aside, and they didn't count because they were his girlfriend and his brother respectively, Cas was his best friend. And anyway, he was new to this whole dating thing. His first relationship shouldn't have ended with the girl being sent back to a home reality where she was dead...that wasn't fair at all. Part of him wanted to have words with God, while part of him acknowledged that God couldn't spend her time keeping Cas from getting a broken heart.

Leaving the garage should have been a problem, and would have been on any other day, but it wasn't. Apparently, his employer was leaving, where too he didn't know because part of him was convinced that nothing existed outside the city, and had finalized signing the garage over to Dean that morning. He'd known about it for a few weeks, but he hadn't wanted to say anything until it was all said and done, in case things didn't pan out. He'd tell the others later, and hopefully convince Sam to help with the business side of things, but today didn't seem like a good time for the news. Still, it meant that he just had to finish up with the car he was working on and then he could close up early. Say what you will about Colligo, but they cut through a lot of the red tape you'd find back home.

So he finished the car, the last one he had right now, he gave the keys to it's owner and shut the shop up for the day. Thankfully the guy had waited around, because he didn't want to spend twenty minutes waiting for the guy. He cleaned up his hands quickly and made his way to meet the others. He was anxious, both about Castiel and about spending time with his brother. It had been a long time since he had seen Sam, and he wasn't even sure if he knew how to act around him anymore. He'd changed a lot, and Sam had experienced things he didn't even remember happening. He knew it was stupid, that Sam was his brother and that they had gotten through worse, but he couldn't help worrying about it.

When he got to where they were, he gave Claire a quick kiss and then focused on his brother. "Sammy!" he said with a grin, giving the younger man a hug that was totally unmanly, but he didn't care. "Look at you. Damn...it's been a while. You look good." He would have said more, but they had time for that later. He looked at the last member of their group and the reason they were all there.

"Hey Cas," he said, putting his hand on the angel's shoulder. "How are you holding up?" They were all kind of standing around awkwardly and he couldn't help thinking of it as the weirdest double date ever in his head. Not that Cas and Sam were dating. That would be pretty fucking weird. Anyway, not the point. "Sorry, it took me a while to get the garage closed up for the day. You guys weren't waiting too long, were you?"

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[info]likeaprodigal
2010-05-05 05:43 am UTC (link)
Sam felt a little bit awkward, being face to face with his brother's girlfriend of apparently quite some time for the first time. But he shelved that and gave her a smile so that she didn't think that she'd done anything wrong. He smiled at her and extended his hand to shake hers. "I've heard a few things about you. Though I'm sure not nearly as much as you've heard about me. I know my brother can be a bit of a talker..." he grinned. If nothing else, teasing Dean would break the awkward.

It was a strange sensation, the feeling that came when someone you know and were extremely familiar with walked up. Even when you can't see them right away, when they're off in a direction that isn't in your peripheral vision, you know they're there. And Sam felt that right that instant about his brother. He turned when he heard him greet Claire and smiled when his brother hugged him. "Dean!" he said excitedly, patting him on the back and smiling a little bit when he said that Sam looked good. "You too. Thanks."

And with that, the greetings were out of the way and the focus turned back to Cas. As it should have been. Sam looked at his angel friend and gave him a sad smile.

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[info]heavenslancer
2010-05-05 06:12 am UTC (link)
Castiel didn't pull away from Sam though he was unaccustomed to such prolonged contact, or perhaps it just felt different because Sam was taller than him and so he reached around his shoulders and not his ribcage. Sam was, of course, right. The ice cream was the excuse. He had suspected that the first time he went for ice cream with Claire. There was perhaps also some chemical benefit he would likely immune to from the confection not found in other things. After all, other forms of food would provide the same excuse but only ice cream seemed so heavily favoured by people in the situation he was in.

