nurse_temple (nurse_temple) wrote in chances_rpg, @ 2021-12-28 00:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | !gamewideplot, ~ex mcu: claire temple |
Who: Clare Temple and her ghost (Matt Murdock)
What: Getting things out
When: Friday Night
Where: Claire’s apartment
There was no such thing as a ‘quiet’ night at any Emergency Room in the city, but holidays usually took the cake, Christmas Eve being one of the more depressing. It was hard enough trying to hold onto the physicality of human life, but people who ended up in the hospital on that day were especially hard cases for the nurse.
Not to mention, that despite everything her coworkers and her new friends here tried to do to make it a little bit more like home, it just wasn’t. She missed her family. She missed New York. She even missed the asshole who made her run in the first place (that was a complicated relationship she really shouldn’t be revisiting anytime soon).
Stepping into the apartment late Christmas Eve, Claire removed her coat and tossed her keys into the cup by the door. She had the next day off, which was a rare blessing, and she planned on sleeping through most of it. Maybe she could get up and see what her friends were up to, anyone like her who didn’t have anywhere to go.
Or maybe she’d just grab a bottle of whiskey and watch It’s A Wonderful Life on repeat. That didn’t sound like a bad idea, either.
----
That felt weird.
Matt knew he wasn't...dead? But there was something that didn't feel like himself. Something shaky, almost. And it took him a few moments to fully materialize near the window in an apartment. Claire Temple's apartment. Okay. This was different. It sank in slowly, the realization, the feeling of "just visiting". He wasn't meant to be here long.
The young nurse didn't feel any different despite the obvious change in location. Still wound up tighter than a tic, still perpetually exhausted. It smelled of the holidays, which probably lended to that exhaustion.
He honestly wasn't sure where to start. Probably by making sure he hadn't scared her to death. "Okay, don't panic, don't scream, I'm not dying or anything this time I swear!"
----
She’d gone to the kitchen to get a glass of water before bed, exhausted and turning just in time to see none other than Matt Murdoc here. In her place. Standing there and telling her not to scream, despite the fact that he had showed up out of fucking nowhere and- yeah. Yeah. That was very much in character for him, why was she even surprised?
“Okay…you’re here. When did you get here?” She thought he had to have come through like all the others, right? Question was, why did he sneak into her apartment instead of introducing himself on the network? And why did he seem just as surprised as she did?
“So you’re what? Here to tell me my life’s in danger again? That we need to get out?” She didn’t even seem phased. Just tired.
---
Okay, that was fair. "I...don't think I'm really here." That would sound crazy. But that was honestly how he felt. Like something wasn't adding up. "I'm not here for long, I don't think." Wherever 'here' was?
"I know you're angry. You deserve to be. I dragged you into this without any solid way out and that wasn't fair to you." She had every right to yell at him. Matt knew that as well as anyone.
---
“What? What are you talking about?” She wasn’t really in the mood for games, but she’d set the glass down on the counter as she came toward him, studying the man in front of her.
“Angry? That’s one word for it,” Claire glared at him. She wasn’t yelling. She was furious about him showing up on Christmas Eve with no announcement to what? Apologize? Goddamnit if it made any sense.
“You uprooted my life, Matt. Risked my life. My family!” She took a breath. “And for what? So you could go off and almost get yourself killed over and over again? Why do you do it?”
That was a dumb question. She knew why he did it. The same reason she did it- the same reason she took care of people like him. But there was still a little resentment there, something she was never quite able to let go of. Not yet.
---
At her questioning of his arrival, Matt could only shrug. He didn't know why or even how he was here. But he knew, instinctively, it was for her. And that he didn't have long.
"Sit down, you're working yourself up," which was obvious. And with good reason. But he wasn't sure who to call when the medical professional was the one in need of help. He sighed deeply, perching on the edge of her couch. "It was uproot your life or let them kill you. Do you really think I could let it be the second one?"
Why? Why did he do it? She had to know. "I do it because I can. Because if I don't, the things I'm fighting back against will continue. You know that. I think, deep down, you know that. I promised myself when I learned my abilities that I would use them to do something good. I just...sometimes end up in a position where it's also something bad and I don't have a way to stop that."
