InsaneJournal

Rachel was having issues. Massive issues. Her greatest fear was to backslide and go back to the heroin that had almost killed her before... and she'd come close to temptation not too long ago. She'd resisted, but she'd had to fight damn hard to do it. To her, it was even worse than being alone. She could handle being alone if she was strong enough to resist the drug habit she used to have.

When she felt it coming on, Rachel chose to run. She just left the apartment and took off at a run. If she could just run it out, she'd be fine. Even in this time, when there weren't any real drugs she could get her hands on, she needed to run it out. So she did.

In a pair of those itchy as hell pants and an equally itchy top, Rachel ran through town. Ran out the demon chasing her. She'd done it this way in the beginning and it had worked, so Rachel was sure it would work again.

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Rachel barely heard the 'hey' that was aimed in her direction. Hell, she thought it was meant for someone else. She just kept running. She had to run it out, had to beat it. And if that meant running it into exhaustion, all the better. Hell, she hadn't even realized that it was Cooper who was speaking at all, much less to her. She hadn't thought he'd ever speak to her again after that mishap in the club and then the apology over the journals. An apology over journals. Ha! He should have damn well apologized to her face to face. She may not have wanted to see him, but it would have proved his sincerity. Anyone could say anything over journals. They didn't have to look at the people they were talking to.

But she needed a breather, so she stopped, bending to rest her hands on her knees. She could feel the sweat running down her temple, but she ignored it. No use in complaining about it. She just reached up and wiped it away with the palm of her hand. As she tried to control her breathing, she closed her eyes and tried to picture the reasons being sober was worth the effort she put into it.

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Chancing to turn her head and look over her shoulder - as if looking for the reason she was running like it was a physical being - she saw him. Cooper Lee. Good Lord how did he always look so fucking gorgeous? Even when he was just standing there and turning away. It wasn't fair. He wasn't supposed to look that... well... yummy. How did she always fall for the ones that ended up hating her. It figured, didn't it?

With a sigh, Rachel shook her head and turned to continue her run. She should know better. She shouldn't want to go to him. Shouldn't want to get close to him again, especially after that scene at her job. She should want to stay as far away from him as she could get.

Damn she was weak. So fucking weak. It was a wonder she'd been able to stay sober as long as she had.

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To say she was surprised when he approached her and apologized face to face would have been an understatement. She was flat out floored. After everything, he had a right to be angry with her, but no one had the right to treat her as he had. Especially when she'd loved him as she did. Sure, maybe she'd lied, but she'd been desperate. Other people had done a whole lot worse than she had in her life. And she knew it first hand.

Still, she looked at him and just blinked. "You... you were a grade A asshole, Cooper. You were horrible. Maybe I shouldn't have let you talk, but I know what it's like to need to actually talk and not have anyone to talk to. Do you really think you'd have felt better if it was to a stranger? It's probably better you told me anyway. How many people do you really want knowing you want someone you treated like a whore?"

Okay, yeah. She was a little bitter. But she had a right to be. She was thrown into this new place, with people from her world in different times... and didn't it just figure that he'd be around here still able to hate her? Her life seriously sucked.

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"What do you want from me, Cooper? You can't stand me and yet you keep trying to be nice to me. Unless you're drunk. And then when you weren't touching me you were acting like I killed your puppy." Recalling how he ran his tongue along her skin, pushing that bill under her thong, she shivered. Just arguing with him seemed to keep the heroin urge at bay. Gave her something to focus on, and for a moment, a flash of lust lit up her eyes as she imagined how much better sex could keep the urge at bay.

They'd always had great sex.

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Oh God... how was she going to handle this? Thinking it and actually doing it were two different things but he seemed to be well on his way to taking her to bed. And Rachel? She wasn't planning to complain anything soon. Not when his tongue was running along hers and his arms - good God those arms - were wrapped so tightly around her. She'd misse the feel of this. Of him holdling onto her. Of him wanting her. It overwhelmed her senses and had her responding in kind. He always knew how to work her over.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she returned the kiss. She didn't realize just how much she'd missed this until now. Until he was giving it to her again. But they weren't at his apartment or hers, and in the time it may take to get there, they could both realize that this was probably a bad idea, so Rachel was taking what she was getting when she was getting it. He would do this out in the open where he couldn't have her.

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Not an option? Obviously with the speed that Cooper was taking this. The usually slower moving of the two (when not on the racetrack) had her on the ground and underneath him in record time. Right in the middle of the freaking village! She didn't know what to do in the beginning, her head spinning from the fact that Cooper was finally removing her clothes and touching her. God, she had always loved his touch. Those big hands just made things all the more amazing for her. She didn't see that changing anytime soon.