The appearance of Claire brought no real change in his expression, perhaps a slight relaxing of the skin around his eyes. "I have not been waiting long," he assured her. Humans required that particular assurance he had found. He watched the exchange between Sam and Claire. It occurred to him the information Dean may have given Claire about Sam could have been out of date. He hoped not. He founded it important to him that Sam and Claire got along well. At least she did not seem afraid or hostile. Castiel turned to Sam to say "Claire is a good friend." Then he turned to Claire. "Sam has a pterodactyl called Squeaky. He is very young and requires assistance with his movement. I will be assisting him." It was good, Castiel found, to focus on such little details. They drew the mind away from what seemed insurmountable. Maybe that was the value in ice cream. A cold mouth. A little detail.

Then he heard Dean's voice and his attention was focused again.
He watched Dean and Claire kiss and it hurt. He missed Joanna the most at that moment.
Dean touched him and his mask slipped a little because with Dean it could. And there Dean was, also concerned about keeping them waiting. Did Dean and Claire think him impatient or were they just in the habit of dealing with humans who were? "It is difficult to say," Dean. It... hurts. I wish to see her again but I know I cannot. I believe it will take some time to become accustomed." He was, however, able to take some delight in the brothers' reunion. He knew Dean had been worried about Sam for a long time. Now he did not have to be. Perhaps they would find other things to worry about, that was their way, but not that empty unknown.

Castiel knew why Sam 'looked good' but he didn't say anything. Now was not the time, even for good news. This was for something else. His friends were worried about him. They must he assured. He must be assured. He stood alone, his hands in his pockets. "I am ready," he said, "for ice cream."

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[info]righteousman
2010-05-05 07:58 am UTC (link)
Dean had wondered if being affectionate with Claire might make Cas uncomfortable, but he wasn't going to pretend that they weren't dating just because it might be a little weird. That wasn't fair to Claire, and it really wasn't fair to Cas either. He needed to learn to cope with things, and coddling him wasn't going to do him any good. He smiled at his angel and squeezed his shoulder in a sympathetic gesture. "Yeah," he said, "it does that. Hurts, I mean. But it gets better, eventually. Just remember that...fuck, it's a bullshit thing to say, but she's at peace. And she's happy...but she also probably misses you." If she remembered. He didn't say that. "Loss is one of the sucky parts of caring about people, and it really does suck, but you've got people here who care about you, and we're all here no matter what. So...just remember you're not alone and you can come to us if you need anything at all. Okay, Cas?"

Damn...that had been practically insightful. He needed to stop doing that. But the fact was, he cared about Cas and he wanted to help him. And if Sam tried to make fun of him for this, he'd just remind him why he was the older brother and therefor completely capable of kicking his ass. But for now, they were supposed to be getting ice cream. Personally, he thought that drinks would help more than ice cream would, but he guessed that might be a little more awkward. And if they got drunk, Sam would probably do something stupid...he wondered if it was too late to suggest a change in plans. "You know," he said, "drinks work just as well as ice cream, and it feels less like we're gonna have to call our parents and tell 'em we'll be home late from school."

He grinned over at Claire. "But I have to say I'm a big fan of rocky road." What? He was totally allowed to have fond memories of asking his girlfriend out over shared frozen confections, as Cas would put it. And he kind of hoped that never changed, because he liked Cas's slightly awkward way of speaking. It was endearing, like having an adopted brother from a weird foreign country who clearly didn't quite grasp English. "So, we're ready to go then?"

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[info]x_clairebear_x
2010-05-05 09:58 pm UTC (link)

"If by talker you mean I have to practically threaten to throw away all the pie in the city to make him discuss things, yep, he's a talker all right," Claire replied to Sam with a grin. She couldn't help it. Teasing Dean came as naturally as breathing did and, for some reason, with Sam it seemed to come even more naturally. Then Dean was there and the focus shifted back to the reason they were all meeting up.

