InsaneJournal

WHO: Dean Winchester and Claire Bennet
WHAT: Discussions of epic proportions.
WHEN: Immediately after this.
WHERE: Their apartment
RATING: PGish, to be safe
STATUS: Complete; log

Dean was, as he had told Claire, sitting on the couch with a pint of rocky road ice cream and a spoon. He knew he was pretty much bribing her to open up to him, but sometimes you had to do what you had to do. He'd been worried about Claire since the whole water thing had ended, and it was obvious something had happened, but he wasn't sure what. She was one of his closest friends and he wanted to be able to help her, but he couldn't do that until he knew what was wrong.

When she finally came out of her room, he gestured to the spot beside him with the spoon and held out the ice cream. "So now that I've had to bribe my best friend to spend time with me," he said dramatically, "what's up, blondie?"

Claire gave a melodramatic roll of her eyes before offering him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She moved to the spot he'd indicated, eying the ice cream as she did so. Her gaze flickered briefly back to Dean and she at least had the grace to look slightly ashamed at his teasing.

"Sorry," she automatically apologized. "Things got... crazy." To put it mildly. Claire shook her head, sighed, and tried again. "That water thing really threw me for a loop." She didn't add anything more. Instead she gave him another smile and took the ice cream.

"So, did you hear about Jo and Castiel?" The question was asked innocently enough. Whether it was meant to actually be innocent or not was anyone's guess.

"I figured as much," Dean said, leaving it at that for the moment. Claire would get to it, and if she didn't he could push her for more information then. He hadn't quite expected a diversion so soon, but it was something he wanted to talk about anyway. Besides, there was no rush. They had plenty of time to talk, and he didn't just want to talk about problems. He really had missed Claire lately.

"Yeah," he said shaking his head. "If I never have to talk about sex with Cas again, it won't be soon enough for me." He sighed. "I don't know what to think of it, honestly. I mean, I'm glad Cas is making his own choices, good or bad, but I don't want him getting hurt." He glanced over at Claire. "And don't think I don't realize you're trying to distract me. We'll get back to your problems."

Claire ignored his last comment, for now. If she didn't, she'd be defeating the whole purpose of avoidance in the first place. So instead she simply said, "I'm worried for both of them, not just Castiel. Jo hasn't had an easy time, I don't think, since she got her memories back." Drawing one leg underneath her, she opened the tub of ice cream and peered down at it.

"According to Castiel, God approves. It can't be bad, if that's the case. Right?" She didn't sound very certain. She wasn't very certain. It was something that was just going to take some getting used to.

"I'm worried for Jo too," Dean agreed, "but she can handle herself. She at least understands relationships and stuff. Cas is completely new at this. I mean...that sounds like I think Jo would...I don't even know. Jo's great, but I don't know if she gets what this means to Cas. I don't want either of them getting hurt...Cas emotionally or Jo...well...in a smitey way." Because he had no doubt God would want to smite Jo if she hurt Cas.

He shrugged. "I think God wants to encourage Cas to think for himself," he said, "and she can't do that if she's constantly scolding him when he does. It's gotta be hard for her. This is a little too complicated for me. This is why I should just marry you. No complications."

Claire frowned. "Do you really think Jo's risking being smited?" she asked. It seemed a bit much. But, she also didn't know God the way Dean did. If he was being serious, she knew she'd be a fool not to listen. Still. She definitely didn't want to see anyone get smacked down by a pissed off deity.

"I say we save Zeppelin for the reception and play AC/DC at the ceremony itself," she tacked on absently as she reached out and plucked the spoon away from him. Digging into the ice cream, she raised the bite to her lips and smiled over at Dean.

"Finding somebody to make a zombie cake should be easy enough." She took the bite of ice cream, chewed and swallowed, then frowned lightly at the spoon. "Do you think it's a little... weird? This Castiel and Jo thing, I mean. Or is that just me?" She really hoped it wasn't her, because she felt bad that it felt weird to her. But it did and she couldn't seem to help that. She could only hope time would change it.

