Alex Mercer (alexmercer) wrote in chances_rpg, @ 2024-04-09 18:39:00 |
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Entry tags: | julieandthephantoms: alex mercer, teen wolf: stiles stilinski |
Who: Stiles and Alex (yes, again, shhh)
What: Adding to the Playlist
When: Last Week
Where: Alex's Room
Rating: Low/None, just boys being kind of dumb
Status: Completed via GDocs
Stiles had never been any good at saying when he needed something, unless it was something trivial. He wanted caring, especially now, but he wasn’t good with that being acknowledged. People had always had to find their way through the sarcasm and jokes. Lydia had managed it. So had Scott. And now, there was Alex. Against all odds, he seemed to know just what to do or say to break down all his defences without a struggle and just be there.
And so in the days following Scott’s disappearance, Alex’s room had become something of a safe space for him. He didn’t feel any weight of expectation when he was there. Waking up that first night curled up on the bed with him should maybe have been awkward, but somehow it wasn’t. And he was pretty sure that just came down to Alex.
A few nights later and he was worried this was going to become a bad habit if he didn’t stop showing up here soon. But that didn’t mean he was prepared to give it up just yet. There was still a sadness clinging to him he couldn’t shake, and he knew that would take time. After what his friend had told him the Nogitsune had said (and done), he was determined to replace at least some bad memories with good, though. So he was currently sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him on Alex’s bed, sharing his most listened to Spotify playlists.
Having Stiles be the one to show off his music tastes made something unknot in Alex's chest. Slowly, over the course of the weeks since his return, Alex had done his best not to overwhelm his friend, but the guilt of what had happened still weighed on him. Granted, that weight was a great deal less pronounced now, and had shifted on to other matters. Like the fact that, despite starting the night on opposite sides of the bed, they just kept gravitating toward one another in the night.
That first one, when he'd woken up curled against Stiles' back, he'd waited with carefully unabated breath for his friend to spring away from him. Half a dozen excuses and apologies sat spring loaded in his head, but he hadn't needed it. In fact, neither of them talked about it even when it kept happening. Nor did they talk about the fact that many of their evenings—after band and school—were spent just like this, sitting shoulder to shoulder, just talking or watching one of Stiles' favorites. Alex had to admit (aloud) that he hadn't been all that into very much media outside of Cosmic Conflict, which was really down to his friendship with Luke and Reggie. If nothing else, he was getting a movie-cation, and now a music-cation, a la Stiles Stilinski.
And if this wasn't the perfect time for for what he'd planned, he didn't know what was. Turning a bit, he leaned over to his only slightly messy bedside table and retrieved a USB cord. Alex plugged one end into his own, then offered the other to his friend. Julie had been sweet and patient enough to show him how to do this. No need to talk about how long it took. "Speaking of songs, I've got something for you. I'm not sure which playlist it may fit in, but I have zero doubt your brilliant mind will figure it out."
When it came to music recommendations, Stiles felt like he was probably hopelessly ill-equipped to share much of anything with Alex. His knowledge about music in general paled in comparison. But he knew what he liked, and he could share that at least. There was a lot of influence from the 2000s of course. But there was also a good sprinkling of songs his parents had both listened to, spanning an eclectic range of genres. His mom had been a big Creedence fan, and he felt an undeniable connection to some of their songs.
Movies, though, were where he’d really enjoyed expanding Alex’s knowledge. From the classics (Die Hard) to some which were an undeniable result of Lydia’s influence (the less said of his enjoyment of The Notebook the better - he was pretty sure that was some kind of Stockholm Syndrome thing).
“Got something for me like, played something for me?” He asked, curiosity written all over his face as he took the end of the cord offered to him to listen. He couldn’t imagine why else Alex would have phrased it that way otherwise. The brilliant mind remark was filed away in that part of his brain where he put all the endless nice things Alex said or did that he didn’t quite know how to deal with. It was sort of like waking up with the blond sleeping at his back, or those smiles that hit him squarely in the chest when they were directed at him. There was no pretending there wasn’t something between them, but given that something was completely uncharted territory for him, he had no idea how to broach it.
