Celandine's Chronicle (celandineb) wrote in cels_fic_haven, @ 2015-06-17 11:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | hp ficlets harry, hp ficlets remus, hp quill-it 100.3 |
HP ficlet: Could It Ever Have Been Different? [Harry, Remus, general]
Title: Could It Ever Have Been Different?
Author: celandineb
Fandom: HP
Characters: Harry, Remus
Rating: general
Length: 1050 words
Summary: Twenty-three years after the war, Harry gets an unexpected visitor.
Note: For quill_it, 100.3, prompt 28, "final". For snegurochka_lee who has always been fond of Remus. The title is taken from the Pink Floyd song "A New Machine – Part I."
"What the… Remus?"
Harry's glass fell unheeded to the rug, spilling Firewhisky everywhere.
"Hello, Harry."
Remus's voice was even hoarser than Harry remembered, and his hair was entirely grey, but there was no mistaking him.
"But you're dead. Years ago. I saw you buried. Not that… I mean, it's fantastic that you're here, but…" Harry babbled. "No, wait a minute. Is it really you? "
"It's really me." Remus gave a twisted smile. "In the first Defense Against the Dark Arts class I taught you, Dean Thomas's boggart turned into a severed hand, and Padma Parvati's was a mummy."
Harry thought hard and nodded. "That's right, they were. Merlin. It is you. But how can you be alive now, after twenty-three years? I don't understand."
"Could I have a drink?" Remus sank into the nubbly red armchair as though his legs would no longer hold him up.
"Of course." Harry cleaned up the spilled whisky with a flick of his wand first, then refilled his own glass and gave Remus a fresh one.
"Thanks." Remus took an enormous swallow and sighed. "I've been alive the whole time. Werewolves are hard to kill permanently. Decapitation or burning the corpse is the best way to ensure we won't return."
"You were buried alive?" asked Harry, horrified.
Remus nodded. "I transformed at the first full moon after the battle and clawed my way out, but I was tremendously weakened, and of course my wand wasn't put in the coffin. Do you know whatever happened to it?"
"I think Teddy has it," said Harry. "Hang on. What have you been doing for the past twenty-three years? Why didn't you let us—let Teddy, and Tonks's parents—know you were alive?"
"I…" Remus bowed his head and was silent for a few moments. "You called me a coward once, Harry, and you were right. I couldn't… couldn't face them. Better for Teddy to think I was dead, perhaps even a hero, than have me around."
Harry started to object, but realizing it was pointless, held his tongue. If Remus had kept himself hidden for all those years, Harry's protests weren't going to make any difference.
"So why are you here now?" he asked instead.
"I don't know, really." Remus finished his whisky and looked up again, his eyes distant. "I suppose I just became too lonely to keep on. I've been living in… well, it doesn't matter. A Muggle town, without any wizarding folk at all. I had a job as a building cleaner."
"You're not going back to that," said Harry. "No. You can stay here in Grimmauld Place with me. I want you to," he added fiercely when Remus seemed about to demur. "There's plenty of room. Sirius would have wanted you to stay too."
"I'd only be in your way, Harry."
"Not at all. I live here alone since Ginny and I split up, a couple of years ago, and the kids are all out on their own too."
"You have children?" Remus looked pleased.
Of course, there was no way he could have known.
"Three," said Harry, unable to keep the pride from his voice. "James Sirius, Albus Severus, and Lily Luna. There's a picture of them on the mantel."
Remus rose, his bones creaking, and crossed the room to look. The picture was from only a year before, and the three waved happily as Remus peered into the frame. "They look wonderful. Congratulations, Harry."
"Thanks." Harry took a breath. "If you want to know about Teddy… he's doing well. I see him every couple of weeks. He's working as a wand-maker and engaged to Bill and Fleur's daughter Victoire."
"I'm happy to hear that," said Remus, sitting down again.
"Don't you want to see him for yourself?" Harry couldn't help asking.
Remus shook his head. "He's never known me. I wouldn't want to push into his life now."
"Don't be ridiculous. Teddy'd be over the moon," Harry winced as soon as he said the infelicitous phrase, "to know you're alive, to get to meet you at last. I'm sure of that."
"Well, maybe. I'll think about it," Remus said. He paused, chewing on his lip. "Harry."
"What?"
"Forgive me for not coming back sooner. I simply… I couldn't, that's all. It seemed so much easier to drift into the Muggle world, forget who and what I was except for one day each month. A coward, as you said."
"Don't. I was wrong. You fought like hell when it came to the point," said Harry.
Shrugging, Remus said, "That was easy for me. Fighting. Facing the day-to-day has always been a much harder struggle."
Harry made an annoyed sound. "Have it your way. I'm glad you're back, I just wish you hadn't waited so long, wasted so much time."
"For 'time all things devours,'" Remus quoted softly. "Oh, don't worry, Harry. I have no plans to live as a Muggle any longer. For one thing, as I get older, the transformation each month becomes worse. I'm less safe to be around than I ever was, even taking every precaution I can. No, this is the end for me, the final phase."
"The final phase?" repeated Harry uneasily. "What do you mean?"
Remus gave a hoarse chuckle. "I'm getting old, that's all. Werewolves may be hard to kill, but we also don't usually reach old age. The physical strain on the body is too much. I don't expect I have many years left."
"However many years you have, you'll spend them here, with me, with Teddy, with all the people who have cared for you," Harry said. His mind was already buzzing with possibilities for helping Remus. Hermione, he had to talk with Hermione, whose campaigns to promote equal rights for all magical creatures had been mostly successful over the decades. And Al's N.E.W.T. in Potions—surely he could duplicate, even improve on, the Wolfsbane potion that Snape had used to brew for Remus.
"As you wish." Remus's head sagged forward, then jerked back.
"You're exhausted. Come on, I think James's old room has the bed made up."
Harry held out his hand for Remus to pull himself up, then hugged him tightly. Letting go, he pretended not to see the moisture on Remus's cheeks as he led him upstairs to sleep.