Jennifer 'Jenn' Gracia (valkyrex) wrote in childofeden_rp, @ 2013-11-02 21:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: jennifer garcia (dropped), location: fortunatov estate, thread: complete, |week: 03, ~date: 07/july 22 |
Week 3, Wednesday, Evening
WHO: Jennifer Garcia
WHERE: Mir's Home
WHEN: Week 3, Monday Early Evening
WHY: Jenn is home alone
WARNINGS: Mentions of slavery
Having long since finished her chores before her Master and Emry’s left for Lord Carrick’s on business, Jenn had nothing to do left alone in the house. At first she had taken a shower but even with washing, drying and styling her hair and doing her make-up it hadn’t killed much time. She had considered simply kneeling and waiting for them to return but following their recent chat she had gotten the distinct impression that that was not what her Master wanted her to do with her time.
She didn’t understand why her Master hadn’t taken her with her, she was far more suited to the role than Emry. She was always graceful and aesthetically pleasing and the client was male after all. Maybe it was because she was a girl and this was more of a business meeting than a sales and marketing deal. There was still no reason as far as she could see for his preference to take Emry instead of her. Had she done something wrong? All Emry did was screw things up and he had never once been punished; it wasn’t good for the boy. How was he meant to learn without being punished?
Jenn was beginning to wonder if her Master was actually capable of punishing them, she had been used often and so hadn’t given it much thought but now she was starting to worry. She knew what happened when she didn’t feel secure, sure of punishment, she acted irresponsibly and irrationally. It was so hard to be in control of herself when no one was in control of her. She knew that it was dangerous for her not to be punished when she messed up and couldn’t help but wonder if Emry felt the same way. He must do surely? All slaves she had ever served with had held the same views and she’d seen slaves do themselves horrible injuries just to relieve some of the guilt they felt. She couldn’t let that happen to Emry but she didn’t know how to help him, she didn’t feel close to him because of her irrational resentment towards him.
Had she known Emry better she might have tried to persuade him to ask for his overdue punishments but she barely spoke to him. She was jealous of him and his closer relationship to their Master. Had she not been good enough for him? She didn’t understand what he wanted from her and that also scared her, especially when he wanted to know the real Jenn when she herself had no idea what this real Jenn was like. It had never seemed important to know herself, pleasing the Supernaturals had been all she ever cared about. She knew what she was – a slave, a possession and an object, something to be used and abused, but now her Master wanted her to be a person? In her own mind, Jenn did not consider herself to be a person. That involved having rights and free-will, all of which terrified Jenn. She simply didn’t want any of that, she just wanted to serve and make others happy.
That was the problem though; she didn’t know how to make Mir happy. He wanted more from her and that didn’t sit comfortably with Jenn, if he started to see her as a person how could he treat her like a slave? How could he punish her when she had been bad? Jenn had to sit down, she was shaking a little and could feel her heart racing as anxiety built inside her and twisted into a knot. She wanted to be punished by him despite having not done anything wrong but she knew he wouldn’t do that. Which left her with the option of upsetting him which went against every fibre of her being, if she couldn’t make him happy what was the point of her?
It was in this anxiety and depressive fueled state that she came up with a solution, she had not done anything to provoke punishment from her Master but Emry had. She could help Emry get rid of the guilt that was surely eating away at him and assure herself that her Master could punish her so that she could feel safe again. The only issue was how exactly she was going to achieve this. If Mir was going to punish Emry, he would have done it by now so that meant that Jenn would have to give their Master a little extra incentive.
Jenn shakily got to her feet and headed downstairs, refusing to cry as that would ruin her make-up and she wasn’t sure she could make it back upstairs to fix it in this state. She made it to the music room and held onto the piano in order to stay upright as she looked around for something she could slightly sabotage for Emry’s benefit and for hers. Something that would be easy to fix but would provoke the punishment they both needed.
Her eyes fell on the violin case, she knew little about instruments but she knew that her Master enjoyed playing this one. She also knew that he had spare strings in the unlikely event that one broke like it had the other day. In that moment she knew what to do, she knew where the broken violin string was and so all she needed to do was switch the new string with the broken one and put the new one back with the other spares. It would look like Emry had broken the string but wouldn’t actually cost Mir any money.
Jenn set to work; she took the violin out of its case, being very careful with it as she loosened the right string until it came free easily. She then fetched the broken one and placed it where it was meant to go and tightened it past where it would usually go. Satisfied, Jenn replaced the violin in its case and put the string back with the spares. Now all she had to do was wait for Mir to discover it to get her answer of whether or not he could punish them. She couldn’t teach herself to read nor paint and hadn’t any idea how to dance correctly so she went to kneel at the door for her Master’s return. They shouldn’t be too much longer now anyway, she thought.