Who: Tsuzuki & Shizuru Where: The greenhouses When: September 1 (before the students show up sooooo backdated), morning What: Teacher and TA meet Status: COMPLETE! Warnings: Some mentions of past suicide attempts, lots of emo feels
It was first day he was back at Hogwarts after The Incident. He always thought of it that way: The Incident. Of course, it wasn’t exactly the first time. He’d had to come to talk about the position, but it was the first day of the school year. Unconsciously, he ran his thumb over the scar on his right wrist. He wore a watch on that wrist always in an effort to hide his scar. He didn’t want anyone to know. He knew he couldn’t keep it a secret, however. He would have to write his therapist or find a way to call her if something came up. Hogwarts needed someone, he thought, but he didn’t really know if it was something that would ever come up.
He’d already unpacked and made sure that Byakko was settled in. It was only two months into their relationship, but things seemed to be going smoothly. The cat hadn’t died yet and he could remember to feed him when he had to. He’d graduated from a plant, but that was almost too easy. Almost. He was getting used to the feeling of waking up with a warm ball of fur sleeping next to him, in the crook of his legs or on his chest if he slept on his back. When he scratched the top of his head, Byakko purred. Instant proof of the fact that he was doing something right. The way he weaved in between his legs in a figure eight was a bit of a mystery. Was it a good thing or was the cat trying to kill him? Then again, if anyone Byakko didn’t like got too close to Tsuzuki, he tended to hiss at them.
Drawing himself out of his thoughts, he adjusted his watch and walked toward the greenhouses. He’d have to introduce himself to the teacher - someone new - Shizuru Kanazawa. He stopped outside of the greenhouse he was instructed to go to before peeking in. “Hello? My name is Asato Tsuzuki. I’m supposed to be meeting Ms. Kanazawa…”
~*~
Shizuru had admittedly not been looking forward to meeting her new TA, or by the prospect of having one at all. It wasn’t that she was a perfectionist, or distrustful--but she was the latter actually--it was just that things were assuredly done correctly when she did them, and she really didn’t see a need for one at all anyway. Grading wasn’t an issue, even while creating lesson plans and working on her own personal projects. The first year of her teaching career had gone smoothly, what had changed now?
The headmaster had told her it was so that she would have more time to devote to her projects and give special attention to students who needed it. Lift some of the burden off of her shoulders along with giving a former student a chance to shine and train for possibly becoming a teacher later in life. Even though they hadn’t let her have a say in the matter they had at least sent her his name and his resume so she would be at least partially prepared. Which was good, because she liked to be prepared. The stereotype of having one of the limited number of Japanese professors having a Japanese TA was also displeasing, but not enough for her to audibly complain.
She had been prepared to look in control and professional, sitting at her desk all neat and together, but she hadn’t been able to sit still as usual, and was instead working on several lists she had pinned to her walls that held necessary counts and timetables for the coming year, standing on a stool to reach ones she had inexplicable pinned high above her reach, and though she heard her name she did not stop writing messily with her quill on the parchment, wobbling on the stool, “Speak friend and enter.” The remark said offhandedly as she focused on the handwriting being legible not falling at the same time.
~*~
Tsuzuki himself hadn't wondered at the idea of two people of Japanese descent being put together. It was that they were both good at Herbology and it was something that happened to be. His doctor at the facility had been Japanese as well. He had even been relaxed about payment for the medical treatment he gave. Tsuzuki had been thankful for that. The point was, it didn't really surprise him when he seemed to find the only other Japanese person in a certain setting because it just happened.
When he heard the voice, he laughed a little, "I forget the word for it, but I hope it's okay to come in anyway. I should have paid more attention to the movie, I guess." He stepped inside, taking in the room. It was a mess, but he couldn't really talk. He was not the neatest himself. It seemed chaotic and haphazard to him, but she probably knew where things were. He hoped. Otherwise, they'd be in trouble. He was quiet as he looked around the room, blinking a little. Then he remembered he was supposed to be introducing himself and a blush crept over his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish.
"Hello. Again." God, he was dumb. Okay. He could do this. "I guess you already know that I'm your new TA." As long as this was really the professor. He studied her quietly for a moment. She seemed to be. "Is there anything I can help you with?"