Dean considered it a moment. "I really don't know," he said, "but God's pretty damn protective of Cas. I don't think Jo would do anything intentional to hurt him, she's not that kind of person, but if they're looking at this differently, then things are bound to go wrong. In some ways, I think they could be good for each other. In others, I think this is going to be a huge clusterfuck. But I'm not Cas's father, and I can't make decisions for him. We just have to hope it all goes well."

Dean shook his head. "Zeppelin has the better slow numbers, so it would work better for the ceremony," he pointed out, teasing smile on his face. "And AC/DC has You Shook Me All Night Long and Hells Bells...which just seem like they'd go better at the reception." Yes, he'd given thought to these kinds of things. In a general sense.

"Yeah," Dean agreed with an easy grin. "that part should be easy. Cake makers are less hung up on the traditional these days than they were in Victorian times. And I could wear a suit if you want, but I'll look really stupid. So I could just wear what I normally do. You could too if you want. I mean, unless you want to wear a dress or something." It was oddly comfortable to discuss a wedding that would never actually happen. "As for Jo and Cas...hell yeah, it's weird. I mean...it's Cas. I took him to a brothel once so he wouldn't die a virgin and he looked like he was going to cry. Only time I've ever seen him not freaked about sex was..." He trailed off. He didn't like talking about that future. "Well...it just wasn't good."

Claire contemplated what he was saying while eating another bite of ice cream. Finally she held the spoon out for him in the form of an offering, then met his gaze. "If you're not wearing a suit, no way am I wearing a dress," she stated firmly then grinned. "Besides, I'm more comfortable in jeans anyway." Which was true enough.

She drew her leg out from underneath her and tucked it against her chest. Wrapping her free arm around it, she rested her chin on her knee. "I think they could be good for one another," she confided in Dean. Exhaling a puff of air sharply, her hair fluttering lightly around her eyes, she sat upright once more. Her foot dropped to the floor.

"I also think things could go really bad, really quick, if they aren't careful."

Dean laughed, leaning forward to steal the ice cream off the spoon while she was still holding it, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You can wear a dress," he said. "Dress doesn't have to mean fluffy frilly dress." He paused and looked her up and down blatantly. "But you do look good in jeans." He was teasing, hoping to keep her feeling comfortable when they finally did talk about whatever was bothering her.

He was quiet for a moment, then he nodded. "They could be," he agreed, "and I hope they are. I want them both to be happy, and if it's with each other, then all the better." He shrugged. "I just...Cas is like Sammy, and Jo's...well, she's Jo. I don't want either of them getting hurt. But it's not our place to decide this stuff for them. Jo's a grown up and Cas has been around long enough that we just have to trust them to make their own decisions, and hope everything goes all right."

Once Dean had taken the bite of ice cream, Claire got another scoop of it and took a bite herself. A thoughtful look crossed her face as she ate it. "I think they'll be okay." She hoped. Close enough. She glanced at Dean.

"And I think I'll stick with jeans. Dresses may not mean frilly and fluffy but they aren't half as comfortable and I refuse to be fidgety at my own wedding," she stated in a matter of fact tone. She was also grinning, her green eyes sparkling as she ate another bite of rocky road with more gusto, then offered another spoonful to him. "I guess Peter can give me away, since my dad's not here anymore." It was the first time she'd been able to talk about the fact that her dad wasn't there without feeling a strong desire that he was. In a way, she was glad he wasn't around. Claire wasn't sure she could've handled the idea of him being affected by the water recently.

"Yeah," Dean said, the confidence in his tone only slightly forced. "I think so too." Think, hope...same thing really. Sort of. The point was he trusted Cas and Jo and he'd support them if this was what they wanted.

