KC (doingmything) wrote in city_limits, @ 2009-04-02 21:54:00 |
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Current mood: | indescribable |
Just Keep Breathing
After she'd spent the better part of her evening answering questions and ignoring the looks from the neighbourhood Kris had finally retired into the mess that was now her gym, thankful for the fact she could start cleaning up as the police had taken their 'prints'. She had very little faith that anything conclusive would come of this whole investigation, she'd never had much luck with the authority before.
She breathed out slowly as she took a long look around herself, trying to figure out where in the hell to begin first. Kris shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it over the nearby counter, figuring the broken glass was as good a place as any to start.
It was amazing how quickly time flew when you were picking up the pieces of your life.
It was gone 8 in the morning by the time Kris had put some semblance of order back into the gym itself. She could see the floor, which was a good start. Her walls would need a repaint given the fact somebody had gone to town with a can of black spray paint in some indecipherable language which she was thought was English, but she was sure she would need some kind of PhD to read it.
The fact she had a private one-on-one lesson planned for this morning had completely slipped her notice.
Said one-to-one student was currently strolling through the doors with two cups of steaming hot coffee and a paper bag with two items of breakfast-y pastry goodness. He was whistling 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' to himself as he walked through the doors to the gym and frowned when he saw Kris.
"...Kris?" he asked, coming to a stop and his sneakers squeaked. The gym felt different, and there were a couple of broken windows. He had noticed the damage to the door when he had walked in and he frowned, his forehead creasing.
He wandered in a little further. "What happened in here, looks like someone went to town with a- woah, with black paint..."
Kris turned her head and hissed out a breath. "Shit, I totally forgot we had a lesson planned." She had been hoping to patch up the gym without anybody walking in on the mess her burglars had left behind.
She scratched at her temple, obviously self conscious. "Somebody broke in. Again." Her shoulders lifted into a shrug and her hands went right back to moving debris off the ground and into a nearby bin, swallowing the growing sense of futility as she did so.
"We should probably reschedule." The hours spent cleaning up the gym were showing on Kris - her eyes were dark, shoulders a little slumped and she had an air of despondence which wasn't usually seen.
Toby tilted his head to look at her before he strolled closer. The cardboard cup holder he had in his hand was extended. "I bought coffee and breakfast foods," he offered, " Would be a shame to waste them." He smiled and put them down on a nearby chair before he shrugged out of his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his sweater.
He eyed her for a moment, concerned at the way her shoulders slumped and the tiredness that lingered in her eyes.
"So, what can I do to help?" he asked after a moment, "Apart from finding the weasels that did this, tying their ankles to a tree, smearing them in honey and breaking a wasp's nest over their heads?"
Kris rubbed at her hair, ignoring the way it aggravated small cuts on the edges of her palm from where the glass had caught her as she'd picked up the shattered shards. "Honestly, I have no idea." She bit out a small laugh and eyed the scrawling on the nearby wall. "Guess you could try and get rid of that eyesore."
She crouched down and picked up a few broken remains of a picture she'd hung up on the wall the first day she moved into the place.
Toby eyed the scrawl and then wrinkled his nose. "Works for me," he said, "But first you need coffee and food, I bet you haven't eaten since you arrived, right?" He frowned after a moment, "When did you arrive?"
He had a nagging feeling Kris had been here all night. "Coffee and food and then we can carry on with the cleaning." He moved towards her and put a hand on the top of her head. "I'm sorry, Kris, this sucks."
"I can't remember," Kris said with another shrug of her shoulders. "I was supposed to be going to this party at Rhiannon's but then I got a call from the police and I've been here ever since, just trying to clean up the mess."
She flinched a little at the unexpected touch before seeming to catch herself. "Sorry," she muttered as she rubbed at her eye. "It's been a long night." Kris breathed out, trying to get a handle back on her emotions.
Kris rose to her feet and put a couple more things in the nearby bin.
"Rhiannon?" Toby asked, the name ringing a bell. "I met someone called Rhiannon a while back in a coffee shop. My incessant babbling didn't scare her off, always a plus. Maybe it's not the same one, though, I can't imagine Rhiannon's a common name. Like Tobias." He offered a small smile and once she had put some things in the bin, waved a hand for her to follow him. "Coffee. I'm not kidding."
