InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "make us whole"

With a broad, utterly unrepentant grin, Alex tugged them even more quickly toward the bedroom. "Sorry to say, I left my shame in my other fanny pack. Wait, no, I'm not sorry at all!" He pulled Stiles in for a kiss as they crossed the threshold, and Roey took just that moment to let out an annoyed-sounding huff from the bed. Alex started laughing all over again, head falling on to Stiles's shoulder. "Okay, but I'm actually sorry, Roey. Didn't realize you were napping."


Laughing, Stiles' hand settled on Alex's back when he leaned into his shoulder. "The lies will start showing on your face. You're not sorry at all. Go on, Roey, I know how much you love Die Hard." Roey actually jumped off the bed and left the room right as he said it, making him laugh all over again. Twisting back, Stiles caught the edge of the door to push it closed before turning back to Alex and pulling him back into the kiss Roey had interrupted. "She has no sense of personal space."


Another slew of giggling was effectively silenced by Stiles's mouth, although he managed to separate just long enough to say, "I know the feeling. At least where you're concerned." Since they didn't actually stop moving during any of this, it didn't take any time at all before the back of Alex's legs hit the side of the bed, and gravity took care of the rest. Fortunately, they'd wound up in this position enough that neither one of them ended up with a concussion or a bevy of new bruises when Alex pulled Stiles down on top of him. A wide grin nearly split his face. It didn't seem possible to be this happy, but that's just how he found himself on the daily. The guy in his arms had a lot to do with it. "Yippee-ki-yay, motherf—"


Stiles was still laughing as Alex pulled him down with him, and when he kicked off with John McClane's signature catchphrase, he couldn't resist smothering his mouth with his fingers. "Shhh – you're not supposed to use bad words, Alex." He couldn't argue with the point about personal space though, considering it pretty much went both ways. Replacing his fingers with his mouth he went right back to kissing his boyfriend, shifting a little in the process to better align his body to Alex's. Maybe he was a bit addicted, but who could blame him? This might even trump seeing the end of Die Hard.

Who was he kidding, of course it did.

Further laughter swiftly became a moan as Alex felt every part of himself light up—not only at all the parts currently connected, but everything else. Stiles had that effect on him. It spurred him to pull at the back of Stiles's shirt, and he lost no time in letting his fingertips trace the lines and shapes he knew in his dreams. They weren't all like what was playing out now, but a delightful number of them tried their best to replicate these moments. Those were among his favorite. Reality was far better, though, even with the taste of pizza and salad and soda.


Yeah, Alex liked real life a whole lot more.


He always loved knowing he could inspire that sound, though he had to chuckle lightly at the way Alex pulled at his shirt. "You're so impatient," he teased, even as he shifted far enough to pull it over his head and chuck it somewhere off to the side. It was fine, he probably needed to tidy his room anyway. That was very much a 'for later' problem, though. Completely contradicting his claim that Alex was the impatient one he used the opportunity while they were part way separated to push his boyfriend's shirt up, revealing skin just begging to be touched, which he immediately did.


It took a little bit more wiggling for Alex's shirt to follow suit, especially since he kept getting distracted by the feel of very nice hands on his skin. His words came out haltingly, not at all aided by trying to help get on his boyfriend's fewer clothes level or the frissons of pleasure moving up and down his spine. "I don't— I don't know if you realize this, but you don't exactly inspire a lot of that particular virtue when you go around with your— with your thumb licking and pretty eyes and the whole you-ness of it all. It's frankly a miracle I'm not all over you 24/7."


"Please," Stiles scoffed. "I'm the innocent party here. You sitting there, tipping your head back pretending you don't know what you're doing to me." His attention turned to the long line of the very neck he was talking about, nuzzling at it before trailing a line of kisses down from his jaw. He was going to come back and make more arguments about the points Alex had made – that had 100% been his intention – but now he was thoroughly distracted. "You know I'd have no complaints about that. Might get a little bit inconvenient eventually but we'd make it work."


Okay, really, could Alex be blamed for the little shiver and much louder whine he let out when he had Stiles's mouth doing that? There wasn't a court in any cosmos who would dare. At any rate, none of it stopped Alex from getting his hand in his boyfriend's hair and tugging gently while the other moved to Stiles's hip. He loved the way every part of Stiles seemed to be made to fit against his fingers and palms and lips and tongue. There was time enough for all that in a bit. "I'm absolutely into project planning for the eventuality. Must be you rubbing off on me."


He smiled against skin at the whine, but it was karma that Alex chose that exact moment to tug at his hair, pulling a sound from the back of his throat he had no control over. That had absolutely become a weakness of his. He slid one hand over the bare skin of his chest and around to his arm, gripping gently as he leaned his forehead into the opposite collar bone, shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter. "There's a joke in there somewhere, but I am way too mature to go there."


His thumb hooked into the waistband of Stiles's jeans, but he had to take a beat, just long enough to pull back and raise an eyebrow at him. "Wow, you were able to resist that low hanging fruit? I mean, there was a tiny bit of innuendo intended. I was literally bracing myself for a snarky remark, but now somebody had to go and get all grown up on me." Alex wrinkled his nose, then nipped lightly at his boyfriend's jaw. "Color me impressed."


