The Pen is Mightier! (penismightier) wrote in chaotic_library, @ 2016-07-02 13:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | bruce banner, bucky barnes, maria hill, marvel, novel, r-rated, sharon carter, steve rogers, tony stark, yuuo, yuuo: marvel |
[Bucky Barnes; R] Uncivil War: Chapter 5
Character/Series: Bucky Barnes; Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: R
Notes: GODDAMNIT, TONY.
Title: Uncivil War- Chapter 5: The Broken Clock
Author: yuuo
Word Count: 4958
Summary: It was day four at the school before the rest of their things showed up, Tony in tow.
and i am here still waiting
though i still have my doubts
i am damaged at best
like you've already figured out
-Lifehouse
It was day four at the school before the rest of their things showed up, Tony in tow. Or rather, the other way around.
They'd been a mostly peaceful few days; Steve and Bucky had resisted any urges to snipe at each other, although Steve had done a lot more nightmare sketches that Bucky had peeked at. It'd only been a few days since that drug finally got out of his system, so he couldn't really expect a big change, but it was disheartening to keep seeing signs of Hydra, and not just Hydra, but the Soldier's connection to them, over and over and over again in Steve's drawings. His sketchbook was almost full.
But Tony showed up and the relative peace was broken by the chaos of boxes of things appearing in their atrium to be sorted and unpacked. Bucky didn't want to, it meant that they were stuck there for awhile. For once, he hoped he had to pack up as soon as he'd unpacked. It was annoying, but he wasn't getting out of the unpacking, so he could hope.
"Tony, may I ask a question?" Maria said as a small handful of men and women that Bucky had seen working for Tony from time to time carried the boxes into the atrium.
"Shoot," Tony said, standing out of the way, off to the side of the open double doors, shielding his eyes from the summer sunlight with a hand. His response seemed a bit distracted as he watched the crew making trips.
Maria and the others were standing out of the way with Tony, making a chorus line of Avengers watching the workers like hawks, and Bucky couldn't imagine that made them calm.
"Why did it take four days to move already packed boxes?"
Tony turned his attention away from the crew to look at her. "I was getting together the stuff Bruce asked for, added a few things myself. Peter wanted a few more Dresden books sent with Bucky's stuff, I added a couple new notebooks and sketchbooks for them, I brought some stuff for Bucky and Bruce up in the work room I set up." He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a USB stick that had a different hook up than an actual USB. "And I had to program this so I can get your information into those locks so you can get into the rooms."
He poked the computer stick in Bucky's direction, just on the other side from Maria. "And don't worry, I know those are left hand locks. I put in recognition of biomechtium for you. You don't have a normal handprint, but as far as we know, your arm is the only biomechtium available. So it should stay secure."
Tony tucked the computer stick in his pocket. "So I had a lot of stuff to gather up while I worked on that infodump, too. So give me some credit here, wouldja?"
Maria looked at him. "My apologies for asking. Thank you for all this. We weren't expecting you to come here personally to do this."
Glad to have been thanked, Tony beamed and waved it off. "Hey, you guys are fellow Avengers. I like you. I'm gonna take care of you. Just remember, after this, minimal contact." He looked down the line at Sharon. "Good disguise, by the way. It took me a second to recognize you."
Sharon twisted her little curl. "Steve cut it for me," she said, practically singing his praises. "Bucky dyed it." She also said that proudly, but Steve got the majority of the credit. Oh sure.
Tony waved his hand down the line to get Steve's attention. "I thought you could only do trims."
Steve shrugged, showing off his humbleness without meaning to. "I just copied the picture she gave me."
"You two should open a shop."
"Chairs, Tony," Bucky said. "I don't want to be around those all damn day. Besides, professional dyeing is probably different from that box stuff."