She had considered, briefly, about not trying to be too couple-like in front of Castiel. However much like Dean - although she didn't of course know that fact - she too felt that pretending she wasn't with Dean wasn't going to help Castiel in the long run. Castiel was going to have to learn to accept loss as part of life. It sucked, but it was the way it was, and while she would always be there for him as a friend she wasn't going to put a strain on her and Dean's still very uncertain relationship because of it. Granted she wasn't going to start making out with him or anything stupid like that, but she wasn't going to act like they weren't dating, because they were. And she was rather proud of that fact and quite happy about it as well.

Still, dating or not, she couldn't help but shoot him a somewhat impressed look when he spoke to Castiel. That was... certainly unexpected. Especially coming from Dean. Her smile was almost a proud one, turning to amusement at his next words. Then she snorted and rolled her eyes.

"You just want to drink because you can't bribe me with alcohol like you can ice cream," she replied lightly before glancing to Castiel and Sam. "And I'm cool with whatever is decided, though I am a bit more of an ice cream girl than I am a drinker." Could you really blame her? She could eat all the ice cream she wanted and not get fat or an ice cream headache. Alcohol, on the other hand, she could drink all she wanted, never get drunk, and have nothing to show for it but the taste of alcohol for the rest of the day.

It just wasn't as much fun when you couldn't enjoy the real perk to drinking in the first place. But considering they were all there for Castiel, she would be fine with whatever he decided. So her attention landed on him.

"Why don't you make the call, Cas? I'm really fine with either one and I doubt these guys will complain no matter which you pick."

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[info]likeaprodigal
2010-05-05 10:07 pm UTC (link)
When Claire spoke of needing to remove all pie from the city, Sam laughed and nodded his head. Yep, that was Dean. And really, it was what he missed the most about his brother. The talking, not the pie. Though it was always good to be able to bribe him with something. And pie happened to be the best bet a large part of the time.

There were times when they'd just talk in the Impala, and while he'd never admit that to Dean, it was one of his favorite things about their world. But they were here now, and that was different.

Hopefully not too different, though.

Sam had to smile when Dean laid his insight onto the situation. Mostly because for Dean to be that insightful, a lot would have had to change from the last time they'd been around each other. He figured a large part of that was because of Claire. He figured that having an actual girlfriend that he actually seemed to care about had made Dean do a bit of growing up. But then, he realized that not too much had changed, because he was still suggesting booze over ice cream. Not that Sam would object too heavily.

"You know I'm always up for a drink, man," he said of the 'booze rather than ice cream' plan and then turned his attention to Cas. He knew, by and large, Cas' word was law tonight, so he'd go with whatever the angel wanted to do. "What do you think, man?" he asked Cas.

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[info]heavenslancer
2010-05-05 11:45 pm UTC (link)
Castiel akknowledged Dean's words with a slight warming of his gaze. "I know, Dean. I am grateful. I understand the value of friends. You... make it an easy lesson to learn." He paused, considering. "You also... sound like my Father." This time his voice had a calculated wistfulness to it as if he was already aware of what Dean's reaction to this might be.

He watched their interactions, glad that they seemed to understand Dean and that they all seemed to get along well. Of course his mind kept turning to Jo, a powerful distraction, ensuring any joy was momentary. He mourned the future that they promised to have as much as the missing feeling of her head against his shoulder. He fell silent, went back to his staring for a minute.

Then he noticed the shift in conversation. They started talking about drinking. The fact that Sam and Dean wished to drink did not surprise him and he would not have objected accompanying them on another day but he hesitated for two reasons. Firstly he needed something effective and he would have had to drink a lot to feel anything. Also Joanna had told him that alcohol amplified your mood. This was not a mood he wanted amplified. No, ice cream was much more likely to feel something, to feel improved. It was meant for this situation. Sam and Dean perhaps just didn't know it yet. Then there was the other reason.
"No bars," he said simply. He started down the sidewalk towards the ice cream parlour. He didn't look back to see if they were following.

