Sirius Black (sirius_or) wrote in chat_or, @ 2008-02-05 22:52:00 |
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"Good point. I know a lot of Hogwarts kids who wouldn't mind a good homemade pie every once in a while...too bad she doesn't want to do it."
Nigel Potter opened the door to his son's room at that very moment and cleared his throat. "Your mother has dinner ready. Come down." He said, glancing at the mess on the floor. "I won't tell your mother." He added, closing the door. James smirked.
"My father doesn't tell Mum about my room, and in exchange I don't tell Mum about his closet." He said with a grin.
"Good deal." Sirius said and stretched his arms back onto the floor and gave his legs a push off the bed, flipping over to land somewhat on his feet. A trick he'd picked up years ago - thanks to the too high beds in the Black Family home. "I just leave mine a mess. Mother can scream all she wants."
James stared at him for a full minute before laughing. "Joining the circus, Padfoot?" He asked, getting off his bed the normal way and walking out of his room. "You make it extra messy just to annoy her, don't you?"
"Product of my boring childhood." Sirius said with a grin and a shrug. "Of course I do. Also stuck all my posters and photos to the wall...with that charm I told you about. She'll never be able to get them off." He followed James out.
He smirked, walking down the spiral staircase past pictures of his family, older generations, his father playing Quidditch...and his mother winning pie contests. "Jimwell!" Shrieked a portrait of a black-haired witch. James nearly jumped a foot.
"Sirius, meet my great-aunt Lenore." He said, gritting his teeth. "My name is James, not Jimwell." He added, before finally reaching the bottom of the staircase.
"That's almost as bad as our portraits." Sirius shuddered slightly at the thought of all the ridiculous Black relatives portraits lining the walls of his home.
"Jimwell, brush your hair!" Lenore cried as James walked towards the kitchen--a surprisingly normal room. It was warm, and despite the three ovens and the assorted pans lying about, it was very humble...except for the giant, five foot calendar hanging on one wall. Birthdays were written on most dates, with the corresponding flavors.
"I told you she was a loon." James whispered, pointing to the calendar.
"Have you forgotten my mother?" Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked right at his best friend. "Your mum looks extremely sane next to her."
"That's true." He agreed with a nod, as the woman in question entered. "All right, I've got plenty of food, so neither of you will go hungry." She gestured to the dining room, which was also fairly normal, with a long black table inside. Food was set neatly on top, and Nigel was already serving himself. James obeyed his mother, and sat across from his father.
Sirius took a seat next to James and smiled at the array of food on the table in front of them. It looked and smelled great. "Thanks Mrs. Potter." He started putting helpings on his plate.
"Of course, dear!" She said with a huge smile, sitting next to her husband and taking a huge serving of potatoes. "That's what food is for--eating!" She giggled, and James paled.
Sirius just put food in his mouth to keep from any sort of...anything. He loved James' mum though, she was an endless source of amusement. In a very good way.
"So Sirius, you must tell me about this Lily!" Gloria said pleasantly, with a huge smile. James nearly choked. "Jamesy won't tell me much about her...what does she look like? Is she a nice girl?"
Sirius glanced sideways at James. This could go two ways....he could be a good best mate and tell the truth or...."Well, she's a red head. With the personality to match."
James's mother wasn't very satisfied with that answer. "So she has a temper?" She asked, spearing a potato with her fork. James sank into his chair. "But is she smart? Suitable for my son?" She was almost...negotiating.
"Oh, I don't know if I'd call it a temper, exactly." Sirius said before biting into a piece of beef. "Though James certainly likes her."
Gloria laughed lightly. "Of course he does, dear. Most couples like each other." James almost fell face-first into his plate of food. "Sirius, do you have a girlfriend? Valentine's Day is coming up."
Sirius shook his head before swallowing his food. "No, not at the moment I don't." Wow, he'd almost forgotten about Valentine's Day...
"Well, ask someone! I heard that there are some new girls. Are any of them up to your standards, Sirius, dear?" She asked, cutting a piece of meat.
James coughed. "They're a bit...young."
Gloria chuckled. "Oh, love knows no age, sweetheart."