~*~
Stepping down off the stool Shizuru straightened her robes, assessing the man before her who of course dwarfed her in height. Nothing new there, although she did find his eyes interesting, wondering if his blood was mixed with something non-human or an experiment backfired. They didn’t look like muggle contacts either way that was for sure.
Setting her quill down with her hands on her hips she gave him a stony look, “Call me Shizuru,” Finally, an apprehensive smile at someone invading her work sphere though still trying to be friendly, rationally knowing that he meant no harm and she extended a hand, “Welcome back to Hogwarts. How would you like to be addressed?” While making people uncomfortable was something she enjoyed, she preferred not to do it on accident by calling someone by something they were not happy with. He was nervous, obviously, normal for someone on their first day, and she liked that, nervousness meant he wasn’t cocky.
~*~
His eyes were something he was never really sure of. No one else had eyes like them, but that didn't mean anything. He'd long ago stopped trying to find a way to explain them and merely shrugged when people asked about them. He was glad not to be questioned about them, though. He pulled his attention from the room surrounding and focused on the woman that was standing in front of him. She didn't seem nervous, really. It was more like she was trying to figure out what to do with him. He could understand that if he was being honest. He didn't always know what to do with himself. Also, that look was sort of terrifying, so he would try not to get it too often.
"Oh. Shizuru. Okay." He smiled back and tried to keep himself from feeling any more awkward than he already did being back here. "Thank you. You can call me Tsuzuki. Almost no one calls me Asato." Well, no one but a few people and only when they were really angry with him. He tried to ignore that, though. Mostly because he didn't want to think about people being angry with him.
~*~
She nodded, pulling out her chair at her desk and sitting down, gesturing to the student’s chair for him as she got comfortable before spinning around and starting the tea pot warming, “Do you want tea?” Pausing a moment she grabbed two tea mugs before opening up one of her drawers and pulling out an uneven stack of parchment and dropping it on the desk in front of him. So far Tsuzuki seemed sincere if somewhat awkward and out of sorts, she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to the new job jitters. But he better not be that way when faced with students, she didn’t need a pushover giving in to them when she stood her ground.
Facing him again as the water heated she leveled with him, “Alright Tsuzuki I’ll be frank, I don’t want a TA, I really don’t feel like I need one, but you’re here.” Her tone was flat, on occasion her inflections were abnormal because of her odd socialization growing up, “You are not going to sit around in your PJs and goof off. I expect you to be stern on the students. You’re representing me and Hogwarts.” What would she set him to, grading? Images flashed in her eyes of hovering over him to ensure it was done correctly, “These are the syllabi for this year, broken up by year designation.”
~*~
"Yes, thank you." In truth, the majority of his uncertainty had to do with the place and the memories that came with it rather than the job. He could do the work and he could tell others how to do it. That wouldn't be the problem. The problem would be getting past everything that came with being at the school brought about. It was a new and troubling situation, but he would have to work through it. He would have to push past it in order to have a normal life here.
The admission that she didn't want him around didn't really help matters. He felt a strange twisting in his stomach. Even here he wasn't wanted, but then he didn't have a place to be wanted before. He didn't have anywhere. "Ah. Of course." He cleared his throat. Stern was Tatsumi's territory. He'd never been good at stern. Maybe if he could find a way to get them to listen while been just himself, it would be okay. He moved the papers over to himself and looked at them, trying not to focus on all the emotions that were building up. He already knew he was going to need to talk to his therapist once this was over. His finger moved over the section where the Venemous Tentaculas would be studied. He almost wished he'd finished school and not...dealt so poorly with everything. "If there's anything I have skill with, it's Herbology. My..." He froze, shaking his head. "I've had a lot of experience with plants in and out of school."
~*~
Shizuru’s friend who would take her bar hopping in her younger days would have noticed the negative impact of her words on the man before her. Kay--bless her soul-- would have smacked her and comforted him. But Kay was not here, and there was no one to point out that she had made him uncomfortable, so instead of reacting like a proper human being she reached out with her wand to tap on the stack of parchment, duplicating it with a gesture. Stowing the originals away in the process, “You can have those, I’ll have some other stuff gathered for you soon,” Turning back to the table behind her she retrieved the tea kettle that was now whistling. Setting a tea bag of English Breakfast in each mug before pouring the water in with quick effeciency.
