SUMMARY: A night of comfort, conversation, laughter & more
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N/A
The time between their last DM exchange and Quentin's arrival at the door couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes. His knock was soft, partly for sensitive vampire ears, and partly because he was a little embarrassed by being like this. Still, his smile may have been small, but it was genuine. "Hi. Thanks for letting me come over."
Louis opened the door and smiled warmly. "Hi, come in." Something was definitely off. The way Quentin even held himself was a little different. He wondered what had happened the previous night, but wouldn't push. Sometimes you really just need to be around someone or others who cared and would listen, or just sit with you.
"You don't need to thank me. You're welcome here anytime. I have some leftover soda from last week or water if you want something to drink."
"No, I, uh—" Louis was stepping away. Sure, it was just to let him in, but suddenly Q's brain decided it was intolerable, that what he needed now was to be close to someone. Someone kind.
He caught Louis's wrist in a loose hold and stepped in toward him. "Is it okay if I hug you?"
Louis paused when he felt warm fingers wrap around his wrist, then turned to look at Quentin. What he said was shocking in a way, but heartbreaking at the same time. It made it clear that the man was hurting or had been through something that was causing him pain and stress.
"Yes, of course you can." He turned to face the other fully then stepped closer and pulled him close to hold him. Another obvious thing Quentin needed.
Q sank in against him, arms circling Louis's back, so grateful for the contact it was probably pretty pathetic. It took him a second to register the absence of warmth, but it didn't bother him. He pressed the side of his face into the other's shoulder and sighed. Distantly, he registered the soft strands of hair against the back of his hands, but it wasn't the kind of moment where he could really process it. "Thank you."
His own arms wrapped around Quentin, one hand rubbed over his back lightly. He wished he'd drank some blood but the other had not recoiled from his touch so for the moment it wasn't an issue.
"You can have a hug anytime you want one, Quentin. You don't have to ask." He meant that. The sigh and weight of Quentin were further proof of his sadness, his grief over something. Louis would hold Q as long as he needed to be held. "How can I help you? Is there anything I can do?" He asked gently.
Tears were starting to prick his eyes all over again. He still didn't try to move away "No," he choked out, "there's nothing you can do. I just royally screwed up a friendship, and I keep screwing it up, and I don't know how to stop screwing it up, and I'm sorry. I didn't really come here to dump this on you. I just didn't want to be alone in my room for another night."
His heart went out to Quentin, wishing he could say or do something for him. "I doubt that. You might be surprised how much a friendship can take, how strong they can truly be." He had no way of knowing who Quentin was referring to.
"You're not dumping anything on me. I'm here for you. Not alone now." He gave him a gentle squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere and you can stay here as long as you need to."
For a long, long while, Quentin simply stood there, holding Louis and being held in return. He didn't really share his friend's optimism about his relationship with Eliot, and it broke his heart all over again.
Because at the end of the day, he was right:
For as long as they were in this world together, he'd always associate the pain of their breakup with him.
And it—Eliot's words and the events that spawned them in the first place—killed Quentin every time it popped into his head.
He had no idea how long they stood there like that. Enough for his knees to feel a little stiff when he sniffled and started to shift back. "I think I'll take you up on that water now, if that's okay."
As they stood there Louis began to rock a little. It was meant to be soothing and was started without thinking about it. "There's always hope, Quentin. No matter how dark things may seem or feel." It was those words that helped him keep going, trying in some way after the loss of Claudia and when he rejected Lestat. He didn't always live by them, but there were times they brought a small bit of comfort.
Louis stepped back and nodded. "Have a seat on the couch." He went to the kitchen and took a bottled water from the fridge then took it to Louis. He sat on the couch as well. "I wish I had more sage words to say to you. Just...I'm here for you." That sounded lame when he knew Quentin was hurting so much.
The sentiment, or something very similar, was one he'd heard from his therapist a time or two. Fortunately, he had a session scheduled later in the week. At the very least, he'd managed to get out this much emotion on top of crying himself to sleep the previous night, so he wouldn't be a live wire when he went to see them.
He moved as directed and sank down on the couch with all the grace of a sack of potatoes. His smile went from rueful to grateful when the cold plastic hit his palm. As soon as Louis sat, Quentin shifted closer so he could at least press their arms together. "You don't have to have the right words. It's more than enough that you're here and you're willing. Tell me something nice and good about your life? Distract me for a little while?"