But still, they were in the middle of town. And there were people around even if it was evening. People that had wandered about as he did. And currently, at least three who found them in this position. Oh fucking great. Even as she cried out when his tongue touched her center, she knew this was a bad idea. At least, doing it where they were at the moment anyway. She needed to get through to him, get him to move their location.

She was already wet for him, dripping like a leaky faucet, but she had to get her wits about her. And when he moved up her body completely nude, she groaned against his kiss. "Cooper," she whispered, "Cooper, we have to move. We can't do this here." There were too many people. Rachel was kinky, but not that kinky.

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He was so damned frenzied, as if the world would end if he didn't take her right that moment. And Rachel didn't care why. All she knew was that he wanted her and she was weak when it came to Cooper Lee. She'd always been weak. He'd been the first - and only - person who had ever had her actively begging for his attention. If that didn't boost a guy's ego, she didn't know what would, but it had been shit for her own. She'd turned in to one of those clingy girls who always irritated the fuck out of her. And yet, he'd done it to her so damn easily.

Feeling the grass and dirt underneath her, she arched up into his hand, whimpering at the feel of his calloused fingers sliding over her clit and center. She was wet. Extremely wet. And he was the only one that got her that way that fast. Rachel would never admit it, but it had always been him. Maybe even before she knew who he was. They always said fate worked in mysterious ways, whoever they were.

Fucking in the woods like animals... that's what they were doing. Or what they were about to be doing. And Rachel couldn't bring herself to say no. Wouldn't stop him. It was kinky, sex in public. It was the kind of kinky that Rachel would do. That Rachel was known for.

Hearing Cooper's words, she breathed, arching into him again. She slid her legs around his and moaned. "Please, Cooper. I need you. God, I want you." He was so damn addicting and he knew it. That was part of the reason getting caught up with him sucked. The other reason was that it was no doubt going to only hurt worse later on.

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The instant he slammed home, Rachel's muscles clenched down around him, made her entrance smalled, more constricting. Made him feel it. And she wanted him to feel it. No, she needed him to feel it. To remember what he'd turned away. What he'd had once upon a time on a regular basis. She needed him to remember what he'd thrown away. A girl who had fallen in love with him. Sure, she'd only been seventeen at the time, but she'd never understood why he was so willing to believe in Haley and Nathan's love for each other, but not her own for him.

It felt amazing to feel him filling her body again. He always gave her a pleasant stretched feeling. A slight burn of friction and good God, she was putty in his hands. And the sex... the sex was fucking beyond what she always expected. He alaways knew what he was doing and always had Rachel's toes curling in both anticipation and pleasure. And the difference between condom and no condom? It only made things more spectacular.

As he pinned her hands down to the ground, dominant and forceful, she gasped. It excited her when he played the dominant role in their sex games. And to hear him groaning out her name - no one else's, no muttering groans, her name - it was so incredibly arousing.

Staring into those light blue eyes, she knew it would only intensify the orgasm that would be coming. He was thrusting hard and fast, and she was expecting bruises to pop up later. She wouldn't mind, not if she could look up and see those eyes staring down at her in that manner. With lust and need. Oh yes, if she could stare at that for eternity, she might very well sell her soul.

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If she could have, Rachel would have wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her fingers into his hair. Would have held him to her so that she could feel him so much more than she felt him now. Even as he pressed down flush against her. She groaned as she rippled and clenched around his cock, helping to lubricate the passage between them with her juices as he thrust home again and again. He was everything she'd wanted in a lover, in a partner. And he'd walked away so easily. Had cast her aside without so much as a glance it seemed. And now... now he was using her body against her once again. And she still, knowing this, couldn't tell him no.

Instead, she tightened her hold on his hands. There wasn't much strength there compared to his, but she clenched his hands like she clenched his cock all the same. She wanted him deep inside of her and staying there. She wanted to actually wake up in his arms for once, just to know the feeling, and be able to feel like he wanted her there for more than just sex. If that were to ever happen, they'd have a long way to go.

The sweat that formed on her body slid across her skin and his as he pushed her further towards that ending exclamation. There was a spot he always seemed to be able to hit, and even now, after it being so long and she was crying out his name, it hadn't changed.

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Her nipples could cut glass as hard as they were at the moment. And his thumbs running over the oversensitized buds didn't help any. Neither did it help to have his hand sliding down between them and causing her to buck sharply with his name screaming from her lips. Fuck, those hands. "Fuck!" She knew if they weren't quiet they could wind up in some deep shit. It was just how it was. Especially in this time. She paid attention in History, no matter how much it bored her. She knew what happened to those branded whores and witches. They became victims and Rachel would kill people before she let them do anything to her.