The song started with a melody on a piano, and then Julie started singing. His eyes shot up to meet Alex’s though, when he recognized his voice coming in on about the second line. He hadn’t just played him a song with the band. He was singing him a song. He forced his attention back to where it belonged, doing his best to actually take in the lyrics rather than just sit there dumbfounded as he listened. The meaning of those words wasn’t lost on him, and the significance of such a gesture threatened to overwhelm him the longer he listened.
While the silence stretched, Alex did his best not to fidget or do that thing where he kept checking to see Stiles' reaction. He could hear the tinny sound of the song as it played, but he would have known each beat, each note by heart, since it had been in his head since he and Julie went over and recorded it. Was it album-worthy? Probably not. But it was the easily the song Alex was most proud of, not the least for who it was for. He stared at his bedspread and did his best to ignore the crackle in his chest, or the way his breathing went shallow.
It was too much. It was way too much.
And very suddenly, Alex wanted to be anywhere else. He would have sprung from the bed and literally ran from the room if it hadn't been for the fact that he was paralyzed with anxiety. The last of the notes faded. He blinked to try to clear the floating shinies from his gaze, which was apparently the distraction his brain needed, because the next thing he knew, his hand had moved just enough to barely brush his pinky against Stiles'. Softly, he sang, "No need to fear, it you're not alone…"
As the music ended, Stiles had to remind himself to breathe again. It felt like he’d been holding his breath for the entirety of the song. He was trying to grapple with the multitude of thoughts running through his brain, to grasp on to the one intelligent enough to maybe say something to Alex that would be enough, but he was coming up empty.
He was pulled from his attempt by Alex’s pinky bumping his hand, and he turned his tear filled gaze to look at him as he sang that line, still completely unsure where to even begin. How could he possibly explain to him how much what he’d done for him meant to him?
“Alex, you’re -” Amazing, brilliant, astounding. All of them words that felt like too much right then, even if in reality they weren’t close to enough. “That was incredible. No one has ever…no one’s ever done anything like that for me.” God, he sucked. He wasn’t coming close to expressing just how much those few minutes of music meant to him. It wasn’t enough, and he couldn’t leave it there. Ignoring the awkward angle, he shifted enough to pull his friend into a tight hug. “Thank you,” he breathed, putting all the meaning into those two simple words he could.
Naturally, Alex's arms went around Stiles right back. No question there. The only reason he stiffened at all was to keep from shivering at the sincerity behind his friend's gratitude. He buried his face in the space between neck and shoulder, and sent that feeling right back at him. "You deserve all the nice things, okay? People should be doing lots for you. Y'know, in my opinion or whatever. And you've been through a lot. It was time you got something nice."
Those words made him laugh, though it was little more than a surprised exhale. He finally pulled back from the hug, though he stayed close, eyes searching Alex’s face. He didn’t quite know what for. What he was thinking, maybe. He hadn’t meant to react that way, and was looking for a way to brush it off, feeling oddly exposed
“You keep saying things like that. You’re dangerous for my ego, dude.” What he didn’t say was that he thought if he knew the half of it, he’d have different views about what Stiles deserved. But then again, maybe not. Alex seemed like the sort of person who saw the best in people. It was the same with Scott. He always admired people who could do that so easily.
Alex drew himself up as best he could while sitting, and announced, with all artless sincerity, "I am a professional ego fluffer!" He grinned brightly and settled in against Stiles's side, shoulders right back to where they were, pressed comfortably together. "Now you've gotta show me how I get this song you to so you can find the perfect playlist."
He opened his mouth to ask about spring break, but for some reason the question flew right out of his mouth. Probably because it would be a weird subject change. Instead, he nudged Stiles' leg with his knee. "I really mean it, though. Nice things. For you. Because you're totally worth it."
Stiles bit back a laugh at that, but he didn’t hide the amused smirk, settling back against the pillows behind them when Alex did the same. “We’ll get you some business cards. Pink ones, shaped like a drum.” He wordlessly held out his hand for the device so he could transfer the song across at his request.
“Nice things,” he echoed when Alex nudged his leg. “Okay, deal. Only nice things for both of us in this place from now on.” As though that was in any way in their control. But Stiles was sick of all the bad. He was determined to focus on the good for a while.