And he wasn't. He reached out for his own coffee, taking a sip and lifted the other cup out of the cardboard holder, holding it out to Kris. "Voila, the java of life. Do you have any paint or d'you want me to go out and buy some?" He eyed the scrawl on the wall. "What does that even say?"
Kris took the coffee but had yet to take a sip from it, just settled for curling her fingers around the warmth the cup itself had to offer. What? It got cold at night. "I don't know that many Rhiannon's." She settled her hip against the desk, tilting her head to observe the damage that had been done to the front bit, it looked like it had either been kicked in or smashed in. Kris couldn't tell which.
Her eyes slid over to the scrawl and her shoulders hitched upwards. "I have no idea. Been considering calling Will and seeing if he can't translate it." Even if she had the feeling she didn't really want to know.
Toby sighed again. "What happened that's meant this keeps happening? It's happened too often to just be a random group of people that've taken a disliking to you." he rolled his shoulders and took another sip of his coffee. It was just on this side of too hot. Not that it bothered him. "Who'd you piss off?"
It was said jokingly, but there was an underlying worry on Toby's part. He had noticed that the classes before a couple of his had been increasingly empty - he was compulsively early for everything.
My entire neighbourhood?
Not that Kris voiced it, she just offered a smirk. "Wish I knew." She tapped her fingers against the side of the cup and folded her arms across her chest, a classic defensive posture and one she fell into with very little thought. Now was as good a time as any given that she felt like she was being targeted.
"They sure did a number this time."
Toby noticed the shift in her body language and it bought about another curious tilt of his head and a concerned lifting of his shoulders. He looked at her again before his gaze slid to his feet, shuffling them awkwardly. He put his coffee down on the table and reached for the paper bag, putting that down next to his cup. "There's food in here too. Y'know, can't break tradition..." he had made a habit of coming to these morning sessions with some kind of food or drink. Usually coffee, but the food was always something different.
He picked up his cup again to stop himself from reaching out to touch Kris. He was a physical person around the people he trusted and genuinely cared for, and when he couldn't use that physicality, he was generally at a loss. Cracking a joke seemed kind of disrespectful right now, especially since he knew how hard Kris was taking it all. He tapped his fingers against the cardboard cup and then scratched at the scar on the side of his neck. "We'll sort it out, Kris." he promised. "Won't let you do this alone."
Kris rubbed at the side of her neck, scratching her nails over skin. She put the coffee aside, she had no stomach for anything at the moment, she just wanted her gym back to normal and for everything to just stop.
"We should reschedule," she said with a nod of her head. "I mean I'm supposed to be helping you out with the whole defending yourself and given that you're one of the few clients I have left it's probably in my best interest to arrange another lesson." She pushed away from the desk and shifted a couple things to find the diary that she'd had out the night before from where she'd been picking through her finances with a fine tooth-comb.
Kris pushed her hair behind one ear and worried her lower lip for a moment. "Pretty sure my insurance is going to cover most of this mess." She was in that place where she desperately wanted somebody to tell her it was going to be okay, but then was straining away from the reassurance, trying to convince herself she could stand on her own two feet, the same way she had for most of her life.
This was her problem, she'd take care of it.
Toby glanced around and nodded, "The insurance oughta do it just fine," he said, knowing a little about it all but then he didn't know how much Kris had on her insurance and how much that would cover in a situation like this. He chewed on his lower lip and then shrugged.
"And yeah, we should reschedule, but consider today a time out. My ass can't be kicked any more this week without my ego suffering dreadfully and I don't mind helping out here. Can't- I mean, didn't you tell someone about this? How come no one came to help you?" He asked, finishing off his coffee and strolling over to look at the black words on the wall. He touched them briefly before he turned on his heel and walked back over to Kris.
He stood in front of her briefly, like someone trying not to scare off a startled deer, and put his hands on her shoulders, just gently. "It's gonna be okay," he said quietly, promising without words that he would be there to help out for as long as he was needed.
Kris flipped through the pages of the diary until she was in the right month, shoulders visibly tensing under the touch before after a little while they relaxed ever so slightly. "I kinda..." She cleared her throat and looked up briefly. "I trivialised it." She dropped her eyes again and found a date, scribbling Toby's name next to it along with a slightly later lesson.
