Poetry Ficlets (3/5) - 'How Do I Love Thee' (Andy Roddick/Mardy Fish) Title: The Poetry Ficlets (3/5) Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Mardy Fish/Andy Roddick Summary: First kisses are the sweetest. Disclaimer: So very not mine. Own themselves. Made it up. The plotbunnies made me do it. Blame them. Notes: Underage boys kissing. Overload of fluff. I mean a *really* bad overload of fluff, to make up for the rather severe lack of it in my last few fics.
The Poetry Ficlets – How Do I Love Thee?
~ I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely as they turn from Praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith. ~ - Elizabeth Barrett Browning, ‘How Do I Love Thee?’
~
Sneaking out has become an art form for sixteen year old Andy Roddick.
He’s spent way too many summer afternoons tiptoeing up and down the hallway cataloguing each and every squeaky floorboard; perfecting the knack of landing cat-like on the floor after jumping the last three creaky stairs; remembering which door handles screech so he has to leave them ajar before he goes to bed. His parents do their best – he was made to swap rooms with John so he couldn’t use the kitchen roof as an easy slide to the yard anymore, his mother leaves their bedroom door ajar at night and his brothers pretend to do their best with various racquets, shoes and sneakers left lying around to trip him up. Which they never do because Andy has enough blackmail material on the pair of them to get them grounded for the next decade, so each potentially betraying object is placed with utmost care on a creaking patch, effectively outlining the one safe path between Andy’s room and the back door. All of which means the actual act of sneaking out should be as easy as breathing by now. And it is, usually.
He’s just not used to doing it with company.
Mardy is so close behind him he’s practically treading on Andy’s heels, feet soundless in red Snoopy socks that Andy knows he’s only wearing because they’re first thing his hand encountered in the bag he brought. Mardy worries way too much about what other people think of him. Andy couldn’t care less if there’s holes in his t-shirt or if the bottom of his jeans is fraying but Mardy, with a desperate desire to fade into the background, tries to be unnoticeable in every possible way. It drives Andy crazy because Mardy’s amazing, at tennis, at basketball, at kicking Andy’s ass on Mortal Kombat at the arcade and yet no one notices. Andy’s the bouncing, hyperactive one out in front, doing the crazy stunts and almost breaking his neck every other day while Mardy sits quietly to one side, content to fly under the radar. Andy loves him for it, amazed how anyone can be so happy when they’re not the centre of attention, but it drives him nuts at the same time, no one but him seeming to appreciate how wonderful Mardy is. It’s like they don’t really see him, not like Andy does.
Too quiet, his mother’s words from when she thought he wasn’t listening. Doesn’t try hard enough remarked their coach a few weeks ago. Cute but useless, the opinion of Andy’s ex. Everyone keen to label Mardy with pejoratives like insults while Andy fights to make them see what he sees - the quiet grace out on court, teenage awkwardness vanished in the love of playing; the fall of sunlight on blond fluffed hair as Mardy bends his head to read in the window seat; the heart wrenching way the older boy’s confidence crumbles under attack. When Andy looks at Mardy he sees everything he wants to be and things he knows he’ll never be, patient, calm, smart in a quietly understated way. It’s so obvious to him that Mardy is the better of the two of them. He can’t understand why no one else sees it.
He thinks, maybe, they just aren’t looking hard enough.
“Careful,” he whispers, barely breathing the word as he turns back, puts out a hand to stop Mardy taking a wrong step. There’s a clumsy moment when they almost lose their balance; Andy grabs Mardy’s arms to steady them both, bare skin warm against his palms. Mardy’s teeth flash white in the gloom as he smiles but he doesn’t speak. Andy lets himself smile back only when the hallway and stairs are behind them, reaching out to catch Mardy at the last jump. The other boy stumbles into him and for a moment they’re too close, sharing breath and Mardy’s arms go around his neck for balance, legs tangling until Andy pulls back, letting himself smile now because it’s not right yet. Mardy’s soft chuckle agrees with him and they tiptoe to the back door, Andy scooping up his suspiciously heavy school bag along the way with a clink of glass inside. Wriggling silently into their shoes and the door is an easy final hurdle; Andy checks he has his key and lets it lock behind them, looping his arm through Mardy’s as they run lightly down to the sidewalk. The Floridian night is warm even though morning is barely a glimmer of suggestion on the horizon and their sneakers make no sound as they slow to a walk, still arm in arm.
“Andy,” Mardy says after a moment. Andy is still grinning with triumph over their success and Mardy has to repeat himself before the younger boy pays attention.
“What’s up?”
“This weekend is supposed to prove we can behave right, when I come live with you?” Mardy frowns, sweetly confused and Andy wonders if he ever looked that innocent. It distracts him from answering for a moment.
“Yeah.”
“So…” Mardy’s frown deepens but there’s a smirk at the corners of his mouth. “Shouldn’t we be, you know. Behaving ourselves?”
