Lucien looked at him, wided eyed. Take change Nate was always a turn on, and he always safe safe with him. Nate knew what to say when Lucien needed him. He stared at him for a moment longer before the tears came.
"Then why can't I move past it? Why does it still affect me? I want to move past and get back to the way we use to be. I want to make love with out hearing his voice and I what to give into pleasure. But it so hard." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "It is easier to be numb, to care about you and not me. If I don't get pleasure from it, then maybe I am not a whore."