rey (firststeps) wrote in chicagolandic, @ 2017-06-03 23:38:00 |
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If anyone approached the Millennium Falcon from the outside, they'd hear a flurry of commotion coming from inside the hull, even though the dock was raised and the entry was shut. For inside the ship, Rey was moving back and forth from space to space, her movements not at all delicate or hushed. She was hurrying, as though she had no time at all to finish the task in front of her, even though it seemed as though she didn't quite know what she was doing. And following her every move was Pilot, her lone constant companion of late, barking on occasion to try to grasp her attention, as if he was worried about what she was going on. BB-8 was also trying to follow Rey's movements but once he realized that she was simply going from point to point, with no clear direction, it seemed that he'd positioned himself near the entrance just to try and wait to see what she ultimately ended up doing.
By this point, she'd turned off the phone. She was snatching up belongings from every point in the ship. She hadn't lived in her apartment since Han's departure. This had been the only place that she felt at home anymore. And it looked lived in now. Rey had made her mark inside of it via modifications and possessions. And now she was snatching everything she could, stuffing them into a duffel bag, as tears rolled down her face. Her form was shaking and she found herself gasping for air at one point, stopping just enough to try and stop the sobs.
It felt like she'd been pierced with a knife through her heart. While it was true that she'd always wanted Han to be her Father, and likewise for Leia to be her Mother, there was the part of her that also feared this possibility. She loved them both more than she really knew how to put into words and the thought of them being the pair that had abandoned her made her soul ache. And here was Ben, revealing that her deepest fear was a reality. She'd been their's.
And they'd left her.
If she wasn't so overwhelmed with emotion, perhaps, she'd have thought to find out why. Perhaps she'd have thought to question why it was he called her a sister, as clearly this meant she was involved in his life. Why would her elder self forgive them? But she was overwhelmed and rationale was not possible. Han wanted to Falcon. Fine. He could have it. But she wasn't going to do this any more. She wasn't going to keep having her heart broke by Chicago.
She was leaving and that was that.
Turning, she rubbed her eyes with the back of her arm and moved back for the main cockpit, knowing her lightsaber was housed there. She needed that.