She should only know....was the look Sirius exchanged with James for a brief moment. "I don't know, they're all a little...strange, to put it nicely."
"Very strange." James said, scratching his head. "They're from a village that had a plague, Mum." He added, although he thought it was a pretty pathetic excuse. Still, telling his mother the truth would be weird.
Gloria frowned. "Maybe I should send them pies?"
"I bet they would appreciate that." And if they didn't, that meant more pie for him and his friends.
She smirked. "What flavors do you think they'd like? I wonder how many of them there are...are they in your year? Are you sure you don't find any of them cute?" Gloria asked Sirius...seriously.
"Well, some of them are cute, yeah." Sirius admitted, partially to make Mrs. Potter happy. "And I'm sure they'd like any flavor pie. I would recommend the strawberry ones."
Mrs. Potter nodded. "Strawberry...that is an intelligent choice." She agreed.
There was an awkward silence as James considered asking his parents something. He looked to Sirius, as if his best friend could possibly know what he was thinking.
Sirius looked up from his spoonful of potatoes when he felt James looking at him. He raised an eyebrow slowly at him. Sometimes he could tell what his friend was thinking, and then other times...
James shook his head. Sirius obviously hadn't understood. He turned to his parents. "Mum, can I ask you something...seriously?"
Gloria frowned. A serious question from James was never a normal question. A few years ago, he'd asked what would happen if his best friend was a werewolf. Another time he had asked if mermaids could tap dance. Once he had asked if a dragon-gnome hybrid could breathe fire.
James was full of weird, random questions.
"Yes?" She asked, narrowing her eyes and giving Sirius a glance.
"What do parents do?" James asked casually.
Nigel spit his food out. Gloria blinked.
Sirius looked from each Potter in turn and slowly finished chewing his food. This was going to be....interesting, to say the least.
"Well, they...guide their children." Nigel said awkwardly.
"And bake them pies!" Gloria added with a smile, before an awful look overcame her features. "Jamesy...did you..."
She put her hand on her head, as if feverish. "Is Lucy pregnant?"
James fell off his chair, and looked up at Sirius, pleading for help.
Gloria turned to Sirius, stunned. "It's true, isn't it, Sirius? My baby's going to be a daddy!" She began to tear up. "I always wanted grandkids, but not this early--you're still in school!"
"Oh Merlin, no. James and Lily..." Sirius started to laugh uncontrollably. "They haven't even....there's no...she's not...Oh gods, that's hilarious." He looked down at James, the silliest grin on his face.
James wasn't sure if he should be thankful or insulted. So he just glared at Sirius and let his best mate answer his parents' questions.
"He isn't? But I thought their relationship was serious!" Gloria said, as Nigel regained some of his complexion.
Sirius shook his head before his laughter died down enough for him to talk. "James wishes it was. Evans, er, Lily...well, half the time she won't give him the light of day." Sirius flashed James a quick apologetic look - but the truth was out.
The hopes and dreams of grandchildren that Gloria Potter possessed were crushed in one swift paragraph.
"Her name is Lily?" She repeated, in shock.
"Sorry, James." Nigel said, biting into a potato. "Looks like you've been outed."
"I guess James didn't...well, didn't want to get your hopes down or something." Sirius shrugged a shoulder. "But he's made some progress...some."
"Some? We've been talking lately!" James said. "That's really an improvement." His mother was still gaping. "I mean, she wouldn't talk to me just a few weeks ago..."
"It's true. At least now she'll talk to you without insulting you...too much." Sirius gave Mrs. Potter an apologetic look. She was still staring.
"STRAWBERRIES!" Gloria cried, standing up. "I think I'll go fetch some strawberries." She repeated, and walked out of the dining room, and through the front door. James watched her go and sighed.
"Wow, she really thought you two were that serious?" Sirius turned to James. "Honestly?"
"I just mentioned her once!" James said, throwing his hands into the air. "I told you, Mum's nuts."
His father nodded from across the table. "Gloria tends to exaggerate."
"I can tell...sorry, to ruin it for her like that." Sirius said. "But it's about time you admit the truth, eh?"