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[info]righteousman
2010-05-07 04:38 am UTC (link)
Dean smiled. Cas's words made him feel kind of stupidly warm and fuzzy inside. Other than Sam, who didn't really count because they were brothers and stuff, he'd never had long-term friends growing up. They moved around too much to ever get attached. Cas was really the first best friend he'd had in his life, which was kind of pathetic to admit. But it was also nice. And it meant he was happy when Cas approved of things and that he'd do anything for the angel. And he needed to stop this line of thought before it got really gay or something. Jesus.

"I don't know about all that, Cas," he said, ducking his head, but smiling in a mixture of surprise and happiness. Being compared to Lady G kind of threw him for a loop. He wasn't exactly someone you should go comparing to God in terms of insightfulness. After all, he was all sorts of fucked up, and he couldn't imagine God appreciating the comparison. Still, it meant a lot that Cas would say that. "But...I mean...you're an easy guy to be friends with...you know. Now stop it before this gets more chick flicky than it already is." He could only talk about feelings for so long before he started feeling itchy.

And then he had to go and fuck up. God, he was such a shitty friend. Like quite possibly the worst friend ever. Of course Cas wouldn't want to go to a bar right after Jo disappeared. In fact, it was likely the last place he wanted to go, unless there was a Jo-themed museum around the city somewhere, in which case he'd be freaked out and wondering why there was a Jo-themed museum. But he was getting off track, really off track, in strange and disturbing ways. The point was that Cas wouldn't want to be in a bar right now, and he should have thought of that and he hadn't, and now he felt like a complete and total jackass. He watched as Cas walked off and looked at the others. "I'll handle it," he said. "Since I fucked it up and all."

Moving to catch up with the angel, he put a hand on his arm. "Wait up, Cas," he said. "Look...I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking and I stuck my foot in my mouth, and I do that a lot, in case you haven't noticed. I mean, it's pretty much permanently there...that's figurative by the way. It means I say stupid shit without thinking about it a lot. I don't actually stick my foot in my mouth. I mean, I'm pretty flexible when I want to be, but I'm not that good. And a foot's too big to put in your mouth...I mean, I knew this girl once who could...I'm getting way off track here." He grinned. "The point is I'm sorry and I didn't meant to upset you and I hope you know I'm here for you, okay?"

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[info]heavenslancer
2010-05-07 04:00 pm UTC (link)
Castiel stopped at Dean's touch, looked at him, his eyes hollow. He waited for Dean to finish prattling at him. He wasn't angry, he simply wanted to forget about the whole situation. All of this only validated his hesitation, his belief that such a relationship was a mistake. His Father had warmed him loss was a part of it and he had accepted it. He was merely expecting there to be something more than hope and promise before the loss. Dean was still talking. Castiel watched his mouth move. He waited for it to stop.

"I do not need to know about the flexibility of your body, Dean, and I am not concerned about your suggestion. I have noticed where you go when you need comfort, you were merely trying to offer me the same. I understand. I simply do not wish to share that with you this night. I thought it was made clear what our destination was. If it was not I apologise. I also trust it was not suggested it was negotiable." The angel's voice was tight, his stress was clear. His control was poorer than usual.

He pulled his arm free of Dean. "I am not upset," he said, starting back down the street, "With you." He walked quickly, wound like a spring. He just wanted to get there, wanted to have something simple and clear to focus on. He knew his friends were there to help, to support him, but it was difficult to appreciate anything. Everything looked different. The lustre had worn off. It all annoyed him. The lights, the people, the wind, they all seemed less than they did, they all seemed apart from him. Even Sam and Claire and Dean... they seemed to be talking to him from a distance. He did not like the feeling.

