Mmm, I'm glad you changed that, because it works so much better with the hesitation and all that's not said. And your torment of poor Irwin is much better with this scenario as well.
I love that you researched the books and the cigarette brands. For some reason this does not surprise me. :D
I meant everything I said, of course. I really do think you found Irwin's voice quite nicely. I hadn't thought of the Harry/Dakin fic as a parallel, but I suppose it is, and that makes this all the more wonderful. Aw! ♥