Second Chances: the Network

Seriously? I've been abducted again... Are we really supposed to pretend like everything is fine and live out our lives?

How has it been three months since I arrived here? Feels like time is moving faster here than it does back in Purgatory.

[Family]

As much as I don't want it to be, I think the honeymoon is over. Time for me to get back into uniform, I guess.

I never thought I'd say "actually, I preferred being in space," but this place can seriously go fuck itself with these magic eggs. And no, I don't want to talk about it.

[WAVERLY & NICOLE]

(Attached image of Doc's hat and leather jacket laying on her bed.)

Um, excuse me, shut up, why did nobody tell me about Chappell Roan before I randomly stumbled onto Pink Pony Club yesterday? And I mean, The Giver? That's my jam, I've been singing it all day. I'm officially mad at all of you for not filling a girl in.

Karaoke night next Friday after I have a chance to memorize her entire discography, anyone?

Is it wrong to add "lifestyle blogger" to my work history even though that wasn’t me? Not sure it's a career path I want to pursue but you've got to keep options open, right?

Anyway, hi, I'm Nicole. Sorry I didn't get much of a chance to introduce myself before all that weirdness happened.

[Kitty and Claudia]

Well, that was certainly an interesting way to make new friends. I hope that's something we can continue being now that we're back to ourselves.

Well, Readers, it happened. Again.

I know, I know. It's been a hot minute since I gave you all an update. Sorry, I haven’t been around much but I fell for it. I thought I had found my perfect match for Valentine’s Day. And well, let’s just say the Calamity Jane Valentine’s Curse strikes again.

Answer me this... how is it that someone so beautiful, caring, and smart in person, can be so cruel and negative once they have a keyboard in front of them? Is the computer screen some sort of shield allowing them to hide behind after flinging dirt? Using the anonymity of a username to block the world from seeing their true ugly self.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m putting too much thought in it. Maybe I’m just destined to be single for the rest of my life. There’s nothing wrong with that, right?

xoxo, Calamity Jane

Okay, so. End of the world? Not end of the world? Demons screwing shit up again?

No reason, just taking a poll.

There probably isn't enough alcohol in the world to make whatever the fuck all this is okay, but I have $5K burning a hole in my pocket and the incredibly strong desire to get blackout drunk for the next week.

Are you effing kidding me? Can't a lady get a break to enjoy her staycation honeymoon with her hot new wife? This is some bullcrap.

Wow. Sorry. I guess I'm a little grumpy. But no, you know what, I'm leaving it. My emotions are valid.

Anyway, hi, I'm Waverly and I'm new, which you probably guessed already by all of that up there. Oh! Let's do two truths and a lie, okay? Take your best guess:

• I have a master's degree in ancient languages.
  
• I've kissed a frog.
  
• I've been to London.