Louis shifted his arm to slide around Quentin's shoulder and pull him closer. It wasn't a move or anything romantic. Quentin wanted to be held, have someone close and he would give him that.
"How about two good things?" A smile curved onto his lips. "I named the spider plant you brought me. Her name is Elizabeth. I talk to her every night when I wake up." And throughout the evening. "I think she likes it here." It was probably silly, but still true and it made him happy. "I like to dance. I wasn't too bad when I was a mortal. I don't know the modern dances now, but I can still do the waltz." Even if it had been ages since he'd last done it. "Do you like to dance?"
It took a little while, but not nearly as long as it might have had Quentin not been one big frayed nerve, for him to put his arm around Louis's middle. He wasn't so far sunk into his sadness not to realize just how forward he was being, how this might be perceived.
Who was around to perceive it though?
This was just one friend helping the other through a tough time.
He found himself smiling, touched by just how sweet Louis was. "Elizabeth. It's a lovely name. I'm glad you like her." Q chuckled and shook his head as best he could with it resting on his friend's shoulder. "I never had much talent for it, for dancing, but I've always heard all it takes is a good partner. Did you go to balls and stuff? Or hold a few of your own?"
Louis only wanted to help. He knew what it was like to be going through life's dark and tough moments but not have anyone to turn to, someone to be there and provide comfort. He could care less what anyone might think of what they were doing. It wasn't anyone's business, but theirs.
"I've always liked the name." He glanced over the plant that was now in his window. "They say that's the secret, a good partner. I did attend beautiful lavish balls." Sarah had loved to dance. Now and then she would dance in their home sans music. The memories were bitter sweet and he didn't want to dwell on them.
"What do you enjoy doing?" He asked, hoping to keep Quentin distracted. He went back to rubbing over his back, but couldn't help wondering if his coldness was unwanted, distracting or strange.
For just a moment, Q shut his eyes and imagined Louis, smiling and dancing with a lovely woman with indistinct features. Both of them were lavishly dressed. His fingers tightened minutely at Louis's side in silent support. "That sounds beautiful, and totally right. You really can't go wrong with the right partner."
He just wished he could find one he could hold on to, and who wanted to hold on to him.
"Mostly I just read. Most anything I can get my hands on. I love getting to explore different worlds or seeing it through other's perspectives." He hummed softly, a small amused noise. "I still owe you those fanfic recs."
Both his arms were wrapped around Quentin in a soft embrace. How and why was it that sadness and pain seemed to find each other. Not for the first time Louis wondered about Q's whole story, what he'd been through that caused him such pain and sorrow.
"Does that have a double meaning?" He mused aloud.
"I think that means we both need to get out more," he chuckled. "I'm not putting down that you like to read, just there's a lot to see and do, right?" Louis smiled and gave Quentin's hair a gentle tug. "I think you want to find me those fan fiction stories about shipping maybe," he teased.
Q had to blink a moment, thinking about what he'd just said. His cheeks felt warm. If he didn't look up at Louis, neither of them would have to acknowledge it. "Um, if it does, it wasn't intentional. If you're really patient, maybe you could teach me how to dance one day."
His breath caught and then rushed out of him. Louis didn't mean anything by it anyway, just some benign teasing. Still, his cheeks went from warm to burning like a brand, so that all he could do was mumble, "I would do it more if I was with... a friend." And then he laughed quietly, poking at Louis's waist. "What can I say, in some ways I'm a romantic at heart."
"Mmm," he said quietly, lost in thought for a moment. "I can teach you the waltz. You can show me some of the modern dances."
There was a slight uptick in Quentin's heartbeat and Louis looked at him. He couldn't see his face, so he spoke. "Are you okay?" He didn't seem in distress, but he wanted to be sure. "We're in the same bot then," he grinned. "We're friends now so we can do things, go exploring and see the city." The chuckle led him to believe that Quentin was okay, well, relatively speaking. "I bet you are," he smiled.
"If by 'modern dances' you mean the Muppet flail and some really bad interpretive dancing, I'm your man." Quentin laughed quietly. He knew his skills, and dancing wasn't one of them. "We could learn actual modern dancing from online sources, though, together if you promise not to judge my terrible coordination."
He shut his eyes for a moment, just long enough to slow his heart and his breathing. Of course just that small pull of his hair would send his thoughts into unhelpful directions. "Yeah, yeah. 'M totally fine, really. And that sounds perfect. Just palling around the city, finding stuff to get into." His hand settled back around Louis's waist, now very aware they were basically cuddling and not caring at all. Just like he didn't care about the cool radiating through his shirt. "Don't blame me. Your era started it anyway."
