I am quite sure there is something living under the bed. I can't see around all the cardigans and dictionaries, but I think I left a jam sandwich under there and now i can't find it. But I'm scared to look properly on my own because think of the dust and my hair, people, just THINK of it.
Maybe the fleas went rogue and have started a civilisation. I always knew life as a mere mortal was unsuited to my grandeur.