Steve's jaw went taut and it took Bucky a second to realize it was the mention of the chairs as something to be avoided that had set him off. At least, that's what Bucky assumed. He couldn't think of anything else that'd rile him. But the tension faded quickly when he spoke up with "speaking of hair cuts, yours needs it again."
"Later," Bucky replied, turning back to watch the crew go in and out with boxes from the unmarked truck. They looked almost done; Bucky couldn't believe how much stuff they had. To think he could've lived out of a bag on the streets at one point. Granted, this stuff also belonged to four other people, but had they all really accumulated that much stuff?
"So how much of this is actually from our apartments?" Bruce asked.
"About two thirds," Tony said.
That seemed almost not enough all of a sudden.
"The rest is the stuff you asked for the medical lab. I haven't looked at the place in awhile, but I suspect you'll be using storage room in the basement for some of the less used stuff. There's also that stuff I mentioned for the work room for you two. You'll be well entertained." He clapped his hands together. "Okay, gimme the tour. We can skip the class rooms, they're boring, I remember that, and I'm willing to bet you guys didn't dorm far away, so we can skip those. But I got some locks to reprogram for you, and I might as well see what you've done with the place."
"All of nothing," Bucky replied, moving without thinking to take the lead with Tony, the others flanking and falling into their own formation. They worked their way around the boxes and the workers who were basically done. "We only had our suitcases to live out of. But the kitchen looks nice."
"Do I get a meal while I'm here?"
"How long are you staying?"
Tony glanced back at the stacks of boxes. "I figured I'd help set up the work room at least, if not helping Bruce set up the medlab. It's kinda my fault he didn't get to the one at the Tower, the least I can do is help with this one."
"So a day or so?" Bruce asked. "Unless you want to run nonstop all day. If a third of that is for the work room and the medical lab, we're going to be working awhile, and we'd like to get to our personal things, as well."
"I think we'll get it done quickly. Bucky here can help us with the work room, that'll make that room go faster, and we can recruit him to help with the medlab. You two will be slow to set your own stuff up, but I should be out of here by nightfall."
"What about the workers?" Maria asked. "You came in with them, are they staying, too?"
Tony shook his head. "No. One of the boxes marked for the medlab is my suit, I'll fly myself back." He paused, looking at the stairwell leading to the second floor. "When did you guys adopt cats?"
Bucky stopped and glanced past him. "They were here when we got here. Twenty ghost cats."
Tony gave him a skeptical side eye. "Ghost cats."
"Or something supernatural," Bruce said. "We all saw one of them run through a door, then physically interact with us an offering of food as if nothing was out of the ordinary."
Tony turned to stare at them all. "Why didn't anyone tell me? I could've made equipment to bring in to study this!"
"You're the one that dismissed the unnatural as anything worth bothering with," Bucky said. "Randomly melting paint? We think it might've had something to do with the cats. You told us to look for the solution ourselves, we did, we found it, that was the end of it."
"One of these days, Bucky," Tony said, giving him an evil look, "our respective smartasseries are going to clash in unhappy ways."
"You love me too much to do that," Bucky said as straight faced as humanly possible.
"Only sometimes." Tony rubbed his hands over his face. "Okay, supernatural cats. Yeah, probably had something to do with your melting paint. Any other incidents?"
Bucky shook his head. "None so far. Just them deciding to go through things to get to human food when they want it. The big calico's fairly well behaved, but the others aren't always so polite."
"So just like living with a bunch of cats you don't have to clean up after, then?"
"And that Sharon can interact with without having an allergic reaction, yeah,"
Tony nodded, looking around at the cats gathering along the walls to investigate the newcomers. "Okay, with everything I have to do yet, I'm putting it on my 'not that important' list unless you guys call and say things went to hell with them. But seriously, try to gather some information on the guys. I want to see some science. It'll be a nice break to read when I come back into the country."
"So the Avengers were called out?" Maria asked, arms folded across her chest.