Maybe he was lucky to be working with someone who had some difficulty noticing things like that, and even if she did the Professor would normally not react, feeling rather uncomfortable with speaking to people about feelings. Few heart to heart conversations happened in her office.
“Within the next few days I will have to adjust the wards on greenhouse six so you can have easy entry, students are not allowed inside without an escort, preferably one of us but I am obligated to allow other staff as well,” Pausing to take a tentative sip of her tea she took another measure of him, maybe the Headmaster was right. Perhaps this would give her more time to be a better Head of House. They would see, in due time.
~*~
Tsuzuki kept the papers on the desk for the time being, trying to ignore the rest of everything. He didn't have anyone that would probably notice the subtle shifts in his moods. Some days it took considerable effort to drag himself out of bed and he had to give himself rewards just for things like that. Now he was somewhere where everything was...both the same and different. Same place, different outlook. He'd changed, but the castle hadn't.
"Of course." He remembered that being the case beforehand. You couldn't just wander into the places where there were dangerous plants without a teacher being present. It was only because the plants could cause harm if you weren't careful and you didn't know what you were doing. He knew that just as well as anything else. "Will I be doing grading as well?"
~*~
Would he? Another sip of her tea and her brows furrowed, she didn’t consider herself a perfectionist by any means, she just wanted to ensure things were done correctly. There was nothing wrong with that. Especially because he would be partially representing her.
Finally, after taking perhaps a bit longer than what was normally comfortable to contemplate a simple question she nodded, “We will start you off with just the first through third years first and I’ll see how you handle it. We will have you sit in on the classes as well.” Tilting her head to the side she leaned forward to take a closer look at him, “How do you deal with people crying, do you give in or stand your ground?” It was a strange question, but one she had found was strangely apt even in the short time she had been there.
~*~
"Okay." That meant he would have a majority of assignments that were painful to read, but he guessed that was something that he had to deal with. The question caught him off guard. How did he deal with people crying? He really hoped people weren't going to cry. Why? Why would they cry? He tried not to look like a deer in headlights and reminded himself that there was a right answer to this question and hopefully no kids would cry.
"Well, it really depends on what they're crying about. If they're upset about something, I think it wouldn't be a bad thing to figure out what's upsetting them, but if it's just because they don't want to do something that they're required to do, then they'd have to deal with the fact that they have to do it. If it's part of school, they'd have to. Unless it's a problem with allergic reaction or something. We all had to do the same stuff."
~*~
Pushover. She leaned back in her chair and filed away the categorization for later thought, it wasn’t necessarily a bad response though not the one she was hoping for.At least his face was amusing before he tried to hide his reaction. Ah well, maybe someone with a contrasting personality would be better anyway.
Another large drink of tea that burned her throat and she set the mug down on the desk before standing, stretching her arms even though she had only been sitting for a short while. The thought of having someone else with the freedom to go through her space bothered her immensely, she could almost hear her father’s disapproval in her ears as she looked around her office. But she really had no choice in the matter. She was a professional, and she would behave as such, “If you want to move anything ask me first, if I’m in a rush I don’t want to have to ask you where things are.” Pulling out a sliding drawer underneath the desk she gestured to a massive leather book, “Don’t touch this. It’ll hurt you.” A complete compendium of grades and thoughts on every student she had taught thus far. Then she turned to her wall and found herself at a bit of a loss.
It was a simply a scattering of parchment in varying levels of whole, some completely filled and some not. Shizuru had impeccable handwriting, very small and very neat, though on some of the pieces it was obvious she was writing at a strange angle, “So I’m not really sure how to describe my system here,” Honesty was the best policy, except when it wasn’t. This time it was though
~*~
He couldn't help the person that he was. He didn't do well with crying. But it was probably okay. Shizuru seemed he sort to be able to terrify students all on her own. He listened quietly, glancing down at the leather book. Part of him wanted to touch it now because he was told that he wasn't supposed to, but then an image of Tatsumi's angry face flashed in his mind and he decided not to do that because someone was bound to murder him. Also he didn't want to die from a book.