Oy, she was so messed up.
"Anyways, is this a good day for you?" It wasn't that she didn't appreciate Toby's presence and his support because she did, she just didn't do real well with people when she was hurting in ways she couldn't express.
Toby squeezed her shoulder, having dropped one hand away so she could write. He noticed her relax and allowed himself the smallest of smiles. "Yeah, this is a good day for me. We're gonna have to change our schedule soon, but you know... we got a while." He smiled and then tutted. "Trivialising is bad, Kris," he pointed out, "If they knew what had happened, I'm sure your friends woulda been flocking, right?"
He recognised being shut out when he saw it and was oddly hurt by her closing off but he understood it. He supposed it was a Slayer thing, being an independent woman and all that. He withdrew his hand after another squeeze and stuffed them both into his pockets.
"Yeah," Kris said with a vague nod of her head. "Of course." She swallowed hard and closed the diary, knowing all too well that she'd hurt Toby by not being as open as she could have been about everything, but she just didn't know what else to do.
She smoothed her hands over the flat surface of the diary and looked up at Toby. "Um, thanks, I mean, for... you know-" And right there and then words failed her and Kris could simply offer a small smile. "I guess I should get back to cleaning up, huh? It's not like the gym's going to clean itself up."
Kris turned her head at the sound of footsteps on her wooden floors and breathed out slowly as George hovered. "Can I help you, George?"
George seemed to ignore her for a moment until he finally looked at her, a strange look in his eyes. "No, just looking."
Kris rolled her eyes and closed the distance, reaching up to place a hand on his shoulder to give him a not so gentle encouraging push out of the door. "You saw now leave." And with that she closed the door or closed it as much as she could considering the lock had been kicked off its hinges.
"Neighbours," Kris said with nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.
Toby watched Kris push George out and then lifted an eyebrow. "He seemed pleasant. And maybe injured in the head. Is he injured in the head?" he asked, watching the door swing open again in the wind, creaking a little on the broken hinges.
He was already moving towards a small patch of broken glass that had yet to be picked up and nudged it with his foot before he crouched down and started to pick up the pieces. "But yeah, we should get back to cleaning." Even though Kris had said 'I', Toby took from that 'we' because cleaning was never fun at the best of times, let alone when you were picking up the pieces of your life and being forced to do it alone.
Kris gave one last lingering look over her shoulder, hating the way in which her stomach clenched together at the thought of being watched by that man and this neighbourhood. Something had changed, she didn't know what, but something had. She was no longer wanted here. Maybe it was about time she confronted this issue head on, get it out there in the open and make people say what they thought of her to her face.
"You don't have to," Kris said as she watched Toby picking up broken glass. "I'm quite capable of cleaning up. Spent a lot of my life cleaning up after my baby sister, that sort of thing kinda makes you an expert."
Kris had thought about telling Rhiannon, Hayden and maybe even Connor the full extent of the damage, but had chickened out at the last second. There was enough going on without adding her life crisis into the mix, especially when she hoped it could be resolved without too many people getting involved. She still didn't know how she was going to tell Connor that there might be a chance of her having to let him go given the fact class attendance had dropped and it just wasn't feasible keeping him on. Sometimes Kris hated being her own boss, she really did.
Oh for some of that optimism that people seemed to have by the bucket load.
"I want to, though." Toby said with a shrug, "It isn't gonna kill me to hang around and procrastinate doing nothing for a few more hours. After all, once my shop opens I won't have a lot of time for doing nothing." He chuckled and hissed as he cut his finger on a piece of glass, muttering under his breath and sticking his finger in his mouth, palm filled with glass carefully held in front of him as he got to his feet and headed over to the bin.
He chuckled, "Yeah, well, you've met my pets and my sister was never the tidiest person around." his shoulders lifted again, "Besides, call me a freak but I kinda enjoy the whole tidying thing." That and he really didn't want Kris to feel like she was doing this alone. He wondered if she felt that she was alone in this thing, since her friends appeared to be nicely vacant.