"Woah woah woah, let's not get carried away with the grown up talk here." That sounded way too much like hard work. Which was kind of a stupid thought to have considering all the things he was doing that were steering him headlong into being an actual adult. Still weird to think about. He was meant to be listening in on the police scanner and opening his dad's mail. Solving supernatural puzzles and learning how to control mountain ash. Not getting closer and closer to an actual career, that felt too weird. But laying on his bed in the early evening making out with his boyfriend was a nice alternative to thinking about grown up priorities, so he chose instead to think about things like Alex's finger pulling at his belt loop, and the way he nipped at his jaw.


"What can I say? Sometimes I amaze even myself." He slid his hand down the length of Alex's arm, twining their fingers together and bringing them up by his head on the mattress as he leaned in to kiss him again.


"I'm always amazed by you," Alex murmured; he'd aimed for silly, but it came out real and true and blatantly loving. Curling his fingers around the ones now at his head, he smiled up at Stiles and raised his head to brush a soft kiss across his lips. "I'm also amazed by the fact that just when I think we're two seconds shy of tearing each other's clothes off, you go and look at me a certain way, and then i'm reduced to mushy goo. You do that. You goo me."


This time when he lowered his head it was to rest against Alex's shoulder, biting his lip both to stop a laugh and because he was unreasonably pleased by those words. "Alex, I love you, but I don't know how I feel about 'you goo me' being any kind of romantic expression between us. Just saying." Still, once he'd got his face under control he lifted his head again, giving his boyfriend a fond look. "Going by your earlier statement, we're two seconds shy of tearing each other's clothes off 24/7. No complaints about that, for the record." It was probably part of the reason he hated all that adulting he'd been thinking about earlier – it just meant less time with Alex.


"Yeah, with the benefit of a few second's hindsight, it's not at all my best." Even slightly embarrassed, Alex chuckled, but nothing could bank the warmth in his chest or keep his fingers from carding through Stiles's thick, soft hair. "Reason number 725 why I'm not one of the lyricists for the band." He didn't mind his place at all; in fact, he was quite happy with it. A few classes during the day, band practice most evenings, pick-up gigs around the city, posting new content, and then time with his guy. Increasingly precious, now that school was starting back for both of them soon. "And I love you too. Obviously. Now, what do you say we get to some more of that clothes tearing off? Or maybe just hasty removal? I… I want you. I want all of you."


"Hey, you've proven you're not half bad with the lyrics plenty of times. I remember more than a few impromptu lines that hit the mark just fine." He still remembered one of those early times with great fondness, actually. It was after the Nogitsune had been there, when Alex had insisted on seeing him and then not let Stiles wallow alone. The words 'we'll be here, your home away from home' were some he knew he could never forget.


But Alex had a point of getting back to things which were otherwise derailed thanks to any one of the many tangents his thoughts went on. He moved til he was sitting up with one leg either side of Alex's thighs, reaching for the button on his jeans. "Anyway, we don't need you to be a lyricist. You're the ideas guy, clearly."


A tinge of pink lit up Alex's cheeks, and it was his turn to tuck his face into the side of Stiles's neck. There, it felt safe to whisper, "They're for you. The words were all for you."


It was true. Always had been. Back when life seemed to be one hit right ever another for the guy in his arms, and Alex knew his own feelings went far beyond friendship. He'd kind of hoped Stiles might feel the same way, but he'd never really believed it would happen. If all he had was friendship, he could have been happy with it. (A pleasant lie he tried to tell himself over and over all those months ago.) Now, though—


Oh, now.


His hands skimmed across Stiles's chest and skated across his sides until they got to his hips, yet Alex couldn't keep his eyes off the wicked curve of his boyfriend's smile. "Mmhmm, so many ideas. Fortunately, a lot of them involve both us in maximum states of undress, which is totally the trajectory we seem to be on." A laugh burbled out of him giddily. "Oh, my god, Stiles, you're so fu-reakin' hot."


If he wasn't already getting worked up by the progressively increasing state of undress of his boyfriend, hands moving over his chest and settling at his hips kind of took care of that. "Imagine how awkward it would be if I said I had other ideas right now," he teased as he got the zip down and carried on in his quest to get currently-hated jeans off Alex's hips, which required a bit of a joint effort. It also disproved the teasing, but worth it. He could feel the telltale warmth that signaled his own skin turning pink, biting his lip at the way Alex said the words. Feeling remotely self-conscious was a small price to pay for hearing him laugh that way. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to not say 'takes one to know one' right now?"


Alex let out the world's tiniest whines of protest at the very idea of pumping the brakes, but he knew he didn't actually have to worry because he was losing another layer and also encouraging Stiles off with his. "I'm so impressed by all the maturity you're showing tonight! You're two for two, and if I don't get your pants off right now, I can't be held responsible for my actions."


With that said, he got hold of Stiles's button and fly, and he, too, assisted with their expedient removal. So what if his fingers trembled a little in an overwhelming mix of desire and desperation? They were barely off before he caught Stiles around the shoulders and pulled him in for a blistering and long-lasting kiss.


