Phoenix Radio Who: Lee Jordan, Harry Potter When: Thursday, Midnight Where: From the Potter's place. What: Phoenix Radio Rating: Pg-13 - mentions of death and violence Open/Closed: Close
Lee had been whinging at Fred to try to get him to come on the show this time when he'd managed to get word to Harry, through his dad, and Harry offered to do it instead. Since Harry was the one everyone wanted to hear from, he let Fred off the hook and took Harry's offer to set up at his parents' place for this broadcast.
Harry was sitting nervously nearby as Lee set up the equipment and plopped down on Harry's bed, starting off. "Hello loyal listeners, and newcomers alike. I'm River, and this is Phoenix Radio, your only real source for the truth, untainted by Ministry propaganda. Though delightfully seasoned by my opinions and charm."
"We've got a special guest here tonight, one Harry Potter, fresh from a stint spent not doing any of the shite people have been saying he was doing, which I'm sure he'll tell you about. Before that though, we've got some sad news to touch on. Some sources close to the Ministry have managed to dig up a list of muggleborns brought in or volunteering for registration who did not come back out. Reports are saying that some are detained within the Ministry itself, while others are being held at Azkaban. Muggleborns with a famous name get off more easily - Quidditch players and other celebrities, no matter how minor - are coming in to find mysterious wizarding relatives in their bloodlines all of the sudden, exonerating them from their imaginary magic stealing. I ask you, dear listeners, how blokes - and ladies - who supposedly have no magic are meant to be swiping it. But logic has no place in this. This list might not be complete, but it's what we have so far."
Lee picked up the list, carefully reading off each name that George had given the order.
When he'd finished, Lee set the paper down again. "And the sad news continues. Hogwarts fourth year Gryffindor and muggleborn Jimmy Peakes has been reported dead of a Death Eater attack. Jimmy's family held him back from returning to Hogwarts, and he accidentally set off the Trace on You-Know-Who's name, which led to his attack."
"Hogwarts itself is a little less safe these days, with Dumbledore no longer in residence. But Peakes and all of those muggleborns currently locked up prove that it's still safer at good old Hoggy Hogwarts than it is out of it. Snape in charge or no. Your host can't help but wonder who he slept with to get that job, listeners. And then I feel like I need to be obliviated for wondering."
The joking felt hollow, after the announcement about Peakes, but Lee was showman enough to know that you had to work keep people listening, no matter what. He swallowed a bit and moved on. "And with that, I'll hand you off to our guest for the week. Who is a bigger man than me, using his real name and all. But not literally bigger, since I'm actually impressively giant. Take it away, Harry."
“Right,” Harry said, taking the microphone and clearing his throat. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he started with, “So, Undesirable Number One, right? It’s quite an honour...” But even he didn’t laugh at his joke, and instead he just shook his head and tried again. “I guess I can start by saying what I haven’t done. I haven’t released prisoners from Azkaban to cause trouble, and I haven’t been going around attacking anyone. Death Eaters have been doing that. The same people who’ve been responsible for taking over the Ministry, and pushing through all this trash about muggleborn registration, and responsible for great teams of people running around trapping muggleborns and stealing from them, or dragging them in for questioning, or probably just killing them...”
He could feel the locket heavy against his chest, and he could tell that he was getting too irritated, but didn’t stop himself. “It’s all You Know Who, and I feel stupid saying that he’s spending so much time trying to find anyone who disagrees with him that there’s a sodding trace on his name, now. But it’s all him, everything bad that’s happened in the last five years has been him, and you know what? He’s not going to win. There’s a whole army ready to stand up and taken him down.” And for the first time, he actually felt like that was true, because the army new what it needed to do to make that happen, now, and Harry didn’t feel quite so much like he was about to walk into this all on his own.
Lee nodded. "Right. Well, it's nothing we haven't said before, but nothing like the horse's mouth to make stating the obvious seem classier," he said. "That will do us in for this show. Our thoughts are with the families and friends of Peakes, the imprisoned muggleborns, and everyone else we've already lost in all of this. Keep listening next time, when our password will be gingersnaps. And keep listening for the number to call if you're in a bad way, and need help. Leave a message with your name and location, and we'll find you, promise." He played the prerecorded bit he'd set up with the number and instructions to call.
Lee shut down with the faint hiss of feedback, and then gave Harry a smile. "Thanks for that, mate. I'll get out of your hair." He started to pack back up, debating the likelihood of Harry's mum having some kind of supper before he left.