He tried to focus on the parchment on the wall, but he didn't think he'd figure out the system today. It would probably take a while for him to figure it out. Still, he tried to look around at things and place them. "I guess I'll just take the first few days figuring out the system, then. When we're not in class." Tatsumi would have been so much more suited to this. He was always good at categorizing and making sense of things. Then again, if it was him, it wouldn't be organized chaos. It would be organized. Part of him wished that the other man was there or that he could write him and have him come for a visit. Anything. Maybe even Watari. They were busy, though. So he would have to accept that. His not-really-place was here and he had to do his job and not wish someone else could do it for him.
~*~
Nodding in approval of his answer, not too confident but not backing down from the challenge either she walked to her filing cabinet, more muggle like than her peers but she liked things that worked no matter where they came from. Opening it she beckoned him towards her, not waiting for him to catch up before she started talking again, “This is where I keep assignments from students or other such things like notes from one on one meetings, each student has their own file. I save everything” Extra emphasis on the ‘everything’, you never know what could be of import later and she didn’t want him throwing anything away.
Small tabs designated who each section was assigned to, “They are organized by student type and personality then alphabetically.” She pulled open the first drawer, “Diligent students, A through D,” Her fingers glided past the small tabs with the ease of familiarity before settling on one, “Dale, Fawn. You’ll like her.” In each section there were separate files, “One for assignments, one for notes, etc. This is fairly self explanatory.” A glance at him to ensure that he understood and would not change anything or forget.
~*~
Tsuzuki moved to look at the files. Muggle things weren't as foreign to him as they were to some people. He knew them well enough to be able to understand how to use things. He studied the drawer she'd open. "Everything?" She sounded more and more like Tatsumi every second he was around her. It made him feel oddly more at ease. It didn't stop him from missing his friend, but it made him feel less nervous. He could deal with people like Tatsumi and assuming they might kill you at any moment.
He listened as she went through the system of the students, telling him about a girl named Fawn. He didn't ask why he was probably going to like her. He assumed it was because she did her work and probably liked Herbology. He knew that he liked it, so other people that liked it were good for him. There was a nod when she looked up at him. "One for assignments, one for notes. Got it."
~*~
Another measuring look, hopefully he was getting used to those. Normally(mostly, usually) she was friendlier upon first meeting but her hackles were still raised from just having been assigned in the first place. But, she would get over it in due time. He seemed both intimidated and someone attentive to detail, both of these things met with her approval.
Sitting back at the desk her eyes scanned the room, “I suppose that’s all for now, I expect you at minimum to be at each of the classes on the first day so that I can introduce you to the students. I would like you not to be in my office before I get here, if you are in one of the greenhouses early I expect you to announce yourself when I arrive,” The mental checklist was ever growing, “I don’t like loud noises and I don’t like to be startled, I rise early. Don’t contradict me in front of the class. If you disagree with me on anything we will discuss it after class. We must appear united.” As should all the staff even if they disagree.
~*~
The list of things he was supposed to do was getting longer by the minute and he already felt tired just thinking about it. He was probably never meant to teach. Really, he probably should have been left to himself in a greenhouse or a flower shop. But this was all a part of something bigger. All a part of pushing himself to see if he could manage it properly. Herbology was somewhere where he excelled which meant that he knew what he was doing. It was also somewhere where he could go to hide if things got too overwhelming. Clearly after classes. They were different, but that was normal. He wasn't an early riser unless something disturbed him or he was having sleeping troubles...which he almost never had. Even when he had nightmares, he could usually turn over and fall asleep a few minutes later. It was a gift.
"Got it." That didn't seem unreasonable either. Hopefully his face wouldn't display any difference in opinion. He could probably keep it from doing so. He had a feeling that this meeting was over now, but just to be sure... "I should probably go...look over this and make sure I know what's going on then. Seven years of stuff to know." He probably wouldn't read it all and familiarize himself with it. But at least he'd look at it the night before or the morning of to make sure he knew what was going to be discussed. He'd hang everything up on the wall to make sure he could see it easily. "You're sure you don't need anything else?"
~*~
Shizuru shook her head, “No, you’re fine, enjoy the short time left before classes and be ready to hit the ground running so they say.” She herself still had some prepping to do before classes started, but she wanted him to be prepared instead of helping her, at least for now. The last thing she needed as him standing there looking dazed and confused in front of the class with her.
Almost as an afterthought she looked back up at him, “Pleasant meeting you, Tsuzuki.” Before turning back to her wall of parchment to get back to what she had been doing.