WHO: Xo Valdez and Lincoln Mayfair WHEN: Many places around Fall City WHERE: 2000, 2006, 2008, 2012, 2014. /phew SUMMARY: Xo and Lincoln have been friends for a long time and been strangely romantically entangled for almost as long? But almost always unintentionally. WARNINGS: Sexual allusions. Emotions. Irresponsible drinking. Somehow dating the same boy but not at the same time.
There were only a few weeks left in school. Which meant not having to look into the faces of everyone as regularly. Until those few weeks were up yet it was like every time she walked anywhere the scene from prom was playing in people's heads when they saw her. And Xo hated it. She wanted to be seen but not like that, not a crying mess with her heart broken and him being everywhere in a school this small.
She had a study hall period. Only instead of study hall she was sitting under the bleachers, knees curled to her chest as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She had to get a hold of herself.
The sound of footsteps, gradually getting louder, reached her ears then, followed by a thump when someone sat down next to her. Lincoln was in gym clothes, and the pitter-patter of his fellow students running around the track was in the background. But what was skipping gym class, if you caught a glimpse of a crying friend?
He didn’t say anything for a long moment, just pressing his shoulder against hers.
“So,” Lincoln finally said, and cleared his throat awkwardly, “... I can sic Mitzi on him. She’s vicious, seriously…”
Xo almost bolted when she heard someone approaching. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this, still crying over some boy. Some boy who had been everything and she had loved so much and then he had ripped her heart out in front of everyone.
But it was Lincoln. So for now Xo stayed put, her arms wrapping around the one of his that was pressed up against her. She sniffled against his arm. “Kennedy’s meaner than Mitzi.”
“Well, if I tell Kennedy to do something she’ll just do the opposite, so I’ll just ask her to please be super nice to him and definitely not beat up on him a little bit.” Lincoln wasn’t really as naturally funny as some of the other boys he knew, but at least he had the good sense to try and lighten the mood; to be honest, the sight of Xo crying seemed so out of place and unnatural — warm-hearted and fun as he’d always known her — as to shake his composure even on a good day. Unsure what other comfort he had to give, he scooted a little closer, her tears soaking into the sleeve of his gym shirt.
A small laugh escaped her, followed by a quick sniffle as even laughing seemed to choke her. The idea of Kennedy beating someone up was almost uplifting but right now she just wanted to disappear. If she beat him up it would just draw attention to everything. Turning her head, she burned it in the sleeve of his shirt. It smelled like sweat already but her nose was getting stuffed so it probably didn’t matter. “Shouldn’t you be in class?” she mumbled against him.
“It’s just P.E.,” he replied, a hand lifting to hesitantly pat her twice on the back. “Doesn’t matter. I can stay until the bell.”
“Ok.” She nodded slightly, not that she had given him any option to pull away. “Thank you.”
His careful shrug jostled her head lightly, but then he didn’t move for the next ten minutes.
Xo sniffled, the tears still pouring down her cheeks. But not as hard. Right now at least they seemed manageable.
It was nice seeing Lincoln happy with someone. And Emmett was cute! Both of the Hayes twins were, if a little severe. But hey, if that sort of intensity was what got Lincoln going then Xo was never going to be anything but supportive.
“Soooo.” She crooned as she reached for Lincoln's hand and tugged at it playfully with both of hers. “How's life on the land of puppy love?”
Lincoln did not blush. He did not.
“It’s fine,” he grumbled, but after a moment offered a smile. He never brought up these personal things on his own, but he wasn’t adverse to talking about them if allowed to prepare a bit. “He’s… he gets me. I like him.”
“Oooooh, you like him.” Xo’s voice lifted up in bright conspiracy as her nose wrinkled up towards him. She squeezed her captured hand happily in return for this information only to bring it up to her heart as she pretended to swoon and pitched her voice down low. “Oh Emmett, you make my heart fill with poems. Like. I like you. It's almost a haiku.”
“I’m not that far gone,” Lincoln cried, but laughed at the same time, yanking his hand away to swat at her lightly. “It’s just… nice. I don’t know. I haven’t dated in a long time… I like having a, a person.”
“A persooooon.” Xo singsonged as she wrapped her hands against his upper arm instead, leaning against him playfully. “A muscley cop person.” her eyebrows waggled playfully. “Is he any good?”
“Good?” asked Lincoln blankly, and then, immediately, “Good. Yes. Good. Great. Fine.”