"I am the most mature, it's true." He couldn't get remotely close to saying that with a straight face but that was fine, where Alex was concerned he didn't actually need to pretend either way. All that maturity also meant he didn't even tease about Alex's enduring impatience, kicking the pants the rest of the way off before he was pulled back down again. "Is it weird that I kind of want to find out what those actions would be?" he asked as he finally pulled back from a kiss he felt right down to his toes. Teasing him about any kind of impatience wasn't really fair when his hands were already moving of their own accord, exploring all that bare skin like it was brand new to him.


Alex was a little dazed himself after planting such a big one on his boyfriend, but not so much so that he couldn't laugh and grin up at Stiles. "Not at all weird, especially since I'm a little curious myself. Honestly, I could see it going one of two ways: either I'm going to successfully rip off your clothes and ruin them—with my luck it'll be one of your favorites—or I'm going to dislocate my fingers in the attempt. The third less likely option is I don't even wait until you're naked before I'm all over you. Which sounds sexy in theory, but then my brain gives me things like, 'well, what about chafing?' and 'think of the laundry!'"


"This is why you're the brains of the operation. No one wants extra laundry." Was he teasing? A little. But he doubted Alex would be all that surprised. "I guess it's a good thing that isn't a situation we have to worry about, huh? Aren't you lucky I'm just so agreeable to your demands." It wasn't phrased as a question because he wasn't expecting an answer to such a nonsense statement. He nosed at the side of Alex's neck again, going back to kissing what might have become a bit of a favorite spot to turn his attention based on the reaction he got. "Is this the part where I tell you I like you better than Die Hard? Don't let it go to your head."


If that was all it took to be labeled "the brains" of anything, Alex thought a lot of people were probably underestimating their importance in the grand scheme of their respective operations. He didn't say that, though, nor did he feel particularly inclined to agree that he was, indeed, lucky, even if it was absolutely true. No, he didn't have to say anything, not when Stiles's lips were right there, pulling a humming moan from Alex's throat. His hands wandered restlessly over Stiles's back and into hair—body also moving against him—as a breathy little laugh followed the latest pronouncement. "Fortunately for you, my head is mostly gone right now anyway. It's just full of liking you. Loving you. Just being with you. 'S enough for me."


"Hmm," Stiles hummed against Alex's collarbone, full of mock contemplation at those frankly really big words that never failed to floor him. But he feigned nonchalance in the face of his current plan of getting Alex to make more of that sound, because he felt it right to his core. "I'm not saying I like your head being gone. But." It was also maybe a tiny bit of a goal he'd just set himself, in that arbitrary way he occasionally got an idea and immediately set himself a target. He didn't see there being any real complaints.


A few more of his brain cells held on just long enough for Alex to giggle breathlessly. "Anymore talking about heads, an' I'm gonna— Well, I'm already pretty singlerar—singulararl— very focused on where this 's going, so no danger in getting sidetracked." He grinned down at Stiles, loving and silly and with obvious intent. All they'd done so far was make out, and his heart was already speed metal drumming in his chest. He decided it was one of the best feeling in the entire world. The actual best, of course, was the love he had for all the people in his life—most of all the guy in his arms. "All of you, Stiles. That's what I want."


It was a pretty nice feeling, knowing he was the cause of that smile he was so completely fond of. It took over Alex's whole face and just made him want to shift back up there and kiss him all over again – he didn't have a problem, he could stop any time he wanted – but he was also enjoying the way he was making Alex lose the ability to say words. That was a fun new development as he let his own singular focus (he resisted the urge to say it correctly, now was not the time for that level of mockery) carry his attention further south, trailing a path with his mouth. Fingers curling in the elastic at Alex's waist he glanced up at those words, smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. "I think I said something once about Alex gets what Alex wants, right?"




"The power. The power!" Any attempt to cackle was completely undercut by the desperate wiggle of Alex's hips as he encouraged the removal of his last layer. His next attempt extended to not being distracted by the curve of Stiles's mouth; he'd never not want to kiss them when they were smirked like that. "Dangerous," he muttered nonsensically, then laughed at himself and reached down to run both hands through his boyfriend's hair. "You're the best kind of danger, though. The kind that makes my heart race. The kind I run to, because when I'm with you, the little voice in my head goes quiet. You give me peace, Stiles. A place where I can just be me—with you—and not worry about the rest of the universe for a while."


They'd already made jokes about things going to his head, so Stiles bit back those words around a poorly disguised laugh. Which wasn't difficult when he was completely focused on the little wiggle of hips as he helped him the rest of the way towards getting off the last of his clothes. Settling half beside him and leaning on one elbow, he trailed his other hand over a bare thigh. At the murmured dangerous, he glanced up at his boyfriend, having been completely distracted there for a second. Who could blame him? It didn't seem like quite the right moment for words like that, and yet from Alex, nothing like that ever seemed out of place. He had some kind of magical talent for that. "I like that. Knowing I can do that for you." That was its own kind of talent, and he'd keep that one close.