"Yeah." Tony sighed. "I'm heading out tomorrow, Thor and Rhodey and Sam are already there. Natasha and Clint showed up, knew they would, they're bringing Dr. Hope with them once I set up a proper base of operations for us out there for him to be safe in. He doesn't have a Code Green he can use to join us, he needs a safe place to wait for us to bring the injured back to him. Or whatever doing out there. Not sure yet."
Nobody was surprised, least of all Bucky, when Steve finally joined the conversation with "we should be going."
Sharon took his hand and he didn't look uncomfortable because of it. "We will," she said. "Just not yet."
Steve looked at Bucky, and Bucky refused to dignify anything that might be going through Steve's head, merely returned the look with a flat expression. "Not soon enough," Steve said.
Don't show him anything.
Tony, smooth as ever, eased over the suddenly tense air that everyone was feeling by inviting himself to breakfast. "It's barely past dawn, you haven't eaten yet, have you?"
"Beyond some pastries I made last night, no," Bucky said.
"Good, I want food."
Bucky rolled his eyes. "You're a glutton, Tony. But fine, I'll make breakfast. We need to eat anyway if we have a long day ahead of us. Don't expect anything big for lunch."
"I am not a glutton," Tony protested, letting Bucky lead them back to the cafeteria. "I merely enjoy the finer things in life. I keep myself in shape, and I hardly overeat, I just happen to like your cooking. Take the compliment."
"I will," Bucky said, pushing open the doors. There was suddenly a parade of cats following them, tails up in the air. He pushed the stopper down on the door to let everyone in. "Don't think you furballs are sharing," he said. He looked at Tony. "I hope you didn't want my hashbrowns, we don't have the spices. Your selection you left was pitiful and Sharon's been waiting to go into town until you got here so we could figure out if anything else was missing that we could get ourselves."
Tony pouted. "I was kinda hoping for those. But fine, surprise me." He looked at the cats crowding around the group's usual table. "How many?"
"Twenty."
Tony shook his head and grabbed a chair to plop down into. "Don't envy you guys. My one is enough."
"And we don't have to clean a box or hairballs," Bucky said, heading for the kitchen.
"Brag about it," Tony called after him. "I demand a good breakfast to make up for that!"
Bucky motioned to Steve. "Hey, Steve, come help me. I don't have a bunch of food pre-ready for me to make a feast out of."
Steve's eyebrows raised, but he let go of Sharon's hand to follow Bucky, leaving Bruce and the women to join Tony at the table. Once the kitchen door had closed behind him, he walked over to the fridge where Bucky was already digging around for eggs- please say they have enough left -and some other things. "You don't really need help, do you?" Steve's voice was quiet, like he knew there was a serious subject coming up, but there was a hint of 'well, maybe he actually does and that's weird' to it.
Bucky was relieved to find enough eggs still and set the carton on the counter. "Nope," he said just as quietly. He straightened, giving Steve a stern look. "I caught that tone and that look when you said we weren't going out soon enough. We're not doing that shit today. There is too much to do and we don't need Tony going 'I told you so' about dropping our happy asses here, okay?"
Steve didn't look like he wanted to argue, taking in a breath of air that released any tension he still had in his brain. "You're right," he said. "And I'm sorry. I don't- I don't actually mean to do that. That kind of thing just pops out."
"That's Hydra talking," Bucky said, grabbing a pound of potatoes out of their potato bin. "Here, you actually can help. Grate some of these. I can't make the exact same hashbrowns, but Tony likes them anyway, and they're filling." He grabbed the milk out of the fridge, then shut the door. "But I know. I remember saying some pretty hurtful things to you early on in DC. Just not in front of Tony, okay?"
"Yeah," Steve said. searched the drawers for the grater, found it, went to work. "I just wish I knew how to get them out faster. We should be out there. You and me, Hydra's our job. I know that. I'm starting to remember the war a little. Hydra's always been ours. And other people are fighting them for us. I don't know them, trying to remember, and I know they're teammates, just like the guys were back then, but we should be with them."