---
She had a thing or two to say to him when he told her to sit down, but she bit her tongue and glared at him instead before her face softened some and she did what he said, walking over to the couch and sitting in it, her eyes studying the man in front of her, wondering what he meant by not really here.
She wanted to counter him and tell him they wouldn’t have tried to kill her if he hadn’t done something in the first place, but they both knew that what he did was the right thing. And in her gut, she couldn’t have changed any of that. As mad as she was, she was just as driven to protect people as he was. Maybe that’s why he frustrated her.
“Yes, but how many loved ones get sacrificed for it? Don’t you do enough good protecting people as a lawyer?” She knew the answer to that, too. Don’t you do enough good as a nurse?. It was her turn to sigh. “You know what? Don’t answer that.”
At least she was cracking a slight smile as she said it, sitting back and watching him carefully.
—
Matt’s smile was small and hesitant as he shrugged. “We both know the system is broken. Money in the right hands will move mountains.” He loved the law. He always had. He’d been working almost his entire life to become an attorney. But it wasn’t perfect, not in the world they lived in. He could work day and night to get the good people out of prison and the bad people into it, but it wasn’t enough.
“Look… I’m sorry. I truly am. I can’t change what happened. You saved my life, and that should have been enough, and instead I turned your entire world upside down. It wasn’t what I wanted for you, I wouldn’t want that for anyone. It’s why I wear the mask, I don’t want the people I care about taking the fall for me.” But they always would, wouldn’t they? It was a cycle he couldn’t break. “I needed you safe. And I couldn’t do that with you in the city.”
They weren’t in the city now. Instinctively he knew that. The sounds and scents were vastly different.
—
“Yeah. And now I’m here. And still surrounded by people with abilities doing dumb shit because they think t’s the right thing to do.” She didn’t seem too upset by it, realizing as they spoke she had wondered if he was the reason she ended up here instead of back home. Something about karma or whatever.
Even if she knew that wasn’t true. Not by a longshot. Matt would never condemn anyone to atone for his sins. He’d never have made her leave if he thought this could be the result.
“….I chose to help. I pulled you out of that dumpster because I knew it was the right thing to do,” she’d gotten herself into this mess. “I made a choice. And I’d do it again.” As she said it out loud, she realized she meant it. Strange as it was. “Even if it brought me here. If it helped just one other person- if you could help those people, then…then it was worth it.”
—
His smile softened, listening to the intensity of her voice. It was a good part of what had kept him coming back. That and her steady hand with a needle, but that wasn’t the point. Her passion and drive to do what was right, to help others… “You’ve got so much good in your heart, Claire. I don’t think pulling me out of a dumpster and keeping my dumb ass alive is what brought you here… I don’t know what here is, exactly,” he admitted, pausing to listen to the sounds around them. For the moment, at least, she didn’t seem to be in danger. “But I think you were picked to be here for a reason. They’ll need you. These super powered idiots who forget they’re only human sometimes.”
And yes, he knew sometimes that had included him. He was no Avenger, but he still struggled with the whole powers vs. day job thing. And thinking himself invincible when he very much wasn’t. “Promise me that no matter what trouble this place brings, you’ll look out for yourself? Promise me you’ll still take care of you?” He knew his time was limited here. He didn’t want to waste any of it and he needed to know the sacrifices she’d made for him weren’t for nothing. That she’d go on and keep living her life for herself.
—
She actually snorted at the part about keeping his dumb ass alive. He had no idea how lucky he was that she was the one that found him that day. Or maybe he did. Whatever it was, she knew better than to argue. “I don’t think any of us really know what this place is or why we’re here. But there are plenty that need help, that’s for sure.” And like it or not, Claire was getting used to keeping all sorts of Avenger-level humans alive.
“I don’t really know if there’s rhyme or reason here, though… Then again, there wasn’t much of that in New York, either.”
There was a promise she hesitated to make. She stared at him, biting the inside of her lip as she thought about it. “I’ll be fine,” she could at least say that “I’m a big girl, Matt. You know that more than anyone.”