Truth was Kris alienated herself, even from the people closest to her. She knew it was an unhealthy way to be, but it seemed as soon as the going got tough Kris Michaels turned into this hard shell of a person. Half the time she wanted to close the distance, embrace the support she knew would be there if she opened herself up to it (and the hurt if for any reason she lost it) but most of the time Kris was thoroughly convinced she had to hold everything together by herself, be the strong one, the capable one. It was exhausting.
She missed being... God, she didn't know.
"Careful," she muttered as she heard Toby hiss in a breath. "I don't want to have to rush you into hospital because you started bleeding to death on account of me." She went right back to picking up the mess left behind, mulling over how she was going to get that black off the wall without a major paint job in her near future.
Toby pouted and dropped the glass in the bin, sucking on his finger and then looking at it. "It's just a small cut, I've had worse. I'm sure you have too. Though, you'd totally owe me if that happened, you know, me nearly dying 'cause I was helping you clean up." He chuckled to himself and went back to picking up the glass, watching it sparkle on the floor and then assume the colour of his hand.
"Gotta get something to cover that smear on the wall," Toby said, "Unless we get some other colours and make some kind of funky design out of it? I'm not an artist, but I can be pretty handy with a paintbrush when it's called for." He did remodel his house, after all.
"There's not much that can go over black," Kris commented as she tilted her head at the scrawl. She was pretty sure the first letter was W and the last was E, it didn't take a genius to work out the rest.
Kris put another load of glass in the bin and caught herself wondering if her gym had always had so many windows or it just seemed that way now that they'd been broken. "I'll figure something out, eventually."
"So I guess we have to work on making it look pretty?" Toby suggested, "Or get some industrial strength paint. Like, the Arnold Schwarzenegger of paint." He stood a little straighter and, in his best (crappy) impersonation of The Terminator, he said, "I'll be back to cover that black mark."
He winked at her and looked around for something else he could do. "Maybe we could paint that whole section black and then get someone to paint patterns on it? Like giving someone a wall in a hallway or something? I don't know... just brainstorming here. Don't want that left on the wall." His hand waved towards what he thought was a slur. But he wasn't sure, whoever it was clearly couldn't write or spell. Maybe they didn't have any kind of brain at all. That was the only type of person that would come after Kris like this. A brainless moron or a sheep. But sheep weren't able to use spray-paint canisters.
"Could always give Rhiannon a mural or something," Kris muttered as she looked up at the mess now on her wall. "Make a positive out of a negative or some bullshit like that." She blew out another breath and rocked on her heels, glancing at the clock or what was left of it.
Kris could only stare at the remains of her gym before she felt it suffocating her. "I need air." And without waiting for a word or action from Toby, Kris walked out of her gym and sucked in a massive lungful of fresh air. She felt... nauseous, off balance and completely... floored.
She doubled over, curling her hands around her knees before dry heaving, repressed emotion threatening to smother her. Kris felt the shivers start in her legs until every inch of her felt racked by them, they even caused her lower lip to tremble until she pressed her mouth together and closed her eyes.
Pull it together, Kris.
Toby watched her go, mouth open but words dying on his lips as the door shut - or attempted to shut - behind her. He fidgeted, standing by himself in the ruined gym for a few long moments before he was heading out after Kris. Against his better judgement because he was pretty sure that he would get punched or something equally sucky for trying to help out.
He was useless in situations like this. But the least he could do for Kris was try, so try he would.
He saw her bent over, shaking and his fingers itched to reassure her somehow. "C'mon, Kris," he said quietly, to announce his presence before his hand rested against her lower back and it rubbed gently in small circles. "Everything's gonna be okay." And God, he hoped that was the case. He didn't understand what bee the neighbourhood had in its bonnet that would mean they were gunning for Kris, she was awesome.
"Better sit down before your legs give in." He could feel the tremors that ran through her from where his hand rested against her back.
Kris closed her eyes and took another steadying breath, trying to will her wavering disposition away. She lifted the back of one hand and rubbed it over her mouth, swallowing back the acrid taste of the bile that had rushed up in anticipation.
She didn't say very much but she took Toby's advice and all but buckled onto the steps leading up to the gym. "Sorry," Kris finally muttered after a few long moments of silence. "I'm not usually this..." She didn't know how to describe what she was feeling right now.
