"When.." he lifted his eyebrows and moved to reach for one of his glasses of bourbon, bringing it up to take a big drink of it before setting it back to the table a bit roughly, "My dad.." he twisted the glass around in circles, keeping his focus on it, "My dad used to beat the shit out of me." He canted his head to the side, "over and over. Night after night.. that's.. what I keep dreaming about." His brows furrowed again, "So she said she could give me better dreams."
He groaned, bringing his hand back up to drag over his face, "'m so fuckin' stupid." Dropping his hand away from his face, he gestured toward Ana, "yeah. Diff'rent dreams. Fuckin'-- fucking. Sex dreams! I didn't know it'd be that! It was me, Janis? Janis... Fucking.. Fucking Janis, fucking Catherine, fucking me. All," he dratically laced his fingers together in the air, over the table, "sex. Just sex. Fucking mental as fuck sex. How'd Cat know, 'n'I di'n't know? I di'n't know. 'm'fuckin' stupid as fuck. Stupid, stupid Callum," he propped his elbows on the table and took a deep breath as he leaned forward to press the heels of his hands against his eyes.
"'M still tired," he hruffed, "tired.. and.. and Catherine said there'd be consequences.. and.. and she was fuckin' right. she hates me. Sh'doesn't wanna see me.. I hurt her.. I hurt her, An.. I hurt her. I never want'd hurt her.. I fuckin' love her.."