Who: Nate and Lucien When: Week 10, Wednesday, evening. Where: DiWit Manor Why: Lucien it ready to tell Nate about his past, but he is afraid Nate won't love him anymore. Warnings: MAJOR angst, language, sex, more to be added.
Lucien was sitting in the small window seal. He had told Nate he needed a bit to gather himself before they talked. He needed to get facts straight in his mind and to steal himself for the look he knew Nate would give him. How could someone like Nate wanted him after he told him the number of sexual partners he had had was somewhere in the triple digits? Even Lucien didn't remember all them. There was hazy, faces and questionable situations.
Then there was the fact about his tutors. That would be enough to turn Nate off. There was this small, little piece of Lucien that knew Nate would not leave him, but that was being overridden by his self doubt and fears. He had already tried to pick at Emerson's liquor cabinet of doom only to go no where. He need courage, and the only kind he knew of came from a bottle.
He rubbed his hands on his jeans. God what would Nate do? Would he leave the room? Would he try to run back to the camps? Or would hug him and make everything okay? He leaned his head said the cold window pane. He really wish he was not doing this, but it had to be done. He wanted Nate to understand him and all his weirdness. He wanted to know why Nate did things that seemed to only cause Lucien pleasure and didn't demand things of him. He need Nate to understand his fears and the fight he had in his head at all times. He wanted Nate to know why he turned to alcohol in the first place, why it was pushed on him and why it became his best friend.
It was seven thirty when he heard his door open. Lucien nearly flinched. He tried to calm himself down. There was no need to panic just yet, but his heart was racing. He could just blurt it all out and get it over with, but he found his voice not wanting to work. After moment he motioned to the bed. "Please sit down." His voice sounded stronger than he felt.