cau_demelza (cau_demelza) wrote in causatum_rpg, @ 2008-07-02 00:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | & st. mungos, * july 1999, - npc, demelza robins, ~ complete |
RP: The Mother Who Doesn't Remember Her Daughter
Date: July 1, 1999
Characters: Demelza Robins, Nina Robins
Location: Janus Thickney Ward, St. Mungo's
Private/Public: Private
Rating: G
Warnings: -
Summary: Demelza has a conversation with her mother, and then reflects on things.
Completion: Complete
***
Her throat felt dry.
Demelza might not have sat on the chair set up beside her mother’s bed, but that didn’t mean she’d forgotten the experience at all. She’d spent hours upon hours in here. Long sittings and frequent visits amounted to a large bank of time dwindled away talking to someone who didn’t always seem to know who she was.
And that hurt. Piercingly.
In fact, it was the recollection of exactly how it would feel - the heart wrench, the wariness, the dredging up of memories she wished heartily she could banish henceforth and forevermore - all this that caused all this nervousness and hesitation.
Demelza Robins. Afraid of her own mother. It was certainly not something anyone would have expected, least of all Demelza herself.
She sighed and perched herself on the all too familiar chair, but took a moment before she could cast her eyes upon the woman that sat up reading a two-week old newspaper in bed.
"Hello, Nina," she began, shyly breaking the silence.
Her mother abruptedly turned the page and looked up for half a second, brows furrowing. She knew this girl - from somewhere, she was sure. She'd seen her before, hadn't she? No. No, she couldn't find the memory. She bestowed upon the child (although, you couldn't technically call her one, even if she had a vulnerable disposition about her) a polite smile. "Hello," she returned.
"How are you?"
"Fine," Nina replied distantly. "I'm sorry, have we met?"
Her daughter nearly choked. "Yes. I'm De- Brigette." She wasn't sure what made her say it. Perhaps she was looking for a way out of being told the same story about how Nina also had a daughter named Demelza! In fact, the Healers had suggested that if Nina didn't recognise her, it would be easier on her nerves if she just gave a fake name. But she'd been defiant and insisted that she use her own first name, thank you.
Demelza wasn't supposed to call her mother 'Mum'. She could, but the Healers had only just managed to get the woman to remember what her name was. They called this great progress, but Demelza was less than sure. Her mother occasionally recalled that she had children. Sometimes she talked to her about them - but the memories she could evoke, and this only on the extremely good and extremely rare days, centered on them all circa Demelza being only three or younger.
"Brigette?" Nina frowned and looked thoughtful "Hmm. It's a very pretty name. I can't place it though. You remind me of my husband, Carey. Are you a relation of his?"
It was going to be this memory loop, was it? She leaned back in her chair and stared at her fingernails. "Yes."
"It's nice of you to drop by," Nina offered and smiled much more warmly. "I wonder when he'll be coming in himself."
"I don't think he will," Demelza began. "He's very busy. There's a lot of things going on at home."
"Really?" Her mother looked genuinely confused. "Well, I suppose there might be. The twins, they're only five. Do you babysit them?"
She cracked a smile at that one. "Yes, you could say that."
"Well, thank you, dear. You really are very kind," she asserted and then returned to her newspaper.
Demelza looked at the vase of flowers Diggory had bought yesterday when he'd come to see Nina on his own. Apparently, she'd recognised him, even at the age he was now. Demelza had never felt more envious of him than she had the hour he broke that news to her.
Things were so fucked up, and the arrests hadn't helped. Of course, they couldn't detain Demelza when she explained that she couldn't possibly be high risk if she'd been targeted by the Carrows in Hogwarts the year before. And especially as she'd fought in the Battle of Hogwarts against Death Eaters. Oh, and that she was a half-blood with a Muggle father.
It was evident the Ministry was just as useless as it had always been. She didn't feel safer knowing they had a list of names coincidentally "linked" to those convicted of crimes that had torn apart families, killed people, brought the Wizarding society of the United Kingdom down crashing to its knees so that it was barely able to stand up again. She didn't feel safer. But she did feel angry.
Since the arrest, something about her had changed. Sure. On the outside she seemed the ever kooky and candid Demelza she'd always been - but the incident had shaken her, brought out things she'd tried to push back and hide from sight. And everytime she made a visit like this one, it tore open wounds that seemed almost impossible to heal.
And people were beginning to notice. Soon, there'd be questions. And if asked enough times, she'd have to open her mouth and talk, and if she talked? She'd cry. And if she cried? Well. It still wouldn't change anything, would it?
Returning to the real world, she shifted in her chair a bit and tucked back the hair that had fallen forward. Soon, she'd end her visitation for the day and go back to work, sell books, smile at customers, go home, crash and have yet another nightmare.
Fantastic.
At least on Friday she could get drunk over the occasion of her birthday.