"Can't argue with that," he said. "Don't rightly see why people dress up for weddings in the first place. I mean, it's about marriage and you aren't gonna spend your marriage in stupid dress clothes all the time. Or...I'm not anyway." He took another bite of her ice cream with a satisfied smile, then nodded. "He'd probably be glad to do it," he said. "How are you holding up with your dad gone, anyway? You don't really talk about it." He glanced at her. "Speaking of not talking about it...as fun as planning our hypothetical marriage might be, you still haven't told me what's been bothering you. What happened with the water?" And who, if anyone, did he have to beat up?

And here it was. The moment Claire had known was coming yet had been dreading at the same time. She sighed softly and frowned into the tub of ice cream before finally meeting Dean's gaze. The slightly teasing lilt to her tone was gone when she spoke this time.

"I miss him," she admitted, first and foremost. "But... I think part of me is almost jealous, that he's back home and I'm still stuck here." She sighed again and straightened up a bit. Twisting on the couch so she was facing him, she explained. "I mean, being here means I get to hang with you and Jo and Castiel and everybody else, and that's great. But most of my family is back home now, and I just..." She trailed off and shrugged. "I miss them."

Simple enough. There wasn't a thing to be done for it either. So Claire moved on, to what had really been bothering her the last few days. The reason she hadn't wanted to leave her room, much less the apartment. "As for that water thing," she flushed a bit and glanced away. "I was with Jim, when that whole thing started. We haven't really talked, since."

She left it at that. Dean was a smart guy. Smarter than most gave him credit for, really. She was pretty sure he could infer the rest from there.

"It's understandable," Dean said, shifting so that he could face Claire more easily. "I mean, yes, me and Cas and Jo are supremely awesome, but your family is your family and that's a whole different ball game. Hell, I miss Sam more than anything. Bobby too. The people I know here are great, but that's never going to make up for no having family here." He shrugged. "It doesn't mean you've got to mope all the time or anything, because that's a pointless waste, but it doesn't mean you can't be sad either."

"Jim Kirk?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow. What was it with Claire and the cocky manwhores? "You sure do know how to pick them, don't you? Have you avoided talking to him or is he avoiding you? Or both?" He sort of wondered when the hell he'd become the kind of guy who gave advice about feelings, but Claire was a special case. "I think, if you haven't, try just telling him how you feel about it. Neither of you were in control, so there's no reason to let it mess with your friendship. Sometimes, sex is just sex."

He paused. "Unless you want it to affect your friendship," he said finally. "Do you?" He didn't want to examine the twisting feeling in his stomach too closely. Claire was his best friend aside from Cas and, joking aside, he wasn't sure he wanted to risk that. "Because if that's the case, I'll have to give Jim a talk about how if he hurts you, I get to beat him to death with a shovel."

"Sometimes sex is just sex," Claire agreed easily enough. "Then, sometimes, sex is sex with a man who is like a big brother to me. And that makes it... complicated." To put it mildly. She shook her head. "No, I sorta left in a rush that morning and we haven't really talked since." She paused, considering his question.

"And no, I don't," she stated firmly as she looked back to him. "Jim is a great guy, and I adore him, but not like that." Which, she had to admit, did make it a bit less complicated. Had her feelings for him changed it would be a whole new mess of problems.

"What about you?" she finally asked, partially to get the focus back off her for a moment and partially because she realized she hadn't even asked. She swallowed her guilt and peered up at him. "Did you manage any wild and random hookups? Should I be worried some girl is going to ruin my wedding day?" The teasing tone and grin was back. Claire had to admit, it felt pretty good.

"I see how that would be awkward," Dean agreed, "but you weren't in control and I'm sure he understands that. I'm not big on the talking about feelings thing, but it would probably help in this case. I know the longer you put it off, the harder it's gonna be." He really sucked at this kind of thing, but it was Claire, and he couldn't just ignore her problems. "You know...I get why you did, but running away probably isn't going to help. He's probably blaming himself and thinking he took advantage of you or something." That was how he had felt after they got drunk that time, before they'd sorted things out.

"Well, that's good," Dean said, more relieved than he had expected. "I mean...it probably makes it a lot less confusing. You're not worrying about new feelings and stuff." Shit. He was so screwed. So very, very screwed.

