Multi-part: Halcyon (NC-17 overall, various, Andy Roddick/Roger Federer) Title: Epilogue(Halcyon 12) Rating: PG Pairing: Implied Roddick/Fish, implied Federer/Haas, Roddick/Federer, Fish/Haas/Safin Summary: … The world ended. People didn’t. Not quite. Notes: AU fic set in a hypothetical post-‘apocalyptic’ near future (I do love my apocalypses and jumping on the current AU bandwagon seemed like a good idea.) Disclaimer: Hasn’t… um, won’t happen to my knowledge, the various tennis players own themselves. Blame the plotbunnies. They started it. Warnings: Abuse, violence, deaths of various RL people you may be fond of, mentions of terrorism, voluntary/involuntary drug use, the world post-‘apocalypse', probably more I've missed. It’s all fun and games here.
21st October 2011 – valley in the Swiss Mountains, Switzerland
“So I guess you could say the world ended in May 2007 and began again August 2011.” Roger pulls up a blade of grass and tries to tie it in a knot, focusing on it intently. He’s told the whole story without looking up once and although he knows he’ll have to eventually, he’d rather put it off as long as possible. There’s silence all around him, broken by the soft neigh of a horse close by. He ignores it, still concentrating on the blade of grass.
“It is beginning again, sort of,” he says quietly. “Carlos and Marat spent most of last month arguing instead of helping the world but Mardy sorted it out. I’m not sure how, though I heard withholding sex was involved.” The Swiss smiles but it fades as he glances sideways towards the tree where they tethered the horses, just out of hearing distance if he speaks quietly. Andy’s leaning against the trunk, looking half asleep. “Andy still misses him I think.” Roger tugs too hard at the grass-knot and the fragile blade snaps. With a sigh he tosses it aside. “I think he always will.”
Finally he looks up, taking a deep breath. The new headstone hasn’t yet started to tarnish in the weather, no scratches marring the polished surface and the two intertwined ‘G’s as smooth as they were a month ago when they first set it in place. It snowed for the first time this morning and few stubborn flakes still cling to the side of the stone that’s in shadow, warning of the winter just around the corner. Roger sighs again and shifts little, wincing at the dampness of his jeans from the wet grass. He’s been sitting here for almost two hours.
“The house is almost finished,” he continues, smiling as he thinks of the log fire Andy insisted they have and the massive bed that takes up most of the bedroom. “It should be done by the time the snow starts falling properly. It’s not big you know, just the couple of rooms downstairs and upstairs.” A soft chuckle and he shakes his head, tucking his hands into his pockets for warmth. “Andy wanted it to be authentically rustic. I told him we’d freeze in the first snowfall and he agreed to let Carlos pulled some strings for us. We’ve got everything except cable TV and the last I heard, Mardy was working on that.”
He falls silent again, out of things to say. It’s helped to tell the whole story down to the tiniest detail, though admitting that he’ll probably never tell the real Andy whose name the American said when they first had sex was difficult. He still can’t shake the nerves every time they sleep together, even now.
Saying everything out loud has helped get it all straightened out in his head though, except the first few days after he woke up in the hospital which are still blurry and confused. Andy had refused to leave his side until Roger was sitting up and talking clearly, causing a brief panic four days later when he passed out from exhaustion. The entire hospital had heard Mardy yelling at him when he finally woke up.
“I’m still worried about Mardy,” Roger confesses quietly after a moment. “Andy said he’s almost a different person but being more confident doesn’t mean he can keep standing up to Marat like he is. Not to mention he has to take care of Tommy, which can be like taking care of a child that has detailed knowledge of explosives. You know, you were there when he exploded the kitchen that time.” Roger chuckles at the memory but his smile quickly fades. “Mardy’s too busy looking after everyone else to think about himself. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t come to us for help before the end of the winter.” A long moment of silence as Roger closes his eyes, thinking hard. When he speaks the words are soft, barely audible.
“I don’t know what Andy will do if he has to choose between us again.”
“I’d choose you, idiot.” Andy’s voice is soft and affectionate, his arms sliding around Roger from behind and making the Swiss jump. “Ssshhh. Babe, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s you I want before you’ll believe it?”
“At least a few more.” Roger leans back into the American’s arms with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Andy kisses his cheek before resting his chin on the Swiss’ shoulder, eyes fixed on the simple grey headstone. Roger shakes his head before the American can speak.
“Don’t say it’s not my fault because it was,” he murmurs. “I trained him, I sent him. I picked up the pieces.”
He feels Andy wince. “Roger, there’s nothing…” He pauses. “I know you. You wouldn’t have sent him if he didn’t want to go.”
“But did I talk him into it?” Roger sighs and turns in Andy’s arms, burying his face in the American’s shoulder. Andy hugs him tight.
“No,” he says with quiet confidence. “You wouldn’t.”
They stay still for a few minutes, arms wrapped around each other. Andy reaches up to tangle a hand in the Swiss’ hair, sliding his other hand under Roger’s shirt. Roger can feel the American go tense when he realises how cold the Swiss is.
“Roger you’re freezing. Time to go home.”
Roger makes a soft sound of assent but doesn’t move. He loves to cuddle against Andy and he doesn’t want to let go just yet, no matter how cold he is. Andy’s warm and Roger could stay wrapped around him all day. He still can’t quite believe that he’ll be sleeping next to Andy tonight and tomorrow and for the rest of the forseeable future. He still wakes up from dreams of running through empty nothingness and Andy has to hug him tightly until he can stop trembling, but they’re already getting less frequent and he knows eventually they’ll stop entirely. For now it’s just enough to have Andy there to hold on to when he wakes up.
“Rog,” Andy says softly. “C’mon. Time to go home.”
Roger lets himself be turned and gently pushed towards the horses, leaning heavily on Andy as they walk. He’s only gone three steps when he pauses to glance back, watching a few bright leaves drift down around the stone. The double G is in shadow from here but Roger can still faintly make it out.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. Andy tightens his grip around the Swiss and kisses his forehead.
“Don’t be Rog,” he says softly. “He wouldn’t want you to be.”
Roger lets himself smile, just a little. “Maybe.”
He lets himself be led up to the horses but turns before Andy can help him mount, pressing a kiss to the American’s mouth. Andy kisses him back after a brief moment of surprise.
“Andy?” Roger leans back enough to see the hazel eyes, bright and narrowed with curiosity as he waits for Roger to finish. “You know I love you right?”
Andy smiles and if there’s relief in his eyes, Roger chooses to ignore it. “Of course I know it. I love you too.”
“Okay then.” Roger kisses him again and Andy’s mouth is warm and wet under his, more than real enough to reassure Roger he’s not dreaming anymore. “Let’s go home.”