Lee Jordan (riverlee) wrote in changedrpg, @ 2011-12-16 22:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | !date: 1997 - december, !phoenix radio, lee jordan, sirius black |
Phoenix Radio
Who: Lee Jordan, Sirius Black
When: Thursday, at midnight. (Backdated, because I WROTE IT, but forgot to post, like an idiot.)
Where: Broadcasting from Angelina's houseboat.
What: Phoenix Radio
Rating: PG-13 for mentions of violence.
Open/Closed: Closed
Lee had planned to broadcast from the twins' shop, again, but then there'd been a shady sort of bloke hanging about outside on and off, so he'd moved it at the last moment, taking up Angelina's offer of her houseboat. Which made him nervous. Lee had never gotten on well with water that wasn't in a tub.
But soldier on, greater good, higher calling, good cause and all that rubbish, so he went on anyway. Even if he tried to get her to bring him a life vest and a snorkel first.
He gathered up his notes and watched the clock, flicking on the charms at midnight and starting the broadcast. "Hello again, dear listeners, and welcome to Phoenix Radio, your only source for non-rubbish radio in Wizarding Europe. We've boosted our signals tonight, ladies and gents, so welcome to any new listeners who are hearing us for the first time. I'm your stalwart and dashing host, River, and you'll hear from some of our guests later on."
"First up tonight, we've had word of a breakout at Azkaban. Recently imprisoned Death Eater and king Loon of the prison ward Rabastan Lestrange, along with several other prisoners, escaped. Their whereabouts are currently unknown, but if anything else pops up, we'll let you know. In the meantime, remember that they are dangerous, and don't try to bring them to justice unless you're an Auror on the side."
"Moving on, we have news from Hogwarts, where we're told that muggleborn students have been attacked and threatened. The Hogwarts Staff are doing their best to keep things in hand, but you know how kids are, these days, listeners. Crazy, bigoted and violent. It's all that rock music and sweets. And being sorted into Slytherin, probably."
Lee flipped his notes to the next page. "More news from Hogwarts, this time about Undesirable #1, the bloke most likely to have an up-close-and-personal with Lord V himself, Harry Potter. I'd like to tell you that he's here to talk to you, but instead he's sent a very pointed 'sod you' to You-Know-Who, largely by vanishing right out from under everyone's nose. If you believe the Prophet, that's because he was off breaking blokes he hates and who want to kill him out of Akzaban. But our listeners are too smart to believe that rubbish. Potter is off doing what he does best - foiling evil plans. Where ever you are, Harry, we're with you. Only a bit behind and to the side, where the hexes won't hit. Skeeter already wrote about this, of course, in her usual inimitable style, with its brilliant insight into her own narcissism, and a complete lack of anything that looks at all like facts."
"The big news lately was the werewolf attack in the Prophet. Now, listeners, I can't say werewolves aren't dangerous, and I think we all know that. But like everything else, they come in varieties. Most are just blokes and birds who had a bad lot, and don't want to hurt anyone. A few are bad apples who DO want to hurt people. Now, take a wild guess just who those sorts of werewolves work for. There you are, catch on fast, don't you? The Prophet is, as always, not telling the whole truth. We know for a fact You-Know-Who has been trying to recruit werewolf packs, and has at least two running about to do his dirty work. This attack might have happened, and it's awful stuff. We here at Phoenix Radio offer our sympathies to the families of the victims. But it was almost certainly manufactured by the arseholes in charge. So keep that in mind before you write off all wolves everywhere. Next up to talk a bit more about it, we have Scruffy, putting in his first appearance with us." Lee gestured to Sirius to take over, switching the charms off and sitting back to listen.
Sirius frowned, looking over at him. "Scruffy?"
Lee shrugged, speaking up enough for the other mic to pick up. "You wouldn't give me a name, and you could stand to shave, you know."
Sirius grumbled something that sounded like little prat, but cleared his throat. "Right, so the attack. It's not nonsense, I'll give you that. It happened. What they're not mentioning is WHY. Werewolf registration is already in the cards, and they're pushing for more control and less rights for wolves, goblins, and anyone else who isn't a pureblood wizard with at least six degrees of inbreeding in their family line. The easiest way to do that is to scare the shite out of everyone reading by showing what monsters everyone is, and how they should lock their windows and just do whatever the bloody Ministry tells them to. So the Dark Twat rounds up his pet werewolves, and sends them off to slaughter some innocent people, and then let the Prophet write it up as the nasty werewolf agenda. It's rotten, it's horrifying, and it's not about actual werewolves, even a little bit. It's about Death Eaters, and a maniac who wants to take over the world and will do anything to get where he wants to be."
Sirius paused, shrugging though it couldn't be seen. "Werewolves, the normal sorts, are dangerous one night a month. Most of them do everything they can do to keep themselves contained so they won't hurt anyone, for that night. Just like most PEOPLE can be thoughtless or stupid, but they really don't want to hurt anyone. And then there's a few who like to kill people. You don't kill the whole world because one bloke wanted to off people, and you don't call all wolves a menace because a few will kill people when the Dark Lord snaps his fingers. There's good people who were bitten. There's friends, sisters, brothers, fathers, lovers, and kids who have been bitten, and don't want to do anything but live their lives. So sod the Ministry, sod the Prophet, and. . . yeah, that's all, right?"
"Sounds good to me, mate," Lee spoke up, giving Sirius a thumbs up. Lee took back over, frowning as he heard a blip of static. Bloody charms. "Thanks for that, Scruffy. That's all for us this show, listeners. The Ministry and the Prophet continue to keep sounding the Death Eater party line, but no big changes since our last show. Muggleborns on the run, don't forget to call our line if you're in need of help." Lee gave out the number again, reciting it from memory by now, and then added, "and if you're willing to put up some people in need of help, then give us a call too, we'll need all the help we can get. Don't forget to listen for us Thursdays, at midnight. Our password next time will be 'showboat', and we'll be getting in a resident expert to give everyone a refresher on shielding charms. Until then, I'm River, and this has been Phoenix Radio!"
Lee gave the broadcast a moment to clear, and then shut down the charms and equipment carefully, slouching back in his seat and giving Angelina a reproachful look. "It COULD have sunk," he insisted, picking up the argument where he'd left off.