"She'll just try to set them up now." Nigel said, shaking his head. "Expect letters from her more often, James." He glanced at Sirius. "If you ever get a girlfriend, don't tell my wife." He advised.
"I'll keep that in mind." Sirius laughed lightly. "Note to self..."
James smirked. "Sirius hasn't had a girlfriend in ages, Dad. He's lost the touch." Nigel raised an eyebrow, wondering if they were thinking about the same Sirius.
"I haven't 'lost my touch'." Sirius said, slightly offended. "And it hasn't been ages either. Talk about exaggerating..."
Nigel chuckled. "Sometimes a man needs a break from women. Right, Sirius?" He had always liked this one--although his wife preferred Remus, he believed.
"Exactly!" Sirius was relieved to find someone agreed with him. "See? Even your dad agrees with me, mate."
James smiled slightly. "Your dad's favorite of my friends. He has to defend your honor." He said, glancing at his father. Nigel just smirked at him.
"At least someone's on my side. Thanks Mr. Potter." Sirius gave the older man a grin. "Honorary defender of my...Honor."
Nigel smiled. "I'll add it to the list of awards." He said. "What time are you two due at school, anyway?"
"Er, curfew's at what, eleven?" Sirius looked at James. He had idea really - it wasn't exactly something they paid much attention to.
"Right." James said. He didn't know the answer either. "But we could go back--we need to work on Dumbledore's present."
"Oh yeah...yeah, we do." Sirius had almost forgotten about their half-finished gift. "Wouldn't want to miss out on giving it to him."
"Exploding cake?" Nigel asked, raising one eyebrow. "That's what your mother did to our headmaster." He added, glancing at James.
Sirius glanced at James, then back at Mr. Potter. "No way..."
"Where do you think he got it from?" Nigel chuckled. "Gloria was quite a prankster...know the toilets that are different colors in the boys' bathroom on the second floor?"
"You're kidding...Mrs. Potter? Did that too?" Sirius just stared at him, disbelieving. "I don't believe it..."
James smirked. "She used to throw pies in people's faces."
"Have I ever mentioned just how brilliant your mum is?" Sirius turned to James with a laugh.
"In fact, that's how my parents met!" James said, glancing at his father. Nigel cleared his throat. "You really want to hear?"
"Yeah, sure. I'd love to." Sirius smiled, settling in for the story. This should be good!
Nigel smirked, giving James a glance. Of course, his son had heard the story only a thousand times...
"Well, it began first year." He started. "Gloria was a bit of a troublemaker, as previously mentioned. We met on the bus...when she blew up the compartment I was in."
James smirked at Sirius. "There are still burns on that one. Remember, second year we rode in it?"
"She intended to use a stink bomb, but she accidentally used one of her exploding mini-bombs." The older Potter chuckled. "I did not approve--I preferred to follow the rules." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps you two would prefer for me to show you the Pensieve? I'm not the best at telling stories."
"Nah, go on. You're not that bad." Sirius encouraged Mr. Potter.
He smiled at the boy. Indeed, this was his favorite friend of James's.
"Well, Gloria came in, and we--that is, the few friends I had and I--expected an apology from her. Instead, she stuck her tongue out at us and called us 'bloody gits who love kissing their mums'. And she added that our hair looked funny."
"After being blown up, even my hair would...no, it wouldn't." James muttered to himself, smiling.
"Not a chance, mate." Sirius said to James with a laugh. "So then what happened, after she insulted you and your hair?"
"Well, we asked her name, and she ignored us. When we arrived at the castle, my friends were sorted into other Houses, but Gloria was put into Gryffindor with me. When we found out, she said..."
Nigel bit his lip. "She called me Nigey Wigey, from that moment on. She still does." He sighed. "And the next night, she slipped potion into the first year Slytherin drinks. Well, the next day, they couldn't talk--they chirped. Or howled...barked...they made animal sounds."
James raised his eyebrows and made a mental note.
"And the headmaster--this was long before Dumbledore--was not pleased." Nigel chuckled. "She was given detention for a month."
