He wiped more tears away. "I want to just enjoy. Use to if we had sex I could stop thinking but now can't. I just keep thinking and keep thinking. I want to be normal and not have this...God what I would give to have the problem of thinking you would just leave. So simple." He wiped a few more tears from his face. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Nate. I didn't mean it. It am just angry at myself."