Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes before she spoke. "I'm helpless, clever, sweet, adorable young woman, and because of that bad men, women, and the wolfman might try to take advantage of me without my knight in a finely-pressed suit to help me. So I shouldn't go out alone." She couldn't help the impish grin that tugged at the corners of her lips as she spoke.
"If the door to your creepy, vampire dungeon is closed, I shouldn't be worried about what goes on down there because you're probably involved in some very intense poetry sessions with Dracula or something. Addendum: staking you in your sleep would be mean and is not encouraged. Next we have my favorite rule in the world, act like a submissive slave girl in public. No speaking unless you tell me, kneel beside you like I'm hoping you'll knight me, refrain from anything that could be construed as fun or happy." The girl took a deep breath. "And last but not least, if somebody talks to me, I have to look up at you with a blank stare and flutter my eyelashes until you either answer it for me or tell me I'm allowed to speak words."