"No, actually," Dean said. "Well, Allison and I hooked up, but she wasn't exactly weird or random. It was more like...two friends hooking up. Like you and Jim. We didn't make a big deal after. It was what it was." He shrugged. "And...uh...no, she won't. She's gone now. Sent back home, I guess." He kind of missed her. He shook that off and grinned. "So nobody's going to be standing up and objecting, unless Jim decides he wants to run off with you."

Claire laughed and gave a definitive shake of her head. "No," she assured him, "Jim definitely won't be doing that. Ever." She couldn't even imagine such a thing. Her and Jim? No way. They were friends. Almost like siblings. Definitely nothing else was there, not even after what had happened. Especially because of what had happened.

She offered him another bite of ice cream and glanced down at the tub. "I have to wonder," she admitted after a second. Slowly she peered back up at him. "Jo got her memories back and then this... thing happened, between her and Castiel. Only, I'm pretty sure he wasn't the one she was," Claire paused, hesitated, finally settled on, "interested in. In fact, I'm almost positive."

She didn't come outright and say that Jo might be with Castiel as a way to get over Dean. She wasn't one hundred percent certain and, somehow, saying it made it seem even more real to her than it was already. The only thing was, she didn't know how she felt about that.

"Good," Dean said, then quickly continued. "I mean...it's always awkward when hypothetical weddings get broken up and the bride runs off with a starship captain. And the zombie cake would go to waste and it would be a shame." Yeah, that was exactly what he meant. Really. Shut up. Damn it, he was so frigging screwed. "Look," he said finally, "since the whole wedding thing would be kind of rushing things and I don't want your uncle to murder me...Zombieland's playing at the theater. Do you maybe want to go?" Wow, Dean, that was smooth.

He took a bite of the ice cream and considered what she was saying. "I know how Jo felt," he said, "and maybe if things had gone differently...but they didn't. Jo's a good friend, and she's like family, but that's all it's ever going to be." He paused. "And I don't think she would do that to Cas. I hope she wouldn't. She's not the kind of person who would...they're friends. They've become friends since she got here, and I can't imagine she would use him for a rebound. She knows better. Let's just hope for the best and not worry about it too much. Okay?"

"Don't worry about it," Claire echoed with a nod. "Right. I can do that." She hoped she could. She wanted Castiel and Jo to be happy. They deserved it. And as long as Dean was aware that this could, theoretically speaking, be a rebound thing and he was the reason for it... well, she wasn't the one that had to deal with that. He did. Or not. Which seemed to be the route he was taking.

Either way, she was clear of it. She would be a friend to both Jo and Castiel and would just let everything else sort itself out. Another bite of the ice cream and she realized she'd yet to actually answer Dean's initial question. She was trying to ignore the tingling in her gut at the invitation, telling herself that they were just friends.

So far, it wasn't working very well.

"Zombieland sounds great!" That wasn't the answer she'd been planning on giving. Now that she'd agreed, though, she found she didn't want to change her mind. Instead she smiled and dug the spoon back into the ice cream. "Though you're wrong. Peter wouldn't actually kill you." She paused and her head tilted a bit as she considered.

"Well," she amended with a teasing grin, "he might. But odds are, Gabriel would do the actual killing. Peter would probably just glare a lot. But we should still stick with the movie, I think, because nobody wants to be at the end of a Peter Petrelli glare." There was mock seriousness in her tone as she slid the spoon into her mouth, then grinned around it.

"It's their business and they'll work through it," Dean said. "And we'll be their friends no matter what happens." He did feel bad, because this wouldn't have even been an issue if he had just had the good sense to have feelings for Jo. Everything certainly would have been easier for all parties. But that hadn't happened and he refused to feel guilty for not feeling the same way she did. You couldn't force feelings after all.

