Jenn shook her head, not knowing how to explain it to Emrys but she had to try.
"I thought it would make you feel better... I'd have felt so guilty. I'd have begged Master to punish me. Why didn't you? Didn't you feel guilty?" Jenn hugged herself, despair clear in her voice from her confusion. She simply didn't understand what had happened, why her Master had been so angry, why Emry's hadn't felt guilty.
Things had been so simple in her last two homes. Her first Master would punish her for the slightest infraction, so she always knew where she stood with him and if she was pleasing him. Her second Master had been hard to adjust to at first but she soon found her new role as a fucktoy. She had loved that, being publicly used and abused hadn't been enjoyable for her but that hadn't been important. It was her users pleasure that mattered and so being used had made her happy.
Here, she didn't know what her Master wanted from her. She still didn't. He wanted to know her, for her to enjoy things on her own but he knew how worthless she was. That she was just a piece of fuckmeat. It just didn't make sense and in her confusion she had hurt Emrys by trying to make sense of it all.
"I'm so so sorry... I just wanted to help you... I wanted to feel safe here..." Jenn whispered, still shaking as she spoke as she tried to work out what she was doing wrong.
"I just wanted things to be simple again. I've given him everything haven't I? I'd do anything to make him happy. I'd gladly die for him. He wants more... what does that even mean?!"