Hee. Thank you for such a thoughtful comment! To which I can really only say, yes, I think you've hit it right on the nail. That is a large part of why Teddy is in the headspace he is, and conversely Remus's understanding (limited though it may be) of what Teddy's experiences have been very much help justify what he's doing.
It's sad, when you think about it, that Teddy's first time doing so many things was driven by anxiety rather than tenderness.
Yes yes yes. Which is true for so very many people... and its common-ness makes it no less sad! :-(