The Knight in Slightly Tarnished Armor (yuuo) wrote in chaotic_library, @ 2007-06-12 19:18:00 |
|
|||
Current music: | The Vincent Black Shadow - Metro |
Entry tags: | edward elric, fma, fma: post-anime, gen, pg-13, roy mustang, short story, yuuo, yuuo-lj, yuuo: fma |
[Edward Elric; Roy Mustang; PG-13] Just One Man
Character/Series: Edward Elric; Roy Mustang; Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Spoilers for the whole series.
Title: Just One Man
Author: yuuo
Word Count: 1843
Summary: Sleeping to the sound of a train, the steady chorus of click-clack-click-clack for mile after dark, lonely mile, was a favorite pasttime of Edward Elric, the once-Fullmetal Alchemist.
Original LJ Post Date: Feb 23, 2005 @ FM_Alchemist
You shout in your sleep.
Perhaps the price is just too steep.
Is your conscience at rest
If once put to the test?
You awake with a start
To just the beating of your heart.
Just one man beneath the sky,
Just two ears, just two eyes.
-"Childhood's End" Pink Floyd
Just One Man
Sleeping to the sound of a train, the steady chorus of click-clack-click-clack for mile after dark, lonely mile, was a favorite pasttime of Edward Elric, the once-Fullmetal Alchemist. These days, he travelled from one city to the next, searching, hoping for even the hint of a lead, some clue that might help him solve the puzzle that had been presented before him. It was daunting at best, easily surpassing its predecessor in terms of sheer hopelessness. Before he'd been faced with moving against the flow of the world, of trying to set back time, reach for things that only existed in legend and myth. Now...
It was only in the few moments between the time that Edward had taken his seat and the time that sleep overtook him that he let these thoughts surface in his mind. He couldn't afford to let himself think like that beyond that. If he did, he was afraid that he might give up.
If the task he'd set for himself back home had been something he found impossible to turn back from, turning back from this would kill him. He simply couldn't face the thought of giving up. Giving up meant saying he'd accepted that he'd never see Al again.
"So tell me, Fullmetal," a familiar voice said with a faint hint of nostalgic amusement from the seat across from him, "how exactly do you plan on getting to Amestris from the stars?"
Edward lifted his head and opened his eyes in a mild annoyance that he didn't entirely feel and looked over at his seatmate. "It would figure," he said sleepily, stretching his good arm above his head as he yawned, "that you would be the one that my unconcious dregs up to talk to me in my dreams."
Roy Mustang smirked, crossing his legs and slouching in his seat a bit in a manner distinctly unbefitting an officer. "You miss me that much, I suppose. You didn't answer my question."
Edward looked out the window, propping his elbow up on the sill and resting his chin in his palm, still not giving an answer, watching the dark countryside pass by them outside. They'd left the station at Gratz in Austria sometime ago, and had probably crossed the border into Hungary by now, on the long and slow journey to to some town in Translyvania that Edward was too tired to try to remember at that moment.
"I don't know." There. Honesty. Normally, he might try to play games with the colonel, but in the safety of his own mind, what was the point? Mustang would know he was lying. Not that the real Mustang wouldn't have been able to see through any answer he could've given there.
"Eternally chasing dreams. You never really grew up, did you, Fullmetal?"
"I thought we both decided we were fine with being childish."
"That we did, didn't we?" Roy turned to look out the window, watching the passing landscape of East Europe pass by them. He was silent a moment, a contemplative look gracing his features. "A strange new world, isn't it?"
"Hm." Not really an agreement, not really a denial. Strange wasn't even a word strong enough to describe what Edward thought of this world. It was a hateful place, so different from his home, with places and people he neither knew nor had care to know. Normally the scientist in him would've been thrilled to explore such a vast new world and learn its secrets, but... even that was empty when the seat next to him on the train was so constantly unoccupied. The only thing that had made this world tolerable was the familiarity of his father and the sounds of the train stations that were very much the same as they had been in his world.
But even those lost their sense of comfort.
"After awhile it gets hard to pretend, doesn't it?" Edward refused to look over at Roy when he spoke up again, watching the mountains of Hungary as they loomed silently just outside his window. "So how long did you manage to make it? A week? A month?"
"A year." His hand was half-covering his mouth, so his voice, already quiet, was muffled, making it near impossible to understand. Not that it mattered. Roy didn't ask for him to repeat himself, nor did he look, as Edward glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, as if he hadn't understood what had been said.
Roy watched him, an irritatingly patient smirk on his face, waiting for an elaboration that, under normal circumstances, might never come.
Oh what the hell. He was only dreaming anyway, right? Even if it was a dream, he had to take the company for what it was and not waste it.
