A small shake of his head was all he could manage, lips pressed together tightly as he forced down everything else that threatened to escape. Going missing would have been hard enough on them, but finding him again would be even worse, between what was done to him and everything he had done. He felt terrible enough as it was having to hide those things from those who were still trying to be his friend, doubting they would if they knew the truth. Steve still liked him, but Steve was wrong. He tried not to slosh the hot tea on himself as his hand trembled.
"It'd just upset them. Who wants a murderer for a son?" he let out a shaky breath, eyes squeezed shut. He waited for her to tell him to get out, that she couldn't help him because it was all his fault.