james barnes (yourbucky) wrote in carpediem_rp, @ 2015-10-05 00:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: bucky barnes (dropped), character: steve rogers, thread: complete |
Who: Bucky and Steve
When: October 5, lunch
Where: Charms classroom => Great Hall
What: Getting lunch
Rating/Warnings: mild, language?
Status: Closed/In progress
Last week he'd been practically crying into Steve's chest, and at the time it had felt safe and right to be held by him, the knowledge that they'd been captured together way too overwhelming to want to deal with anything else in that moment. Afterwards James felt awkward and still at a complete loss what to say to his former friend who was essentially still a stranger, after he had allowed himself too much vulnerability far too soon. There was still too much unspoken hanging between them. Having somebody know his entire life story when the only pieces he had were small snippets of meaningless information was hard enough, but he was also faced with the fact he knew nothing about Steve either. No idea how to approach him, no idea what sorts of things they used to do together or what they used to share. Just that they had both suffered and no idea how to make that okay.
It felt too important to mess up and no idea how to do it right, and then longer he overthought what his next move should be, the more difficult it became to even take it. Which was frustrating, because he didn't feel like somebody who would normally struggle with this sort of thing. Yet he'd spent all of their classes together silently staring at the boy, trying to figure out who he was and what he was like. Who his friends were, what sorts of hobbies and habits he had. How he was supposed to fit into any of it.
At the end of Charms class, he realized he learned more about the back of Steve's head than he did about the subject itself, must have missed the professor dismissing them because everyone was packing up to leave and all his stuff was still out on the desk. Dammit.