Severus T. Snape (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} snark_master) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} colligo_threads,@ 2009-09-20 22:31:00 |
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Who: Severus
When: Backdated to the middle of last night
Where: Building C
Rating/Warnings: Severus 'handles' his worst fear, it's surprisingly PG-ish, but I'll say PG-13.
Status: Open (... pretty much anyone but Lily might get hexed - this is Severus after all)
The oppressing darkness started to give way to a dull, unfeeling light, hinting that this was yet again another dream – nightmare, Severus considered any kind of dreaming to be such, as he should not be dreaming in the first place. He tried to wake himself up, force himself through the magical exercises that were supposed to work- Why wouldn’t they work?! With panting, exhausting exasperation Severus gave up, taking a step back, his hand reaching at his side for support. Those exercises should also be as easy as making a boil curing potion, not a thing that sapped his energy to the point he could barely stand.
There was nothing to do but accept the visions to come at him.
The light started to fill the room so that it took shape around him - no, not a room, but an empty, interminably long hall – however, the darkness refused to give up the crevasses, creating perfect hiding places for vermin, rodents… snakes. This was not a new scene; Severus’s nightmares took place in a hall just like this, just like where he lived, at least once a night. He tried, as he had done countless times prior to this night during previous nightmares, to peer into those corners, tried to discern their secrets, but they steadfastly concealed whatever lie hidden.
He took a hesitant step forward, just as always before, as if his body was now moving out of habit. He wanted to stop, each step brought him closer to what he knew he would find. He did not want to see it, Lily hurt, and him having had not way to stop it. He could not bear the sight of Lily in pain, or sad, and yet every night, every time he closed his eyes she would be before him, sobbing, maimed, or worse, dead, and always at his hands – his fault…
He was just passing the stairwell when a movement out of the corner of his eye pulled at his attention. He spun around, and realized he moved with all the lucidity and alacrity as if he were awake.
And then Severus knew he wasn’t dreaming, the cotton stuffed ear feeling, and the impaired, shifting vision was not present. He could hear and see perfectly clear, every sense tingling in anticipation.
He paused, heart beating furiously in his chest, looking for the source of that flutter of movement.
The hall was silent, and if it were possible, appeared emptier.
When nothing moved for a solid ten seconds, Severus filled his chest, and sighed painfully. He didn’t know how he got out of his room with no recollection of opening the door, but, he reasoned, no sleep for two days would do that to a person.
Shaking his head at his own idiocy, Severus turned to go back to his flat.
He heard the distinct hiss breathing before any other senses registered the figure standing before him.
Regulus had been telling the truth; and, Severus understood, this was the reason for his nightmares.
His blood chilled in his veins, and his heart dropped into the dark pit that had opened in his stomach at the sight of Lord Voldemort. Severus forgot how to breathe. Though he had been in the man’s presense so many times, he had successfully lied to the Dark Lord on countless occasions already, and yet never had Severus felt such certain fear as now in this moment.
“Such fear, Severus?” Lord Voldemort drawled, almost as if he were bored.
“I- n-no, my Lord, I-” Severus choked on the words, his mouth so dry he was surprised he could say anything. He tried to steady his breathing and the beating of his heart, to control his fear so he could hide it, but it was no use – he was going on so little sleep he just couldn’t make it work.
“There is no need to hide things from me, Severus,” this time his name came out as a hiss, “You should be proud.”
Severus stared at the Dark Lord, he had no idea to what the other man was referring – but he was not so stupid as to immediately accept the Dark Lord’s words at face value, this could be a ruse, he might be leading Severus into a false sense of security – there was so much Severus had done that would anger Lord Voldemort that it was best to just keep his mouth shut until he knew more.
“I-I have no idea w-what you are talking about,” he tried to swallow, his throat had become painful from the lack of moisture, but the attempt to swallow was even more painful.
“No need for false modesty,” there was a dark sneer on the other man’s face, “I think you do know.”
There was a moment of silence where Severus desperately tried to think of what he could have done that would elicit this adulation.
The Dark Lord smiled hideously when he saw his disciple struggling, “You gave me the information about the prophecy, it is only fitting you should lead me right to them-”
Realization crushed in on Severus, “What?! No I-”
The Dark Lord was mistaken; it had to have been someone else. Regulus was the only other Death Eater here, a ‘former’ Death Eater for the most part, and Severus knew how disturbed the younger man was over the Dark Lord’s appearance. However, Severus would not put it past him to do something like this to gain favor again.
“Oh yes, it was you who called me,” Lord Voldemort pointed lethargically at Severus’s arm.
Horrified, Severus looked down, knowing what he would see, feel, before his eyes focused first on the burning Mark on his left arm, and then on the wand in his right hand.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
He started shaking his head before he knew what he was doing. He tried to pull up the memory of doing such a thing, but all he could find was darkness. There was no way he could have done this, though the evidence proved his guilt.