Alex shivered, goosebumps following in the wake of Stiles's touch, but his smile was soft and his cheeks pink. "I'm not sure where that came from. Heck, I don't know where half my thoughts come from most of the time." A feeling he knew his boyfriend could relate to, and not just in the ADHD level (on Stiles's part at least). He set all of this aside in favor of lifting a hand and trailing it across a strong shoulder and up to the side of his love's face. As much as he wanted to let all the compliments filling his head come pouring out of him, Alex knew they made Stiles uncomfortable. Instead, he said the only thing that mattered: "I love you."


Almost without being aware of it, he leaned surreptitiously into the touch to his face. These moments kept shifting between them as easily as those thoughts of unknown origin his boyfriend was talking about. But he didn't mind, he never had. At some point over the weeks and months they'd been together, he realized Alex had become someone he just felt comfortable with. He didn't find himself worrying about the things he said or did. And even if he did, he just as quickly figured out that it had been for nothing. His smile was soft in the face of those words, a look reserved solely for Alex any more. "I love you, too."


With those echoed words firmly set in his heart, Alex drew Stiles to him in another long kiss. The kind that started out sweet and soon became a tangle of tongues and panting breaths. It rekindled the kind of desperation that made him push at the waistband of Stiles's boxers. There were places of skin going untouched by Stiles's skin, which was suddenly intolerable. The sooner they remedied it, the better. He'd meant what he'd asserted earlier: he wanted all of his boyfriend that night, in whatever form it took.


Stiles kind of laughed in the space between one kiss and the next, when Alex went right back to being impatient again. Which he didn't take any issue with, because with that little interlude he was beginning to get a bit impatient himself. He only pulled away long enough to actually get the last of his clothes off without doing something awkward like elbowing Alex in the face, before sinking right back into the kinds of kisses he was unashamedly addicted to, a needy sound stealing its way out of his throat at the friction of their bodies aligned.


If Alex ever had to go to his grave again, at least it would be with the memory of these moments, and the all encompassing feeling of having Stiles's laughter in his ears and against his lips. In point of fact, it was the everything about being with Stiles that he loved so much. He grinned and kissed and laughed and moaned and just delighted in the uncomplicated time of being together. He also may have gotten just a little carried away with a particularly choice patch of skin just below Stiles's collarbone, but he would later blame it on the addictive taste of salt-sweet skin and the gorgeous sounds his boyfriend was making.


(They wouldn't actually discover the mark until later, and only Alex being expressly forbidden from using the S-word kept him from tripping over himself with [giggling] apologies.)


Any concern about uncovered marks borne of his boyfriend's enthusiasm would be accepted as a wholly reasonable trade off for how good that felt in the moment. He was completely lost to every feeling Alex inspired in him, from that single minded attention to even the most simple touch. In his desire to pull him in closer he ended up rolling them sideways on the bed, laughing as his side hit the blankets beneath them, reeling him in with his arms tight around him. He didn't really know what he wanted in that moment besides having him right there.


Their new angle made it oh, so easy for Alex to tangle his legs up in Stiles's all the more. Sure, it made it slightly more difficult to use both hands, but it was worth it to hear the laughter and watch the twinkle in his boyfriend's eyes. There was a lot he could do with one hand, though, like follow every line and angle, reminding himself of which spots made Stiles shiver and which ones made him dive in to kiss Alex like he couldn't get enough. Like maybe Alex was the only source of air he'd ever need. It's what he liked to imagine at any rate. Why imagine, though, when he had way more reality right there than he sometimes knew what to do with. He slid his hand ever lower and lower, keeping his fingertips feather-light and completely at odds with his clear intention.


It was so easy to lose himself in these moments. He might not have thought it possible, but it seemed simple for all his usually loud and varied thoughts to be effectively silenced by the simple fact of Alex. He didn't know when he'd become so good at that, but he wasn't complaining. As hands he was so fond of wandered, his mouth moved from mouth to jaw, less consideration going into what he was doing and more on how Alex was making him feel. Especially when he seemed to know exactly where to touch for a flush to break out over his skin and pull needy sounds from his throat.


Even if the only thing Alex wanted to do was listen to all the beautiful music Stiles made, as soon as his mouth was free, he couldn't hold back his own melody of gasps, moans, and whimpers. A shiver went through him when Stiles's tongue found a particularly tender bundle of nerves, almost at the same time his hand finally closed around where his boyfriend was hot and hard against both their stomachs. He loved the way Stiles reacted when he did this, every single time somehow new and different, even though he tried to memorize everything about the experience. The flutter of the dark spray of lashes, the way Stiles parted his kiss-red lips, the sound—sometimes a gasp, sometimes a groan: all of it perfect. They were a couple of months shy of a year, and sometimes it felt like no time at all, while others it seemed like they'd always been in this.


Asking for nothing to ever change was way too much, and Alex didn't want that anyway. He knew in his heart of hearts they would only get better. The only way they had was up and through.


His lips parted against Alex's jaw as his fingers closed around him, hips pressing in closer to that touch of their own accord, a cut off sound warring with an exhale. His grip on his body only tightened, pulling him in further, legs tangled together and needing him closer still, as though that were a possibility at this point. "Alex, I want –" The sentence had no ending; he didn't have the words to say what he wanted, because he barely knew himself. He didn't think anyone had ever made him feel as good as Alex did, and it wasn't just the physical, it wasn't just what they were doing now. It was everything, it was all of it. He'd never felt as seen as he was in his boyfriend's presence.