The Slayer settled for curling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them.
Toby sat down on the step above her and his hand moved from her lower back to the back of her neck as she sat down. "It's alright." he reassured, he was a little honoured that Kris hadn't told him to leave already considering how private she was - he knew that much.
"I'd rather you weren't alone." And it was the truth, completely sincere on Toby's part. He would rather be there with Kris and know that at least someone was looking after her. "I mean, I guess I'd not be wrong in assuming you're not gonna tell your boyfriend about this little thing here, so he can't kiss and make it better." He squeezed the back of her neck gently. "So you'll have to make do with me."
Kris gave a small laugh and just shook her head, giving Toby's wrist a slight squeeze. "Guess so." The words might have sounded harsh but her eyes gave her away even if there was still a heaviness to them that hadn't been there before.
"God, I hate nearly throwing up." She gave a weak smile and rubbed at her mouth again, wishing she had gum or something to wash away that taste now stuck in the back of her throat.
Toby squeezed the back of her neck again and relaxed a little when he realised he wasn't going to get beaten up. He resisted that impulse he had to tug her into a hug, though, because that was probably pushing it a little too far right now. Maybe later.
"Yeah, me too," he agreed, "At least it was only nearly and not actually? Would it make you feel better to hear what you should be glad you're not throwing up?" He rubbed at his eye as his contact lenses burned a little. The wind was getting to his eyes. Sensitive things that they were. "You probably oughta spend some time out of there if you've been cleaning it all night."
He had seen the small cuts on her palms. He wasn't that unobservant.
"I kinda feel better when I actually chuck," Kris shared with a wry smile. "At least then it's out and it's happened instead of threatening to happen. That's the worst." And wasn't that the truth? She'd rather get punched in the face than live in fear of it.
She curled her hands around her biceps, suddenly aware of just how filthy she was. It had been a very long night. "I need to call a locksmith for the door so I can leave."
"I guess feeling nauseous isn't much fun," Toby agreed after a moment, "Though some things I'd rather live in fear of having rather than actually get, you know? Like being in a car accident, or being beaten to the brink of death by a bunch of mouthy teenagers." He gave a wry smile and his hand slipped to rub at Kris' back.
He looked down the street and then shifted, his other hand seeking out his iPhone. "Here," he held it out. "Use this. Call a locksmith, get someone to fix your door and then we're going for food. Or, at least you are. I'm just kinda inviting myself along. If you don't want my company, you could go see Rhiannon, or one of your other friends? Wouldn't head home. Might end up getting all broody and that would suck."
Kris took the phone and eyed it for a moment before simply giving in, pressing the touchscreen numbers out of memory alone. "Food," she muttered with a nod. "Food is good. I could do with some food." She hadn't eaten since yesterday after all.
It was only when somebody picked up on the other end of the phone-line that Kris turned her full attention to the phone, explaining to the guy about her door and mentioning the windows as well because this guy did work on those too. She'd been going to him for years. Eventually she hung up and passed the phone back. "Thanks, he says he'll be here soon."
Toby assumed, since Kris didn't say 'I'd like to eat alone' that it was okay for him to keep her company. Possibly he'd even be able to convince her to let him buy. "No worries," he put the phone back in his pocket - complete with awkward wiggling to get the damn thing into his pants pocket - and settled again on the step.
"We can wait and then go get food. You trust this guy to shut everything off all securely for you, right? Or do you wanna watch him working?"
"I can trust him." Kris rubbed at her hair and pulled a face when the edge of a cut caught on a strand. "I've known him years. He used to go to school with my mom so I guess you could say he's an old family friend."
She caught sight of somebody across the street gawking and just lifted an eyebrow asking without words 'you looking at something?'.
Toby turned his head to look at the gawking person and rolled his eyes, obviously disdainful of their look. "Let's get back inside and wait for your friend," he muttered, touching Kris' back again once he'd gotten to his feet.
He moved inside himself, hunching up his shoulders at the scrawl on the wall. People were so stupid and they really really sucked. Even the good ones. Sometimes they were the worst, people who believed they were actually helping by doing horrible things. Deluded, the lot of them. "I know a real nice little place we can go get food that's a couple of blocks from here if you don't mind the walk?"