The only way to really describe the noise that came out of Xo was a cackle. But a cackle didn’t sound very lady like and Xo was always lady like. Sort of. “Fine? Only fine? Do I need to give him a talking to?” her grin almost made her cheeks hurt.
He promptly looked horrified. “No! No, of course not. Fine is — what’s wrong with fine? Fine is perfect.”
Xo’s eyebrow very nearly met her hairline at that. Only one hand let go of him and it landed squarely on her hip. “Lincoln. If you think fine is perfect I need to give you a better sex talk than you've clearly gotten.”
Groaning, he covered his face with his hands, though his attempt to shake her grip off was halfhearted at best. “I didn’t just say fine. I also said good, and great.”
“And then you settled on fine.” She squeezed his arm playfully. “I will go and give him a talking to if he needs to shape up!”
Lincoln peeked out from behind his hands, snorting. “Don’t worry. He doesn’t.”
“So…”
There was literally no non-awkward way to bring up, ‘how is your boyfriend, who used to be my boyfriend?’
Lincoln gave up, and cleared his throat, because as much as he wanted to there was no way they could avoid this forever. “...How’s Emmett doing?”
“Oh.” Xo smiled just slightly around the straw of her milkshake. A sip was taken to distract for a moment long enough to come up with an answer. It was weird, right? Maybe. But they were friends and Lincoln and Emmett were still … well, they coexisted, if very awkwardly, with no bad blood.
“Great. Fine. I mean. Gr-fine. Both of those things.”
Lincoln chuckled, and the tension was relieved.
“Good,” he said decisively, and meant it. “And you’re happy?”
“Yeah.” the tension around her eyes melted away as she gave a sweet smile. It couldn’t be helped, that bright haze of new love. “Just. It’s nice to be with someone who sees you, you know?”
He smiled back. How could he not?
“Yeah. I know.”
The smile was easy, honest. But there was still something that nagged a little in the back of her head. “Did you just.” she paused, taking a breath that sounded almost like a huff. “His friend, Innes? Was she... weird with you at all?”
“Hm,” Lincoln blinked, surprised. “Innes? I… I don’t think so.” His eyebrows pulled together as he thought. “She didn’t like me much, I can say that. If that’s what you mean by weird.”
“Yeah, I mean. I'm pretty sure she hates me.” Xo fiddled nervously with a napkin. “Not that everyone has to like me. Just. It seems like he values her opinion a lot.”
Across from her Lincoln made another non-committal noise, his eyes flickering from her hands to her face. “He does. They’re very close. But she’ll warm up to you, given a little time.” After all, Innes was fine with him now. He wouldn’t say that this only started after he and Emmett had broken up.
“Maybe.” She went quiet for a moment as she bit at the edge of her mouth. Shaking her head, she let her smile return. “But yeah, it's all good.”
“Good,” her friend said, a final note to his voice. “Better focus on just you two, and all.”
“Exactly. I'm just probably overthinking it.” Her smile grew more natural as she reached across the table to take one of his hands. “I'm really glad we're all good. You're important to me.”
“Of course we’re all good.” Lincoln didn’t have to say it back, for the sentiment to be clear in the way he squeezed her fingers.
There was a reason, maybe even more than one, maybe even a lot of reasons why Lincoln tried to drink less these days than those old college years; he was almost thirty years old, after all, and hangovers were far worse.
Right now he felt pretty great, though, enabled into drinks by someone or other, and none of those reasons were coming to mind.
Right now he was kissing someone, a friend, a good friend, and he felt young, and alive, and it was nice even though it wasn’t something he normally did.
At some point he pulled back, hesitating although he felt good, so good his head swam with it. “Is this… okay?”
Thinking wasn’t exactly what Xo was doing right now. She spent so much time thinking when really the only time she ever felt right about anything was when she was doing instead. Which was how now was happening, the rough scrap of stubbled skin against her own, the exploration of someone known but completely new somehow in this light and angle.
Lincoln pulled back and Xo had the moment to breathe, the exact last thing she wanted to do. The world didn’t need to shimmer back into focus, her mind didn’t need to be involved in this at all. Everything felt so sure and full of motion and reality that what could thinking bring to the table.
Instead her hands found the hem of her shirt and she tugged it up and over her head to toss over on the floor.
That was answer enough for him.
It had been years — literal years — since Lincoln had fallen into bed with one of his oldest friends. It wasn’t a thing he normally, well, ever did, with friends or strangers alike, and so he hadn’t told a single soul about it, but nonetheless it had stayed with him, and he had wondered, if maybe that leap wasn’t really so daunting.
