Peter flinched as Chris called him an idiot, still raw and shaken over what had happened, but he couldn't move away because of how the Whitelighter was holding him. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to scare you...but...if I hadn't stopped myself, it would have destroyed the whole city. Everyone would have died, and I couldn't let that happen. It nearly happened once before...and that was bad enough. I thought...I mean...in comparison to that...it was an acceptable loss." And maybe Peter was out of it if he was referring to himself as an acceptable loss, but it was equally likely that he actually felt that way. He froze as he felt Chris kiss his temple, surprised by the action. He looked up at Chris with a sort of wide-eyed awe. "I...really scared you, didn't I?" he asked, more than a little shocked. "You...I mean..." he looked down again. "You'd actually have cared if I hadn't come back." And, outside his family, he really wasn't used to that.
"I'm sorry," Peter said, in a small voice, mind still reeling with what had nearly happened. "It's just...it's hard, keeping all of it in sometimes. The first time I had this ability...I met a man named Ted Sprague...he had this ability...induced radioactivity. Basically, he could go nuclear. I'd been having visions, about an explosion wiping out New York...so when I met him I thought Sylar was going to take his power." He looked down at his hands, clearly upset by the memory. "It was me...and...my mother knew what would happen. She dreams about the future. She...wanted it to happen at the time...a disaster like that unifies people...and my brother would have been a leader in a time of crisis...it would have paved the way for him to be president." He laughed, bitterly, then continued. "Nate...he was going to go along with it. After all...what's point zero seven percent of the world's population in the long run?"
He took a shaky breath. "I knew it was a possibility that it could be me...I had that ability and I still didn't know how to control my powers yet," he said. "Claire was supposed to kill me if it came to that...one bullet in the back of the head...only way I can die. But she couldn't do it. I don't really blame her...it was a lot to ask. I was fighting Sylar when it happened...and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I remember him telling me that...in the end...I was the real villain...all the people he killed would never add up to the number I would." He shook his head. "Nate...he was an idiot...he changed his mind at the last minute and stopped me. Flew me up into the stratosphere so nobody would be hurt...except him. It nearly killed him...it would have without Adam's blood...and...I keep failing them. Him. Claire. All of them. I couldn't...I couldn't do that again."