Kris waited until the tremble in her legs had passed before she even attempted getting to her feet. "Yeah," she agreed with a nod of her head. "He shouldn't be long. Totally anal about being on time, that sort of thing."
She turned on the heel of her boots and headed back inside, feeling the weight of everything on her shoulders and around her neck. "Nah, I don't mind a walk. I could probably benefit from one."
Toby turned, holding the door open for her before letting it shut again. "Well, means we don't have to wait too long before we get food. I don't know about you, but my stomach's trying to digest itself." He offered her a wry smile. "And walking is good, you might have to catch me when I pass out from hunger-related dizziness." He winked, the pastries he had bought with him forgotten in lieu of what had happened.
He leaned against the wall near him and tipped his head back against it. "What did the cops say about the whole thing?"
"Given the fact the neighbourhood's been having problems with troublemakers they're thinking they had something to do with it." Not that Kris bought that. "Broke in thinking they could make something out of it, that sort of thing."
She straightened up a nearby chair. "Took prints, photographs and they'll contact me if they find anything out."
"You think they will actually let you know?" Toby asked, "Never experienced the Chicago cops, but the delights of the PD near where I came from... well, I woulda had more luck doing the investigation myself, let's just say that much." It was another rare glimpse into Toby's past; the police department had been disgustingly useless.
He blew out a breath. "You did a good job of tidying up, by the way."
Kris glanced up at that shared snippet of Toby's past and on her way past him she squeezed his arm. "I'm not holding my breath." She leaned against the desk again and glanced over her shoulder, trying to keep her eyes off the black mess that was her wall. "People get broken into all the time, nothing ever comes of it."
She reached up and rubbed at the back of her neck. "Thanks, couldn't really leave it as it was."
Toby gave a small smile at the initiated contact from Kris. "Well, this is different. It's you. We should form a super sleuth group. Hey, we could be like those guys from Scooby Doo. We'd just need to get a mystery machine. I'm totally calling Shaggy. He was always really useful even if he was a bit of an idiot."
He glanced around again and looked up at the clock. It still ticked pathetically, but it needed replacing, and the second hand had been ticking over the same three seconds since he had arrived. "No, guess not."
Kris picked up her jacket from where she'd stripped it off earlier, sliding it on over her shoulders. "Maybe," she conceded with a small smile. "My sister's got a soft spot for the other guy, thinks he's cute." Kris fastened up the jacket and then went back to folding her arms across her chest.
Time felt like it was taking forever to go anywhere, but time was passing, Kris knew this.
Toby chuckled and wandered over to grab his own jacket. He pulled his sleeves down before he slid it on. "What, Fred? But the guy was like wrapping paper, loud and just there to look pretty." He smirked, "Shaggy was definitely where it's at."
Kris just gave a slanted smile and a nod of her head, wanting to join in with the banter but lacking the right sort of energy for it. "You'd need longer hair to pull off the Shaggy look." She leaned back against the nearby wall, tipping her head slightly to regard a hole driven through the bottom of it.
She wasn't sure how much time had passed but eventually she was pulled from her reverie by the call of her name from what had been a previously secured door. Kris blinked and turned her head, lifting a hand in greeting to Steve. "Hey."
Steve wandered over and took one look around himself before giving a 'wtf?' expression.
"Don't ask," Kris said with a rueful smile before they shared a conversation about the door in particular and the windows to see if he thought he could do anything for them, Kris promising payment once her insurance cleared.
It didn't take long and Kris turned to Toby. "Steve's gonna do what he does best and right now I could do with that walk."
Toby greeted the guy when he came in with a nod of his head, hands in his pockets as he too had used the silence to think (or brood, as the case may be) on events in his own life. It tended to happen when he didn't have a suitable distraction. It was one of the reasons he hated silence so much.
"Walking," he agreed, pushing off where he had been leaning against the wall. He did up his jacket. "Let's do that. Better get you outta here."
Kris slid her hands into the pockets of her jacket before pulling the material tight around her frame as she fell into step beside Toby, trying not to fixate on what had happened to her gym. "Let's go get food." She slipped out of the door and took the stairs two at a time, determined not to look back, no matter how tempting it was.
Look forward, never back. Not that it was ever that easy.