“We can always go back,” Andy offers with mock-seriousness. “We can be back in bed in two minutes if you’re getting cold feet- ow!” Mardy had punched his shoulder. “Was that a no?”
“It was ‘don’t be stupid idiot, of course we’re not going back.’” Mardy rolls his eyes and hangs a little tighter onto Andy’s arm. “Where’re we going?”
“Beach to watch the sunrise. Unless that’s too sappy,” Andy adds, suddenly worried. “We can do something else if you want-“
“Beach and sunrise sounds great.” Mardy grins. “We should think of something to tell the cops if they pick us up though. We’ll never live through the humiliation if we have to tell them what we’re really doing- ow!” This time Andy had hit him. “Okay! I love your sappy idea. Never knew you were a romantic at heart Roddick.”
“Shut up,” Andy mumbles, slightly uncomfortable, and Mardy obediently falls silent, still smirking. Andy watches him out the corner of his eye in the weird half-light of five am. It bleaches blond to white, sun-bronzed skin to silver-grey. Mardy’s a ghost walking beside him and Andy’s suddenly afraid he’s dreaming, afraid he’s still in bed and the real Mardy is back in Vero Beach, out of reach. He snaps short his involuntary move to touch the soft cheek, run calloused fingers through the blond fluff to reassure himself this is real, that the silvered creature on his arm is more than just an imagined phantom. Mardy looks at him curiously, glancing to Andy’s outstretched hand and half -curled fingers hovering uncertainly in mid-air.
“Andy?” he asks and the hesitation in his voice jerks Andy out of the almost-trance. Mardy’s warm against his side, skin smooth and hot beneath his hand. Here. Really here, and Andy shivers with delight because it’s like a dream come to life, a dream that’s better than dreaming because he won’t wake up before the best part.
“Nothing,” he murmurs. “Come on. Don’t want to miss the sunrise.”
The beach is deserted this early, sand powdery soft under Andy’s bare feet as they pick their way down to the edge where sand meets sea, bubbling waves washing up to kiss the tips of their toes. Andy stretches his legs out as they sit, Mardy close enough to be almost in his lap and putting his arms around the other boy is a natural move, settling themselves comfortably against each other. Andy slides off the backpack and digs through it, producing Budweisers and a bottle opener.
“How did you bribe John to get this for you?” Mardy asks curiously, taking the bottle Andy opens for him. Andy shrugs.
“He screwed that redhead daughter of the guy Dad works with and I have incriminating letters to prove it. He’d be locked in his room till he’s fifty if Dad ever… found out.”
“You are evil,” Mardy mutters, leaning back against Andy who reshuffles his arms to get a hold on both Mardy and his beer. Blond hair brushes his lips as he speaks and he resists the urge to tilt Mardy’s head back to kiss him. Not yet.
“I know I am,” he teases back. “It’s my most endearing quality.”
They’re quiet for a long few minutes, the only sound the soft rush of the waves. Andy digs his toes into the cold, wet sand and feels Mardy sip his beer, the motion tipping his head briefly back on Andy’s shoulder. It’s a comfortable silence and Andy loves it, loves that only with Mardy can he finally be still, restless fidgeting gone as they simply sit, watching the horizon. The twilight grey clouds are just beginning to show hairline cracks of orange and pink and Andy admires the way the new light paints highlights of colour into Mardy’s hair, silver blending into gold.
He loves that Mardy’s beautiful, inside and out. He loves that they can sit here, watching the sunrise without words. He gets frustrated by people not seeing Mardy as he does but at the same time he’s glad, because it gives him something special that no one else can claim - he can say he knows the real Mardy Fish.
And that was worth looking harder for.
The first blinding crack of sun crests the horizon, glittering golden from the waves and from Mardy, painting him in the shades of gold Andy sees in him every day. Smiling, Andy sets down his beer and tightens his arms around the other boy’s waist. There’s a chuckle and when Mardy tilts his head back he’s smiling too, an edge of nerves to it but smiling nevertheless. Andy looks into the bright blue eyes and holds them until the very last second before their lips meet, eyelids fluttering shut.
Mardy’s mouth is hot and wet on his, a lingering trace of the beer and something sweet beneath it that may be Mardy himself, enticing enough for Andy to chase with his tongue and the resulting noise from Mardy was worth the wait. It feels like forever and not long enough when Andy finally pulls back a little but the sun’s barely moved. He swallows, an attempt to find the words to say what he wants to.
“I…”
His voice cracks and he licks his lips, the tip of his tongue brushing Mardy’s mouth. The other boy’s watching him with a small smile, lying willingly captive in his arms. “Love you Fish.”
“Love you too.” Mardy smiles and pushes up to press a briefer kiss to his lips. “You took your damn time acting on it.”
“Sorry.” Andy’s smile becomes a grin and he hugs Mardy closer to him, possession and adoration in the move. “I had to wait for the right moment.”