But Xo had Olly coming, and then had Olly, and now she had another boyfriend, and Lincoln certainly was not the sort to pine, at least that was what he liked to think.
“So,” he said one day, after a nice dinner, Olly put to bed, “how’s your boyfriend?” He couldn’t actually remember who it was. Maybe he had purposefully forgotten.
“What boyfriend?” Xo asked as she handed Lincoln a glass of soda. There was an honest curiosity and bafflement to her answer, because as far as she knew she wasn't dating anyone. Then again depending on who you asked she was dating half the town at any given moment. So maybe it wasn't the weirdest question.
She took a seat next to him on the couch with her own glass in hand.
There was a crease in his eyebrows when he looked at her. “Weren’t you dating — Mitch?” Isn’t he too old for our age? Lincoln was thinking, and wanted to say, but didn’t. He wasn’t the least jealous man in the world, but having been friends with Xo for literal decades, being jealous of everyone she’d ever dated would … simply be far too much effort.
“Oh, right.” Xo took a half forgotten sip because that had been a thing. Almost enough to be called dating. Not that it wasn’t fun, it was, just. That was all it was ever going to be and there was no reason for pretense. “We ended that like. Uh. Two months? Three?”
“Yeah?”
Lincoln tried to hide his interest, then remembered that he did not, in fact, want to hide his interest, and that combined with his surprise put a truly confusing look on his face.
“Ah, that’s… I wanted to talk…” His mind had whipped into overdrive, joyously enumerating all the possible bad things that could happen if he dated a friend. Their lives, their jobs, their friends, their families — all were connected in Fall City and all would be affected if —
But that was just him getting ahead of himself, thinking about what would happen to a relationship gone wrong when he didn’t even know if Xo was interested. Surely she was, or had been, on some level, otherwise they would have never fallen into bed together a couple years back, but that was then and this was now.
Best out with it, then.
Lincoln put his glass down, and reached out to her, until the backs of his fingers brushed lightly against her upper arm. “What would you say about going out to dinner with me sometime?” he asked her, meeting her gaze and hoping the context of their conversation and the seriousness underlying his voice would get his meaning across.
Oh Xo got it, the hand on her arm and the way he looked at her with that mix of anxiety and hope. And it was an almost strange but light feeling, a bubbling sort of excited joy and possibility. It was unexpected, and Xo loved the unexpected.
“We just had dinner.” she answered, but a smile pulled at the edges of her mouth.
His own lips turned down in return, somewhere between a scowl and a pout, but the hope in his eyes grew brighter. “You know what I mean — not like this. Like a date… we could try.”
“Oh I see, like a date.” She set her wine glass down, the smile only sneaking out further as she faced him again. “Like you want to date me.”
“That’s the idea, yes,” he replied, torn between rolling his eyes and whining for her to let him off the hook, here, but he suddenly felt at ease: this wasn’t a stranger or friendly acquaintance, but was his friend of over two decades. Lincoln was not often truly comfortable around others, so that feeling was something to be cultivated. He echoed back her words, confidently: “I want to date you.”
She gasped playfully, hands over her mouth in an over exaggerated fashion. Beneath them was a grin that almost hurt her cheeks but she couldn't be bothered to notice. “You like me!” Her hands slid down to reveal a grin. “You like like me!”
It was immature sure, but there was a half familiar giddiness. She leaned in, hands landing light on his thigh. “You want to hug me, you want to kiss me.” She singsonged. “You want to buy me diiiiinner.”
“You could buy me dinner too, you know,” Lincoln said, but his tone held less sass than his words, and he couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from hers. The poutiness from before fell away from his expression; he couldn’t hold it, not while she was looking at him like that, and his worries from before seemed silly at best.
“You asked so you pay for dinner.” Xo answered in the same singsong as she leaned forward. Her teeth dragged at her lip, all excitement and a little bit of hope as she brought their faces closer. “You want to daaaaaaaaate meeeeee.”
“Fine,” he laughed, not moving away even an inch. “I’ll pay for dinner. So that’s a yes?”
“Yes, I, Xo, say yes to you, Lincoln, to you taking me on a date.” She reached up, wrapping an arm around his neck and letting herself settle against him. “But only if you kiss me right now.”
He obliged, chuckles fading until only a smile remained, still present as he pressed his lips to hers.
It wasn’t their first kiss, but it had all the qualities of one nonetheless.