megan marple is judging your reading habits (mmarple) wrote in casefile, @ 2018-07-31 15:28:00
WHO: Gregory & Megan Marple WHEN: July-something 2018; early summer 2008; early summer 1998 WHERE: Gregory & Anabel's kitchen table SUMMARY: Non-linear narrative, Megan going to her uncle for advice WARNINGS: None?
Megan sat at her uncle and aunt's table, tracing her thumb in circles on the coffee mug she held. She'd been here before, many times. Sitting at this table with her uncle, though they used to talk over cookies and milk instead of coffee. "I need advice," she said, looking up at her uncle. A fairly common refrain. She did, of course, visit her uncle (and aunt) for other reasons, but Uncle Gregory was one of the people Megan went to for advice.
“If it's on which creamer to try, the thin mint one is ridiculous.” Gregory smiled over his own cup. “But if it's not that, I'm happy to listen.”
"That sounds dangerous," Megan commented about the creamer with a grin. "But actually…" She hesitated, chewing a little on her lower lip. "I'm thinking about leaving. For a while. But I just… don't know if I can."
“Its very dangerous. Girl scouts are a cunning sort.” His eyes twinkled but his smile remained gentle. “What sort of while? A few days, weeks, or maybe transferring to a new town?”
"I already did a few days, I went camping at the beginning of the month. It was nice to be somewhere else. But… I'm thinking about moving somewhere. Another state, probably. For a few months. Or years." Megan looked down at her coffee, but didn't drink it. "But I have a good job here, I don't know if I can give that up to work minimum wage somewhere else just because I want to not be here for a while." It wasn't like she had any kind of college degree or vast work experience to get a decent job anywhere else.
It wasn't entirely surprising, given recent events. And Gregory knew not everyone was as happy as he was to stay in this town. Especially with all the additional excitement that had happened. “Well. There are a few options. You can start looking for jobs in other cities while you stay here. If you have a nest egg you can move and use it while you find work. Or see if there's something new for you to try here if you end up wanting to stay.”
She had a little bit of a nest egg, though not a whole lot. And most of it would have to go toward getting a car if she really was going to move. "I think if I ended up staying here, it would be because of my job. I don't hate it or anything, I just… I've always wanted to go see other places, live other places, but I've always just ended up staying here instead." In that, she particularly envied Camila for having just packed up and moved. "I guess I could look online for jobs elsewhere. Though I don't exactly have many qualifications for anything."
“What are you looking at trying?” Gregory asked instead.
"I don't know, really." Which was part of the reason Megan had never gone out and done anything: she thought about it a lot, but she had always lacked the drive to really do anything about it, had never really thought through what she would do if she did leave. "I'm really only qualified to work in customer service, or maybe as a receptionist. But even those jobs seem to want college degrees."
“Or equivalent work experience.” Gregory added helpfully. “You have a fair a bit of experience in those sorts of roles.”
Megan nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. "True, I do have a lot of experience. I just don't know if that's enough."
“Well, you won't know until you try.” Gregory took his own sip. “So no reason to not try.”
"Is it a mistake, to not go to college?" Megan asked her uncle. They were sitting at the table, an unopened soda can in front of her. She tapped her fingernails lightly on the cold can. "Everyone else is." Just about, anyway. Eva, Clea, Tony, and Sofia were all getting ready to start college in the fall. And Megan had no plans at all.
Gregory took a sip of his iced tea, pondering the question. He knew what he wanted to tell her to do, but that might not be what Megan wanted. “Do you want to go?” He asked.
"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I don't even know what I'd want to study. That's a lot of money to spend when I don't know what I want to do, isn't it?"
“Well some people discover it there. But it's true, it's a lot of money.” He agreed.
Everyone else seemed to already know what they wanted to do. What if she spent all that money on college and still never discovered anything? "Mrs. Grant offered me a full-time job at the library." She'd been working there part-time since her junior year, but she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted to do, either.
“Those jobs are hard to come by.” Gregory nodded along. “You could spent some time there, see if that's what you'd want to do in school to move up? But only if you think you'd enjoy it.”
Megan shrugged. "I do like working at the library." She smiled a little. "What other job would give me a completely legitimate reason to read all day? But I don't know if I want to do that forever." More specifically, she didn't want to stay here forever.
“Megan, you don't have to decide on forever now.” Gregory smiled encouragingly. “Youre 18. You've decades to figure things out.”
She couldn't help but think about something they'd learned in physics: a body at rest tends to stay at rest. That was how Megan always felt. She didn't have the drive and ambition that her cousins and friends had. She was afraid that if she stopped she'd never get moving again. "It sort of feels like it, when everyone else seems to have forever figured out already."
“Do they?” Gregory smiled. “We can always check in ten years, see if they're where they thought they'd be.”
Megan swung her legs back and forth, the toes of her scuffed shoes just barely skimming across the floor. She looked at the plate of cookies in the middle of the table, the glass of milk in front of her, but her hands were tucked under her legs. "Will it ever be less scary?" she asked her uncle, worry lacing her voice.
“Will what be less scary?” Gregory asked as he brought his own glass to the table, sitting across from her.
"Everything?" Megan chewed on her lower lip. "Tommy was playing with his friends yesterday and he was late coming home. And I thought something happened to him." At least it was summer now, though. A break from school and fire drills, which were a lot scarier now.
“The world can be pretty scary.” Gregory nodded along. With everything that had happened in the past year, there was no denying that. And Gregory didn't believe in lying to children, more figuring out how to speak on their level. “What's the scariest for you?”
"None of us noticed Alice had left. And now she's gone and what if something happens to me or to Tommy?" Or their cousins, or another of their friends? Kids their age weren't supposed to die.
Gregory reached to push the tray of cookies a little closer. “Terrible things can happen. But you can also try and be safer, to try and keep them from happening. Did your parents know where Tommy was?”
Megan reached over and took a cookie, but she didn't eat it. She shook her head. "They were both at work. The babysitter said he could go to his friend's house. She wasn't worried but she wasn't there." A college student, home for the summer, she hadn't been in town on Halloween. She didn't know how scary that was.
“Maybe we can talk with your parents, set up check ins with each other?” He offered. “I'm sure your dad would be on board.”
Megan shook her head much more vehemently this time. "No, mom and dad are worried enough already. I heard them talking about money the other night. They're worried the mill won't stay open now that Mr. March is gone. They don't need to worry about us, too." She nibbled a little on the cookie.
“Megan, of course they worry about you.” Gregory answered gently. “You're their children, they'll always love and worry. But if you talk to them, they can help.”
"No, they'll just worry more." Megan continued shaking her head. Stupid stubborn pride she inherited from her dad. "I can take care of me and Tommy. I'm just scared."
“There's nothing wrong with getting help.” Gregory added gently. “After all, you know your dad would do anything for you right? You might be surprised, maybe talking to each other will help with some of all that worry.”
Megan nodded, she knew her dad would do anything for his family. He could scare away the scariest monsters. But she still didn't want to make her parents worry more about her and Tommy. It was why she had started learning how to mend everyone's clothes herself, why she was teaching herself to cook, so her parents didn't have to worry about those things. "But will the scared ever go away?"
“It gets better. But it's easier when you let other people help you with it.” Gregory reached forward to take a cookie for himself.