"Anything," he gasped, "everything." And Alex meant it, too. The line they'd been toeing for months now—always getting right up to it, but shying away at the last moment—was so thin now, it was practically ephemeral. A mere suggestion. He didn't know why something had seemed to shift, to change, but possibility was now probability. It brought the concept of practicality to the forefront of Alex's mind, but only glancingly. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stop touching Stiles long enough to get the necessaries from his bedside table, even though that's what it really was: a necessity. Once they got desperate enough, he knew they'd manage it, but it was nice. More than. Just miles and miles of super freaking fantastic.


He smiled against Alex's skin, not so much because what he said was funny, but because he had the thought that that promise right now was a dangerous one. It was also a sort of abstract, wondering concept he couldn't fully grasp onto. This idea of everything. Because god, he wanted everything too. And anything. Whatever Alex wanted. But putting that into words? Speaking anything into existence right then felt totally beyond him. Words in general might have been a challenge let alone semi-eloquently articulating his wants. He was also very much disinterested in the idea of moving away from Alex's touch, or his current fixation on maybe returning the favor and leaving a mark on the skin below his jaw.


Every swipe of tongue and touch of teeth made the squirmy need inside Alex double up on itself and expand until it filled in the entirety of his skin. His grip turned just this side of bruising where his hand had found its way into Stiles's hair again. He was at least cognizant enough of the other not to do the same where Stiles was hot and twitching in his fingers. The last thing he wanted to ever do was hurt the man he loved—by word or deed. With a panting groan, Alex prised his hand away from the hold they had on soft locks and kind of wriggled awkwardly until he'd grabbed the familiar bottle and foil wrapped packets out and dumped them both within easier reach. He knew his eyes were both dark and fever bright when he looked at Stiles again. "I want, too. If that's not clear."


Maybe some time he'd remember to tell Alex he kind of loved it when he grabbed his hair that way again, but right now too much of his attention was lost on everything he was feeling. He could just as easily get lost in those eyes and the way Alex was looking at him, too. The touch of both of Alex's hands simultaneously threatened to send him spinning off into orbit somewhere. "You pretty much make that clear all the time, but if you want that everything you're talking about I'm gonna need you to slow down for a sec," he breathed wryly, pulling back to take in the look on Alex's face properly. "You make me feel too good, you know that?" But he didn't really want this over before it – mostly – began.


It took a second or two for Alex's brain to catch up. Not quite long enough to ruin what was coming, but probably close. He felt the S-word form on his tongue, but laughed instead, mouth spreading into a knowing grin. No way he couldn't shiver at the look on Stiles's face, but he nodded too even as he slowed his hand to merely gripping him. There was no point in letting go completely. Alex couldn't have stopped touching his boyfriend if he tried. "Same here, obviously. I didn't really know I could be with someone like this. Like, how making you feel good can make me feel good too, y'know?"


He loved that Alex was laughing. It made him laugh too and removed some of the inevitable awkward feeling that came with having any kind of conversation like this. Or maybe that was just him? It was entirely possible it was just him. He didn't mean to get so in his head about things like this. It just tended to be his starting point. "Yeah," he agreed with Alex's point, though. That one was a no brainer. "It's – I like it. A lot." The part about knowing he could make Alex feel that good too, and how good it felt. Too many thoughts about good which was completely underselling it but he could hardly be blamed when he still had his boyfriend's hands on him that way.


Being this close meant Alex could see the way Stiles's eyes kept going in and out of focus. He could only guess at the thoughts going on behind them, but none of them were particularly wild. In the sense of what came next, that is. Alex didn't think his boyfriend was thinking about pygmy rhinos or aardvarks in that moment. (He almost made himself laugh, but caught it in the last second.) His gaze dipped down—"You"—it came back up as he bit his lip, then released it, face blooming with heat—"inside me?"


oh god oh god oh god oh god


The question was kind of a jolt to his system. Not in a bad way. Not even close to in a bad way, but he was sure the flush of color in Alex's skin had to be reflected in his face for as warm as he suddenly felt. Now that the thought was out there between them it was very much a thing he wanted with Alex. It was the simple instinct to want to be close to the person he loved so completely. However many months ago now he could never have imagined being here, with anyone else. Let alone with someone so unexpected. And yet now he couldn't picture anything else.


He soothed the anxious expression off his boyfriend's face with one kiss, and then another deeper one, staying close. "Yeah," he agreed, mouth slanted over his. "I want that too. I want you." Honestly he'd take him however he could get him at this point.


A full body shiver went through Alex, one part relief, another excitement. He couldn't help but moan against Stiles's lips. If he did nothing else in life, at least he could say he'd kissed the best smile in the whole world. Blindly and completely unwilling to pull away, he reached behind himself and pulled the small bottle around so he could drop it between them. "Will you—? Or I can—?" He huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes at himself. If they couldn't talk about this, they had no business doing it—and Alex might cry if they got this far and found someway to reverse course again. "We need to, ah, prep me first."


