Hello there. My name is Scott Lawrence, but only because my actual last name is, indeed, a mouthful. My Crackber Blackberry is almost like another appendage. I completed my undergraduate bullshitstuff courses at NYU and went on to Columbia Law School. Why, yes, I am a lawyer. Unlike Ian (who is actually a very nice person), you may feel free to jump down my throat with whatever insults you might want to throw. Chances are, they will be nothing short of true.
Other than that, I enjoy fine wine, reading, and on occasion, socializing and I can swear to you that I was married to Jezebel herself for about five years. I'm not sure about you, but being stabbed in the back and being essentially raped from behind tends to make me a very, very unhappy person.
But that's enough about me. I'm bored of my mundane life, I would hate to influence others to hate my life as much as I do. Oh look, I made a joke. What's something that really pisses gets you going?