He had betrayed Lily, again – the time before he could say he did it out of ignorance, now, without the recollection of his actions, the flimsy excuses from before had burned down to ash.
Breathing was agony, and Severus realized he had been screaming.
The Dark Lord started to laugh, a deep, gut wrenching sound that trampled all hope inside Severus.
Severus knew the Dark Lord was taunting him now, playing with him – punishment would be too kind a word for what Lord Voldemort was doing. The Dark Lord knew of Severus’s treachery and was now striking back for all those misdeeds against him.
Severus wanted to move, to at least strike out making an effort to fix what he had rendered, but his arms and legs were like cement, weighing him to the spot. He could only watch as the Dark Lord slithered past him, cackling all the while.
What had he done? How could he?! His Lily!
She was finally safe, and happy - no thanks to anything he had done. He had failed her before, and some how, she had found it deep within her to let him back in her life again. And how had he repaid her?
The tears were dripping from his chin before he knew he was crying. One splashed on his forearm, seeming to burn into the Mark. The hot throb of pain pulled his mind loose, and then his limbs, allowing him to move again.
He raced down the hall after the Dark Lord, hurtling whatever hex or curse came to mind, the darker the better. Flashes of light, spells, bounced off the walls, floors, and ceiling around them, blasting holes here, scaring wood there – Severus didn’t care as long as something struck home. But every one that came close was blocked by the simple twitches of Lord Voldemort’s wand. The man merely looked as if he were swatting at a fly, never casting a spell of his own, preferring, instead, to watch Severus’s pitiful attempts, his laughter still echoing up the hall - besides, striking back at Severus would come later. It was futile of Severus to continue in this vein, but he never ceased, he had to stop the Dark Lord from reaching Lily.
But it was too late, Lord Voldemort had reached Lily’s door, and with a swish of his wrist the knob turned. But Severus was still so far away.
“I’ll bring the mudblood out for you, I want you to watch,” The Dark Lord practically spit out the words. He turned to enter the flat, but paused, shooting a contemptuous sneer at Severus, his laughter finally stopped, “Pity, you could have been great.”
Severus reached the door just as it shut.
He tried the knob and it wouldn’t budge, he slammed his shoulder against it uselessly. His spells bounced off the wood, leaving behind no singes or mars. Desperately he called out to her, but knew his words would never warn her. The Dark Lord must have done something and there was nothing Severus could do.
But still Severus pounded on Lily's door.
When: Backdated to the middle of last night
Where: Building C
Rating/Warnings: Severus 'handles' his worst fear, it's surprisingly PG-ish, but I'll say PG-13.
Status: Open (... pretty much anyone but Lily might get hexed - this is Severus after all)
The oppressing darkness started to give way to a dull, unfeeling light, hinting that this was yet again another dream – nightmare, Severus considered any kind of dreaming to be such, as he should not be dreaming in the first place. He tried to wake himself up, force himself through the magical exercises that were supposed to work- Why wouldn’t they work?! With panting, exhausting exasperation Severus gave up, taking a step back, his hand reaching at his side for support. Those exercises should also be as easy as making a boil curing potion, not a thing that sapped his energy to the point he could barely stand.
There was nothing to do but accept the visions to come at him.
The light started to fill the room so that it took shape around him - no, not a room, but an empty, interminably long hall – however, the darkness refused to give up the crevasses, creating perfect hiding places for vermin, rodents… snakes. This was not a new scene; Severus’s nightmares took place in a hall just like this, just like where he lived, at least once a night. He tried, as he had done countless times prior to this night during previous nightmares, to peer into those corners, tried to discern their secrets, but they steadfastly concealed whatever lie hidden.
He took a hesitant step forward, just as always before, as if his body was now moving out of habit. He wanted to stop, each step brought him closer to what he knew he would find. He did not want to see it, Lily hurt, and him having had not way to stop it. He could not bear the sight of Lily in pain, or sad, and yet every night, every time he closed his eyes she would be before him, sobbing, maimed, or worse, dead, and always at his hands – his fault…
He was just passing the stairwell when a movement out of the corner of his eye pulled at his attention. He spun around, and realized he moved with all the lucidity and alacrity as if he were awake.
And then Severus knew he wasn’t dreaming, the cotton stuffed ear feeling, and the impaired, shifting vision was not present. He could hear and see perfectly clear, every sense tingling in anticipation.
He paused, heart beating furiously in his chest, looking for the source of that flutter of movement.
The hall was silent, and if it were possible, appeared emptier.
When nothing moved for a solid ten seconds, Severus filled his chest, and sighed painfully. He didn’t know how he got out of his room with no recollection of opening the door, but, he reasoned, no sleep for two days would do that to a person.
Shaking his head at his own idiocy, Severus turned to go back to his flat.