—
“We lived in a world where aliens could invade and everyone would pay attention but a crime ring could go on right in front of the mayor’s nose and no one says a word. I don’t think rhyme or reason matters much to us,” he reminded her with a wry expression.
He sighed, tilting his head to pay attention to her breathing and pulse. She wasn’t lying, exactly. But there was definite hesitation. “You’re a survivor. I know that much. But I also know what it tends to cost you and you deserve more than that.” Leaning in, he touched her cheek lightly, forcing her to focus. “No matter how much other people need you, you can’t pour from an empty cup, Claire.”
—
Okay, that drew a laugh out and she sighed, wishing she had that whiskey in her hand about now. “Yeah. Yeah, good point. It went right out the window the day a big wormhole opened up in the sky.”
It wasn’t the first time someone had called her a survivor. She could distinctively remember her grandmother commenting on it throughout the years. Claire wasn’t anything if not tough and tenacious- maybe that’s why she was so good at what she did. But he had a point. She hated it, but it was a point.
“Says the man who is always running on empty.” She paused. “But you’re right. As much as I hate to admit it.”
---
Now it was Matt's turn to laugh because she wasn't wrong. "Yeah but I'm not here to lecture me. I'm here about you." He leaned back and sighed. "I don't always make the best choices. I try to do the right thing because it's been ingrained in me since I was a little kid. But sometimes doing the right thing gets done the wrong way. I don't want that for the people I care about."
Claire was the sort of person a man laid down their life for. She made you believe there was something worth fighting for. Claire had no super powers. She wasn't law enforcement or even behind the scenes law enforcement like he was. The things Claire did and fought for, she did it because it was the right thing to do. "You can't ask me to stop what I'm doing and then go work eighteen hours taking care of the people I save each night. I think you know that."
---
She smirked at him from across the room, not arguing because there wasn’t anything to argue about. They were at an impasse. They were both guilty of draining themselves to take care of others- but she would probably be saying the exact same thing to him in the given situation. That he had to take care of himself and that he wasn’t good to anyone dead.
Goddamnit.
“So is that why you’re here? To lecture me on my overtime?” She was teasing him, not really think that was the reason. But something about him there didn’t feel natural. It felt like he wasn’t really there, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on why or how.
“....You’re not really here, are you?”
---
He wasn't, was he? He could feel it, a pull trying to take him back. That was odd. "Of course I'm not here," he replied with a little laugh of his own. "You can't take the Devil of Hell's Kitchen out of Hell's Kitchen, Claire."
"I told you I'm not here for long. I'm not sure how I'm here at all. I feel real enough, but… I don't think I am." What he couldn't answer for her was why he was there. "I'm sorry. I truly am. About everything. About being here, even."
---
“Don’t,” Claire stopped him as h e tried to apologize. “I know why you do it. And as pissed off as I might be sometimes, I’d be a hypocrite if I put this all on you, wouldn’t I?” She knew that. Even as exhausted as she was, that much was pretty clear.
The part about him not really being there? Now that was a whole other issue in itself- something Claire wasn’t sure she wanted to overthink tonight.
She sat back, staring at him. Then, quietly, she cracked a smile and seemed to accept what he was saying. She needed rest. But she also needed to just accept this. And forgive him. And herself. This was where she was now. She chose this.
“Thank you, Matt…I swear to god, if you fade in front of me, the next time I see you I’m going to slap you.”
---
Matt's smile turned into a tiny smirk. "Do you want me to go into the hallway or something, then? Because I don't know how this is going to go down but I feel like fading is an option."
It wasn't something he could explain if she asked. Just a pulling sensation in the pit of his stomach. And the sense that something final had happened. "I guess you just get to slap me then." And that would be the last coherent thing Claire heard because he faded into nothing, leaving no trace behind.
---
She had just opened her mouth to retaliate when it happened and then, she was left sitting there. Staring at an empty space that once held Matt Murdock. IT hadn’t been a bad conversation. Claire had to agree that he was right. She had to go easy before she burnt out.
She had to forgive herself. She’d already forgiven him.
But right now, the nurse was going to need that whiskey. And Matt was definitely going to sting when she saw him again- whether he remembered this encounter or not.