Louis laughed out loud. "You do make me laugh, Quentin. We're in the same boat again because my modern dance would be flailing and rocking back and forth. I like the idea of learning to dance off the computer though. No one can see how truly bad I am. So you have no reason to think for a minute that I would judge you."
He would have never thought that a quick tug of hair would have such an effect on the other man as his heartbeat evened out with his breathing. "We could paint the town red as they say." He paused. Maybe not the best metaphor coming from a vampire. "My era?" He raised his eyebrows, but was grinning. "I think romance has become lost with the passage of time. Courting and really dating too. People seem in such a rush to pair up, get married or move in. You can't really get to know someone that way let alone fall in love."
There was that laugh again, the rare one Quentin really liked. "An even playing field. It's pretty rare for me to find one of those these days."
"Or any color we want." He wasn't so wrapped up in his own thoughts not to hear that small pause, one that felt just a little weighted. "Hey, I still date. I'm a dating pro. Which, by the way, is not the same thing as being good at it. Tell me more about courting. What did you do? How did you woo?"
"Oh, so I'm in the presence of a dating pro. Well, I humbly bow to you." Louis chuckled and wondered how often Quentin dated if he was a pro.
"Oh, you don't want to hear that. It's outdated, old fashioned and out of style. But you want to know something? I don't think the fact that people want to be wooed, courted has changed. I see in movies and television where couples sleep together on the first or second date. That was scandalous back in my time. I'm not judging, but where does that leave the getting to know them, the anticipation, the desire, the flirting and longing gazes? Where does it leave the pleasure and passion when you finally become one?"
He chuckled a bit hollowly. "That really makes me sound old fashioned and outdated doesn't it? I haven't been on a date in two hundred years. I think I'm the one who isn't and wouldn't be good at it. Not that anyone would date me."
"Please don't. It's not the badge of honor it sounds like. Really, it just means I couldn't make it work with anyone." With one glaring difference that was the result of a quest that knocked him fifty years in the past. But Quentin didn't want to think about that just then.
The more Louis talked, the more he really did want to know. "There's a whole genre of fanfic surrounding what you just described. It's called the 'slow burn', and I've lost so many hours of sleep to them, when I'm not feeling impatient."
He should have paused. Should have bitten his lip. But no. Q leaned away, finally sitting up so he could look at Louis, search his gorgeous face and see it head on in the way he was sometimes brave about these things. "I would."
"Slow burn." He barely uttered the words. They were vaguely familiar for some reason. Perhaps he'd heard them on something he watched. Regardless, it did match what courting/wooing was - slow. There was no rush. Time was taken to get to know the one you wanted to be with.
His arms fell off to his side when Quentin shifted then sat up and looked at him. For a brief moment he thought he'd said or done something wrong, but then he spoke two words. He knew exactly what he meant, just as he knew he was being sincere. "You have to say that. You're right here and my...friend. You're being nice and I appreciate that, but I know how things are." Louis knew why he led a mostly solitary life.
As gentle as the rebuff was, Quentin still felt the sting of it. But he also recognized that it wasn't actually personal, but rather self-directed at Louis himself. He found Louis's hand and touched the cold back of it before taking it in his own, closing his fingers over his palm. "Let's make one thing very clear, okay? I don't have to say anything. I would date you, if that's what you wanted. I would figure out all the things you liked and take you to do them. I would court you and woo you and sweep you off your feet. But I'm also your friend, truly. I don't go crying on just anyone's shoulder. I get the importance of that, of having a friend, so if that's what you want from me, I'm overjoyed to be that for you. To be that with you. Really."
Louis sat in a near stunned silence as he listened to Quentin. His words were completely unexpected and he wasn't sure he was entirely understanding everything. That and his thoughts and gaze kept going to his hand being held securely, kindly like the cold had no effect whatsoever.
When he was finished Louis sat there a few moments processing everything, sure he would misinterpret something the wrong way. "I...I..." He changed the direction of his thoughts. "What about what you want? Are you saying you want to date me?" Just saying that out loud brought out so many emotions in the vampire for a myriad of reasons. "You will always have my friendship for as long as you want it. It's been a long time since I had friends or anything else. I confess this is a little overwhelming. Not in a bad way. I don't expect good things for myself."
