"Because I'm a blade with no opponent," Hermes said, letting Carrick take control again. "Because you let me out amongst the higher classes of my better, let me pull so much from them in just an hour or two that I could bring most of them crumbling to ruin no matter that you wanted only one of their number."
He licked his lips and looked down and away, somewhere at Carrick's bicep. "Because I stole something I shouldn't have from the heart of an angel, and getting to close to the sun burned me in turn." That alone should have told Carrick exactly what last scrap of detail he'd heard and put pieces together no matter that he didn't understand the language before the angel's grace bucked even harder at him. "Because his mind was an open book before he was restored and all I could see was bitterness and carefully laid plans to arrange your end unless I managed to guide you both to something different to keep him from going down that path. Because even now I can't know if it worked at all. Because I'm fucking scared and you were sitting there talking like you were trying to hold me to a life that was just surviving, that I don't mourn while I sit here and wonder when the wrath of Heaven itself might rain down on you." He'd gone quieter for that, his own rage burned out quickly as he kept his gaze averted. "Because I love you, because I trust you and giving both those things to someone else terrifies me beyond words. Because I'm a sword, not a shield and have no means to defend the soft parts of my heart and my body from wounds even your blood cannot heal."
He looked up at Carrick. "Because you and I. Because of a life and an eternity I want desperately, but will never have." Because one day, Russell was going to have enough of all this, and end Hermes himself. "Because some part of us will always be another secret on top of so many others. Because dying's only scary if you have something worth living for." He touched Carrick's face, unafraid of the monster claiming him just as he'd been fine with the true werewolf Russell presented himself as. "Because one of us is already hunted by our pasts, and you shouldn't be as well."