"A whole month?! Merlin, your headmaster must have been really tough..." Sirius said, wide-eyed. They'd had rough detentions, but a month for her first prank?
"Apparently, the headmaster hated Gloria's father, and was extra tough on her because of it. I think that's ridiculous, of course, but corruption is everywhere. Luckily, he wasn't back second year. Not sure what happened to him, in fact..."
"The other Gryffindors were at first annoyed by her, but soon she became popular--she's pretty, bright, and talkative. Despite her mischief...she was accepted." He raised an eyebrow at James, knowing that his son took after his mother. "But the professors still thought she needed a babysitter." Nigel smiled slightly. "Guess whom they chose?"
"Not you...." Sirius played along with it.
James rolled his eyes.
"Oh, give an old man a break." Nigel said with a smirk. "The professors back then--this was over a hundred years ago--were too busy to watch over the first year Gryffindor girl who liked to blow things up. So I, the classic good student, had to baby-sit."
He chuckled. "I believe I finally fell for her during third year. When I realized it, I started asking her out--daily. She rejected me...probably a thousand times." He gave his son a knowing grin.
James looked away. "Doesn't sound familiar at all, Dad."
"Oh yeah, not at all." Sirius said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "So James might have some sort of hope then?"
"My father was rejected two thousand times before my mother dated him, so I think James actually has an advantage." Nigel said, brushing a hand through his hair. James wasn't sure if he should smile or glare--but it didn't matter. He was going to win anyway---Harry was evidence enou--he paled suddenly. He had been distracted by his father's story and forgotten about the pressing matter at hand...
"So what, is this a Potter trait or something?" Sirius asked with a laugh.
"Yes, it is, actually. Dad always said it was a family curse, but it's just a string of bad luck." Nigel said with a smile. "Or good luck, as I prefer to see it. Let's just call it a family tradition. James's son will probably have the same problem. Don't the Blacks have something like that?" He asked.
Sirius just shook his head. "Most of the time we're not even given a chance to decide who we want to marry." A small scowl appeared on his face, for just a second. "Unfortunately for them, I'll be breaking that 'tradition'."
James frowned slightly, remembering his friend's plight. The Potters were unusual for a pureblood family--his parents were from a different generation, for one, but also they weren't as traditional and focused on preserving the blood line. "Who did they choose for you, anyway?" James asked quietly, knowing it was a sensitive topic. Still, that Potter curiosity...
Sirius just shook his head with a shrug. "No idea at the moment. I've avoided the matter at all costs. Got into a row with my mother about it over holiday actually. She'll deal."
James's imagination began to swirl, and he forgot about his father. "What if she's beautiful, mate? And some of the pureblood girls are okay--remember, she wouldn't be a Black. She could be nice. I mean, Lily's a--" He paused. That wasn't true, actually. But there were nice purebloods, right? "I think
"On the contrary. She very well -could- be a Black." Sirius made a slightly disgusted face. "You should just see the family tree...Thank you for being a normal wizarding family." He said to Mr. Potter.
James also looked grossed out at the thought. "Like...a cousin of yours? That's awful. Although isn't one of them nice? You wouldn't want to marry her, though. Obviously."
"Yes, like a cousin. It happens far too often, really." Sirius looked at him for a moment before he realized who he was talking about. "You mean Andromeda? One she's already married and two...first cousins usually don't get put together. That's too far even for the Blacks."
Visibly relieved, James nodded. "Right...Andromeda. Doesn't she have a daughter or something?"
"Yeah, she does. She's really little, haven't seen her in a while. But I'll probably go visit them this summer." He brightened up at the thought of that. Of course, he'd have to make up some excuse to where he was going...his mother would have a hippogriff if she knew he was going to visit Andy.
Really little...she could be Harry's professor, for all James knew.
He'd have to ask him later. "What's her name again? Something painful and Blackish?"
"Nymphadora. Very un-Black, actually. But they call her Dora." Sirius explained.
James laughed. "Nymphadora is still not an easy name, but it's better than your other family members. Isn't one of them named Narcissa?" That was too funny.
"Yep, Andromeda's sister. Her name fits her far too well." Sirius grinned. "We're all named after something astronomy related..."