"I know," Bucky said, working on whipping up some scrambled eggs. He didn't have all the spices he wanted for them, either, and the last few days had been torture in the kitchen for him, creating bland meals for his family when he knew he could do better with the proper ingredients. "And we will be. I don't know how we're going to do this, but we will. We're partners, we're in this mess together. No more going out without each other. That just got us both into trouble."
Steve stopped grating the potato in his hand and looked at Bucky, catching his attention with a smile. "Thank you."
Bucky stopped mid-crack of an egg. "For what?"
Steve shrugged. "Just for saying that. When we start arguing, it's kinda hard to remember we're partners in this."
Bucky went back to paying attention to the food he was making. "I know." He wasn't sure what else to say at that point. Thoughts flitted around his head, images and feelings and the notes of a song he was sure he knew, a song with words that might actually describe what was going on his brain, but he couldn't quite pin it down.
That didn't help come up with any words, so he didn't say any more.
Steve sounded like he was speaking with trepidation when he said "are you angry at something?"
Bucky looked up, blinking owlishly at him. "What? No. Why?"
"Because you went quiet," Steve said. "That was kind of a short response."
Bucky shook his head, going back to whisking the eggs and milk and cheese. "No, I just..." He frowned. "I guess I forgot that you don't remember this. One of the things I learned with Hydra, something I taught myself to survive them until it'd just become part of the Soldier, of me, was that I stopped thinking in words. You can't mouth off if you don't have the words to mouth off with. Words aren't easy for me sometimes. Sometimes something spills out okay, but mostly, I just don't know how to say what I'm thinking, because I don't know what I'm thinking."
"That wasn't in the files," Steve said. "They didn't know?
"They didn't know what went through my head except that I was obeying orders."
"Because the Soldier was obeying."
Bucky clenched his fist, bending the whisk into a lopsided L. "Steve, don't. Don't start. Not today." He set the whisk down on the counter. "I get it, okay? You don't like the Soldier. But you can't separate us, I am the Soldier. I am always going to be the Soldier."
"What I saw the Soldier do is not what you would do," Steve hissed, then glanced back over his shoulder through the serving window.
Bucky looked back too; the others seemed locked in conversation. Good. He looked back at Steve. "It is now," Bucky said. "This is why I told you he loves you as much as I do, because he's me. I did that for you. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I have always been willing to twist my brain into knots for you. Or do you not remember that I became a sniper to protect your stupid ass in the field?"
Steve clearly didn't that much was obvious in the way he stared blankly at Bucky, any anger suddenly replaced by confusion. "You did that for me? Why?"
"Because you felt the need to wear a flag-colored target all over the place," Bucky said. "And don't act like you haven't turned yourself into knots over me. Pepper would be all too happy to remind you how you lied to her and Tony and used them to get my arm fixed and my mouth open to start talking to you and you did it without a second thought, even above my protests that we needed to tell Tony about Howard, first."
"Howard? What happened to Howard?"
Leave it to Steve to grab onto that to avoid the rest of it.
"The Winter Soldier was sent to kill him, Steve," Bucky said. "I didn't want Tony to fix my arm after it got blown by an RPG because of that, because I wasn't ready to go back there, and you took me there anyway and didn't tell either Tony or Pepper. And I trusted you to tell them when you felt you should. They didn't find out for over a year and they found out from the press. I know you don't remember any of this, but you did this. So yes, I will do whatever I have to to protect you from whoever I have to, and you do the same, so we can stop bitching at each other over it, mmkay?"
Steve looked down at the half-grated potato in front of him, sitting flat on the grater over a bowl of already shredded potato. "Do you really need my help in here?"
"No, but if you leave, they're gonna know something happened," Bucky said, setting aside the egg mixture to start on the sausage patties. They were frozen, not Bucky's first choice, but that was what had been in the kitchens and Bucky hadn't had enough sausage in his freezer to bring along to make his own after the first couple days. "So just grate the damn potatoes. You can leave once they're done. You can tell the others that I kicked you out of my kitchen."