Between the pair of them, he knew they had the encyclopedic knowledge of the how, not to mention the why. It was just a matter of putting said knowledge into action.


His smile widened in the face of that little huff of a laugh. It made him feel a bit better that Alex seemed to be skittering on the edge of nerves as much as he was, whether that prompted eye rolls or not. As to the you or I question he was asking, well. "I think that's a you decision." Because that one had to be all Alex. All of this from here on out felt like it had to mostly be about Alex, honestly. "Whatever you want. But I can, I mean I will." If he wanted that. But he got it…knowing and doing were two very different things. But he was beyond considerations of want beyond the moment it felt like they'd been building towards for months.


The offer was all Alex needed to surge forward and catch Stiles's mouth all over again. "You," he breathed there, "definitely you."


He was happy to indulge in that kiss as much as his boyfriend's enthusiasm for it. He considered the way they were both currently lying on the bed. "How, uhm…” It was probably a bit ridiculous, the way he kept stumbling over his own sentences. It was just that this was still new enough, different enough, that his stomach fluttered with nerves. He laughed at himself a bit, reaching for the bottle Alex had set between them. “How do you want to do this?” He wanted to make sure he was comfortable, after all.

While this wasn't the first time Alex had ever thought about this moment, he could never settle on the practicality of anything. When it came right down to it, he knew he'd be deciding in the moment, and that was just where he found himself now. If he laid on his stomach, it might make it easier for Stiles, but the thought of not being able to see his boyfriend while they did this made his skin crawl. Alex chewed his lip as he considered, then grabbed a pillow and put it under his hips as he rolled onto his back again. "Like this? I thought about being on my stomach, but I think I need you in kissing distance. Yeah, definitely kissing distance."

Maybe it wasn't the most practical approach, but he was pretty on board with the idea of being able to see Alex's face through this. The kissing distance factor was something he could get on board with, too. Bracing a hand on the bed beside him he leaned down to do just that. "I'm good with that part too." As though it was any secret that he was a bit addicted to kissing his boyfriend at this point.

"Just you know. Tell me to stop if you need me to." Yeah, they were both armed with plenty of knowledge going into this but that was not even close to the same thing, and there was still some guesswork involved in things like how much was too much as he touched his boyfriend this way for the first time. He was probably being more hesitant than he needed to be, but he didn't think he could be blamed for that.

The first few moments were definitely lessons in remembering how to breathe. First it felt weird, but he had Stiles's lips to distract him and keep him from squirming too much. Not a bad weird, just the kind of weird that came from something new, something necessary to get them to what they both wanted. Little gasps became little moans, and utter stillness turned into helpless jerks of his hips as he tried to encourage more. He didn't know he could be driven out of his mind like this, but it was so much better doing it with Stiles, the person he loved beyond the telling. "Don't stop. 'S good. It's so good."

"Yeah?" He wasn't really asking. It was mostly rhetorical because there was no denying the way Alex said it, or the look on his face. He had no frame of reference beyond those reactions and so he clung to them like a lifeline. It was the don't stop that really told him when it was okay to do more, and try not to get caught up in everything he'd read as he added the press of another finger. As exhilarating as it was to know he was making Alex feel good, he was getting a bit stuck on the thought of how good this was going to feel later, and that was almost as heady a rush as the sheer level of trust in this moment. Those little movements of his hips were distracting in their own way, and he smoothed his free hand over Alex's thigh, wanting to be touching him in any way he could.

Alex's eyes squeezed shut for a moment as he adjusted. It wasn't too much, but it was an awful lot. He didn't know how he'd be ready for Stiles at this rate, but he desperately wanted to be. After all this time, this was the next evolution to their relationship. It felt as right and natural and intrinsic as the very breaths puffing in and out of his lungs. He sent a dazed smile down at his boyfriend, then reached for the hand on his leg and pulled it gently up to his chest, right over where his heart thumped hard. His thighs kept moving in these tiny twitches, and he was making a mess of his stomach—if those two facts weren't a sign of his abundant enjoyment of the proceedings, then his tiny moans with every movement of Stiles's fingers gave the whole game away. The same precipice he'd driven Stiles to just before this was getting rapidly closer. "Stiles, baby, please. Please. I want— I-I need you."

He was so attuned to every sound Alex was making, and every shift in his expression. He was trying not to be, but it was hard not to have half of his concentration fixed on the thought of not wanting this to be too much. His hand being brought to settle against the not so steady rise and fall of his boyfriend's chest went a long way to soothing those worries, which was only helped along by the accompanying words. He felt his stomach clench in want as he looked back at him, meeting that shaky smile with one of his own, leaning in to kiss it from his face. "Okay," he breathed against his mouth in some kind of reassurance that he'd get what he wanted. "Okay."

Unsurprisingly, it happened to be what they both wanted. He was kind of reluctant to pull too far away from Alex as he fumbled for one of the foil packets he'd dropped on the mattress earlier. From there it took a second to find what was the best position before finally bringing them together with a slowness that felt torturous considering how overwhelmingly good it immediately felt.

Breathe.