"Sorry, I don't listen to Sinistra." James said, raising an eyebrow. "There's a star named Narcissa? Poor star."
"Actually, no. Her name doesn't really fit the general rule as much as the rest of us." Sirius had never really thought about it too much, anyway.
"They just noticed her love for herself and thought it would be a suitable name?" He grinned.
"Narcissistic babies...only a Black could manage that." Sirius rolled his eyes.
"But you don't hate your father, do you?" Nigel finally spoke, startling James--he'd forgotten about his dad...
"Well...no." It was his mother, after all, that he really couldn't stand. "We just, my father and I, we disagree on a lot of things."
Nigel gave him a single nod. "Well, you know that you're always welcome here." He said, taking his plate and walking into the kitchen, leaving James and Sirius alone.
"Thanks Mr. Potter." Sirius said with a smile as the man left them. He turned back to James. "I didn't know your mum was such a prankster..."
James cleared his throat. "Where do you think I got it from?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Every April Fool's Day, she does something evil..." He smirked. "Which reminds me, we should start on our evil plans..."
"First, 'Albie' needs to get his birthday gift..." Sirius returned the 'Evil Plotting Smirk' the two always seemed to share.
"You want to go send it now?" He asked, remembering what they intended to give Dumbledore for his birthday.
"Probably should. Don't want it to arrive too late!" Sirius stood up. "What a shame that would be."
"Dad, we're heading back!" James yelled into the kitchen. Nigel said something in return and James smirked. "All right, we'll try to catch her." He said, turning back to Sirius. "Dad says to watch for Mum."
"Where do you think she's wondered off to?" Sirius asked before shouting a goodbye out to Mr. Potter as they left.
"I'm not sure..." He said honestly, not seeing her as they walked down the street. "Probably buying pies or pens. She likes objects that start with 'p'."
Sirius glanced at James but decided to not say anything about the strange antics of Mrs. P. "Ah. Well maybe we'll see her on our way."
"Jamesy!" Came a shout, and Gloria ran to her son, hugging him from behind. "I'm sorry I left the dinner table, I was just a bit confused! I went shopping and I feel much better..." She glanced over at Sirius. "Are you two going back to Hogwarts?"
"Yeah, we are. We have a few things to do." He told her with a smile. "Thanks for dinner, it was great."
She let go of James and hugged Sirius. "You're welcome, dear! Come over any time you'd like. Jamesy, visit more!" Gloria paused, staring at her son. "And good luck with that Lily of yours. I'll send you some pies next weekend. Bye, darlings!" She said, waving and walking towards her house.
James just watched her go, slightly shocked.
"Well, she got her name right this time." Sirius gave James a clap on the back before starting off down the road.
"Mum...got Lily's name right!" He repeated, shocked. He ran to catch up with Sirius. "I can't wait for them to meet. But first, Lily has to start liking me a bit more."
"I'd think so..." Sirius realized he probably wouldn't hear the end of this for a good week or so now. "Might help a little."
"We already have proof that she's going to change her mind, now don't we?" James said, a little annoyed. Couldn't Sirius be a little happier for him?
"Yeah, yeah. But that doesn't mean it's set in stone, you know." Sirius pointed out for the millionth time already.
"Hey, I know true love when I see it." James said, ignoring Sirius' very valid argument. "And she does love me, but it's just *very* deep down. She'll change her mind soon. Honestly!"
"Okay, okay. We'll see, won't we?" Sirius stopped when they got to the wall with the brick and waited for James.
James smirked, enjoying his turf. He tapped the brick to the left of the green one, and they were back in Hogsmeade. "By the way, this brick wasn't always green." He said, wiggling his eyebrows. "That was another feat of Mum's."
"Have I mentioned how brilliant your mum is?" Sirius laughed as he glanced back at the brick.
James shrugged and walked out of the alley. "She really is--she's the best." His mother was amazing, despite her age--or perhaps because of it. "All right, let's go work on that exploding cake..."
"Most definitely...can't neglect our lovely Headmaster's day of birth, after all." Sirius grinned.