"Fine." Steve went back to work, taking his frustration out on that potato. Another two shredded quickly. "You gonna fix that whisk?"
The spatula Bucky was using on the sausage almost joined the whisk's fate. "Yes. Get out. Just go. I got this."
"Gone." And he was, very quickly, and Bucky was grateful he stopped at the last second to compose himself. He heard Steve tell the others he was kicked out of 'le chef's kitchen before a chair scraped on the ground. Bucky didn't look, he only assumed that Steve had sat down. He hoped like hell that Steve could keep up that casual manner with the others because not today, goddamnit. There was too much to do.
Not today, not now, not ever, please let this be over. Bucky gripped the counter tightly, just barely catching himself from bending it like he'd done to the work counter in Bruce's main office in the medlab. Deep breath. In. Out.
He let the sausage simmer while he worked on unbending the whisk's handle, slowly and nitpicking about it. Bringing Steve back from Hydra felt like it was harder than coming back himself had been. And he was fighting them again at the same time.
He'd never make it, he'd never do this, he'd go crazy and kill everyone in a murder/suicide pact that only he agreed to.
Not now. Not today.
He went back to the food, starting up the hashbrowns.
Tony, of course, complimented them once they were served, and had the grace to not compare them to Bucky's usuals, which they all knew were much better. The others paid compliments, including Steve, and Bucky was already starting to wonder if he could trust Steve's attempts at normalness after a fight. Was that sarcasm? Was that a lie? Or a strained attempt at telling the truth while still angry?
"So what're the plans, exactly?" Tony said over a mouthful of food. "You guys live here, I'm just here to help with the medlab and the work room."
"How about you and Bucky work on the work room while I take care of my own things?" Bruce said. "Then you can come help me in the medlab while Bucky takes care of his stuff. That gives me a chance to sort what I have instead of leaving them sitting in the atrium. I don't want to stretch myself too thin this time."
Tony nodded his head side to side with a guilty look. "Okay, that's fair. I did overwork you when you left. Okay, Bucky and I will start first."
Bucky rolled his eyes, forcing himself into his usual interactions. "Oh joy. Gonna tell me about the latest cute thing Junior did?"
"I might," Tony said. "You can now share your own, with twenty of the furballs running around and speaking of, do none of them know the definition of the word 'no'?" He glared at the cats gathered around their feet and on other tables.
"Nope," Buck said, taking a bite of eggs. "Told you, Cali has manners, the others not so much." He looked down at his feet. "Speaking of, hello, Cali. You can wait."
Cali adjusted her weight on her front feet and watched him with great interest, but didn't otherwise make any move towards his food or the table or even a chair.
"Good girl."
She was rewarded at the end of the meal.
Maria and Sharon took over the cleaning after breakfast was done, letting the men go to start sorting boxes in the atrium. Seven piles were ultimately made, one for each of the ladies, one for Bruce, one shared by Bucky and Steve, one for the medlab, and the boxes for the work room that Bucky and Tony started hauling up the stairs. Bucky balanced one up on his metal shoulder, another barely gripped under his flesh arm. It was a bigger box, lighter than the other one he was carrying, but wider and harder to keep a grip on. He rode Tony's ass to hurry up the stairs with the third box he was carrying.
"You're cranky today," Tony said after they'd both set down the boxes. "Anything to do with that argument with you had with Cap in the kitchen, or did you wake up grumpy?"
Bucky grabbed one of the boxes and set it up on the main work counter. "You heard it?"
"No, but none of us had to. Cap's still a bad liar, we could tell he was tense. Have you two been fighting lately?"
Bucky studied the box in front of him, trying to bite back the tears of frustration. "Just the first day," he said. "It was just a stressful day, today's a stressful day, it's fine."