Alex needed to breathe. After the thorough way Stiles eased him to this point, the actual moment of first blunt pressure and then the way his body simply opened up around him, Alex thought he might cry. He hadn't really known what to expect outside of the mechanics of the thing; the experience went so far beyond anything he could have imagined. He'd never felt so connected with every single inch of his skin, nor ever so glad he actually had a body that could be touched—could be loved—like this. He saw stars. They framed the intensity on Stiles's face, leaving Alex to be certain that, in this one singular moment, he was the entire center of the only universe that mattered.

Angles made it difficult to pull his boyfriend down for a kiss, but Alex couldn't not. Couldn't not have all his breathy sounds hummed against the mouth he loved. Couldn't not tilt his hips so Stiles sunk even deeper. Couldn't not curl his toes where they pressed against Stiles's calves. Couldn't not cling to shoulders he loved so much because they were part of the greater whole that made up the amazing man in his arms. His heart swelled, fit to burst. "Ohmygod, I love you so much!"

Maybe it wasn't the most conducive position for the way Alex pulled him into a kiss, but Sties was honestly beyond any such considerations as his mouth moved over his boyfriend's, completely lost to everything he was feeling. He was hyper aware of every part of them that was touching. From his feet against his legs and the arm curled around his shoulders, to the overwhelming feeling of Alex shifting his hips and bringing them closer together still, closing his eyes against the sensation as he let his words wash over him.

"Alex, this is…you feel –" It was so like his boyfriend to say something so sentimental in a moment like this, when he couldn't even string a sentence together. But then he figured the not saying it was saying everything he needed it to. Instead he just smiled between slowly traded kisses at the almost unreality of them finally being here, his fingers curling around the shoulder beneath his hand.

Any additional agreements Alex could have voiced were swallowed up by the slow, clearly experimental push and pull of Stiles's hips against his own. They were almost more instinct than anything premeditated, much like Alex's own movements and the way his hand buried itself in Stiles's hair as Alex gasped into his parted mouth. Time slipped and slid between them, lost to the inexorable tide of their bodies. If Alex would sometimes mark the passage of his life with the beats in his chest, he now wished he slow them down. Slow, slow, until all there could be was Stiles's breath on his cheek, the curl of his own knees now nearly up to Stiles's ribs, and a thousand other things he wanted to catalogue but couldn't because every second that passed was his new favorite.

He lost anything like coherence. All he had left were stuttered, half-formed adorations, gasped encouragement, and a litany of Stiles-Stiles-Stiles.

Those sounds and encouragements might not have seemed like a lot, but they were all he needed right then, paired with everything else he was feeling, which was all encompassing. Somehow amongst the overwhelming feeling that seemed to accompany every movement of his hips, he was still so aware of the small things, like Alex's fingers in his hair, and the warmth of their bodies at every place they touched. It was all slowly building towards a precipice he couldn't pull away from even as he found himself wanting this moment to drag on for as long as possible.

Their time together may not have included this until now, but Alex still knew the signs for when his boyfriend was close. The knowledge that it was his body—and what they were doing together—helping to get Stiles there pushed Alex closer to his own edge. All he needed was another, more deliberate form of friction, but he was far too busy grappling with and clutching at the slick slide of Stiles's skin. It also didn't help that he kept getting lost in the eclipsed amber of Stiles's eyes, and they way they'd snap into focus whenever they met Alex's. He didn't need words; everything Stiles couldn't say was written all across his face in bold, 72-point print. Alex could only hope his own words were just as obvious.

He scrambled to actually put his thoughts into an actual request, and managed a simple, if slightly desperate: "T-touch me?"

The request might have been simple, but it didn't need to be more than that. There wasn't much Alex could ask of him that Stiles wouldn't immediately do. He was hardwired to want to give his boyfriend everything he wanted and more. With the arm not braced beside him on the bed he reached between them to curl his fingers around him, sinking back into an almost desperate kiss as he did, the action speaking to everything he was feeling. The words 'I love you' were mixed in there somewhere too, though he didn't really need to verbalize them for Alex to know. His hand set a rhythm to match the movement of his hips and the way Alex moved in response, wanting him to feel as incredible as he was making him feel.

All-consuming—that's what this moment was. He'd never had a concept of what that could mean. There was always some thought or feeling which would set Alex's mind down any number of paths. Perhaps not to the degree Stiles experienced it, and yet maybe it was why they worked. None of which was currently in Alex's brain, regardless. How could he think about anything else when there was Stiles: in him, around him. His boyfriend was all he could taste, all he could hear, all he could feel. Every single sense was perfectly overwhelmed by Stiles, and Alex wouldn't have had it any other way. He made a noise against the tongue wrapped around his own, as much a warning as it was the tell-tale sign of the inevitability of his own swiftly approaching end. Honestly, it was a miracle this hadn't happened right away. That's how good all this felt. Alex was an instant addict.

He was pretty familiar with that sound from Alex at this point, and knew well enough what it meant, especially with the way he felt his body tensing beneath him. It also happened to do a pretty good job of bringing him closer to tipping over that edge he felt like he'd been teetering on for a long while now. As he gave into the feeling, he had the sense to keep up the motion of his hand, sinking further into the kiss with a shuddering moan as he lost sense of anything outside the feel of Alex around him, and his arms grasping onto him. He rode the feeling out until he sagged against his boyfriend, catching his breath as he came down from the completely overwhelming sensation.