Besides, even if there had ever been even the slightest chance before, it was gone now. Cas had feelings for Jo and that put her firmly off-limits. Cas was his best friend, and Dean believed in Bros before Hos, especially where the angel was concerned. Because Cas was new to this, and he didn't need to get his little angel-heart broken.

And anyway, he was currently attempting to ask Claire on a date, which was going about as well as anything in his life ever did. She still hadn't said yes or no and he was beginning to wonder if he'd made an epic mistake when she finally spoke. "Great," he said, with a relieved grin. "That's great. And I sound like a dumbass right now, so if I say it's great again, you're free to smack me."

"Shit," he said. "I'm gonna have to go ask the Lady to protect me from your crazy family, aren't I? Hey! Maybe his kid'll...Maddie, right? Like I was saying, maybe she'll do something really cute and he'll forget to kill me. It could happen. Babies do cute things a lot. I think. I've never spent much time around babies, but it's generally assumed they're cute and I don't want to die for taking you on a date."

Claire had started grinning at the comment about him being a dumbass. She was slowly starting to cheer up, not simply fake it, but found herself quite suddenly unsure just what to feel as his last words washed over her.

A date. He had said date. Suddenly, the entire world around her was slightly off kilter. The feelings she'd had, the ones that she had been trying to ignore for some time now, were no longer willing to be ignored and immediately surged to the surface. She drew in a breath, swallowed hard, and tried to force herself to get past that one word that had instantly changed everything.

Date. It was a date. Not her hoping it was a date while knowing it wasn't. No, clearly Dean hadn't asked her to the movies as friends, as she'd originally assumed. And she knew that fact should change her answer. It certainly made everything else different. But she found that she wasn't as nervous about the prospect as she was... excited. Very, very excited, truth be told.

And just like that, Claire's crisis was over. Or at least as over as it was going to get for the time being. Her smile was back in full force and she peered up at Dean brightly. "You won't die," she assured him, reaching out and patting his knee lightly. "I promise." Of course, there was still the matter of her needing to talk to Jo, but Claire wasn't going to worry about that right now. Yes, it might make things a little awkward between them, but she could only hope the other girl would eventually realize that they couldn't help how they felt anymore than she could... and Claire certainly hadn't intentionally set out to hook up with Dean.

But she wasn't going to feel bad for having done so, either.

"So... when should we plan on going?"

Dean was pretty much unaware of Claire's internal crisis. He'd dealt with his own after the night they'd got drunk. At first, he'd worried that Claire was only acting on her feelings for Priestly, and he hadn't wanted to do anything in case Priestly came back. Eventually, he'd accepted that he and Claire had a connection wholly unrelated to the way he resembled her last boyfriend, and that it wasn't likely Priestly was coming back. And even if he did, it likely wouldn't be the Priestly who had been dating Claire, so it was sort of a moot point.

Then there was the issue of Jo, but that wasn't so much an issue as an awkward situation. Dean knew how she felt about him, but he just didn't feel the same way. And it wasn't like he could date her just to spare her feelings. That wouldn't be fair to either of them. He also wasn't going to stop dating all together. The only really awkward part was that Jo and Claire were friends, and he didn't want to get between them. But Jo was apparently with Cas now, so he didn't see the problem. He really hoped that Claire was wrong about it being a rebound on Jo's part, because he didn't want Cas's first trip into the dating realm to end badly, but he trusted her not to hurt Cas. And, on a slightly selfish note, it made him feel less guilty about pursuing things with Claire.

"Okay," he said, "that's good. Dying sucks." And he had experience, so he could say things like that. He grinned at her, feeling pretty damn pleased with the way things were going. "Tomorrow night?" he asked. "seven-thirty? We can grab something to eat beforehand at that diner. You know the one. I mean...if you want." Dinner and a movie. It was sort of a cliché as far as dates went, but sometimes the clichés just worked.

Dinner and a movie. With Dean. As far as clichés went, Claire had to admit she was really liking this one. The smile on her face, that had at some point gone from teasing to sincere, was proof of that fact.