"And that's not true," Tony said, pulling the box over and taking a box cutter out of his back pocket. "Come on, talk to me. What's really going on? This have to do with Palestine?"
"Sorta," Bucky admitted, watching Tony with only half interest. "Hydra's in deep. All he can see-" He cut himself off, trying to think where to really start. "He wasn't fully sedated in that operating room. He was just aware enough to see me kill those doctors. I- I wasn't clean and efficient with them."
"Torture?"
"No. Just made sure they felt their deaths instead of being quick. So now all he can see of the Soldier is fear and blood. Then he saw those files."
Tony started setting out piece of equipment to put together. "What, the Winter Soldier files? I thought he already had."
Bucky took the pieces and started putting them back together into familiar form. "He'd forgotten everything in them," he said. "The first day here was the first time he'd seen them since that drug took his memories."
Tony finished emptying that box and broke it down, tossing it to the side of the room. "So he's seeing you too close to Hydra and now he's afraid of you."
"Maybe," Bucky said, pausing and staring down at the vacuum pump still partly in pieces in front of him. "He's certainly getting pissy with me. And I'm doing it right back because I've already paid once for Hydra, I don't see why I have to do it again."
"Because they're back in you, too," Tony said, grabbing the second box. "Might wanna hurry up with that, I have more stuff for you."
Bucky glanced at him, then slid parts and pieces farther away from where Tony was to work on them out of his way. "I know they are. And it's not helping, no. But he's not giving me any chances. He can't separate me from Hydra as long as he has to accept that I'm the Soldier." He frowned, pausing with a hose in a stilled hand. "That's how he acts, anyway. If I can still read him, that's what he's doing, but I guess I realize I don't know if I'm reading him right."
Tony stepped over and put his hand on Bucky's flesh shoulder. "This is why you have Bruce and the girls," he said. "If you have to, let them work on getting Hydra out of you. I know you don't like us seeing them, but that's why I sent them with you guys. To help you. We all knew that you're the only one that can help Steve, but you can't do a damn thing if you're left to deal with it on your own. You two are sharing a room, I assume?"
When Bucky nodded, Tony continued. "Spend a night with Maria if you haven't already. Get Sharon to make Steve play that game now that your Wii U is here. It'll hook up in to the TV in the lounge just fine. Have Bruce working on medicine up here for Steve. Just get some time away. I know you don't like being alone, so don't be. You have Maria, and the other two will keep Steve distracted for you. You'd be surprised how much it helps stress levels just spending some time with your lady."
With a sigh, Bucky went back to work. "I can't. First night, I gave Steve a chance to have the room to himself. He said it's worse at night, and he's right, it is."
"So don't leave him at night," Tony said. "I know, you think you have to be with him all the time to make everything better, but just spend a day with Maria. Don't worry about cooking for the others, they're big kids, they can do it just fine themselves. Cook for you and Maria, take it up to her room, eat up there. Keep to yourselves. You can be there for Steve at bedtime, just spend a day away from each other." He pointed his box cutter at Bucky. "You need to destress. And he probably does too."
Bucky turned his head to look at him. "You sure like to talk a lot."
Tony grinned. "And that's you saying that I'm right. So, back to work, and after everything's unpacked, take a day off and spend it with Maria."
"I'll talk to her about it."
"You think she'll say no?" Tony sounded about ready to scold Bucky for not having enough faith in her.
"That's not it, I'm just not going to spring a surprise destressing day on her," Bucky said. "I might catch her in a bad mood and that'd just defeat the purpose."
"Okay, yeah, don't do that. But seriously, talk to her. If someone has to explain it to Steve, have her do it, or she can have Sharon or Bruce do it. But talk. To. Her."
Bucky rolled his eyes. "I already said I will." He finished putting together the pump, then turned to the next set of parts Tony had laid out for him. "Now shut up and let's get this place set up."