"I know Spike's manipulating me. It's not even--" Angel sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "He wouldn't be able to play into my fears if they weren't there in the first place. Beth makes me happy, Wes. I can't risk finding out exactly how happy she makes me. And it's not just the soul issue. I haven't... cared about anyone this much in a long time. And you've seen what happens when I care about someone -- when any of us care about someone. I lost Cordy, you lost Fred, Buffy's died twice and I couldn't do a thing about it either time. Hell, if Xander hadn't been there the first time, she wouldn't have made it through to get a second time." He stared down at his mug. "I can't lose Beth too. I just can't. I can survive losing Spike, but Beth... I mean, how many times can I watch someone I love die before it kills me too?"