He heard the distinct hiss breathing before any other senses registered the figure standing before him.
Regulus had been telling the truth; and, Severus understood, this was the reason for his nightmares.
His blood chilled in his veins, and his heart dropped into the dark pit that had opened in his stomach at the sight of Lord Voldemort. Severus forgot how to breathe. Though he had been in the man’s presense so many times, he had successfully lied to the Dark Lord on countless occasions already, and yet never had Severus felt such certain fear as now in this moment.
“Such fear, Severus?” Lord Voldemort drawled, almost as if he were bored.
“I- n-no, my Lord, I-” Severus choked on the words, his mouth so dry he was surprised he could say anything. He tried to steady his breathing and the beating of his heart, to control his fear so he could hide it, but it was no use – he was going on so little sleep he just couldn’t make it work.
“There is no need to hide things from me, Severus,” this time his name came out as a hiss, “You should be proud.”
Severus stared at the Dark Lord, he had no idea to what the other man was referring – but he was not so stupid as to immediately accept the Dark Lord’s words at face value, this could be a ruse, he might be leading Severus into a false sense of security – there was so much Severus had done that would anger Lord Voldemort that it was best to just keep his mouth shut until he knew more.
“I-I have no idea w-what you are talking about,” he tried to swallow, his throat had become painful from the lack of moisture, but the attempt to swallow was even more painful.
“No need for false modesty,” there was a dark sneer on the other man’s face, “I think you do know.”
There was a moment of silence where Severus desperately tried to think of what he could have done that would elicit this adulation.
The Dark Lord smiled hideously when he saw his disciple struggling, “You gave me the information about the prophecy, it is only fitting you should lead me right to them-”
Realization crushed in on Severus, “What?! No I-”
The Dark Lord was mistaken; it had to have been someone else. Regulus was the only other Death Eater here, a ‘former’ Death Eater for the most part, and Severus knew how disturbed the younger man was over the Dark Lord’s appearance. However, Severus would not put it past him to do something like this to gain favor again.
“Oh yes, it was you who called me,” Lord Voldemort pointed lethargically at Severus’s arm.
Horrified, Severus looked down, knowing what he would see, feel, before his eyes focused first on the burning Mark on his left arm, and then on the wand in his right hand.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
He started shaking his head before he knew what he was doing. He tried to pull up the memory of doing such a thing, but all he could find was darkness. There was no way he could have done this, though the evidence proved his guilt.
He had betrayed Lily, again – the time before he could say he did it out of ignorance, now, without the recollection of his actions, the flimsy excuses from before had burned down to ash.
Breathing was agony, and Severus realized he had been screaming.
The Dark Lord started to laugh, a deep, gut wrenching sound that trampled all hope inside Severus.
Severus knew the Dark Lord was taunting him now, playing with him – punishment would be too kind a word for what Lord Voldemort was doing. The Dark Lord knew of Severus’s treachery and was now striking back for all those misdeeds against him.
Severus wanted to move, to at least strike out making an effort to fix what he had rendered, but his arms and legs were like cement, weighing him to the spot. He could only watch as the Dark Lord slithered past him, cackling all the while.
What had he done? How could he?! His Lily!
She was finally safe, and happy - no thanks to anything he had done. He had failed her before, and some how, she had found it deep within her to let him back in her life again. And how had he repaid her?
The tears were dripping from his chin before he knew he was crying. One splashed on his forearm, seeming to burn into the Mark. The hot throb of pain pulled his mind loose, and then his limbs, allowing him to move again.
He raced down the hall after the Dark Lord, hurtling whatever hex or curse came to mind, the darker the better. Flashes of light, spells, bounced off the walls, floors, and ceiling around them, blasting holes here, scaring wood there – Severus didn’t care as long as something struck home. But every one that came close was blocked by the simple twitches of Lord Voldemort’s wand. The man merely looked as if he were swatting at a fly, never casting a spell of his own, preferring, instead, to watch Severus’s pitiful attempts, his laughter still echoing up the hall - besides, striking back at Severus would come later. It was futile of Severus to continue in this vein, but he never ceased, he had to stop the Dark Lord from reaching Lily.
But it was too late, Lord Voldemort had reached Lily’s door, and with a swish of his wrist the knob turned. But Severus was still so far away.
“I’ll bring the mudblood out for you, I want you to watch,” The Dark Lord practically spit out the words. He turned to enter the flat, but paused, shooting a contemptuous sneer at Severus, his laughter finally stopped, “Pity, you could have been great.”
Severus reached the door just as it shut.
He tried the knob and it wouldn’t budge, he slammed his shoulder against it uselessly. His spells bounced off the wood, leaving behind no singes or mars. Desperately he called out to her, but knew his words would never warn her. The Dark Lord must have done something and there was nothing Severus could do.
But still Severus pounded on Lily's door.