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[info]x_clairebear_x
2010-05-07 04:30 pm UTC (link)

Claire frowned lightly as Dean walked off to talk to Castiel. Her gaze slid to Sam. "Not exactly the best conditions to meet under, huh?" she offered, not quite sure what else to say. Personally she felt just as responsible for the whole drinking conversation as Dean felt. She was pretty sure Sam probably did too. None of them had really considered how drinking could easily be a reminder of Jo. However, she also knew that it would be worse for Castiel to pointedly avoid such reminders. She just wasn't about to say that. Not this soon after losing her.

So she waited, frowning once more when Castiel didn't seem to take Dean's apology very well. It was in moments like these that Claire felt very much like an outsider. Even though they were two of her closest friends, and even though she had feelings for Dean she wasn't willing to even considering analyzing just yet, she knew that when push came to shove her opinion on how they treated each other didn't matter much at all. Which was something that was hard for her to take, considering how opinionated she was.

Another look to Sam and she gave a faint shrug of one shoulder and tip of her head in a 'I guess it's time to go' motion, before moving to where Dean stood. "Hey," she said, giving him a light nudge with her hip before peering up at him, "Don't be too hard on yourself. We all know none of us meant anything by it." Then she turned her gaze and watched Castiel moving down the street.

"And we should probably catch up. He doesn't exactly seem all... there, y'know?" There was worry in her tone and her expression as she looked first to Dean, then to Sam. It sucked, wanting to help someone and not knowing how.

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[info]likeaprodigal
2010-05-07 05:12 pm UTC (link)
Sam was famous for the 'open mouth, insert foot' moments, he realized. And agreeing with Dean on the whole 'drinking instead of ice cream' idea was yet another on a long list. He frowned and looked at Claire, shrugging his shoulders. "Well, I'm glad to meet you, all the same, at least," he added, watching Dean and Cas talk. He'd seen Cas like this before. Didn't like where it was going. "I hate this for Cas..." he said solemnly. "I've been there before and I would never wish it on anyone. Least of all him."

Frowning when Cas pushed Dean aside, Sam watched the motions of the conversation and decided that if nothing would work, Sam would take it upon himself to be sure that Cas got over this. Dean's words didn't seem to be working, and neither did regular comfort, but Sam would find a way. This was one of the few situations where his Winchester stubbornness came in handy.

Sam watched Claire rush up to Dean, and he took off in a jogging run to Cas, looking at him with a smile. "You know, Cas," Sam said softly, "I've been where you are before. It sucks. But listen, man," he said, putting a comforting hand on Cas' shoulder and giving him a sad smile, "I know all you want to do is close in on yourself and forget anyone else in the world exists, but it's not smart to do it that way. We're looking out for you. You're definitely not alone, even if you're feeling like it right now. If you need anything, we're here. Don't forget that."

"Oh, and I'm sorry too," he started with, knowing that Cas probably wasn't angry with them. "I know you said you're not mad at us, but I am."

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[info]heavenslancer
2010-05-08 12:23 am UTC (link)
Castiel tensed under Sam's hand. Why did they have to keep touching him? Did they think that it helped? "I'm fine," he said. "I have assessed the situation and I am aware of the appropriate reaction." Then he faltered. His irritation at yet another interruption to his progress faded leaving him with that hollow feeling again. he sighed. "I do not want to forget you exist. I simply wish never to experience this again. It is a matter of choice, easy to prevent now I know of its existence. Do not be concerned. This will not happen again."

He stared somewhere beyond Sam's shoulder, his face softening into a troubled expression. "The pain, it will pass?" A part of him knew that it did but he was not inclined to trust that part. He didn't trust very much at all right now. He was not even sure his closest friends could help him but he would listen to Sam's words and then decided if he could believe them. To Castiel, though, seemed beyond anyone but his Father and God had already told him he would not spare him this. Castiel understood pain was a warning, a deterrent. He would, then, simply let it do its job. It was an effective teacher. It was, powerful. It was also rather heavy handed. It could easily strip the ability to see the finer aspects of love, that which drew Castiel towards it in the first place but the angel did not consider this. All of his feelings were narrow and gross and reactive. He narrowed his eyes at Sam.