Q sat through all of it, holding his tongue and his thoughts and really, really listening to what Louis was saying. One of the myriad of issues he'd had with his past relationships, be they of the friend variety or the romantic, was the fact that he was infamous for getting into his own head. And then staying there.
But he wouldn't do that this time. He would listen. Digest. Not fly from wild hope to the depths of disappointment. Quentin took a deep breath. "Yes, I would want to date you, but not if what you need most is a friend. And if you want to be friends first, to find out more about each other and then try to date later on, fantastic. I'd be totally on board. And not in spite of anything. Not the vampirism or the age difference or even the universe difference. You're sweet, funny, kind, and incredibly attractive." He flashed a grin. "Plus, our dinner dates would be relatively cheap. Most importantly, you should get to have good things, too."
Again, Louis let everything sink in. True, he wasn't used to such conversations and it was strange in a way. "You would want to date me or you do? Because those are two different things." A grin curved his lips. "The age difference? Really you can't be more than a few years older than me from my age when I was turned. Or are you telling me I look two hundred and twenty seven?" He teased.
"Thank you for all that you said. Makes me feel good." A sort of warm and fuzzy feeling that tickled along his skin almost making it feel like the spark that ran along it when he was mortal and around someone he was interested in. "What if I want both? To be friends and date. I can't say exactly how it would work or be, but I'd be willing to try if you are." Once more Louis grinned then laughed. "Cheap dinner dates, eh? Unless you order the most expensive thing on the menu." He was teasing again, but finding he liked doing so with Quentin. "I do and so do you. I don't know exactly what you're dealing with, but you deserve happiness."
Before he could get completely flustered, Quentin realized quickly he was being teased. He stuck his tongue out like the 27 year old he was. "You're a very hot two hundred and twenty-seven, and I absolutely want to date you. Happy?"
The happiness thing was kind of a matter of perspective and probably depended on who was asked and when. He liked to think he was deserving of happiness in a lot of ways, but did the weight of his sins, his cruelties cancel out a few of those ways. "There's a meme I'll show you, and it'll say, 'Both? Both. Both is good.' Which is all to say, yeah. Friends and dating. I'd really like to date a friend. I'd really like to date you."
Another bout of bravery hit him, which was all Quentin needed to lean in—hands still clasped between them—and kiss Louis's cheek, lightning quick.
Louis placed a hand over his face and shook it, but was grinning. He wasn't used to such compliments. "If I could blush I'd be very red right now." He let his hand slip away, but was smiling now. "Yes, I guess I am happy." And scared, nervous, excited and more.
"Both is our word now." It seemed to fit. The moment almost seemed to freeze. Friends dating. He could honestly say he didn't think it was something he'd ever do again. There were things about Quentin that appealed to him though. Things he recognized and that called out to him.
The quick kiss brought on a shy smile. "I'm sorry for the coldness. I'll drink before you come over from now on." He dared to reach out with his free hand and run his fingers through Quentin's hair. It was as soft as he imagined.
"You have—" Q's breath caught and his eyes shut briefly; he had a particular weakness for his hair being played with. When he looked at Louis again, it was with a spectacular blush. "You have nothing to apologize for, honestly. I grew up in Connecticut. I like the cold. If you want to drink before I come over, that's entirely up to you."
Leaning in again, Quentin reached for a much longer lock of Louis's hair and gently tucked it back behind his ear, trailing the shell of it with his fingertips before tracing the line of the other's neck. Sure, it was chilly, but the effect wasn't nearly as unnerving and his both-friend seemed to think. Q resolved then and there to dissuade Louis from that idea. "And since we're going to be friends-who-date, how about we go down to the pier and walk along the beach this upcoming Saturday night?"
Louis watched Quentin's reaction and the blush that spread over his cheeks.He liked his hair being played with. It was the second time this evening he got a reaction from it. The vampire tucked that gem away like a piece of treasure he'd found. It wasn't what he would expect any human to say, but he knew Quentin meant it. "Maybe I'll just surprise you every time." Though for the time being he would probably drink until he became more comfortable with things and in their new relationship. Was it a relationship? Did the other still want to date others?
He became a little nervous when Q's fingers trailed down over his skin. The touch was warm and gentle, sending a little spark through him. He wanted to pull Quentin's hand back to his face but didn't. "I'd like that a lot. Quentin, I don't expect you to keep late crazy hours all the time because of me. I want to put that out there. You need your rest and time to do other things and all that. At least in the fall the sun is down between five and six," smiled a little. As if 'this' would still be going on then. Louis had no expectations, he couldn't.