Heart, head, and body thundering, it took a long while for Alex to come back to any kind of semblance of himself. That's just how good Stiles had made him feel. The clutch of his hands eased to slow caresses over his boyfriend's back and sides. It took Alex a long time to find his words again, let alone to put them into a coherent order. Even then, he could only come up with a highly pithy: "Wow. I mean, y'know, just… wow!" Alex giggled. Actually giggled. He'd probably lost his mind. It was fine. He didn't need it anyway. Why would he need to think after what they'd just done? He planted a series of kisses to Stiles's face and lips, because he'd never been happier in his entire life. "You're amazing."

He only pulled away long enough to take care of the necessities before sinking back into his hold. The giggle made him smile fondly between one kiss and the next, breathing a laugh because what else was he supposed to do in the face of Alex's adoration? "You're pretty incredible yourself," is what he settled on, keeping him pulled in close. Wow might also have been a bit of an understatement, but like Alex he didn't have much brain space for anything more eloquent, so his boyfriend could be the keeper of labelling things tonight. He couldn't resist brushing a thumb over his temple, hand settling at his jaw. "I love you." They were about the only other words he could come up with in the moment, but he figured they worked.

"I love you, too." They were words tattooed across Alex's heart, and they flowed out of him like the sweetest, truest song. He leaned into the hand of his face and turned just far enough to kiss the edge of Stiles's palm before doing the same against his mouth. The fluttery feeling in his chest slowed along with his breathing. It would always be there as far as his boyfriend was concerned, but sleep was creeping along the edges of the world around them. Alex buried a yawn rather unsuccessfully against Stiles's shoulder. "I think more movie nights should end like this. If it means I no longer know how they end, I'm okay with that."

With Alex tucking his head against his shoulder that way it was all he could do to curl his arm further around him and pull him in closer still, hand shifting to the back of his head and fingers sinking into soft blond strands he loved so much. "As long as you promise to keep your hands off me long enough to catch the end of them sometimes," he teased, knowing full well this had been a completely mutual decision to skip out on the end of Die Hard. It wasn't that his boyfriend hadn't demonstrably obviously enjoyed what they'd been doing, but hearing him say it was something he wanted to do more of settled some questioning something in his chest. The uncertainty that liked to creep up on him about so many things. So the words helped.

"Mmm, no promises. You have no idea how irresistible you are." Another one of Alex's core truths, even though he knew his boyfriend often struggled to believe it for himself. He shifted just enough to nuzzle at Stiles's neck, then kissed the underside of his jaw. A dull ache was settling into his bones, but he welcomed it. This was the kind of reminder he wanted, something physical he knew would last for a couple of days, at least. He let his hands drift: into Stiles's hair, across his back, over every inch of skin within reach. "And speaking of… I really do want to do that again. Whenever you do too, of course. I'm also completely good with cuddles, just like this. I really just want to be with you, in whatever shape that takes, y'know?"

“There you go blaming me again,” he joked. He thought maybe they were both equally to blame for not being able to keep their hands off each other moments, as it happened. Which seemed to be a state Alex found himself in right now. Again, no complaints, unable to keep his own hands off his boyfriend for long. He was pretty much enjoying the current closeness paired with the languid, boneless feeling which clung to him. He did know, too. If only because it was a thing Alex said casually, all the time. Which wasn’t any sort of complaint. It was an undeniably nice thing to hear that a person wanted to be with you in whatever situation. “Well you know I happen to be a pretty strong supporter of the cuddles. But that was pretty incredible too.” He wouldn’t take much convincing for a repeat.

"Maybe in the morning?" Alex wrinkled his nose mischievously. He always thought Stiles was much better at the expression, but he'd had his share of practice, not to mention the ease of familiarity. It was crazy, how they were just a handful of months shy of a year since they started dating. Sure, Alex had harbored a tiny crush from day one, but he never would have dared to dream they'd be where they were now. He smiled and settled in with tangled limbs and a happy sigh. "After sleep, though. Possibly before breakfast. I dunno, cereal is super, super tempting."

Okay, but that was kind of adorable. He'd be worried about how much of a thing it was, how obsessed he was with him, if Alex didn't already know it. Plus he'd been pretty clear about how mutual that was, so he figured it was fine. "Well, sure. Who wouldn't find it hard to ignore the siren song of cereal. Besides, there's something about going back to bed after you've already been up. Forbidden sleep." Not that they were talking about sleep in this instance, but maybe the concept would be the same. But with the way Alex settled against him he was pretty happy to give into the concept of sleep for a while now.

Alex giggled again, but this time it was slurred with a definite note of the sleepies. He cracked a yawn against the side of his boyfriend's neck, and then pressed an apology kiss to the side of his jaw. "Forbidden sleep in the morning. Real sleep now. And more"—he broke off to snort, completely unable to take himself seriously—"lovin' before the forbidden sleep. I love when we make plans. But not nearly as much as I love you."