"The diner with the amazing homemade pies, right?" she replied, already knowing that's the one he meant. She couldn't picture eating a dinner with Dean at a diner that didn't sell pies, really. That would almost be like eating someplace that didn't sell chocolate milk, as far as she was concerned. Just wasn't going to happen.

"And seven thirty works great for me." Any time would have worked great, really. Claire didn't have many plans and those she did have, she could easily cancel or rearrange. Still. She didn't want to sound desperate or anything. Nevermind that Dean would know about pretty much anything major that was going on already. They did live together, after all.

Which also meant, Claire realized quite suddenly, she couldn't just take this with a grain of salt and run with it. Yes, she might have come to terms before with the fact that their friendship would possibly suffer if they ever were to try actually dating. And yes, she might have decided a while ago that she'd take that chance. But they also lived together. Which meant, if they did date, they wouldn't be able to avoid one another if things took a turn for the worse. Or even get a real break from each other, as a couple. It was something she knew they needed to discuss.

It was also something she wasn't at all sure she wanted to bring up.

"So... we're really going to give this a shot, then?" Again, not what she'd meant to say. Claire felt her stomach tighten a bit and she swallowed hard before looking up at Dean. "I mean, I want to. It's not that I don't. But I don't want to lose... this, either." She motioned between them, knowing he would know what she was talking about. Hoping he would understand what she was trying to say.

"There's another diner?" Because, as far as Dean was concerned, any other diner didn't count. Amazing homemade pies were where it was at! But that totally wasn't the point. The point was that he had a date with Claire and things were going right for the first time in a while and he was happy with the way things were going.

"Great," he said. "I'll pick you up at seven-thirty." He trailed off and thought about it for a moment. "Which I guess means I'm going to go bug Cas for a while before that, and then come back at seven-thirty to get you." That worked. Dating the normal way was hard when you lived in the same apartment.

The same apartment. Which meant they'd be coming back to the same apartment after the date and...he pushed that thought aside. Whatever happened, happened. And he wasn't going to overthink that part. It might have been the first time in a long time that Dean wasn't thinking about sex in relation to a date, but he wasn't bothered by it. This wasn't a one night stand or something. This was Claire and she was different. He really liked her. Sex, when or if it happened, was secondary to wanting to spend time with her. And he was all right with that. More than all right, really.

"Yeah," he said, a little surprised. "We are. Wow...we're giving this a shot." He smiled, reaching over and taking Claire's hand. "Hey," he said. "You're one of my best friends, more than anything else, okay? The rest is just...a really cool bonus." He squeezed her hand reassuringly as he continued. "Even if it doesn't work out, we won't let it get in the way of being friends. Deal?"

Claire wasn't sure which part of that she was smiling about. Whether it was the question about the diner, or the comment about bugging Castiel just so he could actually pick her up for the date, or the fact that he just seemed to get what her concern about all of this was. All she knew was that she was smiling and, for the first time in a while, she was happy. Not just at the situation, or because Dean was naturally a funny guy - which, as far as she was concerned, he most definitely was - but she was actually happy.

Squeezing his hand back, she gave a nod of her head. "Deal," she agreed. She knew, of course, if things didn't work out that they might never get back to the point they were at now. But it was worth the risk, as far as she was concerned. Just like it was going to be worth it, even when her family got wind of the whole situation. Because while she was sure both Angela and Peter would be happy for her, at least on some level, she didn't think for one second either would be okay with her dating someone that was twelve years older than she was.

Still. It was a lecture she would endure, and survive, and she wasn't going to let their opinions or the opinions of anyone else keep her from this. Because she was happy, finally, and Dean was the one responsible for it. Which said a lot more about just how much he meant to her than anything she could ever think to actually say out loud.

"And thanks," she finally tacked on. Realizing it sounded more like an afterthought than a sincerely made statement, Claire tried again. "I mean, for... everything. For this, especially." She paused and added teasingly, "Even if it wasn't very fair of you to hold ice cream hostage, just to get me to talk."