"Cooper. Oh God, Cooper," she breathed. Her oragasm was beginning to rip through her, to build in the pit of her stomach until it coiled and tightened with the heat there. It only took a couple of thrusts more to send her crashing over the edge of her pleasure with a scream of pleasure that had her shaking with uncontrollable shivers. The effects of her orgasm tearing through her was powerful, and damn if she didn't enjoy it.

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Laying underneath him after she felt him release inside of her, Rachel couldn't help but notice the difference between sex with a condom and sex without. She wasn't sure she could deal with sex with a condom when it came to Cooper again. It felt too damn good without it. And she did have the pills. She was sure she had at least a week's supply left. This couldn't last too much longer, could it? She seriously hoped not. That had been too amazing to bypass for fear of getting her own little hellspawn that could grow up with Brooke's. Rachel had no illusions. She knew she wasn't cut out to be a mother.

Her slim body shook and jerked without rhythm from the aftershocks of riding out both orgasms, but the redheaded former cheerleader and model welcomed the feelings with open arms. It had been much too long since someone made her jerk like that, so it only seemed right that it was Cooper once again.

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Rachel felt the muscles of her stomach jump at the touch of his fingers. She couldn't help it. His touch always brought some sort of reaction from her. What she found she'd been too preoccupied to think about, was the urge that she had was gone now. Completely. She'd been right. A good romp with Cooper had driven the need for that drug away for the moment. And what a way for it to go. She could drive them away like that any day of the week. And as often as it took too. Damn. It really did figure that he'd have the experience to override it. That it would be him.

Thing was, Rachel had always known the sex was good. She was always ready for the sex. What startled her was the gentle kiss that followed it. As if they were nothing more than long time intimate lovers sharing a regular experience between the two of them. As if they both hadn't ripped each others' hearts out more than once. She shivered, this time from the chill in the air. In all the action she really had forgotten how cold it was. And she was incredibly naked... without the warmth of a male body on top of her.

Swallowing, Rachel sat up and ran a hand through her hair. Shivering again, she reached for her clothes, finding only half of them. Where had the rest gone?

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When he spoke, she couldn't help but grin as she shimmied into her clothes. "Yeah... it's always amazing," she admitted, giving a small nod as she tied her top loosely. Maybe she should have tied it tight - then he wouldn't have gotten it off so easily.

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To say that he had surprised her yet again when he pulled her back down was the understatement of the year. Still, his kisses were more of a drug than Heroin was and it wasn't exactly a habit she wanted to kick. Even if it would end up with her being hurt again.

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"What do you want from me, Cooper?" she asked, softly, once again. He'd had the sex. He'd fucked her hard and made her remember just that much more why she'd fallen in love with him. And now... now he was treating her as if she were his. Not just having fun, but his.

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Swallowing, the redhead looked down from where she sat on top of one Cooper Lee: Racecar driver and the only man on Earth who had ever really broken her heart. And he was saying he wanted her back.

Blinking, she wondered if maybe she had given in to temptation after all. Maybe she was halucinating this.

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Rachel shook her head, realizing this was not a hallucination. "No... Cooper just... stop for a second. If I didn't feel the way I felt about you, you wouldn't have been able to get me into the woods so easily. But we hurt each other pretty damn bad before," she pointed out.

"And for a second there, I thought I was hallucinating." The track marks on her arm - though old - were visible.

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"Heavily," Rachel admitted. "To the point of an overdose that Brooke and Owen managed to bring me back from. Don't ask me how or why. I was just thankful. But they still bothered her, which was why she bent her arm to hide the marks.

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She didn't need him to be proud of her. She was proud enough of herself for kicking the habit. Now she just had to keep the urge at bay as she had earlier. When they'd started this thing.

Breathing in deep and closing her eyes when he brushed his fingers over her cheek, though, Rachel swallowed. "We can't. We can't just rush into this like we did last time." Sure, the circumstances had been different then, but she was going to be firm in this.

"Our history is too much of a black mark so if we do this... IF... we have to do it right."

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"Yeah well, I really don't want to get hurt again either." She didn't bother telling him that she didn't want to hurt him again. They'd passed that stage. He already knew this.

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"How was I supposed to believe it was hard for you, Cooper?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "You seemed to cast me to the side just as easily as my parents always had."

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Rachel hadn't been known for making smart choices. And a smart choice right now would be to get up and leave. To never let him trick her into loving him again. So of course, Rachel did the opposite. She closed her eyes, took a breath, and swallowed. "I'm going to trust you, Cooper Lee. But I swear to God, if you fuck me over this time, you are going to live to regret it."

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Pulling her arm away from his mouth when he kissed the track marks, Rachel squirmed slightly. She didn't like anyone seeing those - let alone touching them. For Cooper to be kissing them... it didn't feel right. And Rachel felt dirty... not the fun kind of dirty either.

"Alright then. I'll hold you to that." Leaning down

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