"A year, before I stopped being able to pretend that these damn things were really taking me home to Rizenbul or even to Central and not to some gods-only-know place. London, Berlin... they're not home." He chuckled, a weak and entirely humorless sound, and lifted his head, looking over at Roy. "For the first time in almost seven years, I want to go home. And there's actually a place I can call that now to go back to." He shook his head, dropping his hands into his lap and looking down at them, a faintly miserable look on his face. "The bitter irony is, when I thought there wasn't a place to go back to, it was never hard to get there, but now that I have a place I can call home... it's out of my reach."
"If we believed in such a thing as gods, I'd say they were picking on you, Fullmetal."
"... they got a damn spiteful sense of humor then."
The colonel laughed at that, sitting up in his seat a bit.
"Maybe it's just my destiny."
Roy stopped laughing abruptly, studying Edward intently. "Destiny? And when did you start believing in something like that?"
"I don't. Really?" Edward looked back up at him, a pitiful smile on his face. "I don't. And I doubt I really ever will. Oh, I'll humor the idea every now and then, but... even then... I'm not sure how else to explain it." He lowered his gaze again. "I worked for four years, did everything I could, to get Al his body back. To undo that mistake. I'm still not even sure it worked, but... that was equivalent trade. So... so what is this? Why am I here? What is this in exchange for?"
No answer came from across the seat. Hesitantly, Edward looked back up, waiting for some sign of a reaction. The expression on his companion's face registered a bit of surprise at what he'd just heard, and held a faint note of sympathy, almost pity. After a moment, the man shook his head, smiling ruefully. "He misses you, you know."
Edward blinked, momentarily unsure what to make of that answer, then grinned faintly and sat back, studying the stitching on his glove. "Does he? What other pretty little lies are you going to tell me? I thought you saved those for your women."
A smirk crossed Roy's face. "Hmph. Is that what you think of me? I only tell you what your mind wants you to hear, Fullmetal."
"...I know." With a sigh, Edward tilted his head back, resting it against the back of the seat, and closed his eyes. "So tell me what I want to hear then. Is he doing okay?"
"How the hell should I know?" Roy answered with a smartassed smirk. "I just live in your own mind."
Cracking an eye open, Edward flicked his gaze to look at Roy. "I thought you were supposed to tell me what my mind wanted to hear."
"Within reason, of course."
"You're an asshole, even when I control you. Shit." With a laugh, Edward straightened, crossing his arms in front of him.
"You'd better wake up. We're almost at the Veszprem station. You'll want the chance to stretch your legs."
Edward's smile dimmed a bit, studying his former commanding officer a bit wistfully. Waking up meant facing the reality that no one, not even that insufferable jackass sitting across from him, was actually there. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I guess."
Wordlessly, Roy stood up, offering Edward a faint smile as a parting, then started to walk away.
"Hey, Colonel?"
Roy paused in the empty aisle and turned back to look at him. "Yes, Fullmetal?"
"... it was a pleasure serving under you." Edward turned his head to look at him, a smile on his lips even as tears threatened at the corners of his eyes.
A pause, then Colonel Roy Mustang smiled, turned to face Edward, and saluted. "It was an honor to act as your commanding officer, Fullmetal Alchemist. No... Edward Elric."
Edward somewhat sheepishly lifted his left hand to return the salute. "Forgive me for using my left hand, sir."
"Of course, Fullmetal. I expect a full report when you get home. I'll see you then."
"Veszprem Station, ladies and gentlemen!"
Edward jostled awake, lifting his head from the cold glass of the window. Blearily, he looked around, then lifted his hand to rub his eyes, sitting up in his seat. He listened to the conductor prattle something about departure in two hours as he rolled his head, trying to work the stiffness from his neck.
For a second he sat there in his seat, eyes unfocused on the ground in front of him, not quite willing to get up and pull himself the out of the fog that still partially hung over his mind and face the world. Finally, he leaned forward to stand up and paused. Cautiously, he stole a glance at the seat across from him.
Empty. As he knew it would be.
He shook his head. "You've been sleeping too damn much," he muttered to himself, getting to his feet. "You can't tell dream from reality anymore." Sighing, he rubbed the back of his head and stepped out into the aisle. The car was mostly empty, so shuffling off the train was minimal trouble for once.
Pausing on the steps from the train car, Edward looked around the station. It was empty, which wasn't a surprise, this time of night. It was cold, and dark, devoid of much in the way of life, and the only sounds to be heard the hissing of the train itself.
Something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned to look, then blinked, frozen to the spot. A blue-clad, dark-haired figure watched him from the far end of the station plateau. Their gazes held a moment, then the man turned on his heel and walked away, disappearing into the darkness of the Hungarian night.
Edward stood, too shocked to move for a moment, then smiled faintly. "I'll get back as soon as I can. You pass that message on for me."
You set sail across the sea
Of long past thoughts and memories.
Childhood's end, your fantasies
Merge with harsh realities.
And then as the sail is hoist,
You find your eyes are growing moist.
All the fears never voiced
Say you have to make your final choice.