"I know you are here, you keep telling me as if I can forget. I-" His tone softened a fraction. "I remain grateful but I do not need to be told what I already know. I am... concerned, I am not addled." Castiel moved on a few yards and stopped outside the ice cream parlour's door. It was all dark red wood and chalkboards and booths. It was a cosy little place. None of this mattered to Castiel on a conscious level but it was a place he liked and there were not that many places in the city he did. "Please, eat with me. If you wish to help, share this with me."

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[info]likeaprodigal
2010-05-08 12:45 am UTC (link)
What Sam had done when he was grieving had been far, far worse than what Cas had done, so he supposed that he shouldn't have been upset at Cas' reaction. "Okay," he said somberly, taking his hand away when Cas seemed to tense and stuffed them in his pockets.

The vulnerability in Cas' voice wasn't lost on Sam, who nodded and gave him a sad smile. "It does. I'm not going to give you a time frame, because it does take however much time that you feel like you need, but it does pass," he promised, meeting Cas' eyes and then he paused when Cas snapped at him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so insistent that he was there for Cas. It was obvious. He was standing right there. "You're right. I'll stop now," he said.

Cas mentioned that a way to help would be to have ice cream with him and he nodded, eyes on the floor, not for any particular sadness (though he was still disappointed that Cas was sad), but out of nervous habit to watch where he stepped. "I can do that. I'm never one to pass up ice cream," he half-smiled and smoothed a hand through his hair, glancing at Dean and Claire.

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[info]heavenslancer
2010-05-11 12:55 pm UTC (link)
Castiel nodded pushed open the door to the ice cream parlour, relaxing at Sam’s agreement, his acceptance of the invitation. The others would follow. He was not concerned. They were here for him. They wouldn’t just… vanish. He stood in the middle of the brightly painted room for a moment. They wouldn’t just…

He walked up to the counter, ran his eyes along the colourful boxes, lingering over the contents of each one. The girl behind the counter was speaking to him but he wasn’t ready to reply. Brown, green, blue yellow and pink, beige, orange, lavender, strawberry, white. “Can I help you sir?”
“Mint please,” Castiel said evenly. “In a bowl.”

The girl smiled a little at his stilted manner and bend to scoop the ice cream. Castiel stared into the mirror behind the counter. When he had his confection, had handed over his money, be took it to a booth and slid along the bench but he didn’t start eating. He watched, his eyes on his friends as if suddenly concerned they would vanish if he didn’t.

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[info]x_clairebear_x
2010-05-11 01:19 pm UTC (link)

Castiel kept insisting that he wanted to get ice cream, alluding that it would make things better. Truthfully, Claire wasn't sure if it would or not, but at this point she didn't know what else to try. Both Dean and Sam had attempted to speak with him and neither had been met with much success. Considering Dean was Castiel's best friend, and she could only assume Sam was probably second in line for that, Claire highly doubted anything she had to say would have much affect. Not to mention, although she certainly understood why he was so upset, she was also a bit stung at the way Castiel was acting toward them.

She knew, of course, that it wasn't all his fault. He was hurting and had no concept of how to deal with such a thing. However, she also knew from firsthand experience with losing Priestly in the same manner that excluding those who were trying to help wasn't going to make anything better. However she wasn't going to try to tell him that at the moment. Maybe, if he kept acting this way after the ice cream and some time had passed, she'd give it a shot. But for now, she simply stayed quiet and ordered a bowl of rocky road ice cream.

Once she had the treat, she made her way to the table and slid into the seat across from Castiel. "It didn't take you nearly as long to decide what to get this time," she pointed out, rather obviously. "And you didn't try sticking your finger in someone else's ice cream either. That's good." She cast a glance at Sam and Dean, hoping they would help with some sort of conversation along the lines of hers - essentially one that didn't involve feelings, Jo, or anything even closely similar to either of the two.

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