"I like surprises." Score one for Quentin's wit. He kind of wanted to bury his face in his hands, but that meant looking away from Louis, which was the last thing he wanted to do. It also meant he'd have to stop touching him, and that wasn't a thing he wanted to stop doing.
"Maybe not all the time, but sleep and I tend to have a weird relationship, so sometimes crazy hours are all I can keep." He picked up Louis's hand and kissed the back of it. "But I really appreciate you putting that out there. I gotta say, though, I can't wait for the longer nights. More things are open, since the hours don't change. And we have the weekends, at the very least."
"I believe a weird sleeping relationship sometimes is a point for me, the vampire who sleeps until sun down. Right now that isn't until well after nine which can cramp one's dating life." He laughed, but it tapered off when the back of his hand was kissed. "You're very sweet, Quentin." Truth be known, the man was blowing his mind.
"Do you..." He let his words trail off, then smiled. "I'm so glad you came over. Is it Saturday yet?" He grinned.
Q ducked his head, his expression edging on shy, but more pleased than anything else. "So are you. It's not everyone who'd be okay with someone coming over just to dump their emotional nonsense on them. I mean, I would totally be okay with it if you needed it, but not in, like, a reciprocal way. Just in... the way that both-friends have." He huffed a small laugh, kind of wishing he could just shut up for five seconds. (And hoping Louis didn't feel the same.) "I swear I have better elocution than this. Usually."
The way Louis cut himself off intrigued Quentin, to the point where he grinned and said, "Almost, but not quite. It can't come soon enough, if you ask me," but also gave into his curiosity, asking, "What were you going to ask? Just then."
He slid his fingers beneath Quentin's chin and lifted it so he could look in his eyes. "I meant it when I said I'm here anytime you need someone to listen, talk to or vent, whatever. I don't consider it dumping anything, okay?" His touch lingered for a few moments before he pulled his fingers away. "I think you're doing just fine." Louis himself wasn't always so eloquent so he got it.
Louis was sure this was all a dream. He'd waked at sun down with pleasant memories of it. How else could it be happening? "Only a few more days." He paused when asked what he was going to say. He'd cut himself off because he didn't want to bring the moment down. "Well," he began, looking down, "do you think your friends will be okay with you dating me? Or do you think it will freak them out or upset them?" It might happen in the movies, but in real life, he didn't know of any vampire and human dating.
Just that one touch, and Q was ready to chase after it, wanted to feel the chill of those fingers in other places. It took a great deal of effort to steer his thoughts away, and he had no doubt his face was doing something sappy and dopey.
The expression held until Louis voiced his doubts, at which point it hardened.
Not in anger, but resolve. Eliot probably wouldn't be all that thrilled, but right at that moment, Quentin wasn't all that interested in Eliot's opinion. "Don't get me wrong, I love what few friends I've made here, but I'm way more invested in what I think about me dating a vampire than anyone else. And I am fully on board with me dating a vampire, if you couldn't tell. Look, the people here are pretty open and accepting. Just, y'know, don't use me as a human juice box, and everything's gonna be fine."
"That's good to know." It was reassuring that Quentin wouldn't let what his friends thought affect him. Louis only had one...maybe two friends if he counted Lestat, and Quentin was the other.
"I'd never do that. I would never drink from you or anyone without permission." Yes, there had been times he did the exact opposite, but here, with blood provided, he would never do so. "It's getting late. You need sleep and sun up will be here before I know it." He couldn't wait for spring and summer to be gone. "Can I text or call you tomorrow?" Reluctantly, knowing very well that Louis's logic was sound, Quentin squeezed the other man's hand, then stood. "I know you wouldn't. I trust you. And you're right. I still have to be relatively punctual tomorrow, even if I wish I could stay until sunrise."
He leaned down and kissed Louis's cheek. "I'll DM you my number. And I'll see on Saturday. Hey, um, just so you know: you're really amazing. I can't wait to find out more about you."
Trust. A human trusting a vampire after two or three meetings was strange. Louis knew what the other man meant though. "Okay, thank you."
He walked Quentin to the door then paused. He took his face between his hands and pressed a kiss to his forehead lingering a brief moment before pulling back. "I think you're amazing too and I'm looking forward to learning all about you. I had such a great time tonight. Sleep well, Quentin and I'll see you soon." He closed the door and smiled to himself. Maybe there was an actual reason he'f been brought to this place.